So, several years ago I was a youth minister. And I went on lots and lots of trips with the youth group. These trips had various hardships (cold showers, sleep on the floor, hot weather, baloney sandwiches, etc) and annoyances (turns out someone else's little brother is just as obnoxious as your own). Left to their own devices, the charming young people could get into a whining competition that had no end.
So I made a rule.
The rule stated: only one whine per day per person. Whines may not be saved, traded, or sold (this last sentence was an amendment after such activity did, in fact, take place).
This worked well for several trips; in fact, I got well known for "one whine per day." Before a person whined, he or she had to make sure it was worth spending a whole day's worth of whines. "No whining" would have not been practical, and besides, I would be likely to break that rule myself. You didn't want to spend your one whine on "but it's so eearrrllyy" when I tried to wake you up, because that would be it for the day.
I was pretty proud of myself, pixies.
And then God laughed, and I have a two year old.
Thankfully, I don't make the rules for Wednesday Whining. Let 'em rip.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
52 comments:
AW: It worked! My first blog post ever, and it worked! Woo hoo!
excellent post! great story!
~~ applause ~~
Yay for esperanza's first post!
I love that rule, but it would not currently work in my house either. If I could get my 6 year old down to one whine per hour, I'd be very happy. *very* happy.
Nice rule!!!!
I think it's something that would work on a more limited time period even for a two-year-old, like "okay, you've asked in a whiny voice, can you ask again in a nice voice? I don't want to hear the whiny voice again for then next X minutes".
I have NO whines this week (so far). My boss is on vacation. My co-workers, who I love, are here.
Life is good.
W/AW: worked all weekend, but got a lot accomplished. it's like a miracle after the recent productivity drought.
AW/W: son finally finished the bike for his girlfriend! and left tools and parts all over the family room. [some things never change.]
AW: my friend's having a party to honor a wonderful but unsung hero of a colleague. the group gift is a "desk sized" pair of red cowboy boots -- she used to wear a pair to work when she was in a particularly "shit-kicking mood."
Yay esperanza!!! You rock!!
I need to say however, that I read that line "one wine per day" and I broke out in an icky sweat.
I read along saying, out loud, in my hotel room, "No, no, no, no, please no - oh the humanity!!!!" (Not that I'm a drama queen or anything of course).
How could I possibly stick to a single whine per day? I'm hard-wired to whine in a multiple fashion sister, so I was glad to read the end of your post. Good for you for keeping to the rule when it counted though. You are a much finer woman than I. No question.
Whine: Small and Olk Skool. It's warm here in headache-relief city. I had such a lovely walk yesterday afternoon. Alas, I stinketh upon return. Thank goodness for hotel showers and A/C!
Anti-whine: Today I get my head stuck with needles!!!! Yaaaaaaay!!!!! Only a few hours to go and I may report back later with a most excellent A/W. Wish me luck pixies!
Liz - yay for icky bosses on vacay.
"desk sized" = size 4T. i had no idea they made such fancy boots for toddlers! they are so darned cute. we aren't big on plaques and such. eclectic office decor is the norm amongst our people. [my own office features a singing dancing chicken, presented after completion of a huge, complicated project on an impossible deadline.]
sue, crossing fingers!
kathy - So jealous of a dancing chicken - very cool. Yesterday I bought a bobbblehead Jesus. It's my first one. I lub it.
sue for best typo: "one wine per day."
Um. I apparently started the party off on an antiwhiny note. Because except for Sue's Old Skool, I'm not hearing any whines. Ahem. Let the whining commence.
W: They are not serving crab cakes in the cafeteria this week.
AW: That's the worst work-related whine I can come up this week.
behind liz's antiwhines is some bad boss-ness, which is the whine that keeps giving....
OK, i've got one. my project from hell just re-surfaced, with its usual serving of extra angst, and just in time to collide with everything else. the report i have so far is, "i can't even read it -- lots of single-spacing and BS." that doesn't sound good.
W: my boss's boss's boss has made an appearance in my day and made a co-worker's day a living hell.
My co-worker was so excited about the thing that he was working on, and now he's just angry, sad, and completely unmotivated.
Anti-whine: I got my car back! The body shop said it would take 3 days, and it only took a day and a half!
Whine: I had to get a rental car, which wouldn't normally be a whine, but it was a Volkswagen Beetle. Now, before you all go scratching your chins, wondering why this is in the "whine" column, let me remind you that I am a six foot tall fat lady. It was like putting a sumo wrestler in a Yugo.
Additional car whineage: It, to use Sue's vernacular, stunketh. Obviously, the person who had the Beetle before smoked, so in order to kill the smell, the rental agency lobbed a Magnolia-flavored bomb into the car, slammed the door, and ran like hell. So, I drove around in a flower-scented ashtray, with my knees crammed up around my ears.
Anti-whine: But I have my car back! My beautiful, wonderful, non-stinky car!
Oops. Typo-fail. One wine per day - as if! (kidding)
Back from the headache treatment. The entire right side of my body from the top of my head to my waist feels really numb - like when you go to the dentist for a filling.
Anti-whine: NO pain. Just the numb. Yay!!!!
Yay yay yay yay yay!!!!
Just for you esperanza, I should mention that I do have two Mini-Whines from today's treatment.
1. The med student with the doctor looked like he wasn't old enough to drive. Srsly.
2. My blood pressure dropped a fair bit during the injections. The nurses and both docs were concerned. Apparently when your neck is being stuck with needles, your pulse rate and blood pressure are supposed to *increase*. My bad. I had to stay around for a little while just so I didn't, you know, fall on my face or anything.
Otherwise: It's all Anti-whines here today. Yippee!!
Here you go, esperanza. This is a whine that never goes away in my house -- I just don't share it every week for fear of becoming a broken record.
My husband will not wash kid cups. In fact, he will not even keep track of where (generally) the cups were left. This makes for some incredibly foul discoveries, usually made by nose. This is one time I long for my baby to grow up, because I dream of a home free of plastic cups.
Kashi has discontinued my very favorite granola bar (Raspberry Chocolate). It was wonderful. Picture a granola bar covered (on top) with a layer of raspberry/chocolate goodness.
They have other, similar bars, but Cranberry Walnut and Pumpkin Pecan are missing the essential ingredient (mmm-chocolate) and the Dark Chocolate Coconut is okay, but the coconut pieces tend to fall off, making a mess and I miss the raspberry goodness.
Amy - boo to unclean kiddie cups. They can get horrifically ick, if memory serves. Finding them in the couch pillows after a few weeks is quite gross as I recall...
Emily - write to the company. Who knows? Someone might read it and make a comeback of your fave flavour.
Anti-whine: Blissful 2 hour nap.
Whine: I seem to have misplaced my invitation to Chelsea's wedding. Dang.
yay, a pain-free sue!
klee -- although i am of the short persuasion, the whine of one-size-fits-all transportation is very very worthy.
amy -- it's bad enough when my beloved loses coffee mugs in his car for a while, but ick in plastic kid cups? fail.
vote also for emily, because it stinketh when something we grow to adore just disappears.
lack of chocolate is a pretty strong contender in my book. I'll take it into consideration.
Whines on the esperanza front:
This damn plantar's wart hurts. I'm using the magic stuff on it, but that just makes it hurt worse. I'm ready for it to be gone.
Sweet's enriching activities (story time, gymnastics place, etc) take their toll on Mini. She enjoys them too, but generally misses out on a nap while partaking. This leads to screamy Mini who cannot then settle down to sleep.
On a similar note, we went to a very fun wedding Saturday night (did I mention that we're both preaching Sunday morning? Saturday night weddings stinketh). Mini and Sweet had a GREAT time, too. Until we got into the car to come home, whereupon Mini proceeded to SHRIEK for the next hour and fifteen minutes, until we pulled into the driveway and I removed her from the highly offensive car seat. Overtired Mini is a force to be reckoned with.
See? I knew we could get going.
so, my beloved was gone for 4 days, and he just returned. and he, of course, immediately noticed the pook incident that i did not clean up, because it was not there earlier in the day. but seriously, the time to bring that up is not while i'm eating, OK?
AW: We had a wonderful and relaxing weekend and it was just what my kids needed.
W: I am rocking Teh Clumsiness today. I just stubbed my (fourth? index? the one beside the little one) toe quite hard. Earlier, I hit my ear off my car door and it was surprisingly painful, both physically and embarrassingly. I am flummoxed as to how I managed it.
W: I also have teh Stress and teh Anxiety covered this week and I am not sharing the X@n@x with anyone thankyouverymuch. I can't even check my work e-mail because every time I think about it, I feel ill. My doctor seems to think that Thursday will be a fine day to discuss test results and treatment options and all other sorts of things. Many thanks for the kind thoughts and crossed appendages.
Lack of chocolate is a serious problem, indeed. Luckily, I have chocolate cupcakes to spare for anyone in distress.
Yay for pain relief and happy workplaces and stick-free cars and enjoyable weddings!
((( days ))) keeping those appendages crossed, and sending hugs. the waiting to hear is a terrible time. anyone denying you any anti-stress measures whatsoever will get teh cluestick from me. it would not distress me or my pal vinnie if there was a terrible accident and all the work emails POOF! disappeared. xoxoxo
Still working on the rabbitry. I've long passed the deadline I set for myself to have it done, and am nearing the deadline I set to re-evaluate and see if we need to further reduce the number of rabbits after the first reduction was complete.
But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I solved a knotty problem today regarding an issue with the gutter system on the flush-clean slanted tray system I'm building.
But now I have rabbits sneezing. For those who aren't familiar with rabbit illnesses, the dread "snuffles" is serious, contagious, and incurable. I'm trying to find out about getting cultures done through an agricultural science program at a local university to see if that's what it is or not, but pasteurella (the really bad germ) is by far the most likely cause for the symptoms we're seeing.
My very favorite two rabbits--my recently-turned grand champion homegrown doe, and Austin, my sweet beloved buck that would be my house rabbit if I could keep only one rabbit: the one I would keep even if I had to get rid of all the rest--both have symptoms. I'm devastated. But still holding out hope at this point. Please, universe, let at least Austin be OK.
And, Esperanza . . . great story, and great job setting up the whining post. :)
Oh Days - keeping every possible appendage crossed here and sending good health thoughts your way. I'll be thinking of you on Thursday.
Whine: speaking of X@n@x - whatever you've got, I'll gladly take. It's 10:30 here - 9 hours post injection - and the lovely dentist-like numbness is wearing off. I'm trying EVERYTHING my therapist taught me about staying calm.
I've got ice on the injection site and I'm just trying to keep breathing. So far, the only pain is at the injection site and the nurse did tell me to expect a bit of that, so I shouldn't be freaking out. It doesn't help that I'm alone and terrified that any second now my right temple will do it's thing and esplode as per usual.
Anti-whine: It's nice and quiet here, aside from the thunder outside, so I think I'll just go to bed and (hopefully) wake up feeling better.
(((thinking of you Days))))
(((Days)))
Sending headache-stay-away vibes to Sue.
Ugh. I am having trouble typing. And talking. Having an excitotoxin reaction, complete with fuzzy head and wall of pain & fatigue. Should not have made the fry bread with rye (gluten is 25% glutamate), or eaten so much chocolate today. Really hope it won't last long--I can't afford to be down for a week, or even several days.
Thinking good thoughts and chanting magic incantations for Days. Oh wait, I only know "snow day" chants. Still, crossing fingers.
Yay Esperanza! I was with sue thinking, only 1 whine per day? Eeek! But brilliant idea.
Boo on the work overload for Kathy A. And the boss who makes the whole office unhappy for Liz. You would think someone higher up might notice that and care?
Sue - hoping that you are sleeping and the pain is decreasing.
Klee - glad to know you're rolling in style or at least comfort again.
Amy - the only plus to plastic cups is that they are so easy to toss. But your husband should add that to his repertoire -and buying replacements :)
Whine: Finally my 8 year old daughter saw the psychiatrist for her anxiety. We go back in 3 weeks. I guess I felt like after we waited 6 weeks to see her that she might do something, well, now. Like prescribe? Or not keep saying untreated when I described family history - as in, do I have anxiety? Sure, sometimes. "But it is untreated?" I even feel so whiny to whine this, but really, we're been to the pediatrician, the psychologist, the TMJ doctor who said he can't fix her headaches unless we treat her anxiety, and a neurologist. Throw me a bone. Don't you dare make that look like you don't believe us.
Anti-whine: my husband planned a surprise for our 12th anniversary this weekend, which I found out about because the babysitting by my mom fell through, and I am impressed he even thought of it. Even if we can't go. I better be careful or this a/w will be a whine.
Sarah, my 8-year-old with severe anxiety is now a much more happy and stable 9-year-old. I think 8 is a hard age, but also the counseling and sensory processing stuff helped for her, I think. I hope your 8-yo will find good help also.
Thanks PK for your good wishes. I'm only up late because I napped so long after a day of treatment. Still good on the pain scale though, so that's good.
Sarah - I've been through the "see this kind of specialist and then get back to me" thing as an ADULT. I can't even imagine how hard that must be for a child, or for her family who just want everything to be okay for her again. My heart goes out to all of you. You are doing all the right things - it's the system we work within that sometimes leaves us feeling like we're out here alone. Please know that the Pixies always have your back and are always available for necessary cluesticking of medical professionals of all kinds. Those cyber-cluesticks have seen me through some rough times....
{{{Days}}}
Sarah - depending on the length of the babysitting required, we are in town and potentially available. Happy Anniversary, btw!
Hugs to Days--waiting is not easy!
Hugs to PK, and here's keeping fingers crossed for the bunnies and that you feel better soon.
Hugs to all those with boss woes, and work woes!
Sarah at ratatat--fingers crossed for your daughter--I do think 8 is a hard age, or at least an anxious age--or maybe that's just what I'm telling myself about my 8yo....Here's hoping nine is better for everyone!
whine/antiwhine: Neighbor Boy (6) just had his tonsils and adenoids out yesterday....amazing how even a simple surgery can be stressful and exhausting. The antiwhine is that he was awesome, and came through beautifully so far. The whine is how stressed he was yesterday morning--when he is anxious, he doesn't talk much, and yesterday was pretty quiet.
Now, he is back to his normal self pretty much, and totally enjoying the idea of ice cream-at-every-meal-and-in-between that he got from watching the Brady Bunch episode about tonsils. Eventually, we'll have to get some actual nutrition into him I guess, but for now, he's enjoying his ice cream and movies.
--Neighbor Lady
I swear I left a comment this morning. What happened to it?
It said something to the effect of Days: a big mountain of peace to you. And--I have so done the hit my ear with the car door thing. It hurts like crazy. Ouch.
this morning, i found myself going on and on about end of life decisions, using my mom as an example. my conscious brain doesn't remember some details as well as the subconscious; 2 years ago was between her death and the memorial. not the first time i've been blindsided emotionally like that, either. sigh.
hugs to everyone! at this very time 2 years ago, my sisters, daughter and i were buying "orange food" for our hotel room -- cheezey snack bags, mini pizzas, stuffed potato skins, etc. so, i'll pass some virtuals to all who could use a little soothing, unhealthy junk food. to every thing, there is a season.
um, i didn't mean to break WW. as an alternative to orange food, how 'bout ice cream? xoxo
I'll take orange foods and ice cream, but not at the same time. I am not a fan of teh Orange Sherbet. (No offense to those who love it. More for you.)
My walking team and I had a bowling fundraiser last week. I tried to get them to cancel it based on the RSVPs, but they wouldn't hear it. They said we had "soooooo many maybes -- they're bound to show up. What then?" Well, who was right? amy. amy was right. We had precisely three people who were neither team members or parents of team members show up, one of which was a friend who drove 3 hours one way. We totally should have canceled.
What's more irritating is that one of my teammates decided halfway through her bowling games that since the event was an abject failure, she wanted a refund. She thought she shouldn't have to pay full price if no one showed. Ugh. I paid full price for me and for my daughter. I think she should have too. (The difference, btw, was $10.)
But it's over, so at least there's that, right? I have a second whine this week, and it's maybe not even a whine. My friend LC (who drove 3 hours) told me some things after bowling that are weighing heavy on my heart. He was a sailor on the Navy ship at the time my brother died in a training accident. He finally told me his story of the day, and one thing I learned is that (in a nutshell) in the hours following the accident, he did something I think he should not have done -- basically, he was told to do something illegal, and he did it because he was "following orders." It is something I knew had happened on the ship; I have just never met any of the sailors who actually took part in it.
I am mad and sad, but I'm not really mad. I mean, I am mad at what he did, but I'm not mad at him. Or I am. I can't even tell. I'm not even sure he realizes how wrong it was, and I think that is the most hurty piece. Blech.
(((amy))) how awful. I'm really sorry you have to wrestle with all of that.
Bring on the ice cream and make mine a double.
Anti-whine: holidays start in three (count 'em) three days.
Whine: Small mountain of work to catch up on before Sunday, not the least of which is a visit to Mr. Biggest Curmudgeon in best of times, but Super Ridiculous Crabby Old Man now that he's sick. Also, a matriarch of our church has been admitted while I was away.
I can go six, seven months without ANYONE in hospital. Now I have two that will notice that I don't visit them next week when my vacay starts (regardless of how many times I explain that I won't be there) and will do some serious bitching about it to whomever has ears to hear.
Some days ya just can't win. I have someone covering for me, but that isn't going to matter. If either person gets really sick - end of vacay. Just like that. I wait an entire freaking year for vacation and all someone has to say is "Thanks for coming, but I *really* need to see Sue" and all the firewall phone messages in the world aren't going to help.
I wish for all the world that I could just disappear for four weeks. Any magic pixie invisibility dust to spare?
Oh Sue - invisibility dust would be so handy. Or a trip to Timbuktu or some other place with bad cell reception. Happy Vacation! Hope it is good.
Amy - what crappy news from your friend. And bah humbug on the low turnout at your bowling event.
Good to hear (I guess) that we are not alone with 8 being an anxious age. I hope 9 is better.
Happy Recovery to Neighbor Boy!
PK - hope the bunnies have some garden variety illness and not a devastating one.
Thanks for JenR for the babysitting offer. That's really sweet. I think you're off the hook, I'll confirm though.
KathyA - sorry for those emotional avalanches. Even with time, losing your mom is just so hard. I'm so sorry.
Whine: My mom told me today she is thinking of seeing her doctor for anti-anxiety help because my brother's looming divorce and his daily phone calls are weighing so heavily on her. What a mess my SIL deciding she doesn't love my brother has brought. Ugh ugh ugh.
Antiwhine: tackling bedtime for all 3 kids alone was OK.
I have more than one whine. But I only have two and then a nice juice antiwhine. Is that ok?
Whine one. Spot the skinny teeny cat punctured my index finger right in the first fold. Of course it immediately got infected and is all swollen and red and painful. However the good news is that I can still point you never know when you need to point.
Whine two. Even though I have twice reported him to the police and he is now awaiting trial in mid-August, my son once again stole a large amount of money from me. I.could moan and groan ad nauseum about him and this behavior but it does no good. He's a screwup and he doesn't believe that consequences happen to him. They do.
Antiwhine. My slightly insane landlady contacted my attorney on Monday with an offer to allow us to stay in our house until the property is sold. And not only can we stay but she took $800 off the rent. So we now live in the cheapest non-subsidized house in the entire city of Boston. We're guessing that it will take anywhere from. 6-12 months to sell this as a tear down. In other words immight be able to save some money and get my car fixed.
W: meeting at 7:30 two hours from home
AW: staying in hotel.
W: forgot shirt and comb.
AW: wearing very modest suit. Pajama tank top is ok underneath.
I'd like to nominate Liz for Frontier Woman Award with the jammie top, and I'd like to nominate Margalit for Silver Lining Award and/or Mullet with this: "However the good news is that I can still point you never know when you need to point."
Thinking good thoughts for sick bunnies, recovering children, overworked Pixies, and heartsick parents!
Many thanks for the hugs for me. It's weird and hard, but I think the revelation plopped me down into a stage of grief I hadn't anticipated. It blend in with the rest of the grief with time.
FWIW, I don't entirely buy the idea that "time heals all wounds." I think the passage of time helps because we have time to practice the stages of grief, and rather than it being a fresh, new set of emotions to work through, it is more like an old pair of shoes that you don't like. You haven't worn them in a while, but you put them on, remember how to walk in them, and then you walk. You know how crappy your feet will feel at the end of the day, but you have to wear them, so you do and you get through it. Their familiarity and the busy-ness of your life make it easier to cope.
Hugs, kathy a.
I'll second both nominations amy - thanks to Liz and Margalit for starting my day with a chuckle.
Whine: Stoooopid busy day today and very little sleeps. Still hurting a fair bit at the injection site.
Anti-whine: Only hurting at injection site is not much of a whine, all things considered.
Anti-whine: Getting my advocacy hat ready to write letters to our local MP (Member of Parliament) asking why I have to travel long distances to receive pain relief. We live in a city of 100,000 people in the middle of nowhere. It is no longer acceptable to just say "No one here does that."
My question: "Why not?" It's not brain surgery people. Get some qualified people up here, start a decent pain clinic and maybe we wouldn't have such a high rate of opiate use in the city. Just sayin'....
See, I feel better for two days and I'm getting all postal all over the provincial government. Yup. Feelin' better already.
Yeah Sue! Good luck with your campaign and I hope the pain relief lasts.
(((days)))
(((kathy a.)))
(((amy)))
(((neighbor boy))) and lots of ice cream!
another whine: I have two planters (on either side of my front door). I put the same plants--three geranium, three petunia, three vinca vines and one tall spikey grass thing) in each. Why do they now look so uneven?
The geraniums have only been blooming in one. The petunias in the other are behaving like the Borg (assimilating everything in sight).
I used a clippers (liberally) in hopes of fixing this.
related whine: Why do I have to *weed* the planters?
yet another whine: I've discovered a new dwarf at my house--Sullen. Occupies only teenage bodies and is generally only directed at me. (It's good that she's "so pleasant!" with others, I know...)
Hugs and comfort food all around!
PK, hoping the bunnies are OK.
sarah -- hoping things are better for your daughter soon! (i don't think the questions are meant to be critical, only to get more clues; you are seeking treatment because her anxiety is far more debilitating than your occasional symptoms.) i hope your mom gets some tools for her impossible situation, too.
(((( amy )))) how painful. xoxox
NL, the ice cream diet is totally the silver lining to tonsils!
go, sue -- cluesticks ahoy!
emily for dwarf of the week: sullen. isn't it amazing how they usually confine that to parents? lucky us.
thank you for the good thoughts. the emotions are complicated because my mom was abusive, and we had limited contact before her stroke, when my sister and i became responsible for her care. i can still remember before things got really ugly, but lots of terrible stuff after that. and then all the issues around her stroke. i'm with amy about grief coming back, sometimes unexpectedly, but that it is less raw with time.
(((Kathy a.)))
(((amy)))
--neighbor lady
Emily, you and I both seem to be in the same boat re: Sullen Dwarf. I can never tell when my daughter is going to be sweet and cheerful, or the angry imp who posts on Facebook at 3 in the morning how "damn bored" she is.
I think it must be hardwired into teenaged genetic code that parents are to be kept off-balance at all times.
As for me, I've been busy, busy, busy with Girl Scout stuff. I've been planning a leadership event, 5 school Open House events, recruitments, and making our local area website. Hopefully, all that work will be a good thing, and we can break past the last few "bad" years that our area has dealt with. I really want to make this fun for everyone again.
((amy))
((kathy a.))
((Sarah at ratatat)) 8 was a difficult age for us too but I cannot fathom untreated anxiety in a child and the bouncing from doctor to doctor. But! Happy anniversary!
NL: Hoping for a swift recovery for neighbour boy!
KLee - Good luck with the GS extravaganza.
W: It is cancer; it's not the kind we'd hoped but it's apparently quite treatable anyways.
W: I am starving now. Pass the ice cream.
ice cream, coming up! what flavors do you prefer, days?
stupid fireplacing cancer -- i hate it. sorry for the news, days, but the "quite treatable" part is very good. xoxoxoxoxo
Post a Comment