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Monday, June 9, 2014

Fresh Hot Whines

Many thanks to Esperanza for hosting last week, despite all kinds of busy and crazy, and the fact that it was Funk Week.  Lovely job!  Hope all is calmer this week.  Thanks, too, to the Pixies for excellent contributions.

~~~~~~~
Let's start with an antiwhine:  Tiny cat got adopted!  All 7 of the babies that daughter has fostered so far found their forever homes right away.  AW:  CCW was moved to start fostering, too!  The cuteness is overwhelming.

W:  It is 8:30 a.m. and I already have a dozen work-related emails so far.  W:  Must make progress on current albatross.

AW:  Made excellent mashed potatoes last night.  And too many of them, so there will still be some tonight!

Big W:  The fireplacing cancer, again already.  My friend who had a recurrence, but the mets were too small for a clinical trial?  One grew, but they still won't take her.  She is thinking of trying the doc who originally treated her, who has since moved to a distant state on the wrong end of the universe.  The hell of it is that she still feels pretty good, just a little tired.  We'll see, I guess, what happens next.

 AW:  I'm just pathetically excited about U reunion weekend after next. 

What's the news from your sector?

63 comments:

liz said...

I am splutteringly angry and can do nothing about it. And I want to get right up in the face of the person whose fault it all is and that's not possible. RAGE. HULK SMASH!

kathy a. said...

Here, have a voodoo doll. They can take it. Sorry about the rage -- but sometimes people do unforgivable, unbelievable things.

xoxo

kathy a. said...

A freaking gunman who just did a big police chase is right in the area where I grew up. All the schools are on lockdown. I can't stand this anymore. That is all.

liz said...

((((Kathy))))

KLee said...

It's been a while since I was here -- sorry to keep dropping in and out!

Kathy, are you anywhere near the gunman? Please stay safe! Everyone else, likewise!

There's so much going on... where to even start?

The daughter of my Mom's friend (not someone I know personally) was murdered by her husband the other night. He beat her to death while their children were in the house. This has really hit me in a bad place, though I didn't even know her. It's a combination of things, I think -- extreme sorrow for her parents and kids; devastation that her kids will grow up without her, and that their family was shattered in an instant because of one selfish person; and anger at the man who did this to them. There but for the grace of God, you know? It has made me so, so grateful for the way my life turned out, because I could have made those bad choices -- that could have been my life...ANY of our lives. And, then I feel so incredibly guilty that I'm obsessing over what could have happened to ME, when it DID happen to her.

So, my head is in a bad place, and I cannot discuss it with my husband, as much as I love him, because he really DOES obsess about stuff like this, and I don't want to send him into a spiral. Just feel so sad and heartbroken for those children and her parents.

It also reminds me that my little chick is leaving the nest, and I'm having a hard time with that, too. For those of you who know me on FB, you will have seen posts and pictures, but for those who have not -- Offspring graduated high school in late May. She was in the top ten of her class, and a bucketload of other honors, and will be leaving to go to school in Kentucky in late August. I have no idea what I'm going to do when she's gone. I'm going to miss her so much, i don't think I can even put it into words.

So, to sum it all up -- I am a large quivering pile of jelly right about now.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln -- how was the play?

KLee

kathy a. said...

((( KLee ))) It's ok to be a quivering mass of what-all. YAY for offspring! And I do not even know what to say about your mom's frien's daughter, except it is awful. And you are right, we are lucky. xoxo

I have not even lived in the area of the latest random nutjob for close to 40 years, but that area was my area from birth up until college. Which, as you recall, is FOREVER in developmental terms.

There are just things that happen too close, you know? And I want it all to STOP RIGHT NOW, DO YOU HEAR ME?

kathy a. said...

Ahem. Passing some chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream, for the things we cannot change.

And strong coffee, very good wine, and a gourmet buffet, for the things we can. Do I hear a second?

Anonymous said...

I'll second that all day long. And thirds too.
--Neighbor Lady

Miranda said...

So...life is interesting. I started a big new chunky role and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. My one solace is that the totally awesome person I am replacing is equally overwhelmed in his new big role and he is totally amazing so I can maybe cut myself a little slack.

I'm also heading to Mordor for two whole weeks starting Sunday. My ex is coming to watch the offspring. Long time listeners can probably guess how I feel about all of this.

KLee said...

I'll add my jelly to a huge mound of chocolate cake and comfort food buffet.

Kathy a., I do know what you mean. I think that's why I'm finding it hard to deal with this murder that's hit so close to home. The more and more I hear about the husband, he was bad news from the start -- multiple charges of domestic violence and assault and battery, and even robbery. Also, not sure if this is true, but FB posters are saying he had 10 OTHER children in addition to the 3 he had with the wife he killed. 10 OTHER CHILDREN that he didn't take care of! That just means that's more lives he's potentially ruined -- now he'll NEVER be there for any of the children because he will be locked away for murder.

Thank you for your YAY! for Offspring. I am very proud of her. She's done amazingly well, winning Certificates of Merit and medals for academic excellence. I hope she continues to do well into college and beyond. I am surely one Proud Mama.

KLee

Liz said...

(((KLEE)))

Andy said...

Oh my, KLee. So sorry about all that. Prayers to the family.

Miranda! How is Mordor in the summertime?

KathyA: Please be safe.

Liz: The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness informs us that "One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it."

Whine: Blah blah same old lack of sleep, stress, feeling like I get hit by a semi truck every morning general divorce unhappiness. Nothing new to report there, and I'm boring myself just typing it.

AW: In order to get my mind off of it all, I have decided to destroy my brain once and for all by revisiting my childhood obsession of Commodore 64 games and discovering whether or not they were actually impossible, as I have always believed, or if between the ages of 4 and 12 I was actually not all the bright and simply didn't grasp the concepts needed to succeed. The results have been hilarious thus far, so I may have to revive my blog to document all this, mostly for the amusement of my little brother.

liz said...

Andy, you had me at reviving your blog.

kathy a. said...

Neighbor Lady! How are you?

Miranda, hope all goes well with the chunky role; that things are good in Mordor; and that the house is still standing when you return.

KLee, I'm so sorry.

Andy, excellent about the blog. Love the rage advice -- 4 free meltdowns per year!

kathy a. said...

So, I saw this hilarious article about why a fancy multi-course meal costs as much as a family's food budget for a week, and one reason was that such a meal might involve 200 steps! This hits my funny bone because one of my meals can take 200 steps, too, and I don't have an army of sous-chefs, shoppers, cleaner-uppers, etc.

Of course, some of my steps include: shlepping to the market; trying to figure out where they have hidden all the carts; dodging crazy drivers in the parking lot; sandblasting dried food off of plates the fam has left for the dish fairy; searching for the lost contingent of cups and plates; running the dishwasher; chasing the dog out of the house; starting the kitchen fan; noticing we are still missing a key ingredient; etc. etc.

esperanza said...

Vacation: same work, different location.

kathy a. said...

Happy Baboos? Hope there is fun in there, Esperanza!

esperanza said...

Baboos are beach baboos, which is hilarious, since we are all pasty white people. They played themselves silly this morning, and have now crashed in spectacular fashion. Having a siesta to recharge. Crossing fingers that we got sunscreen in all appropriate locations. And thanking whoever invented the rashguard shirt.

kathy a. said...

Beach for the win!

KLee said...

I, too, am thinking of reviving my blog. Talking with my friend Karyn, who is/was a blogger from the Cape Cod area, and seems both she and Anne Glamore are talking about the same revival. It has gotten me thinking about how different life is now, and how to go about chronicling these monumental shifts in then-to-now....

I would love to catch up with my old boggy buddies!

KLee

kathy a. said...

Why did I not know before about Dear Mr. Watterson? Calvin and Hobbes! Free streaming on n3tfl1cks.

Just what the doctor ordered for setting up a memorial lunch, where there are a lot of family dynamics involved. I mean, a LOT. There's the kind of estrangement where everybody's in a snit and still the holiday cards go out; and then there is the kind where sibs and cousins start talking after decades. Talking's good! Little bit of tension going around. There is a date and a place, and it will be good.

Andy said...

Yes, I am definitely going to either revive my blog or start a dedicated blog to ridiculous Commodore 64 games. However, to do it properly, I will have to figure out how to add screenshots and/or video. I mean, it had 16 color palette and 64 kilobytes of RAM, so you know it was awesome.

Sue said...

Hugs all around pixies. I'm on leave this week and binge-watching OITNB with hubby.

I'll check in later in the week. 'Til then, choc and wine for everyone.

xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Andy-- can you get the sound of the dial-up modem? I seem to remember that being extra special!
--Neighbor lady

Liz said...

Klee!!! Revive! Revive!

KLee said...

Liz -- your wish is my command! Blog is updated. Forgive the "catching up" post to start with. I have other stuff percolating. Much invective being suppressed at current levels. I shall ease into the bloggy world again...

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Ooh! Revived blogs and chocolate everywhere!

W: for those who read about the saga of Upstairs Dog peeing on Li'l E's sheepskin rug, the purported washability of the rug may have been exaggerated. Well, I guess repeated washings haven't destroyed or, but it's still yellow, with a vague smell. I'm going for a stronger option today, but this is getting ridiculous.

AW: on a walk with Upstairs Cousin and Dog, we discovered a new playground, which is closer to our house than the usual playground! And it has normal, recognizable playground stuff (like a slide)! They get away with this by putting disclaimer signs on every piece of equipment, with an age rating and a reminder that parental supervision is needed.

W: I haven't had much alone time lately. E got extra clingy when Mr. Q went out of town, and she spends most of her time needing to touch me, even though Mr. Q returned on Sunday. I miss solo bathroom time.

kathy a. said...

QWP, yay about the playground. Here's what the humane society says about the laundry:

Machine wash as usual, adding a one-pound box of baking soda to your regular detergent. It's best to air dry these items if possible. If you can still see the stain or smell the urine, machine wash the item again, and add an enzymatic cleaner (available at pet supply stores) that breaks down pet-waste odors. Be sure to follow the directions carefully.

liz said...

Just got an infuriating phone call letting me know that the DRAMA from last year is in no way over, and that there are people actively searching for someone to primary me next year and therefore the state org can't "play favorites". I basically said, "Bring it". The guy said he wanted to discuss issues he had with my campaign last year.
We've scheduled a longer phone call for tomorrow.

I'm pissed off because a) how is it not him playing favorites if they're searching for someone to run instead? b) they don't have people set up to run in all the other races yet, and they're wasting energy on ME? I thought the point was to kick the other team out.

Sincerely, there are 9+9+4+4+7 races next year, for which we've got 2+3+2 candidates lined up.

Sue said...

Sorry for the drama Liz - use that frustration to bolster your resolve and keep fighting the good fight.

Andy, I hope you're enjoying the vintage gaming! My sons love their C64.

(((KLee)))

Yay for revived blogs!!

QWP - when our boy cat had "troubles" a few years back, we found a good product at the pet store for getting rid of stains and smell. Can't remember what it was called, but it worked well.

kathy a - fingers crossed for the family memorial lunch.

Miranda, you can definitely cut yourself some slack. New roles have a necessary breaking in time.

AW: Study week. Thus, OITNB. :)
(I have attended a webinar, so the week isn't a total wash, work-wise)

W: I think I may have the beginnings of burnout. It's such a cliche word, but if the shoe fits... It's all there, dread in the morning on work days, compassion fatigue, total body exhaustion. Been here before, so I know it will pass. Still, it sucks.

AW: August is vacation month. Can't some soon enough.

AW: I'm still pulling it all together on Sundays, and loving it. It seems no matter what else is happening, I can make Sunday work - I'm really grateful for that.

KLee said...

Liz -- that SUCKS beyond suckage. Like you said, "Bring it!" I have faith in you!

Sue -- sorry for the work slump. I honestly don't know how those with a religious vocation make it work. I guess it's like any other job, but it seems -- to me, that is -- like so much more that just another job. In a way, you are on duty and "on stage" all the time. That would get tiresome for me.

QWP -- sorry about the clinginess. I know it does not help now, but when your child is older and wants to have jack-all to do with you, you will find yourself missing these clingy days. I know you probably want to throw a shoe at me, too. :) Here's hoping you get some solitary bathroom time soon.

Looking forward to some revives of old blogs....:)

KLee

esperanza said...

Sue, I say making Sunday work and then dreading the rest of the week is much better than the other way around.

Mini just discovered an arcade game with rifles. She pondered it, picked it up, pulled the trigger, and said, "Look! I'm putting gas in the car!" I'm charmed by her innocence, but at the same time feel like I need to teach her it's a gun and it's dangerous. Having a "we live in a crappy world" moment.

kathy a. said...

Liz, got your back.

Sue, glad you have some break time, and hear ya about burnout and pushing to pull it all together.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Sue, I'm glad you're on leave this week, because it's understandable that you're burnt out and exhausted. Having heard any your work load, and how do much gets put on you, even on your days off, even when you and Hubby are struggling with your health, burnout is understandable. (Hugs)

The posse is ready to ride on behalf of Liz.

My afternoon has been...odd. It involved a rescue turtle named Elvis hanging out in my kitchen sink, while my cousin and I made frantic calls, trying to find a home for him. (Cousin is a social worker; Elvis' owner recently became homeless, and he just got busted by his shelter for having a secret turtle.)

AW: Owner cried tears of joy when she said she'd take his turtle. And Mr. Q is keeping Elvis in a spare terrarium in his lab, until we can find a forever home. And we have two prospective owners (if Boy Who Just Lost His Mom is allowed to take Elvis, he has first dibs.)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Edit: by "She" I mean "Cousin".

kathy a. said...

It goes without saying that Homeless Turtle Rescue is not only a great band name, but always a winner here at the whine farm. Kudos to all the rescue crew!

Andy said...

W: The problem with reviving a blog is that I was a lowly peon, a totes non-professional grunt when I was writing before, and so I didn't feel too much about writing about work. Now, I'm solidly middle management, so before I start publishing again, I will have to go filter out any references to coworkers or work I had in there. My plan is to just put them in unpublished "draft" mode.

Sue said...

That makes sense Andy.

Thanks for the hugs folks.
esperanza - good point re: Sundays. Sorry about the sucky reality moment. Those innocent moments make you want to freeze time, right?

QWP - here's hoping Operation Homeless Turtle Rescue goes well and a forever home is found ASAP. (Also, kathy is right, best band name ever.)

kathy a. said...

Esperanza, just saw that I missed your arcade game story before. Takes my breath away.

Andy -- congrats on the advancement, and good luck with sorting!

QWP, how large is Elvis? There was a turtle named Shelly [get it?] at my kids' elementary school -- tres popular classroom pet, and the kids got to trade off taking her [him?] home over breaks. Pretty low maintenance, durable pets.

AW, mostly: I'm hiring a recent grad to help me with a bit of research. I forgot that they are kind of like puppies, SOOOOO eager!!!!!!! But you need to be very extremely clear about giving direction.

Sue said...

Good luck with the Puppy/Minion research assistants kathy. Always nice to have help.

AW: Voted in our provincial election this morning. Since the first time I voted at the age of 18, every time I leave the polling station I get a little emotional. No country's system of electing its government is perfect - ours included - but dang, what a privilege it is to vote freely.

liz said...

Amen.

kathy a. said...

Yay for voting!

Things are good with the young enthusiastic person.

I've just designed an e-invitation to a memorial gathering for MIL. Then I realized I do not have a lot of e-addresses for the extended in-laws. In the immortal words of Emily Litella, if it's not one thing, it's another.

AW: daughter has an interview! At the Zoo, where as everyone knows, it's all happening. ;)

KLee said...

I'm here with a late (and extremely whiny) whine --

Offspring was headed out to spend some time with friends yesterday -- she'd worked 6 days in a row and was ready for some fun time. I asked her how late she would be -- she said she didn't know, but not too late. Her actual words were: "Not like 3 in the morning or anything..." So, as I got ready for bed last night, I started to get a little anxious as it was already 12:45 and she wasn't home yet. I texted her, and no answer. Finally, she responds, and I tell her that it is now 1:00am, and she needs to be getting home. No answer again. Finally, I say that it is 1:15am, and she needs to come home NOW.

Now, I don't think she was doing anything wrong, but the facts are that there is nothing to do in this town at 1:15am. Nothing savory, at least. Turns out that the'd gone to see a movie and then hung out in the parking lot, talking. I told her that a darkened parking lot in front of a deserted building off of the beaten path is not really a place you want to be. It's just not safe. Sure, she wasn't doing anything wrong, but that doesn't stop OTHER people who ARE doing something wrong from intersecting with her.

I'm just worried about her, and frankly a little hurt, that I don't matter enough for her to at least think about texting or calling to let me know how she is. I told her that I thought it was selfish of her. So, now, I'm a bitch as well as a control freak. (She didn't SAY that, but I know that's what she thinks.)

I also told her that all my life, I've known I wasn't good enough. I wasn't a boy, or someone who liked sports, so my father ignored me. He never told me that he loved me. I have a genius IQ, but because I can't do math, I'm not smart enough to my father. He can't understand why the child of an engineer can't do math. My mother told me that she loved me, but in the same breath, she told me "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose some weight." So, I wasn't good enough there, either.

I told Offspring that I tell her that I love her and that I'm proud of her all the time -- just as she is -- because I never wanted her to feel like I did, growing up. I DO love her, and I AM proud of her, just the way she is. I just wish she was as proud of me, or told me that she loved me, for just who I am.

Excuse the self-pity party. Just feeling a little fragile right now. Sorry.

kathy a. said...

((( KLee ))) This time -- between childhood and adult independence, but especially between graduation and the chick flying off to college -- is fraught emotionally, on all sides. I think there is a whole process of building a new adult relationship between parent and child, and that is often not so smooth.

When she is staying with you, I think it is reasonable to get enough information to not worry. She should do that for her future roommates, too. It's courtesy.

And at the same time, from the parental end -- there is this process of letting go, letting your new adult be responsible. Which is so different from earlier times. It can be terrifying! And painful -- what with our own deep issues. And still, it has to be done.

Sending love and patience. xoxo

esperanza said...

KLee, summer after my senior year, before I went off to college, was hands down the WORST summer ever, before or since. So hard negotiating the changing relationships. Hugs.

esperanza said...

Please inform the Universe that I have about had it with bad news. First, the fireplacing cancer death last week. Next, a fireplacing cancer diagnosis in Pillar of the Church (and a good guy). Now, valedictorian of the local high school killed in a head on, 70 mph collision with a tractor trailer last night. Enough.

kathy a. said...

((( Esperanza ))) With you. Enough.

The HS valedictorian death, that is pretty much the greatest fear of parents [like KLee] everywhere. xoxo

No jinx pact, right? The zoo interview went well! Knocking wood, waving garlic. 100 applications; 3 interviews granted. It just happens to be exactly what daughter was doing at a volunteer job, down to the specific software. And this is a job where "fostering kittens" is a plus on the resume. ;)

Andy said...

I love my mom more than anything, but she is not taking my divorce well. I am getting thrice-weekly calls about how sad it is, and how she knows people who have worked back from the brink of divorce, and why would she do this anyway, etc etc and on and on. Not. Helping.

kathy a. said...

That's your mom's stuff, Andy. Not yours, even if you have to listen to it. (Which, actually -- you don't have to listen every time she calls. "Thanks, Mom. I'm sad too. Sorry I have to run -- have X to do!")

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Kathy is right: your mom's feelings are her own, and are not your responsibility. Andy, I'm sorry that you're dealing with this lack of support, on top of everything else. (But I recall that your dad has been helpful, right?)

(((esperanza))) What a nightmare. Enough.

KLee, I remember too well being the recently-graduated honour student, clashing with my mom because I wanted freedom and it was silly to worry about me. (As if being a smart kid kept me from danger!) I came around, and see now how hard that was on Mom. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this now.

Kathy: crossing everything for Daughter.

Whiny whine: siiiiiick. All three of us have suddenly come down with sore throats. We're quite the miserable household.

AW: this sickness got us out of Required Fun this evening. And I took part of the kale-brussel sprout salad that I made for the potluck and sautéed it in bacon, because I make good life choices.

Sue said...

Crossed appendages kathy for daughter kathy!!

(((KLee))))

((((esperanza))))

Andy - for eat advice from kathy...keep the calls short.

kathy a. said...

A person really shouldn't eat my advice, unless maybe it is sauteed in bacon. ;)

esperanza said...

ooh, the zoo interview sounds good!

QWP, y'all have had too much sick! But getting out of Required Fun (my goodness, but that's a wonderful description. I know just what you mean) is a good thing. And you can't go wrong with sauteeing in bacon.

Andy, sorry your mom is taking it out on you.

Andy said...

Kathy, is the zookeeper very fond of rum? Perhaps a bribe would help your daughter.

KLee, my post-graduation summer was pretty easy, but I was child number 4, and the most independent of us too, so I was already a foot and a half out the door. Also, Mom and I didn't really see eye-to-eye on much at the time, so a period of separation was very good for us both, I think.

Hey now, everyone go easy on Required Fun. Most of my job consists of planning Required Fun.

Liz said...

Hugs to all.

Liz said...

Klee, I know it's not the the specific love you want today, but I love you for who you are.

kathy a. said...

What Liz said, KLee.

That invite ended up taking forever. Not used to the format. Fretting over language and design. Ordering matching hard-copy cards, for those w/o email. Wait wait waiting for my beloved to come look at it, since he is really the host.

I do not think my sweetie has ever done invitations in his life. I am totally in charge of things like that, holiday cards, reservations, etc.

esperanza said...

I don't say this often enough:

I love all of you. Don't know what I would do without you.

KLee said...

Thanks, guys. I appreciate all the love. And, God knows -- I could have it so much worse. I'm very grateful that, as stressful as all this is, that this is ALL I have to deal with right now.

Andy, my heart goes out to you. Divorce is never easy. I'm so sorry that you're hurting. I wish there was something I could say that would help.

kathy a. said...

Esperanza, love you back.

kathy a. said...

Um, obviously the awards aren't happening yet.

Andy said...

AW: Big huge announcement: The Annual Fireworks 5K will be held in Richmond, IN on Saturday, June 28, featuring a special guest starter: Indiana's fourth most famous celebrity, Jared From Subway!

Jared From Subway!

That is all. You may return to your regularly scheduled whining.

Sue said...

Jared!!!!!

((((QWP))) too many sickies in your house.

Right back at you esperanza!

AW: good family visit with my dad and step-mom tonight.

W: I will be scarred for the remainder of my life after seeing the underwear on their clothesline. One of them is wearing leopard pattern *eew* bikinis. We don't know which of them it is. Don't want to know actually.

AW: it made for a hilarious ride home with my sisters.