Sliding into September

Was your summer too long, or did it fly by incredibly fast? I'm wondering where mine went. Except for a couple of meltingly hot days, we had a lot of overcast and cold. The nice weather seems to have just arrived.

AW: An old friend just brought by 4 tickets to a major league baseball game, a gift to my son and his friends. Son is beside himself with this unexpected good fortune!

W: There's nothing like a friend dropping by to make one realize one's multiple housekeeping deficiencies.

AW: Daughter is home a couple more weeks, before heading off to the U again. She had a good visit with her grandma, is taking some saxophone lessons with her old teacher, is getting ready for school and the First Apartment.

W: She just slept through her dental appointment.

Unbloggable whines on the work front. I'm compensating with some extra sewing and reading for entertainment, which doesn't solve those problems but is emotional comfort food.

How are things for you?

Menu: Awards Dinner

And on the menu for this evening, ladies and gents...awards!

Appetizer Course
Old Skool Award for Miranda's pajama work day that was nearly thwarted by the, you know, work left at the office.

Soup/Salad Course
Girl Scout Award to kathy a., for the duct tape and tablecloth solution to the picnic relocation.

Main Course
Done with Summer Award for all those suffering with heat and especially those without air conditioning.

Side Dishes
Teeny Tiny Furniture Still Takes Up Space, and so Does Paperwork Award to KLee.
Pants Shopping is Just One Step Above Bra Shopping Award to Madeleine and Snuggly Girl.
Take Advantage of Me? Take This! Award (and a hearty Welcome Back!) to the ever-stylish YT.
Sour Grapes Award to amy for Jerkboy's penny pinching with the donations.
Email Pontificating is Easy to Delete Award for Nonny's ongoing family drama.

Dessert Courses (because why shouldn't there be more than one dessert course? Who makes these rules?)
Mullet Award to Miranda for "Team InNOOOOvation"
Hugs to all 17 year olds, all who have 17 year olds, all who will be 17 year olds, and all who ever have been 17 year olds
And a Cherry on Top to Neighbor Lady for the latebreaking JOB!!!! antiwhine!

Additional hugs to all pixies, just for good measure, especially those whose whines I missed.

Party Whine at the Whine Party

Teh Weeks of Parties begin at the Esperanza household. And our introverted heroine is already weary, just thinking of Teh Parties. She has not yet recovered from Teh Family Visit, and now with the parties.

First up: Mini Baboo gets baptized on Sunday. Family (of the helpful variety) arrives Friday and Saturday. Invited for Sunday Dinner: 11 people, plus Sweet Baboo. Including Mr. E's "boss" who will do the baptism. Menu: Chicken Fajitas, beans, guacamole, salsa, etc. And Cheesecake Pie for dessert.

Next up: Mr. E turns 40 the next Sunday. Big party, previously whined about here, I believe. We're planning for 150 guests at an Open House. Menu: darned if I know. The giganto cake is ordered, but that's all I've really figured out. I'm open for suggestions, but I have some requirements: finger food, can require cooking but must be able to be served cold/room temp, and not fussy (like requiring individual assembly).

Maybe I will recover before Sweet Baboo turns 3 (!) on October 1.

The Whine Party is open, but you have to plan your own menu. Sorry, the hostess is already partied out.

Awards! (Better Late than Never Edition)

Kathy A. wins the Lexicographer-in-Chief award for "Pookcidents". That there is a keeper.

KLee wins the Remembering What It's All About Award - with Oh No You Didn't clusters. We are sending out scalding hot beverages for you to hold over JF's valuables. Since he's already shown himself to be unimpressed by cluesticks.

The Cluestick Posse is going to be quite busy this week, heading out to A. Nonny Moose's relative and to Dr. Jerkface and Dr. Supervisor for making an already awful situation worse for Sue.

Best Whine/Antiwhine combo goes to Days for

AW: Lovely couple.
W: Dry wedding.

Days, we're sending you hugs and love, I hope that your energy returns and that things go well for you.

The What Does It Take award goes to our prodigal whiner, Scrivener, I really hope that you can get someone to type in their fireplacing password before the end of the fiscal year.

Elevated Risk of Mullet goes to Emily for

"Toddler Years 2--Adolescence: This Time It's Personal!"

Honorable mention goes to everyone who has lost loved bunnies, dealt with jealousy, forgotten a massage appointment, and otherwise had crappy stuff happen this week.

See you all in a few days when our host will be Esperanza!!

It's a Long, Hot Summer

This has been in my head for the last two weeks, though I like the original by Christine Lavin better, the video of her singing it live has a long rambling intro.



The A/C in my car is busted and has been for over a year. It's $800 to fix it and the car itself isn't worth much more than that. So I'm waiting out the Summer, and hoping that I don't collapse, Elphaba like, into a puddle of sweat before the cooler days of Autumn arrive.

I'd still rather be sweaty than freezing and I prefer my un-air-conditioned car to the meat-locker temperatures they keep the office building where I work at.

So I keep a sweater at my desk and wear skirts and sandals.

How are you braving the heat?

Frozen Awards with Festive Little Paper Umbrellas

It's been one of those weeks, eh? So without further ado, on to the ceremony.

The Wardrobe Malfunction Award goes to Liz, who managed a trifecta: berry splatter on cream top; a bra failure so spectacular that duct tape was the recommended quick fix; and critical button poppage on today's blouse!

Liz also sweeps the Style Category with her work of genius, "I want a new bra." Brava!

Esperanza spun the Wheel of Fortune when her cellphone was accidentally soaked in an ice water incident, and ~click click click~ yay! The cellphone miraculously recovered! Bonus Stars for the associated antiwhine: that it was so darned hot, she didn't really mind being doused in ice water.

Positive Role Model Award to Jenevieve, who so impressed a teenager when she was tending to a porcine emergency that he wants to be a vet, just like her! We're so proud.

Would You Care to Rephrase That? Award to Esperanza, who was twice called "cute" in a professional capacity. Note to the Universe: "cute" is not a compliment outside the Theme Park Cartoon Character profession. Would you congratulate another person in Esperanza's profession for being "a major stud-muffin?" We did not think so.

This week's Meeting of Doom Award goes to the intrepid KLee, who apparently survived the festivities and therefore gets two (2) paper umbrellas.

Old Skool Award to Days, for her classic whine: "My kids are full of I'm bored and it's too hot and there's nothing to do, and s/he's bugging me, and gimme gimme gimme etc, ad nauseum and it's driving me up the walls." I'm sure she is not the only one looking forward to the start of school. Runner-up is Emily, who managed to put coffee grounds in the water part of the coffee maker, then had to clean it out without benefit of that much-needed first cup of coffee.

The Delicate Condition Award goes to Sarah on the occasion of a yeast infection, and profound wishes that the new meds clear things up.

A hearty Welcome Back to Madeleine, returned from travels and now dealing with all the stuff that people snuck onto her desk while she was away.

Go, Amy, Go Award to (you guessed it) Amy, who has raised the funds, done the practice miles, and is setting out on her breast cancer walk tomorrow! This award includes spare good sox, moleskin pads for any incipient blisters, and a supply of little paper umbrellas to tape to the side of all the water bottles. :)

Much love to Days, and the Cluestick Posse will be visiting the Powers That Be for a little tutorial in "deciding important stuff in a timely manner, so people do not need to keep worrying about that, too."

The worldwide band of Pixies is all set for the Cluesticking of the Week, a MAJOR event earned by Sue's jerkass of a doctor. Because, you know, a colonoscopy and its prep are not stressful and humiliating enough, so he also: administered an entirely different procedure on the upper end, of which she was not informed in advance; informed her of a bleeding ulcer in terms that blamed her; refused to understand that she meant it when the pain relief was not enough; rolled his eyes at her; conducted biopsies that seriously hurt because she really was not getting appropriate anesthesia; and just generally had the bedside manner of a kid who tears the wings off butterflies for fun. The only part of the entire ordeal that was vaguely amusing was when Sue's cat got jello on its nose, and in our unanimous opinion, that wasn't funny enough to make the rest tolerable.

Thanks to all for thoughts on my daughter and her adventures.

See you next week! Same bat-time, same bat-channel.

Beach Party!

I need some beach music. 'Tis the season, right? Of course, the only surfing I've done (besides body surfing as a wee thing) is on ye olde intertubes. And the weather at my place has been foggy and cold for weeks -- no worries, I'm happy to share!

But anyway, I'm making a quilt for my friend, and other friends sent fabric -- and for the record, 3 aloha shirts plus a batik summer dress (plus plus plus) go a long way toward making a person long for some beach days, even if the person has bathing suit issues and burns to a crisp in record time.

My big antiwhine is, of course, that daughter came home from a year abroad yesterday! Her sleep schedule is pretty messed up; so far we see a little of her here and there, but in case of emergency, we might actually be able to do something when she is on the same continent. The cats are very curious about how her luggage smells, which makes me wonder what all is in there. Time will tell.

In whines, I am hopelessly distracted and not exactly cranking the work.

What's shakin' out your way?

The, "Oh, Crap -- is it Friday already?!?" Awards Edition

Sorry for the lateness of the Awards -- time crept up on me this week and Friday was pretty much over before I realized that I'd neglected to post them.

Miranda gets some sort of Glutton For Punishment Award for camping out of doors, and in tents no less, with teenagers. I shiver a little just thinking about it!

Amy gets a newly-minted "A Teacher's Work is Never Done" award for not only having to read poorly written and plagiarized papers, but having to grade them and turn them back into students as well. Kids think it's tough that they have these projects due, but they never consider that the teacher probably has 30 of them (at the least) to read, critique, and redistribute. A good reason to consider a career switch to kindergarten, Amy -- my homework is usually "Practice your spelling words by writing them 3 times each." Spelling is usually 5 words a week. Not a lot of room for plagiarism there, either.

Esperanza gets a Big Girl Panties award for potty-training the Sweet Baboo. May her panties be forever dry, and pook stay only in the potty! Toilet training, in my experience, has either been completely effortless -- as in, the child one day decides, I'm ready, and does it on their own; or as in the case of Offspring, headache inducing. The headaches resulted from my banging my head against the wall in frustration, and then mixing a cocktail to forget about how abysmally potty training was going. I hope Esperanza is headed for the former version, and not the latter.

Kathy A. gets an honorable mention in the Bodily Fluids category for the cat pook on the laptop. Ew. Thank god it was closed, and disaster was averted, but still. That's NOT the gift you want, and certainly when it's the gift that keeps on giving. Bleargh!

Neighbor Lady gets a Free Pass to the Front of the Line for any and all future ER visits. If they give you any crap about it, we'll just cluestick them into needing their own services! Hope NB is fully recovered from tonsil surgery, and NG has recovered from strenuous gymnastics camp. I discovered a product at either CVS or Walgreen's called "peas" that helps my tendonitis quite a bit. Along the lines of your frozen squash, they discovered that small frozen particles that can wrap around an injury are more effective for pain management -- it's an ice pack full of gel beads that will freeze and refreeze, but will still be pliable and moldable around an arm or leg. If her pain persists, I would look into one. I love mine -- it has come in so handy for many injuries since I bought it.

A "Finally!" Award to Sue who lasted long enough to reach her vacation! And through the Month of DOOOOM, too! Here's hoping that nothing disturbs your tranquility and you remain pain free. Both of the headache kind of pain, and the pushy parishioner kind of pain!

Liz gets the "Sexy Grandma" Award for her retro outfit! Liz, I'm sure that you looked GREAT, and if you looked in any way, shape, or form like a Grandma in your poly cotton blends, then you were the sexiest damn grandma there ever was! Put down them candied yams, Grandma, and crawl all over me!

Happy Birthday to the best vet we know -- Jeni! We all wish you hugs, kisses, big birthday wishes, and easy on-call days! I'm sorry that you haven't had any more fuss made over you, but just remember that we love you at WW, and we know you rock the catbox in the best kind of way possible! You are a rockstar, girl, and don't forget it!

By popular demand, Days wins the ever-coveted Mullet award for her kids and their collective groove-thang shakin' to the Snoozak played over the tech support call line. You KNOW you have great kids when they can get joy out of an hour-long tech support call!

Thanks to everyone who chimed in, and those who I'm forgetting! Everyone is a winner here at the whiner's ball! Oh, wait....maybe that should be that everyone is a WHINER here at the winner's ball....Oh, hell! I give up! It's just too damn hot (still!) to think straight!

Dog Days Of Summer

I don't know about the rest of you pixies, but here in my lovely little slice of the country -- it's hot. REAL hot. And not just your average, garden-variety hot, either. Not only triple-digit hot, but the "we're warning you to stay indoors" kind of hot. Saturday was 103 in actual temperature and reached 113 with the heat index.

There's the old saying in the South that ladies don't sweat, they "glisten." I'm here to call bull on that! I'm sweating like the devil in church! And, sweating is uncomfortable because you end up having to peel yourself out of the sheets in the morning, and that's not a way to make Mama happy first thing in the morning, let me tell you.

All of this extreme heat and humidity like so thick like trying to breathe in honey has left me feeling decidedly inactive. No one really wants to expend any energy when there's a chance that you could spontaneously combust, do they? Summers are generally lazy around Casa KLee, what with the "no work, no school" thing, but this heat is making me even lazier, if such a thing were actually possible. I mean, how hot does it have to be for you to decide that you don't even want to check the internet because you'd have to move your mouse hand?

So that's my whine this week -- colossal heatwave. What about the rest of you?