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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Modern Fairy Tale Tortures

I've got one unbloggable whine here, which can be vaguely translated to, "Please lay your head on this block. The guy with the ax is busy, so be patient, and he will be along after a while. He may have lost his ax, so either you will be beheaded or he will give you a cookie." Being me, I keep getting the giggles and casting the Evil Queen, the misguided Huntsman, the Witch, the Wolf, etc. which should add an interesting layer to the meeting (that may or may not be today).

In anti-whine news: it's light here for 12 hours a day now! This is huge.

Other whine: I have gained seven lbs since January through a bout of what Anne Lamott might call "attack eating."

But it is light enough that my gym-hating self can start playing outside more, and I have a date with a friend for a run tomorrow (anti-whine).

I hope all the Witches and Wolves in your world are friendly, and that the guy with the ax doesn't know where you live.

How is your week going? What are your whines and anti-whines? Remember - there is no whine too big or too small!

44 comments:

redzils said...

Test comment... testing 1 . 2 . 3 . . .

Sue said...

I hope you have a good run redzils!! And I hope the unbloggable ends up with cookies (as opposed to the 'cut off her head' part - ick!)

Actually, I think there is a good chance that the guy's axe lodged itself squarely into my right temple last night, so if you were looking for it, that's where it was. In fact, a shard or two were left behind. Should you spot a guy with a black hood over his face, let him know, 'kay?

Whine: I've suddenly turned into my six-year-old alter ego who is too shy to raise her hand in school. I *really* need to talk to my family doc about how much worse my headaches are again, but I'm scared to phone and make the appointment. I feel like such a whiner when we talk about it. He doesn't get it at. all. I'm pretty sure the guy has never had a headache in his life. Either that, or his heart really is three sizes too small. ~sigh~

Anti-whine: I had a good distraction-causing workout yesterday.

Liz Miller said...

(((Sue))). I'm sending you bravery and wondering if you can bring a big rubber mallet to your appointment with you. Ask him if he'd like to experience what your headaches feel like. And then bludgeon him 20 or so times. Then offer him a regular-strength Motrin.

Redzils, I'm crossing all appendages that it's cookies and not an axe.

Days said...

Sue, I think liz has offered valid advice re: doctor/headache. Alternatively, you could have someone else do the bludgeoning as he enters the room, so that he may fully appreciate the reality of fast-hitting headaches. Virtual hand-holding as required in order to assist in making the call to set up the appt.

Redzils - Hooray for the sunlight and the running buddy! Best of luck with the unbloggable.

My son is home. (Yay!) My husband is also home, which means the laundry is being done and we are all very appreciative of that.
Predictable whine of settling in to having a new family member. Two-thirds of the day are delightful and wonderful, and everyone gets along swimmingly. The other third of the day(when we ought to be sleeping) is miserable for the entire household since the boy does.not.sleep. We are the type of people who desperately need our 8 hours every night and function poorly when those 8 hours are interrupted continuously by a wee lad looking for a play-mate. My oldest daughter bluntly tells him off. We have given many, many gentle reminders about staying in his room if he does wake up, his mid-night and early morning wanderings continue. It has only been 11 days, but I cannot handle this. I was hoping that this is a temporary responses to upheaval and change in his life, but I spoke to caregivers at the facility that cared for him overseas, and they informed me that this has been a long-term issue that was ultimately resolved by locking him in his room at night, which, um, no. So, what to do?

kathy a. said...

oh, sue. wishing you luck in going back and telling him yet again just how freaking bad it is.

days, congratulations on your new family member! and oh, dear about the sleep issues... hope that settles down soon.

we are having a wonderful time in japan, with daughter! it is actually wednesday here, already.

W: my sister had more tests last thursday, and saw the doctor about them monday. she has not talked to the other sister she promised to call with news. i'm not liking this. [we all agree she needs space to think about news and to tell what she wants, when she wants. but i suspect she would be jumping for joy if it was good news, and she would have said something.] so, trying to think good thoughts.

Sue said...

I need a shower. My hair is greasy. I am (once again) the Crisco kid. I am also tired, and my head hurts.

Alas, I have an early funeral service to conduct, so I can't even get away with the old "I'll only be in the office, so no one will see me" excuse.

Time to hit the shower. Those drops can hurt sometimes....just sayin'

Gary said...

Days - I'm not a doctor, at least not that kind of doctor, but I have 2 sons with ADHD and on stimulant medication, and though we've never had any sleep-related issues, our nurse practitioner is always recommending melatonin to us in case we do. (/run-on sentence assvice)

redzils said...

Oh, Sue, I am in favor of the mallet for the doctor. I am glad you at least got a good workout in.

Days, the sleep deprivation is the worst. I hope it passes soon.

kathy a. - thanks for checking in from Japan! There are a lot of Pixie fingers crossed for your sister.

Hi Liz! Hi Gary!

The guy with the ax emailed me after not coming to the office where I work today, scheduling this meeting for the third time. Only this time I don't even get a day, just "this week." The cookies will be stale, at this rate, even if I get them.

kathy a. said...

6 hours of trekking around to about 400 of kyoto:s most famed sites [or, 3%]. so tired. think my beloved wanted more time here. gotta run, now daughter wants to get her shopping in.

hugs, pixies!

purple_kangaroo said...

A friend/acquaintance died tonight, after a 3-month ordeal. Complications of gastric bypass surgery. Aching for his family.

kathy a. said...

((( PK ))) that:s just awful. thinking of you, and his family and friends.

sorry for whining during the wonderful vacation. today just started feeling like a forced march at a couple points -- and my lower back starts seizing up painfully after a few hours of trudging up and down hills and stairs. tomorrow will be mostly on the train. and our anniversary!

Sue said...

Votes for kathy a for Distance Whining. She totally wins that one.

Whine: Mean people suck.

esperanza said...

W: No sleep makes esperanza a not-very-nice person, especially to those I love the most. (Days, I'm with you on the 8 hour thing...my sympathies).

W: could I get a little bit of help around here?!?

See what I mean about the not-so-nice part?

AW: Sweet Baboo started preschool this week, mostly for some peer socialization and hopefully some improvements on her speech. I would swear that after only one day, she's talking more, and more clearly.

AW: Mini Baboo is rocking the growing, especially the growing cuter. Two months tomorrow!

Sue said...

(((esperanza)))

Whine: usual. Headache. Doc's office opens in twenty minutes. I don't care anymore about what he thinks. The first chance I get, I'm going for an appointment, during which I will remove my head and ask for a replacement model.

Anti-whine: Did a funeral for a 100 year old man today and got to have lunch with his wonderful family. This is what it's all about folks...not Stoopid Breakfast meetings (I have one tomorrow) or church politics.

Whine: Stoooopid Breakfast Meeting tomorrow at O'Dark Thirty. Wah.

Sue said...

Done and done. Appointment made for Apr 8th. I feel better already. It still bugs me that I'm so intimidated by my own doc (not without reason, mind you) - but at least the appointment is made.

purple_kangaroo said...

Sue, I'm glad you made the appointment! I hope the dr. listens and can do something for you.

Kathy A, I hope you can start relaxing on this vacation at some point.

And I have a whine! My barely-turned-9-year-old has informed me that she has a "sweetheart" and she plans to marry him when she grows up. I told her that having friends is great, and enjoying spending time with her friends (male or female) is a good thing.

But people can change a lot between age 9 and when they're grown up, so she should probably wait to decide who she is going to fall in love with and/or marry until she's actually old enough to get married.

She's 9! How am I having to deal with "sweethearts" already at this age??? She doesn't even go to school! (We homeschool, but the kids are in a lot of activities like choir, gymnastics, homeschool co-op, AWANA, Sunday School, etc.)

Isn't 9 a little young to be thinking she's in love? Or am I just hopelessly naive?

Liz Miller said...

MM has said he's going to marry one or another of his friends who are girls since he was...4? I think?

Yup. Four.

Liz Miller said...

SweetPrettyGirl, DaughterOfPoshPlaceDirector, LovesHighSchoolMusical, and AlmostAsTallAsMe.

kathy a. said...

my daughter "married" eric when she was in kindergarten. they were classmates through 8th grade, and that was one of the class memories!

Courtney said...

I haven't been over here to whine in a very long time (basically gave up blogging) but I need the gang this week.

Standard late march whine: grading finals and reporting grades. Particular Whiny student: "How many points was the class out of?" Me: "Check the syllabus." student: "I lost my syllabus. It would be just as easy for you to tell me." Me: "It would be easier for me to be at your beck and call, but I'm not. Download another copy of the syllabus."

Too snarky? It was the nicest of the 10 responses I came up with...

Anti-whine: March Madness is teh awesome this year.

Sorry about the headaches, Sue! I feel your pain (literally).

Sue said...

Hey Quinn! Welcome back! Thanks for the headache co-whineage.

I cannot even imagine what it must be like at this time of the academic year. Argh. It's sort of like "No pressure, but you need to have everything done, and make everyone happy, like, yesterday. 'kay?"

Hey wait: That sounds a lot like my job!

Days said...

Welcome back, Quinn!

Thanks for the tip, Gary. We may be looking into that sort of option soon.

PK, I feel your pain. My 9yo DD is the same way. I tend to smile and nod and wait for it to pass.

Well done for booking your appt, Sue! I will swap you one fireplacing breakfast meeting for a mid-morning, mind-numbing meeting with the director.

Hoping your vacation is increasingly free of whinage, kathy!

And an extra round of nap-time for all!

Jenevieve said...

Hi, guys! I want in on this naptime of which you speak, Days.

I made it to LA (no thanks to the unmedicated psychotic sitting next to me, loudly abusing everyone around her and the staff). Ah, flying.

W: My parents. Already. Gah. How the heck am I supposed to live w/in half an hour from them for a whole year?! I need >2 time zones, people. They coerced me into dinner tonight, then proceeded to act manipulative, passive-aggressive, and self-serving as ever. Then, when I left, I found a 500 dollar check taped to my car keys. Gahhhhh. "Can't buy me loo-oove, no no no, NO!"

AW: I love, love, love my brother in law and his wife. They make my whole life better and more livable, and are appropriately outraged by my family. (I'm staying with them, thankfully!)

W: My godmother is in terrible shape. I mean, I knew she was, but man. Man.

AW: She smiled and tried to talk when I came in (I think she was chastising me for losing too much weight? Typical Jewish godmother). Mom said it's the most animated she's been in weeks. She then held my hand for 4 hours until she fell asleep. I'm going back tomorrow.

W: found out my twin brother is abusing drugs again. *While under army disciplinary hard labour.* The sergeant is trying to get him placed in a psychiatric facility; they thing he may be schizophrenic. Gahhhhh.


I need off this crazy train, people. Anyone know a rock I can crawl under?

Jenevieve said...

Boy, sorry for the novel, guys.

kathy a. said...

esperanza, yay about the baboos! but dang, you could use not being the duty parent every single second.

hi, quinn! i think that was a great response.

oh, jeni. xoxox

kathy a. said...

oh, my sister's tests came back inconclusive -- i'm thinking that is better than at least one of the alternatives. she has a bone biopsy next week, yikes.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Redzils, yay on the light, boo on the attack eating. And hope the unbloggable turns out to be OK and some day bloggable.

Days-Congrats on your son coming home, even if there is no sleep. Get some ZZZZssss soon.

Sue - I hate that feeling, about the doctor and know what is true and what he'll believe.

KathyA - thinking of you and your sister and family. And hoping Japan doesn't break you too badly while you enjoy its sites.

PK - how tragic.

Esperanza - hugs. You deserve help, even if you would get to sleep enough. That's just baby facts of life.

Quinn - not too snarky. The student will probably smart until s/he talks to someone who points out that hand holding is not your job.

Jenevieve - what a set of horrors, it could you allergic to California sunshine. Just hugs, and hopes for distance within your life :)

W: My son woke us all up early
AW: because today is my birthday.

AW: I do not have stitches or pink eye today. Yet? Wish me luck to stay in one piece today.

JenR said...

{{{pixies}}}

Happy Birthday sarah at ratatat!

At 1, he hired a pro to take our son's pictures and she ended up editing a huge scratch off his face in every shot after a kid at day care scratched him.

This year we thought we were safe (silly!). Pics are Saturday. Last night he fell sliding off his chair and scratched his face. Ugh!

amy said...

I vote JenR for the Facepalm award. Good grief!

Jenevieve -- I don't know the story on your brother, but I am familiar with dealing with military docs when you have someone with PTSD. Military docs do NOT want to diagnose this, but drug abuse is a symptom of PTSD. Just thought I'd put that out there.

Also? The check taped to your keys? OMG, I get why you want >2 time zones. I wish you could send the check back to them in the mail with a note that says, "You may not treat me like crap and then try to buy me off. Keep your money and don't call me until you can treat me civilly." There's nothing on the line for me, though, so this is easy to say. (And it sounds all tough, but I'd bet my course of action would be total avoidance instead.) Best of luck, my dear.

Quinn, I got snarky with a student yesterday, too, and totally regretted it -- UNTIL I GOT TO CLASS. And then I was cool with it again. She emailed me to ask me a question we've covered in class every day for the last two weeks, but she is always a half an hour late. So my response was "Come to class and find out!" I swear, I could get reprimanded for this if it weren't for the fact that she again came a half an hour late and MISSED THE REVIEW. HAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT, BAD STUDENT!

amy said...

My whines this week are petty: I know an adult who chews too loudly and smacks his food. It's gross and he has no idea he does it. Unfortunately, we eat together with some frequency. (No, it is not my one year old son, though he does it too.)

And my husband is at a job interview, but I have a feeling that they will not offer him enough money to lure him away from his job that is going to crap. Evidence of Crap: Two weeks ago, a friend and coworker came in and told his group about an across-the-board, 100% of the company gets a 3% raise. My husband checked his paycheck stub (the raise is retroactive) only to discover that 100% = Everyone But Him. And they're sticking him with crap intern work and taking away the stuff he's there to do. He hates it and has told his boss that he's looking for work elsewhere, but he's so loyal that I know it'll take a lot to get him to leave. That is sad-making. :(

Anonymous said...

Hugs to all the pixies! So many worthy whines!!!

My whine is that Aunt FLo apparently is one of a set of quintuplets and decided to visit with all of them this week. And I was already iron deficient LAST week....

Also, I am awash in a sea of paperwork as I tackle things not filed for the last....um.....few years?....as I gear up for tax time, for which I am still awaiting necessary reporting forms from one source.....gah.....

And, all my piles of paperwork are now on my living room floor because the out-of-the way space I usually use is covered with all the crap from my basement that we moved up in last weeks water-fest.....

And I have about 2.5 hours before my kids come home from school and play in said living room, amid my piles(!!!!). Must. go. sort. now!

--Neighbor Lady

aw--Ghirarde11i 60% dark chocolate--lactose freee!

Sarah at ratatat said...

JenR- again? really? Hope the little guy is OK, if marked...

Oh Amy, your husband and the job just sounds sad. Hugs and wine?

NL - the chocolate is a terrific AW. And the piles...yeah, my office went from messy to Oh My God this week. Good luck.

Sue said...

Hey pixies - fine and award worthy whineage all around.

Whine: Meeting @0700 - 1000. Useful or helpful information/direction coming out of said meeting. Um, that would be - NONE.

Number of times I wanted to run screaming out of the room.....too many to count.

Whine: Yeast infection. TMI? I feel too miserable today to care. Sorry pixies. Baaaaaaaad day.

esperanza said...

Oh Sue, that is some kind of wrong.

Liz Miller said...

Just popping in to say that the doorstop is done, pending approval by various powers that be.

It now weighs in at two-hundred-twenty-two pages. Down from 226.

Liz Miller said...

And I officially HATE Microsoft Word. Auto-formatting, my Aunt Fanny.

Jenevieve said...

Thanks for the support, guys. :) I heart this place!

And Amy, good thought re: PTSD. I've never even thought of that.

Sue said...

(((Jenevieve)))

Good doorstop work Liz!

NL - I hear ya. My office is enough to make me wince at least once daily. I try to ignore it for now. I'll get to it in July maybe. Or not.

Sue said...

One last whine before this heinous day ends:

I received one of those mail-order catalogues today called "As We Change". It's a magazine for everything you need as you venture through menopause. Two full pages on unwanted hair alone. An article about how to "embrace those hot flashes".

Srsly. I couldn't make up this sh*t if I tried. Hubby did NOT help when he handed it to me and laughed so hard that his tea came out of his nose. So, there you go. I finished my day by throwing a magazine at a guy in a wheelchair. Does that make me bad? Ya? Whatever, he asked for it........

Oy.

redzils said...

The guy with the ax came and loomed at me today, along with his partner-in-hitting-things-with-axes.

There were no cookies and no cuts, just a metaphorical bludgeoning. Everything is tabled until next week.

I think Our Wily Heroine is ready for next week. She has a basket of cookies, a pair of red boots, and a secret magic artifact they are not expecting. At this point, Our Wily Heroine, would just like to get this all over with.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Liz - Amen to the Word woes. And 222, that is an impressive document.

Sue - yeast? and a menopause magazine? That's too much for 1 day. At least your husband was laughing and not earnest :)

redzils - I love your "choose your own adventure: descriptions of the axing meetings. Good luck!

Emily said...

In the spirit of the season, I think that Sue should get some sort of award of the 10 plagues! I feel your pain (literally) and hope that you can get some relief from your doc. IME, it can be helpful to bring an advocate to such meetings (to keep saying "how can Sue get relief?" perhaps), preferably one with an X *and* a Y chromosome to counteract the "you're just a girl, what do you know" syndrome (my experience is with the education system, not the medical system, but I think the mindset is similar). Why is it, if I express a concern to a teacher, I'm a neurotic mother, but if my DH expresses the same concern it's taken seriously? (Emily wraps a whine within assvice, hoping to impress the judges with the degree of difficulty)

Sue said...

Good idea Emily. I had been thinking I should take someone with me. I hadn't considered the gender part of it, mostly because my friend who is a nurse is so tough, he would probably be a bit intimidated by her anyway. When it comes to advocating for her loved ones, she's a bit of a pit bull. Hubby and I were just saying the other day that it might be time to pull out the "big guns" and take N with me next time.

Liz Miller said...

Definitely bring N.