Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Whine some little whines for me

Howdy pixies, you ready to whine?

I'll try to lay off my long catalog of the-sky-is-falling whines and just pass along this one. Earlier today, a charity was scheduled to come by and pick up some clothes we were donating, and once I had them packed up, labeled, and placed outside I decided to get ambitious and also give away some of the boxes of baby clothes and toys that have been stuffed in boxes on a shelf in the garage for a couple of years. I've been reading a lot of Buddhist self-help books these days and thinking about this idea of letting go, and this seemed like a good exercise for me given my fundamental pack-rat nature. So I gave away a whole slew of the toys my kids played with when they were babies. I went through them all and remembered when the kids were so small and gave them all away. I only kept one little toy, a small octopus rattle that was the very first toy each of my kids reached for when they were babies. I don't know what to do with it, maybe I'll hang it from the rear view mirror of my car. I spent most of the morning feeling really sad and nostalgic. Remind me should such a situation ever arise again, that it's best not to stir all that up in the middle of a period which is otherwise thoroughly chaotic.

How's about y'all? What's going on in your neck of the woods?

P.S. I know I said I'd lay off the big-time whines, but my friend who was recently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer goes in later today for a biopsy of her liver, which if it comes back as benign growth would make her cancer stage 1 or 2 instead of 4. Then tomorrow she'll have the tube inserted into her chest for her chemo treatments. Please think healing thoughts for her.


Miranda said...

I'll be thinking of your friend, Scrivener.

I just have an anti-whine that reminded me of your anecdote. Today I was ready to cry from frustration and, instead, I started asking for help and sharing my feelings. It turns out that others felt similarly and we offered to help one another.

liz said...

Thinking of your friend, Scrivener.

Is the octopus rattle really a pentapus? Because, if so, that's the toy we've kept from MM's babyhood, too!

Sinuses clogged, ears are stuffed
Oh allergies! I've had enough
Papers due, exams returned
Instead of A's, just B's I've earned.
I know that at B's I shouldn't sneeze
Tell that to my allergies.

liz said...

Anti-whine: It's still early in the semester and I can catch up.

Yankee T said...

Anti-Whine Ode to A Good Friend

From far away you came tonight
We've smiled and laughed with all our might.
I never thought I'd see the day
That in my own home you would stay.

I've visited you many times
And each time this old friendship climbs
The mountains and the hills of yore
Repeating our familiar lore

Our kids grew up as solid friends
And now with distance, nothing ends
Not love or memories or tears
That remind us of all the years

It's just four days, but true, sheer bliss
I cannot bear how much I miss
You when by miles we're forced apart
And here you are! Be still, my heart.

I am having the most wonderful time with my dear, dear friend, MBB. No whining allowed.

Sarah said...

I think its one of the greatest feelings is to give away cherished baby clothes that otherwise just sit some where unused.

margalit said...

Anriwhine: I am home, I am alive, my children are healthy.

Whine: 5 frigging days in the hospital. Went into congestive heart failure Thursday night, went to hospital on Friday, got home today. Fun times, people.

Whine: New meds, different med regime, and it's complicated beyond belief.

Whine: got home, both kids were asleep at 4 pm, house was a pig sty, downstairs toilet hosed, nobody had changed kitty litter in 5 days so house reeked. I went ballistic. Totally lost my temper not more than 15 minutes after I got home. Nice.

Whine: The boy skipped out on half a day of school yesterday after fighting with his program head. In school suspension tomorrow. Plus he blew off therapy. I am furious.

Whine: Girl got involved in bad gossip situation and got in trouble at school.

Whine: My allergy to all things adhesive was disregarded at hospital so now I have chemical burns all over my body where the ekg tabs were put.

Whine: Both arms totally bruised from needles, IVs, blood draws. Look like a junkie.

Antiwhine: Lost 10 lbs in 4 days. Diet secret? LASIX. Peed constantly, up to 2 liters/day. Fun!

Antiwhine: I'm home. The weather is unreal, I can sleep in my own bed. Yahoo.

Scrivener said...

Miranda: Congratulations for responding to frustration by opening up instead of shutting down.

Liz: Yes, it is a pentapus! Kind of a green pear with 5 legs with triangles on the bottom? Hope whatever's causing the allergic reaction passes soon.

Hooray for old friends, YT!

Margalit: Oh my. Lots of hugs and well-wishes to you.

KLee said...

Margalit -- I'm so sorry! Is anyone located near you, pixie-wise, that could help out? I know I'm probably hell and gone from whereever you are located, but if, by some odd circumstance, I'm not, I'd be happy to help out, bring you a casserole or something.

I'm just flabbergasted -- please rest, and get well.

Name Under Development said...

The theme of this post would be, “Monty, I want another door!” I’m stuck in a situation where I have several options, none of which are particularly palatable.

My job regularly requires me to refer students to another department for services. I worked in that department for 5 years, so I’m very familiar with the boss, department staff and how things operate. I sign off on time sheets whenever they provide service, but I have no direct supervisory role and the department head seriously outranks me. She is also a control freak of the highest order and a card-carrying member of the “it’s all about me all the time” club. Further, she has all the tact of a meat axe.

Needless to say, the people under her are in a thankless situation. Most of them, however, do their jobs and do it well. That said, they’re all fallible human beings with quirks, pet peeves and blind spots. Sometimes those quirks and failings end up hurting the students we’re supposed to help.

Moreover, while the vast majority of my students desperately need the services we provide, it’s not uncommon for them to make choices that leave us wanting to shake them until their teeth rattle.

Right now, I have a situation where I referred a “wild child” type student with a tough exterior trying to mask a clearly bruised inside to this other department, only to have the first meeting between the student and the service provider marred by the provider bringing out one of her pet quirks. This employee has a long-running battle going with a faculty group, and what she said to the student puts her smack dab in the middle. The student came to me, saying, “I can’t work with this woman.”

The student doesn’t have the skills (yet) to tell this employee what she did wrong—she just wants the bulls-eye off her chest. Further, she was clearly nervous about “telling on” the employee and afraid of retaliation. I can and have spoken to the head’s assistant to get the student reassigned, but any follow- up is dicey and risks coming back on the student. Moreover, I’m contractually forbidden to refer the student for that service outside the department.

The employee is prickly and opinionated, but she usually does her job well and is the lead person in that department for that particular service. I’ve no authority over her, so if I go to her my only option is to appeal to her good nature. Going to the boss is a crapshoot. She’s as likely to fly off the handle and blow up as deal with it appropriately, and she (quite rightly) will want details on what happened, which will be difficult to do without compromising the students’ privacy. Saying nothing increases the risk that it will happen again.

If you see Monty Hall anywhere, please tell him I want another door.


liz said...


NUD, I just HATE politics.

liz said...

Yes, Scrivener, that's the one! I even blogged about it once - when I posted a letter I wrote to MM when he was an infant.

Yankee T said...


Bummer on all counts, but I think especially that the house was a sty. That's just wrong.

JenR said...

Whine of yellow and green... I had my 20 week ultrasound on Monday, and baby stubbornly crossed its ankles and pulled it's knees to its chest the whole time. So my plans for buying pink frilly things or blue constructiony things were destroyed.

Antiwhine: Baby is measuring 3 days big, despite my only 2 pound wight gain. Since wight gainis supposed to be 10-ish pounds by now, I've actually lost some of my pre-pregnancy weight, right?

Sue said...

Scrivener, thinking of you and your friend.

(((margalit))) Oh my goodness. Please take care of yourself.

Diane said...

Jenr - find a place that has the 4D sonograms - I highly recomend it. One of the places by my house has their cheap package at $100 (I know exactly what you're thinking....don't even say it) and that's how I found out I was having a girl. In my pregnancy induced hysteria I decided that I hated yellow and green and only pink or blue would do. While I realize that any baby would do just fine this $100 was extremely well spent for me.

Sara said...

Whine: After our last Grossout Parenting Moment (the Toenail Caper of Spring '07), husband promised me he'd handle the next cringeworthy incident. PROMISED.

So what does the guy do? Scamper off to fireplacing JAPAN, leaving me with Snaggletooth Boy, who looks for all the world like some kind of Lewis Hines photograph right now, front teeth so badly askew that they dovetail to a single point at their yellow, slanty, tips.

And so last night *I* was the one dealing with a teary 7 year old standing there in his too-big jammies, saying "My tooth is twisted sideways and it hurts so much and it won't come out. Can you make it better?"


Elizabeth said...


Glad to hear that you're alive. Seriously, let us know if there's anything practical all of us can do to help.

Whine and anti-whine combined: Didn't go to NYC for Yom Kippur, due to colds all around.

I really don't have anything in particular to whine about, but am just feeling blue.

Jenevieve said...

Whine: Colic.

Antiwhine: cookies.

Sarah said...

Thinking good thoughts for Scrivener.

And hugs for JenR. I know that frustration, even if our u/s tech had a guess both times.

And much sympathy for Margalit.

Whine: I am feeling oh so lazy. I have a mild cold. I need to exercise and diet and get my act together and stop gaining weight.

And style points for YT. So true. I am trying to motivate myself by thinking about going on a trip with good friends.

Jenevieve said...

Oh, I forgot to say my biggest antiwhine:

Thanks you guys for all the comments over at my blog when Hosea was born, and for all the advice and encouragement since then! I'm recovering well and finally feeling slightly more human, and even the colic seems manageable. Hosea is huge and thriving and adorable, and I really felt all the warmth (and loved the phone calls!) from you all. You are fabulous.

The History Enthusiast said...

(((Margalit))) I will pray that you feel better and that things around the house calm down. In the meantime, take care of yourself!

Uccellina said...

Margalit, I'm glad you're feeling better. That sounds like a very scary experience.

Whine: More bleeding.

Antiwhine: Babies fine; ultrasound shows them practicing tai chi.

Whine: Lawyer has decided that instead of getting a temp while I'm out, he's going to have his wife fill in. I have to train his wife. Awk.Ward.

Antiwhine: Today is my third wedding anniversary, and I can honestly say I like my husband even better now than I did when I married him.

kathy a. said...

hugs to you and your friend, scrivener. and OMG, margalit! hope you are feeling better and that the kids are suddenly inspired to sty-cleaning.

YT, can i come visit you? style vote, as always.

NUD, how frustrating! and sara, hoping the tooth fairy brings something for you, too.

cheers, to jenevieve and uccelina!

kathy a. said...

another style vote for liz!

throwing my hat in the ring with a silly haiku --

bringing fluids and
solids: anonymous cat
keeps going in tub.

antiwhines (of partial vindications of parental cleanliness traumas of the last decade or so):

[1] daughter (newly off to college) went to a midnight madness sale with "everyone" in the university, and she bought antibacterial wipes, because she "might want to clean something sometime."

[2] son, moving to a new apartment (after 7 months with 4 dudely roommates, suddenly and desperately wishing to recover some of the damage deposit) borrowed both a vacuum AND a steam cleaner.

there is hope for the future, friends.

liz said...

From Gene Weingarten's chat today. It's an hour and forty-five minutes long, but worth it. Please watch this last lecture.

kathy a. said...

oh, liz. thank you for that link. it is very much worth it.

michaela said...

The backs of my knees are sweating. So, for that matter, is every single other pore on my entire body.

It is late September, and I live in Maine. This is frickin' absurd.

Antiwhine: We never got around to taking out the air conditioners, so score one for laziness!

amy said...

Why won't my daughter potty train? She turned three last June. WTF? I am tired of diapers but I have no time for all of the cleaning that ditching diapers completely would cause because I'm working two jobs right now.

My daughter is only three and she has beaten me.

Scrivener said...

I think "My daughter is only three and she has beaten me" looks like the frontrunner for the Elevated Risk of a Mullet award. How about y'all?

kathy a. said...

oh, yeah -- daughter is 3 is a winner every last time.

kathy a. said...

for those suffering the diaper blues -- my own kids would have been content to sit in poopy diapers for ever. this is the place where peer pressure is a good thing.

liz said...

I ditto that ERM award.

K said...

whine: our dear elementary school is about to be publicly listed as one of those "failing" schools courtesy of NCLB. But it's a great school. Really, it is. It's just an extremely economically and racially diverse student body, which doesn't always bode well for standardized testing.

anti-whine: We are skipping town this weekend and heading out east to Northern VA to go visit my parents and attend a HS Reunion.

Hugs to Scrivners friend, margalit, and the parents whose children are beating them.

liz said...

k, where in NoVa will you be? Any chance of a bloggy playdate or are you completely pressed?

KLee said...

Amy, she will potty train, someday. I can't tell you specifically WHEN, but it will happen, I promise. Until then, try not to kill her, because people frown on that. And by "people", I mean the cops. :)

I am limping. My right foot hurts because (like an old woman) it can sense when rain is coming, and apparently, Noah is gathering livestock somewhere. And it's heading this way. Joy upon joy.

My left foot is hurting because my heel has split in two different places due to horribly dry skin. Both feet hurt. Badly.

This, of course, means that my classroom is the absolute FARTHEST possible place from everywhere I had to be today. I walked about two miles today, between the office, my classroom, and the cafeteria. Two miles I didn't WANT to walk, mind you, with a formerly broken, now -twinge-y right foot, and a left sock filling slowly with blood.

And, then we get notes from Payroll that says they made a "mistake" when calculating our sick time, and changes will be made on our next paychecks. Great.

Can Friday come quickly, please? And can the weekend be a month long?

amy said...

Oh KLee, cracked feet are the WORST. I've had cracked feet since I was pregnant with the be-diapered tot, and it is teh sux. Mine don't often bleed, but they are sharp enough to chew holes in my winter socks. May Friday come quickly for you, my dear.

And thanks to all for the votes! It's nice to be reminded to laugh about potty training, even if I'm the only one in this house laughing aloud right now. (I'm certain the tot is laughing to herself over this. Heck, I'm certain she'd be twisting her evil little mustache, if she had one.)

debangel said...

{{Margalit}} Anything a far-away fellow pixie can do to help? Just email me.

{{scriv}} I'm praying your friend gets a "lucky" break. Man, life is just Teh Suck when a good day is having Stage 1 cancer.

Whine: omg contractors everywhere and my house looks like someone picked it up and shook it. Wait, I live in southern CA, that ain't funny.

Whine: Can't use kitchen and can't have toddler in paint and fiberglass dust-filled house. Must stay out all day and dine out as well. Can't tell if waistbands are getting tight because:

Whine: PMS to the extreme. Why, do you ask? Oh, because as it turns out, I've been on the wrong Pill for the last month. Way more hormone...and two doctors said that the Pill probably caused the symptoms that prompted last week's mammograms.

Antiwhine: Nice to know what caused my symptoms to worsen, plus my pharmacy apologized for their mistake and gave me $60 in GCs, to cover my RX co-pays and mammo co-pays.

Back to packing up filthy messy office since it's getting painted tomorrow. Night pixies!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Tired, just-under-the-line, whine: is it January yet? Please?

I don't get to catch a break until Christmas, and then it won't be much of a break because, you know, Christmas. Family and all that.

It takes a lot for someone with Seasonal Affective Disorder to long for January.

Hugs all around. I only had the energy to skim.

kathy a. said...

heh, the thread's still open!

scriv, i keep thinking of your friend. crossing all appendages for her. inserting the catheter port sounds ugly and horrible, but this really is one of those inventions that makes life a lot easier for people on chemo, because it means no more pokes. ergo, better quality of life.

also keep thinking of the video that liz linked. truly amazing and wonderful.

hugs to klee, debangel, and QoWP.