Monday, January 14, 2013

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Whining

AW: fantastic weekend at the youth conference, keynotes went well, I had my very own private room and took care of myself reasonably well.

W: the amount of flu germs floating around that place was mind-boggling

W: returned home to a sick Mini. I'm extremely suspicious that *she* also has the flu. Yes, we got the (only 60% effective this year) vaccine. Fever up to 103, chills, exhaustion, stuffed up head.

So....surely someone else in this house will get the flu in the next few days. What to do? I sent Sweet to school this morning, and Mini is very sad she has to stay home.

Also, W: allergies


liz said...

yikes! No flu! NO FLU!

Here, however, is some good advice from Richard Thompson.

kathy a. said...

glad the youth conference went well! and that they sent the sick ones home. crossing fingers that mini's illness is over fast, and that it does not fell everybody.

brr, it's cold!

kathy a. said...

W: remember my SILfH, who has early dementia + mental illness, and will eventually be evicted since she is not paying her mortgage? very weird call: "i heard mom's dying, and i don't care, but [my husband] has to go over there and get my car back and my money." then a strange threat: "if he doesn't, i have a gardener who can go over there and get it."

OK, then. her mother is not dying; SIL can't remember where she "heard" that. after repeated license suspensions + arrests, she signed over title to her car. we live a couple hours away; her brother is not driving out there to shake down his elderly mother, on behalf of a mentally unfit person. (i kind of doubt the gardener is up for grand theft charges, either.)

anyway, the calls have been ramping up. not just from her! her first ex and her mother also have strong (and conflicting!) opinions about things we should do, and none of these is a viable option.

this is purely a rant. but when she gets arrested or evicted, there may be some leverage to get her some services and a real evaluation -- things she will not do voluntarily.

liz said...


Anonymous said...

W: Neighbor Boy sick--either flu or strep. Probably the first.
W: Don't feel so great myself, but fighting it ,.... fighting it....
aw: flu shots, so hopefully mild?


AW warm weather, which if it werent due warming and all, would be awesome...

--Neighbor Lady

Anonymous said...

Also, many virtual non-contagious hugs for esperanza and mini.


esperanza said...

Ugh, NL, I feel you. Mini is considerably improved. No fever since midnight. Resisted bedtime mightily, which I assume is a good sign. Her head is still stuffy. So maybe vaccine=mild version. She had two days of feeling bad and one day of minor trouble.

I have a fierce headache, but I think it's sinus/allergy related. I'm sure it is. Quite positive, really. Yes, indeedy.

kathy a. said...

ack! passing the hand sanitizer, clean towels, both boxes and travel-packs of tissues, comfort food, ice cream, and a jug of whatever. xoxo

kathy a. said...

i know ice cream is not generally high on the medical list of what to do, but chocolate mint chip is the best thing for all that ails one. alternate with hot soup. although one of the other kathys in the blogiverse thinks that jalepenos are the ticket, especially for those sinus things.

Sue said...

Oh my! Sending virus-free hugs to all of the flu-stricken, an ice pack for the headache, and lots of chocolate mint chip, especially for kathy (so sorry to hear about the continued struggles).

The article I wrote for our denominational magazine is about why I haven't been shaking hands at the door after worship since September. We bow respectfully instead - namaste! Sooooo many people have thanked me for putting that into place.

W: My MIL is still sick. It's been a month of the flu for her and she is not bouncing back to good health at all. No pneumonia, which is good, but still a worry.

AW: I now have all of the book club books and I'm enjoying the first one a lot!

kathy a. said...

yay, sue! not passing germies is good.

i'm so sorry about your MIL. good it's not pneumonia, but still... xoxox

AW of Victory! c0mc@ast finally fixed my glitch with email from this one list-serve! it turned out, as expected, that the email was going to some super-secret idiosyncratic spam filter, deep in their servers.

on the cooking front, i'm continuing to try making food with things that i have not much used before. today's experiment includes saved broth, various sauteed vegetables + spices, and some chicken meatballs, all in the crockpot. and today's challenge was kale. dang, but those leaves can get big!

esperanza said...

kathy a, it must be kale day. I'm eating some leftover Italian sausage-white bean-kale soup that is a bit heavy on the kale. I made it, so I can say that. Yours sounds good, and I find the crockpot daunting.

kathy a. said...

white beans! that's what it needed, and somehow i have some canned ones, so they can blend in the next couple hours.

ze crockpot belongs in the wonderful inventions pantheon. anything that needs simmering does fine -- soups, stews, pot roast, bean dishes -- and essentially no supervision is needed, so long as liquid is in the pot.

debangel said...

J'aime ze crockpot! It makes ze very chi chi soups! ;-) Also, steel-cut oatmeal is a breeze to make overnight, and makes the house smell sooo good!

Whine: Am still owie from the surgical scraping. Nothing untoward or awful, just profoundly annoying, and if it's not gone by Friday, they're going to have the doc check me out. 'Cause poking around in there is gonna make it hurt less?? I think I'll tell my ob/gyn that if I'm not ok by Saturday night when James gets home from his business trip, she has to pinch-hit for me ;) Heck, I might even get my co-pay back ;-)

Antiwhine: the "I Will Listen and Offer Expert Advice And Sympathy on Any Weird Topic Of Your Choice" award again goes to our Liz, who listens to my embarrassing problems and still hasn't unfriended me on Facebook.

Whine: Arianna has been acting out and has obviously seen an argument/altercation between her father and his girlfriend, and it sounds like something physical went on. NOT surprisingly, of course. (to the GF, who it seems he "pushed", not to Ari. I'd be writing this from jail if he hurt Ari, which believe it or not, I don't think he would.)

Antiwhine: I calmed down before emailing him, and called friends who had experience with small children and social services who convinced to tell him before I called CPS. That shows good co-parenting, since I have no proof, and didn't blame him: I simply stated her words and behavior, and said that it was obvious that she'd experienced something that stressed her out, and what he did with that information was in his court. Apparently, if you go to CPS first, they brand you as a "complainer", and then the abuser gets to just hide their behavior better. Anyway, I now have a written email trail of what he will do about it, or not do about it, which will help my case more than if I'd gotten overly emotional.

You guys, I think I'm doing better at this. At the very least, I'm not letting him get to me. It's all your fault, Pixies :-)

liz said...


AW: Debangel doesn't mind asking me to overshare. I'm a blogger. I LOVE TO OVERSHARE.

W: Frustrated with my supervisor, who is -- I am NOT kidding about this -- the most disorganized person I've ever worked for. Short Attention Span Theatre has nothing on him.
This amazingly phenomenal piece of work is lucky if he remembers what day it is.
I can't begin to tell you how many times he's forgotten to call into a meeting that HE scheduled a half-hour before.
He leaves whole SECTIONS out of requirements documents. That we rely on to create development plans. And test plans. Which means that whole components have been left out of releases. But "2 months is too long to test".

No it ain't. Not if you're the one doing the analysis, bub.

kathy a. said...

oh, debangel. hugs to you and your babygirl. xoxo

you are keeping logs of everything, right? i think it is also smart to be talking it out, and avoiding any instant reaction that might be misinterpreted. and i hope you are also talking to your lawyer about these concerns, as well as the other crap.

ari is so very young! i'm sure there is stress just with the going back and forth; stuff she does not understand happening at the other place does not help. and, she does not yet have the words to fully express herself.

i wonder if it might be helpful to consult a child psychologist? a good one might help in at least a couple of ways -- first, to give you tips on how to support your girl; and also, the the therapy might give arianna some coping tools. (i'm not thinking long-term therapy, and i think the only appropriate focus is on how to best help ari.)

with young kids, psychologists use play therapy. they talk to the parent a good bit. and at least in my experience, there was a specific goal about helping the kid cope better. (long story, but we did this with my son at age 6, when he was stressed; and it helped.)

kathy a. said...

oy, liz. wow. i mean, that definitely sounds "talk to HR" worthy, because, wow. although, that way be dragons, and etc.

play therapy can't hurt, either. ;)

Sue said...

((debangel)) (((Ari)))

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending virtual hugs.

Liz - how awful!!! Definitely an HR matter - I wonder if there is a specific cognition issue there. To forget a meeting only a half hour later... that doesn't sound right at all. Has this behaviour worsened, or is this just how he's always been?

liz said...

I've only worked here four months, so I don't know. Seems from what others have said that he's been like this as long as they've known him.

It's not an HR issue, because no one's gonna hold it against ME, and it's clear that the deficiencies go back to his original doc.

kathy a. said...

liz, it is hard to be useful, but seems a problem for the company if stuff is being "released" and necessary pre-release stuff has not been done... not just a morale problem + inefficiency problem.

passing the garlic bread with cheese, or its gluten-free alternatives.

kathy a. said...

oh, uck. i have not had an earache in like a million years. but i think i've got one.

Anonymous said...

(((Kathy a's ear)))

AW: Neighbor boy's fever finally stayed down today--having started on Sunday. Maybe, maybe, knock wood, he can go back to school tomorrow. Maybe? (did I mention knocking wood?)

--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Knocking wood for you, NL.
I had a mysterious earache while on vacation that went away by itself after about 4 days. Beats me.

W: why is Mini's birthday so close to Christmas? I have no ideas for gifts.

liz said...

Esperanza, how old is Mini again?

(((Kathy A's ear)))

W: I am up too late.

AW: Because I was asked to submit a specially-formatted, specific-content-containing resume for a job that, if I get it, will pay 6 figures.

God, I hope I get it.

debangel said...

Mini is turning three, right? Three words: Melissa and Doug! I got Arianna a wooden birthday cake set for her play kitchen, and she adores it! (I feel your holiday pain- Ari is a NYE baby!) For Christmas, we got her a magnetic "paper doll" kit by the same company..all wooden dolls and clothes you can dress them with. Hope this helps!

Liz, I hope you get it, too!!

liz said...

I second Melissa and Doug, but I also put in a vote for dress-up clothes.

Or a sturdy backpack (you can get them on sale at this time of the year) with coloring books, magic markers or crayons, some board books that she can "read" herself, and/or a few Fisher Price Little People (those last two you could probably get second hand). She'll feel so grown up to have her own activity to take along in the car or at Sweet's appointments, or to Mr. Taco.

liz said...

I'm thinking cheap because I'm certainly NOT earning 6 figures at the moment. And I'm the sole breadwinner. And the pinch is being felt.

esperanza said...

Yep, turning three. Deb--we've got both of those M&D items already! You have good taste.

Also, if she could decide "dog" or "cat" for her birthday cake, it would be helpful pretty soon. Every time I ask her, it's something different (Baby Jesus, Grover, dinosaur, blanket--hey, that would be easy), but dog and cat have been repeats.

liz said...

Grover is easy. Do Grover.

Round cake pan. Blue frosting. Pink cookie nose. Oreo eyes. Red licorice mouth. Done.

liz said...

His head is perfectly round when his mouth is closed.

kathy a. said...

knocking wood, NL!

crossing fingers, liz! (that would solve the bad boss problem, too, wouldn't it?)

happy birthday, mini! i'd go with dog *and* cat, although grover would be pretty darned cute. around ages 3-5, we got things from a montessori catalog -- kid-sized skill-building items + activities. lego/duplo? puzzles? art project supplies -- like beads to string, or stickers, etc.

debangel said...

I second Liz's vote for dress-up clothes, then! From personal experience, though, if you're going to pick up a few "princess dress??", as Ari likes to call them swing by Home Depot on the way home to get a crowbar, to help pry her out of them at bedtime. I'd say WD-40 but it would stain the fabric ;) Seriously, though, it's an awesome idea, and you could just pick up some fancy party-type dresses and shoes at a thrift store, and if you get them in bigger sizes, she can wear them over her clothes.

I love the idea of the Grover cake, too! I don't think I could slice a cake with the baby Jesus on it. I can't even bite into an Easter bunny.

debangel said...

Kathy, you know that there are three kinds of pain, right? Chronic, acute, and stepping on a Lego in the dark ;-)

kathy a. said...

yes, i know. my son had -- still has, at our house -- one of the world's larger private lego collections. we had strictness about cleaning up after legos.

i forgot how wildly expensive some of the montessori things are. we bought littler stuff, like broom/dustpan, kid-size bucket, kitchen implements -- but at a quick online glance, there do not seem to be a lot of those in the catalogs.

Sue said...

knocking on wood NL!

Happy Birthday Mini!!

All of the cakes sound amazing!

The three kinds of pain made me laugh out loud. So. True!! The very thought of those tiny pieces nestling into the soft arch of the foot in the wee hours of the morning makes me cringe.

W: Remember that boundaries training that I had to do in October? I traveled about 2000 km at a cost of roughly $450 because it was "mandatory" and there were no workshops anywhere near where I live.

At the time I was told that NO online option was being considered and if I didn't go to a workshop my professional standing would be in jeopardy.

**sound of other shoe dropping**

Today - on the Presbytery web-site - an online program in two parts with many calendar choices each month through to the summer. All this at a cost of only $50! But, if you pay early, they'll take another $10 off! The only thing missing is the carnie-salesperson yelling at you from the screen!!

I feel like such a chump. A fool. I shouldn't have let that awful personnel woman for the Presbytery bully me like that.


AW: I'm trying really hard to remember the good things that have happened this week - a great study group yesterday, a powerful visit with a parishioner - that's why I stay when things get this stupid.

On the other hand, I would happily get on the next plane to Cuba. We have direct flights from here!

kathy a. said...

yay for the good things, sue!

but, how could they do that to you, about the training? gah. cluesticks, which the posse does not normally consider for an outfit called "presbytery."

but it reminds me of an A/W: got my continuing education specialty credits done online! (but these were really lame courses, and expensive. not nearly as good as seeing my people at conferences.)

esperanza said...

W: Sweet is the next flu victim. Really, who arranges these incubation periods? I thought we were clear.

General announcement: a presbytery (or portions thereof) is almost always needing a cluesticking.

Sue said...

Oh no!! Poor Sweet. Poor esperanza!!! Sending non-infectious hugs.

yay kathy on your con-ed!!!

Yes - when you look up the word "cluestick" in a dictionary, a picture of a presbytery should be there right next to it as the Best Possible Example of Those Needing a Cluestick!!!!

I need chocolate. Seriously. Stat.

esperanza said...

Chocolate for Sue!!

Mini has the flu--I'm moderately worried (though, actually, I was out of town and didn't know anything about it). Sweet has the flu--all those dire warnings when she was a preemie come flooding back. Off to the pediatrician this afternoon to see what he says. Mini was fine in 3 days; hopefully Sweet will be too.

liz said...

Sue, I would print out any email you have that confirms that they said online options would not be available and demand that the presbytery reimburse you for the funds you were compelled to pay through their coersion.

They owe you $410.

kathy a. said...

((( esperanza ))) fingers crossed. you can't really let go of the preemie worries entirely -- my baby (preemie) sister is now in her late 40's, and ear problems were a lingering concern for her. but i hope hope hope that sweet just has the regular bug that is going around. which, too, will pass. xoxox

esperanza said...

My Google medical degree has failed me, thank goodness. Negative flu test, so it's just a yucky cold. However, what I had been calling "labored or heavy breathing" is definitely from her chest. Back to the nebulizer.

liz said...

Glad it's not the flu, but boo to the neb.

kathy a. said...

nebulizers are good. when a person needs them. xoxo

Sue said...

Glad it's not the flu, but how awful for Mini.

Liz - I printed out everything I had before I left the office today. Two out of seven emails state it plainly, another hints at it. The first says that we "can not count on an online option" for the program. The second says "As of January 2103 this workshop will be a part of seminary training only and will not be available by distance study or online."

They are so busted.

Yes, they owe my church for the costs incurred.

AW: hubby made wonderful comfort food for dinner. Gluten-free macaroni and cheese "royale" - with fresh tomatoes and peppers. I lubs him.

kathy a. said...

mmm, mac+cheese...

what kind of gluten-free pasta do you use?

kathy a. said...

somebody called me (personally) "reprehensible" on the local internet news thing. because i used that same word to describe the horrible NRA ad. i know better than to respond to troll tactics, but personal name-calling makes me feel v. unhappy.

so, chocolate chip cookies for everybody, and i'm going to go watch TV.

Miranda said...

I made a giant batch of broccoli cheddar soup this weekend. My children won't eat it although my boss said it was wonderful. I like it too. My cheese guy wants some as well.

The whole incident with the cheese guy at the farmers market is probably why I need to adopt another cat and embrace my inner spinster. I am no good at figuring out flirtatious intent.

I really don't want to go to work because while edicts do not come from the Presbytery, it sounds like the same clowns are in charge.

Liz - I want to hear all about the interview! I am super excited for you!!

esperanza and NL - germ free hugs to you both.

esperanza - My son has a late Nov birthday. My daughter has an early Feb birthday. My other son is mid October. Present buying has always been difficult. My daughter loved dress up, art supplies, and tutus at that age. I second the thrift store suggestion. We still have her dress up because I can't bring myself to give it away.

Kathy A - xoxoxoxoxoxo

Sue - Add me to Cluestick Posse.

Miranda said...

Oh, I want a shiny medal for valiantly surviving this week.

liz said...

Found out last night that I got through another hurdle on that possible job.

According to the contractor I'm working with, the customer really liked what I had to say about customer relations (basically, that making the customer happy is a function of ensuring that they feel listened to and respected, which can help limit feature creep).
I KNEW my BS in Psychology would come in handy someday.

kathy a. said...

medal for miranda! may i have some soup, please?

yay, liz! i didn't actually know your major, but you are a superstar at respectful listening. obviously, some members of the posse feel that is *essential* to customer relations, seeing how we get so very cranky when that does not happen. they'd be fools not to hire you.

Sue said...

Big shiny medal for Miranda!!

Way to go Liz! To the pixies, it is perfectly logical that customers respond to active listening and respect. Isn't it kind of sad that it's become a bit of a novelty?

Anyway, they would be crazy not to give you the job. Fingers and toes crossed.

liz said...

Thanks everybody!!