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Monday, January 13, 2014

The Kitchen is Closed This Week

Yep, you read that right. I outdid myself in the kitchen last week, both in quantity and quality, and now I'm tired of cooking. There are still some leftovers. The freezer is stocked. I'll make mac & cheese from box (last week, it would have been from scratch. Not the noodles though). But nothing fancy.

And I am really, really, really tired of washing dishes. Cooking makes dirty dishes, perhaps you weren't aware of that?

What's happening with you, pixies? Traveling, cooking, doctor appointmenting, parenting, pet parenting? Surely something whine-worthy. Spill the beans! (but not in my kitchen. I'm not cooking them, nor cleaning them up.)

110 comments:

Liz said...

You are HILARIOUS.

Liz said...

Wait...wait...did you just say something about washing dishes? Didn't they ever fix your dishwasher or get you a new one?

kathy a. said...

Gah, the dishes! Good for you, Esperanza. I'm going with a crock-pot chicken pozole -- precut onions, chicken, hominy, canned chile peppers and verde sauce. One messy pot, but it can store the leftovers also.

AW: Daughter got an interview with a fine arts museum!!!! Dream job.

W: Think I have to take senior diva cat back to the vet. Her face is even more swollen than before the tooth extraction a few weeks ago. Worried that the vet was right about cancer-ish cells. She's still acting like a diva and eating like a horse, but resting a lot.

esperanza said...

oh, the dishwasher is working fine. I just used lots of large pots and pans that wouldn't fit. I'm slightly compulsive about having the kitchen clean before I go to bed, and if they won't fit, then I wash by hand.

pozole sounds really good. Remind me of that next week.

Hooray for interviews! And best wishes for diva cat.

Liz said...

Esperanza, whew. I was about to ride out with my cluestick.

kathy a. said...

Beloved, after daughter made pancakes: "why can't she wash a dirty pan and use that, instead of making another pan dirty?"

This, from a man who left two dirty pans on the stove last night, waiting on the Dish Fairy. Now there are 3 dirty pans on the stove, and I guess I will cave sooner or later.

Liz said...

Kathy, don't you dare. You are not the Dish Fairy. You have a huge dealio coming up and you've never mentioned that either of the people you live with are lacking the ability to wash their dishes (and pots and pans).

kathy a. said...

I was thinking litter box duty and various errands might be righteously inflicted.

Liz said...

Yes.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been here in FOREVER! I sincerely apologize for my lack of participation!

I've missed you guys!

Liz reminded me that WW is still a place that we can let go of our troubles and worries, so here I go.

As most of you know, I am a Girl Scout. A leader, a believer, and a mother. I have been a leader now for 13 years. I have been in charge of my Unit, which comprises 25 troops in my area for 3 years now. I have a troop of first and second graders, and I have a troop of eleventh and twelfth graders, or which Offspring is a part.

I recently came under fire from one of my Unit leaders for being "mean." I was called mean because I had to send out a very specific email to leaders that we had had parents who were participating in the Christmas Parade who were drinking. I had to make sure that all leaders knew that this was not appropriate, and is NEVER appropriate at a Girl Scout function.

Then, to compound that, several leaders have been submitting reports that parts of our monthly meetings are "a waste of time." These go to my immediate "supervisors", and needless to say, don't make me look good.

Tonight is the first meeting since both of these things have happened, and I am LETTING THEM HAVE IT WITH BOTH BARRELS! I am so freaking tired of doing all this work and being kicked in the teeth.

*big breath out*

Thank you for letting me vent.
KLee

kathy a. said...

Klee! Hugs, that sounds rough.

A downside to supervising a bunch of different people/groups is that you sometimes have to tell people "that's not appropriate." I assume you can point to policies and reasons why a bunch of drunk parents in a Christmas parade is a bad idea. Not the time or place. And even if people called you mean (which sounds personal), reminding people of the policy is just part of your job. You all want the girls to be safe and to have good examples, and for the organization to not look bad.

Is it possible to have a discussion about the parts of the meetings that people are complaining about? Can any of them be trimmed or handled in a different way? On the one hand, everybody needs to be informed; but on the other hand, a lot have suffered through long meetings at work already. Maybe there is a solution?

xoxo

kathy a. said...

Also, go Offspring! There must be an awful lot going on this year with her. xoxo

Liz said...

And are the same people who are complaining about the meetings the ones who were drinking? Perhaps if they actually PAID ATTENTION to the meetings they would have known not to be drinking at a Girl Scout activity?

And really, drinking in the Christmas Parade? Have they never seen the opening of A Miracle on 34th Street?

kathy a. said...

p.s. -- also, the Posse would like to cluestick the jerks.

Sue said...

KLee!!!!

Sorry to hear about the jerk parents. Blast away with both barrels! The posse is on the way for an epic clue sticking.

Kathy, sorry to hear about diva cat. It's good she is still being her diva self even with a swollen face. I'm thinking if she can keep up the attitude she must not have too much pain.

esperanza said...

KLee, great to see you here again! Sorry about the "adults."

Anonymous said...

KLee!!!!!!!
Welcome back!!!!!!!!!
:)
Neighbor Lady

Miranda said...

KLee!!! I have been wondering how you are doing and if you are still doing the GS thing. I quit my post about four years ago because I couldn't do it any longer and maintain sanity. Also, dealing with some of the parents was such a massive soul killer for me.

Kathy A - Your housemates need some Remedial Kitchen Fairy Training for sure.

Liz - I wish you were with me when I am blindsided by poor manners. I honestly ask myself WWLD at times. :)

Esperanza - I have so been there on the closed kitchen.

AW: Mordor was good today. It was only a half day and the Orc leadership and minionship was basically working from home.

W: They are in tomorrow.

AW: I have training in a different building for most of the day but I will be around just long enough to let people know I am here.

AW: Someone outside my group wants to make special time to talk while I am in town this week. This person is in a position to do things I want done. I am cautiously optimistic that I may be able to get resolution to items that give me pause in my career (Have I shared my work issues? I have them. Maybe that is all I should say.)

W/AW: The Offspring are not entirely on their own this time. My friend, of whom they have a healthy fear, is checking on them while I am out. She was a huge help when I had the hysterectomy two years ago and my family was ... not in a place to be supportive.

AW: I love the hotel I am staying at. Automated espresso/cappuccino machine, snacks, a concierge, friends who join me for lunch/dinner. It's as close as I'm getting to a solo vacation for several years.

Sue said...

Good luck in Mordor today Miranda! If any of the Orcs start looking at you as if you are the main course for dinner, just walk away. There's no negotiating with Orcs. Usually. :)

Yay for your friend checking in on the kids while you're away. I'm sure it makes your Almost Solo Vacay even more of a treat (though the cappuccino machine pretty much sealed that).

AW: Our national church office has enlisted a meditation specialist to help clergy fit in times of quietness and peace. Today is the launch. I got into the first group! We start at noon by creating a calm place (phone turned off, candle lit, low light, comfy chair or yoga mat) and logging in to the web site. Then we have a 45 minute guided meditation.

I'm looking forward to it!

Liz said...

Sue, that is terrific!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Sue, that sounds nice. Miranda's hotel room sounds very nice as well. (I also snickered about "There's no negotiating with Orcs.")

KLee: I hope the GS meeting went well, and that you really let them have it. I'm seriously gobsmacked by how inappropriate all of that behaviour is from the adults. (I was involved in the Canadian version for a long time, and I can't even imagine having adults drinking at a kids' event, much less turning around and saying someone was "mean" for speaking out against it! Whaaat.)

W: motivation low, thoughts in a jumble, stayed up too late last night, and deadline quickly approaching.

AW: my best friend is flying home for the funeral on Thursday, and will stay on my couch for a couple of nights. A bit of a bright spot, in all of this mess.

kathy a. said...

KLee -- how'd it go?

Miranda, yay for the hotel, and the people who like you, and the fearsome friend checking on things back home. ;)

Sue, your parent organization sounds so humane!

((( QWP ))) It will be good to be with your friend. The rest will sort itself out. xoxox

Sue said...

kathy - mostly the organization is humane, but it is the church, therefore it occasionally eats its young. I take the bright spots like today gladly and try to stay out of the political fray when it gets ugly.

(((QWP)) It's good that you and your friend can be together for such a difficult time.

esperanza said...

Yay, Sue. That sounds impressive. (And 'twould be surprising around here).

QWP, glad you can be with your friend.

Miranda, I'm trying to remind myself that you're on a work trip, and it's not really a solo vacation. Otherwise, I start to get jealous.

In the Merchandise Department, a whine and an antiwhine.
AW first: I have some hiking sandals. They are coming apart. They were pricy (and a gift). I check out the website and---a *lifetime* warranty. All I have to do is send them in, they fix them and pay return shipping. A deal! (Poor company has to specify that the shoes must be clean and dry when you send them. People are so rude).

W: Since I'm on a roll, I decide to investigate selling some excess china (Christmas china). 4 cups and saucers. I get the "offer to purchase" email today. Twenty cents for each cup/saucer set. AND I have to pay shipping. Um...no, thanks. Guess I'll be keeping those.

kathy a. said...

Yay for the warranty! We should definitely have a WW yard sale...

I don't normally complain so much about my beloved, who is a good man and lovely human -- and also the precursor to this W is the AW that he got the bathroom sink draining again last weekend. But then he put the drain chemicals under the sink -- right in front of the spare toilet paper. I mean....

esperanza said...

Mine would have left them on the counter. Just saying it could be worse.

Sue said...

Hooray for the warranty!

20 cents?? And you pay shipping - sheesh - people have some nerve.

kathy a - I get how that would be annoying. But, at least the drain works...

AW: I like to eat oranges. They are sweet and healthy for snacking.

W: Oranges are so darn messy! Today I ended up covered in juice just from peeling the darn thing. Once I started to actually EAT said orange, it was kind of pathetic. (Note: I could use a bib for office snacks)

kathy a. said...

Caustic chemicals! Toilet paper! Bad shelfmates!! I have a very active imagination about contamination issues, and insults to private parts of my personal anatomy.

A dignified bib to Sue, stat.

Liz said...

Hello, Aunt Flo!

31 days since last appearance. My spreadsheet says that's the 2nd highest interval since September 1, 2012. Up to and including that day, I got my period every 30 days like clockwork (I brought pads to Worldcon! I knew I was going to get it!) But ever since, it has ranged from 15 days to 34 days. Mean, median, and mode are 23 days, but that doesn't mean I'm regular. Come on, Menopause! I'm waitin' for ya, buddy!

kathy a. said...

There there, Liz. Much sympathy. All I can offer is that the blessed menopause arrives in her own damn time.

W: Another fireplacing school shooting. They happen so often that it is hardly news any more.

AW: Oklahoma! Ban on same sex marriage unconstitutional!

kathy a. said...

Passing the choc chip cookies that daughter just baked. Since she was in the kitchen, she's also loading the dishwasher -- it's a miracle!

Miranda said...

AW: If I get the package I am waiting for, I can eat a nice dinner.

W: I'm waiting for the front desk to bring it up and they are not in any big rush. Apparently.

Anonymous said...

It gets better. It may be lost. It's a replacement credit card.

- Miranda

kathy a. said...

AAAAACCCCKKKKKK! Miranda, that truly sucks.

Any friends who will lend you dinner?

Anonymous said...

I can eat a crappy dinner but not a nice dinner. Just FIREPLACE IT ALL.

-Miranda

Anonymous said...

I want a nice dinner. I deserve a nice dinner. I avoided orcs today.

- Miranda

kathy a. said...

((( Miranda ))) You won against the orcs! xoxo

How long are you at mothership-town? Will they get you a fireplacing new card tomorrow?

Sue said...

My sympathies Liz. It gets better...eventually. Aunt Flo, the relative who doesn't know when to leave.

Miranda - aw double rats!!! Is there a 24 hr help line for the shipping company that lost the card? If you can track it, at least you will know what's going on. Boo!

Good work with the orcs!

Anonymous said...

The card was located although it's too late for a nice dinner so it's not bad dinner at the pub next to the hotel. With a girlie drink. I have one more day in Mordor. One of the generally less odious orcs wants my time tomorrow on top of another person. I also need to work with an employee. Furthermore, I have 4 hours of boss training. It's going to be an interesting afternoon.

-Miranda

esperanza said...

Whew. Glad the card was found, sorry your dinner was delayed. "Generally less odious" is...um...hilarious. And in the "damned with faint praise" category, no?

Liz said...

I think Miranda has already won the week for whines and anti-whines that are comprehensive, varied, and well-phrased.

Sue said...

Yes, Miranda for the win! Glad the card was located. At least the delayed dinner included a girlie drink. Yay!

esperanza said...

I'm not sure if this is a whine or not. Went to a new dentist today (I *love* changing insurance providers and thus networks. Really. That part is definitely a whine). I got praised, repeatedly, for taking good care of my teeth, and "I can tell you floss." Pixies, here is the truth: I brush my teeth twice a day, which I assume most people do. I floss maybe once a month when I have something stuck between my teeth. All this undeserved praise made me squirm.

kathy a. said...

Esperanza, as a dental consumer who once got a lot of low-cost fix-up care at the teaching clinic for dental students ("look at this bombed out mouth", the professor said to all the hovering students, who were about my age), I take all compliments from all dental professionals in the best light. And then I eat a chocolate donut.

kathy a. said...

It isn't even 2 p.m. here, but 7 hours into the work day and I am totally fried. Big important and also emotional thing this morning. Big-ass confusion-riddled time-sensitive thing regarding my Good Albatross, kinda resolved, but who really knows? Cat to vet in an hour. Conference call in 3 hours -- I ought to be a hoot by then.

Anonymous said...

W: for neighbor girl. Time for Ralph to saddle up!
Neighbor Girl did an awesome job on a project for school. Teacher posted it, along with some other examples, on a bulletin board outside the room. A girl told Neighbor Girl at the end of school that something of hers was on the floor. When she went to look, it turned out that what was on the floor was her project, ripped up. (On purpose. part was left stapled to the bulletin board, and the rest was apparently evenly ripped into quarters).

AW: Teachers were awesome in supporting Neighbor Girl in tears. One taped it back together and is going to make a color copy so she has a complete one without tape.

W: Still fireplacing stinks. Why would someone do that? Do I need to worry about her safety in general? She has no idea who might have done it or why, and is generally (as far as I can tell) in a group of non-drama girls. Hopefully was random, and that's what they told her--that it probably wasn't personal. But that's totally what I would have said as a teacher even when I believed it wasn't. (and then I would look into it)

Hope they get to the bottom of it at the school, or at least stay alert about what is going on.

Fireplace it!

--Neighbor Lady

p.s. sorry to bring the tween drama, I know many of you are dealing with much bigger things....

Anonymous said...

AW: I am not going to school tomorrow. Have to fast for a physical that can only be scheduled during the day, so sick day for me. I am so so happy.

W: It's a little sad that I am so happy about fasting for a physical. It's been a long hard year at school so far.

AW: Friday we are halfway done with the year.

W: I think with the combo of no exercise and high stress I have gained 10 pounds since the beginning of the school year. I am not one to really obsess about the scale but this just fireplacing stinks.

Sorry for being so so so so whiny. I could really go on, but I love you all too much to subject you to more. Thanks for providing this place to vent.

--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

((( NL ))) Danged right, Ralph and the posse are going to make the rounds. Those stupid little jerks! I'm sorry this year has been rough, but think you are probably going to be the teacher they remember. Glad you have a day off tomorrow, even if it is (ick) for fasting and testing. xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Thanks Kathy a. I needed that. Your comment literally brought tears to my eyes (in a good way!). I hope I'll be the teacher they remember-hopefully for good reasons! haha!
And thanks for sending Ralph for Neighbor Girl so quickly! :)
(at least NG and I aren't at the same school--I couldn't be civil if those were kids I was teaching)
--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Whine all you need, NL, that's why we call it "Wednesday Whining." Sorry you and NG are having a rough time.

Ralph is on 24-7 call with 5 minutes' notice. Be glad you don't have his job.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

The posse is ready to ride with Ralph! My heart hurts for NG; I know it can be a rough age with awful kids, and it's doubly bad when bullying takes the form of destroying something you worked hard on.

And hugs for you, NL. Your doing a good job, and that will make such a difference for these kids, in the long run. I know how stressful the first year of science teaching is, and it will get better. All this prep you're doing now is making future years easier.

W: You guys! The wind is crazy! 100km/h windstorm that is shaking my whole apartment. I'm a little stressed out that it will affect my best friend's flight tonight.

Sue said...

Sorry about the stressful day kathy. Thinking of you and diva cat .

((((NL)))) those little jerks! How awful to hurt NG like that. Ralph is on the way with an extra-powerful cluestick!

I hope your fasting tests go well tomorrow. It's okay to enjoy a day of respite, even a medically necessary one. You're doing a great job - and you're half way there! Hang in there and whine any time you want/need to.

QWP - I hope your friend is able to land. That's some wind!

Anonymous said...

Thanks to all for the welcome back! I have sorely missed WW, and I didn't know how much I needed this outlet. I feel guilty at having been away so long!

Meeting went well, for the most part. I did not let them have it with both barrels, but that would not have been constructive in any case. I did say that I thought it was "cowardly" to hide behind email, but that anyone who has bothered to get to know me knows "mean" is not an term usually associated with me.

Meeting anti-whine -- I had a good friend come as moral support. It was a surprise, but very welcome.

Colossal whine -- Offspring turned 18 last week. Yes, you all read that right, and no, it wasn't a typo -- eighteen! How in hell did this happen!?!?!? Well, I mean...I *know* how it happened.... but WHO allowed her to become 18? She was just in third grade a few years ago!

Equally colossal anti-whine -- Offspring applied to her Dream School (first choice) for college. She put in for Early Decision, and we found out the day before Christmas that she was accepted! Now, we have to see how much they will give us in grants, scholarships, and aid. She's up for their highest award, called the Brown Fellowship, which will pay for absolutely EVERYTHING, which includes study abroad.

Offspring will graduate number 11(as of right now...we hope that number gets smaller!)in her class of 214 on May 23rd. She is in the top %7 of her class, and I could not be prouder of her. I am such a proud Mama.

Whine, but of an Angsty-Mama nature -- Dream School is in Kentucky. Which, by car, is 8 and 1/2 hours away.

Further whine -- I have no money to fly there.

All in all, though -- we are very blessed. I just pray we somehow find the money for college. Or, better yet, she gets enough through grants and scholarshps and aid to go. I CANNOT break her heart by not being able to afford it.

KLee

kathy a. said...

Yay, KLee! Glad the meeting went reasonably well, and excellent that your friend came for moral support!

Congrats to Offspring! Fingers crossed about the financial support, but it sounds like a great place for her. And you will be able to visit just often enough. Insider tip: USPS flat rate boxes for those care packages. Sending the FAFSA fairy and some pixie dust. xoxo

Anonymous said...

YAY for your daughter KLee!
And, good thoughts for your friend, QWP!
Also, I just love you guys and WW.

--Neighbor Lady
p.s. NG says, "Go, Ralph!"

kathy a. said...

QWP -- enough with the wind already! xoxo

esperanza said...

Hooray for Offspring! That is wonderful news. Hoping for oodles of financial aid of the good variety.

W: Mini. Is she milking her last few days of being a 3 year old? Or is this what 4 is going to be like? I thought 4 was supposed to be better. Wah.

AW: Needing to be super strict and uber-following-through with Mini has made a believer out of Sweet. She has done exactly what I ask, the first time I ask it. Not her usual modus operandi.

kathy a. said...

Sweet is stepping up and modeling how it is done.

esperanza said...

Let's hope so. I'm afraid she's probably the role model Mini is following right now, with her own little twist, of course.

AW: I should also report that Sweet is making incredible progress on writing and other fine motor/OT skills. We are ever more certain that we made the right decision in delaying kindergarten. And I am reasonably confident that she really will be (or is already) ready for kinder in the fall. That means she's only about half a year behind, which is totally manageable.

Anonymous said...

Yay Sweet!!!
:) Neighbor Lady

Miranda said...

Naughty AW: I am ever so proud that my drinks last night were paid via a "too big to fail" bank expense account. I don't think I ever been in a situation like that before. Yes, I lead a somewhat sheltered life.

AW: I am home with only minor incident.

W: I got some additional information about the driver of the orcish odiosity. It was not at all what I expected but it made every other concern understandable yet even worse than I could imagine.

AW: It is good to know that others see that there are problems that can be solved for the betterment of all.

esperanza said...

Hmm, Miranda. Glad you'r home and that the situation is somewhat more understandable.

Old Skool Whine: aluminum foil paper cut. Don't snicker. They hurt way worse than paper paper cuts. I had to get a band-aid, which leads to a Baboo Interrogation.

kathy a. said...

Odious Orcs, the backstory. Miranda truly wins. And there seems to be a movement to contain the badness, so that's to the good.

Baboo interrogation is a winner in my book, too.

ccw said...

Liz, I didn't realize that WW was still happening either. Thanks for telling KLee because I loved having this outlet for serious and silly whines.

KLee, I love you. I'm sorry the parents are being asshats.

kathy a. said...

CCW! What's going on??? xoxo

KLee said...

I vote for Esperanza -- tinfoil paper cuts ARE way worse than regular paper cuts.

CCW! I'm so glad to see you! Even though we Facebook, there's nothing like a party at the WW! Hope all is well in your corner of the world! I saw a video earlier today about Jason Brown, a 19 year old figure skater who totally rocked his routine. I thought of NSBH, and think maybe that will be her one day! Well, minus the male parts and all.... :)

Yes, there are some asshats, but most of my troop parents are really good!

KLee

Liz said...

Yay!!! CCW!!! We're getting the band back together!!!!!

Sue said...

KLee, I'm so glad the meeting went as well as it did. You are amazing! Congrats on Offspring's acceptance into Dream college. I hope the financial piece gets sorted out soon.

I'm glad you're home safe and sound Miranda!

esperanza, OUCH!!! Baboo Interrogation gets an award for sure.

CCW!! Welcome back to the pixie ball where girly drinks are served and Ralph the Cluestick Bearer is always at the ready to take care of odious orcs. What's new with you?

Andy said...

Is it WW Reunion Day? I was checking my Twitter feed, and who should pop up in my news but Black, Dick, whose name I still cannot utter without chuckling immaturely, so I had to come here, as WW has long been my favorite source for local politics in Northern Virginia. It appears my favorite UnGoogleable state senator has a new cause: legalizing spousal rape! Liz, you folks in Louden County are nutty. My representatives are the garden variety boring evil Republican types.

My whine: My building at work has a lot of wonderful classrooms and activity areas for the patients to go to. Currently one is flooded and the rest are unheated, thanks to a pipe that burst during the deep freeze last week. I have been attempting to entertain two units full of gravely disabled mental patients with a severe case of cabin fever for a week and a half with no access to any of my usual space or fun stuff. Bah. Luckily, my scintillating personality carries me through more often than not.

Anti-whine: Seriously, my job is to entertain and do fun things with well-intentioned mentally ill patients. Can't really complain about that too much.

kathy a. said...

ANDY!! It is WW reunion day. Um, your job (the work of angels) is currently the suckiest place on earth, in my opinion, what with the flooding and no heat. You, however, sound like a hero to me. xoxo

Liz said...

Andy!!! Yes, I live in Dick Black's senate district, and also the congressional district he's running for. And I will do my bestest to ensure we don't inflict him on the nation.

Andy said...

I appreciate that, Liz. If there's one thing I do not need more of in my life, it's Black, Dick.

esperanza said...

Wow!Such a week! CCW! And Andy! And KLee! It's a big party for sure!

Andy, you are doing good work. Sorry about the challenges this week.

Sue said...

Andy! Such a great week here at the pixie party!

Flooding and no heat are definitely whine-worthy.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Welcome back, ccw and Andy! Flooding and no heat is more than whine-worthy. You need all the awards for working in those conditions.

AW: My best friend is here. I'm focusing on how nice it is to have her here, and not the fact we're going a funeral this afternoon.

W: someone please make me disengage from this conversation I'm having on the Book of Faces. A friend linked to a click-baity article about big families bring superior, and a bunch of friends were all "Her arguments make so much sense!" And I'm just not having it today. (Uh, at least the writer clarified that not ALL only children are weird and selfish?) Her argument for big families being cheaper involved the statement/implication that small families drive fancy cars instead, and they're kids wear new clothes.

Taking it too personally, and reflecting too much on the fact that I have no choice to give E a sibling.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Being, not "bring."

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Ugh. "Their," not "they're." My new keyboard app has too many autocorrect errors.

Sue said...

(((QWP))) I'm glad you and your friend can be together today. I'm so sorry about the insensitive book of faces conversation. Such generalizations are not only untrue, but hurtful.

Liz said...

I hate with the incandenscence of a thousand suns the trope that parents of only children are a) selfish and b) doing horrible things to their children by not giving them siblings and c) are always parents of singletons by choice.

Because even when we are parents of singletons by choice, the choice is often driven by a desire to not over-burden the planet - which is certainly not a selfish choice.

Dear God almighty. Aren't there enough problems in the world without policing peoples FAMILY SIZES???

GAHHHHH!!

esperanza said...

What Liz said. Especially those sentences with all caps.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back CCW and Andy!
Yay!
And I second (or third) the all caps sentiment, Liz.
((QWP))

By a coincidence, today was portfolio day at NG's school, so I went and eyeballed the kids. The Mama Bear was starting to come out, but luckily Neighbor Guy is a good bear wrangler.
:)

But, was glad to have the chance to thank NG's teachers in person for how they helped her yesterday. Also, could tell from the conversation and tone and subtle teachery messages that they are looking into it and watching out for her.

Also: Andy--I could not do your job. You are a hero.

--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

((( QWP )))

Why is it that so many people seem to not only have an opinion about family planning, but one they want to impose on everyone else?

Whether; when; how many; whether there are medical issues (do tell so they can pontificate) or personal choices (ibid.); whether having a career or only one or only two or whatever is "selfish"; blah blah blah.

Ralph is ticked.

Liz said...

The truth is, there is no fireplacing family size that doesn't get policed disapprovingly.

Got no kids? SELFISH! YOU MUST PROCREATE!

Infertile? SELFISH! NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! ADOPT! FERTILITY CLINIC! RELAX!

Singleton? SELFISH! S/HE NEEDS A SIBLING!

Two boys? TRY FOR A GIRL!

Two girls? TRY FOR A BOY!

One of each? This might be the only time people aren't yelling at you, please chime in with your experiences.

Three kids or more? OUTNUMBERED! BREEDER! WOW YOU GOT A LOT A KIDS. WOW I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE RELIGIOUS! HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF BIRTH CONTROL? THEY KNOW WHAT CAUSES THAT YOU KNOW.

Fireplace all that. People just need to keep their noses to themselves.




Liz said...

Jinx Kathy! But you said it better and more succinctly.

kathy a. said...

NL -- kudos to those teachers!

kathy a. said...

LOL, Liz! I've got the answer to one boy, one girl: WHEN ARE YOU HAVING ANOTHER? Also, WOW THEY ARE TOO CLOSE IN AGE! And, ARE YOU SURE THEY ARE RELATED? THEY DON'T LOOK ALIKE. Also crap related to my career, which took really a lot of time when they were young (but I never slept and their dad did more of the hands-on in those times, so there).

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I think some people are just so d@mn insecure about their own choices that the only way they feel better is to nitpick or opine about other peoples' choices.
Fireplace that!
now I feel better.
--Neighbor Lady

Liz said...

NL, I'm so happy the teachers have your daughter's back.

W: I need to find a way to appreciate the work I do for pay, that goes beyond the pay. Because it pays well, and I'm the sole regular earner in my family. I need to not jeopardize my job by getting distracted by the shiny objects of work I find more fulfilling.

Sue said...

NL - what others have said - I'm glad you were able to connect with the teachers who have NL's back.

I'm ready to carry a flaming torch behind Liz and her capital letters. Seriously - so well said - and so fireplacing frustrating, all of it.

The other one that frosts my socks - when people immediately start asking newly wedded couples when they plan on having children. I heard this question asked during the speeches at a wedding - one of many reasons for my utter contempt re: wedding speeches.

Sue said...

Sorry about the paid work challenge Liz. Do you have performance reviews? Sometimes a quick glance at the most positive feedback in a review is a good reminder that you're doing well and your effort is appreciated.

Liz said...

We do, and I will in March, but I'm not sure it's gonna be all that positive.

kathy a. said...

Liz, when I was in that position exactly, it helped me to focus on helping other people at the workplace, propping them up with whatever i could. Kept a candy jar; listened; offered to help with about anything; even had a voodoo doll with large pins and a pen to add ailments (not totally kosher, but you would not believe how it relieves office stress). Did not hurt my reviews in the least; did help me be better, and laid the groundwork for some solid friendships.

ymmv. One might not get away with a discrete voodoo doll in some workplaces.

Liz said...

Thanks!

kathy a. said...

This week seems too long already. Passing a glass of beverage and some mindless reruns. Beloved is bringing pizza soon.

esperanza said...

Thank you, kathy! It sounds like you've been burning the midnight oil. Pizza sounds better than the leftovers from last week we reheated.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

You guys, I really appreciate the comebacks about the family size nonsense. I was able to express what put me off about the article, particularly from the perspective of someone who can't have more than one (and isn't thrilled with talk about bigger families being superior), and as someone with one child who isn't affording expensive stuff because of it. And my friends were great about it, and it started a good conversation. (I also learned that another friend of mine has been medically advised against having any more kids.)

AW: while the funeral was really emotional and draining, it was also really good. And I reconnected with some old profs (we're going to get together for tea), and had a wonderful supper with extended family members. E was in heaven at supper time, surrounded by a big group of people who love her.

KLee said...

I only have the one child. We didn't plan to only have one, but we never consciously planned to NOT have any more. It just sort of worked out that way. I feel we poured so much love and attention into Offspring that we had no real need for another. JF always wanted a girl, and I wanted a healthy, beautiful baby, so we both got what we wanted first time out of the gate. Usually, at this point, Offspring would make a Total Snarky Teenager Remark (patent pending to all teenagers, everywhere) about why messing with perfection.

At any rate, when people ask when (if) I'm having another, I usually ask them when the delivery of their Miss Manners pamphlet arrives. If they get it, it shuts them up. If they don't, well, I don't usually stick around to explain it.

Andy said...

I try to keep my serious, more unfortunate whines bottled up for the most part, but I will say that getting "When are you having kids???" questions when your wife is in such bad health that it will probably never happen, and when there has been such a strain on trust in the marriage that the chemistry is all off anymore on top of it is the absolute worst.

esperanza said...

Aw, Andy, whine away, serious or no. That's what we're here for. I'm sorry people ask such crappy questions and I'm sorry the answer is so difficult all around.

kathy a. said...

((( Andy )))

Liz said...

(((Andy))) Illness and trust issues are the absolute worst. And nosy-parkers are the dung beetle cherry on that dog-pook cake.

kathy a. said...

liz for mullet, for that last sentence.

Sue said...

(((Andy))) Whine away - illness and trust are miserable issues.

Definitely Liz for mullet.

Liz said...

TMI W: Remember my whine from Tuesday? She's still visiting and now I've got a nosebleed.

AW: At least I've got a matching set, right?

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh, Liz! So, your nose decided to add to the blood loss?

(((Andy))) I don't know when everyone else decided that bringing up these questions was ever appropriate. I'm sorry that it's an extra layer of awful for you.

kathy a. said...

all you need is a papercut, for the trifecta.

Miranda said...

FB is a strange place. The wasband's cousin, whom I've never met in person, is like super supportive of my struggles and is totally giving me dating advice? A prospective something or other is active on the thread. Mostly, it's all cool with lots of good friends but occasionally the intersectionality of different groups of friends kind of freaks me out.

Miranda said...

((Andy)) people really suck sometimes. My ex and I behaved very civilly in public once we realized we weren't staying together so people thought that meant we resolved our issues. We did, but not in the way they thought which made announcing my separation super painful. "But it seemed like you guys were getting along." Barf.

Sue said...

Oh Liz, nosebleeds are awful. Not what you needed today.

New lexicon addition - "wasband"

esperanza said...

Awards tomorrow, pixies. Keep whining if you have some...