Hippo Birdie, Two Ewe!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to KLee and Neighbor Lady! We are tossing confetti and passing a variety of cakes in celebration! Everyone is invited to sing and dance!

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Let's talk about the age thing, shall we? I'm pulling out the nerf cluestick for KLee's Offspring, because 13 is approaching ground zero for "I Know Everything." Emily is 47; I am 52; my Fabulous Aunt will be 71 tomorrow! As my dad used to say on birthdays, "It's better than the alternative." And I say, 39 is a very good age.

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The Cluestick Posse is hereby activated for duty as follows, with adult-style cluesticks: [1] Purple Kangaroo's daughter's idiot therapist; [2] all the parents who have failed to RSVP to Elizabeth's son's birthday party; and [3] Jenevieve's nasty vet school instructor.

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A special Cluestick Wedgie (TM) is also on the agenda for Debangel's beloved, who shows off his loose pants as Debangel expands to approximately the shape of a whale. (Thanks to Sue for that suggestion!)

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Jenevieve also receives the Terrible, No Good Day Award, as suggested by Neighbor Lady. Glad the grade will not really matter, but we are all unhappy with the Dermo Guy's teaching methods and lack of general decency.

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Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Amy, for "facebook is broken today. keeps telling me i have no friends. :( x 2" Runner up to Debangel, who explains to the babe-to-be that the bladder kicking must stop, or "Mama is *not* buying you that pony."

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We're gonna have to cluestick Sue's husband for this, but he receives an Honorary Mullet for unwanted commentary before coffee: "Folks, we are seeing the rare Three Dwarf morning. Sleepy, Dopey, AND Grumpy. Approach the subject with care." The prize is no coffee for as long as it takes to stop being so "amusing" at oh-dark-thirty.

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Old Skool Award goes to Emily, who speaks for us all with her classic whine about Christmas stuff showing up at the mall weeks before Halloween. What the heck, we're saddled up already, so let's cluestick those mall marketers while we're at it.

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SQUEEE! Award to Liz, for two, two, two kinds of squealing! On the AW side, adoring fans of her husband at a debate! And then on the W side, the fan belt.

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Wanna Get Away Awards to Sarah at ratatat, dealing with dueling viruses while her husband is out of town, and PK, whose daughter with OCD is not the easiest patient when a virus also strikes. "I am about to run away screaming while also pulling out my hair" sounds about right to us.

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Is It Really Too Much to Ask Award to Esperanza, who asked the muddy window guys to please wipe their feet, but fears that the housecleaner's efforts will be undone anyway. (Thanks to Amy for the suggestion.) This award comes with bonus cluesticking.

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Basement Follies Award to Madeleine, who had a fun-filled long weekend cleaning up so the asbestos people can do their thing. Fun fun fun. And the Runner Up is Sarah at ratatat, whose Dad is yelling at his basement project, bringing up some of Those Issues.

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You Can Do It Award to KLee, who is doing great in her class! Yay!

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Extra servings of chocolate cake to Espreanza's Mini-Baboo and Debangel's daughter-to-be, whose birthdays will not be for a good safe while if the Pixies have anything to say about it. Esperanza, we think the chocolate cake has worked well so far; boo on worrying about weight gain for now.

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Best Dramatic Interpretation of a Complaint Mama Didn't Know She Had Award to Esperanza's Sweet Baboo, acting out Mama's back pain. Ouch!

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THANKS A LOT, Aunt Flo Awards to Elizabeth, Liz, Neighbor Lady, and anyone else similarly afflicted.

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Here's hoping that all who are suffering illness and adversity see a swift, painless, fair, and happy resolution.

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Thanks for playing! See you again next week!