Monday, May 6, 2013

Redux + Renewal

The biggie is the oldie -- the neverending fireplacing brain-sploding SIL saga.  It's looking like she needs a new care facility.  There continue to be complications with ye olde ex.  Yadda. 

In anti-whines, we had a lovely dinner at my favorite cousins' house!  People should visit with the fun relatives, definitely. 

Our tiny garden grew its own blue potato!  Our first tater, and it's so cute.  We should so something special, right?  Not sure what, so recipe suggestions welcome.

Daughter has a job interview tomorrow -- for a real paying job!

There were big happy deer in the neighbor's yard, and one of them had these biggish 3-prong antlers all covered with perfect velvet.  Just nice to see the beautiful gentle ones so close.

What's up with you?


Miranda said...

Can I have a pre-emptive whine meltdown? I have workplace drama swirling around my head, which has been confirmed, but the exact nature has not. My work bestie and I did a joint tea leaf reading today and we both came to the same most probable conclusion which would seriously erode all hopes of work life balance for the next several months. AW: In a way it is good since it means I am highly regarded professionally and would mean I would eligible for promotional grooming but, um, the timing is not good.

Parenting remains challenging. Mother's Day is a holiday that needs to be banished forever more. Retail therapy FTW today. My new tunic and earrings were awesome and whenever some silly work concern would threaten my Zen, I remembered how good I look in zebra print and everything was all better.

For those eating feelings this week, I pass along some more cheesy bread from the local pizza joint. DF/GF as needed, of course.

esperanza said...

I will join your Mother's Day petition, Miranda.

I know you didn't mean it this way, but "promotional grooming" strikes me as kinda icky. :)

Hooray for retail therapy and cheesy bread. Hard to go wrong with cheese.

Miranda said...

That is better than the actual official term around the office. But your point stands. :)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Hey guys! It's been a while (well, it looks like my comment got eaten last week, and so I'll try again now).

On Wednesday morning we find out if the baby needs surgery on her skull. She had a CT done, to see if any of the sutures sealed prematurely in utero. And the surgery would have to be done around 8-9 months.

I can't really wrap my brain around it, and so, instead, I will distract myself by whining about teething. Because teething: the worst, right? The worst. That tooth had better be solid gold and never bite her mama, for all the trouble it's giving us.

Miranda said...

QWP, Welcome back! Lots of hugs for you and your baby as you deal with teething and surgery. My daughter had horrible teething issues and only cold things soothed her poor gums. And the knowledge that this, too, shall pass.

I understand the comment eating thing. It happens to me regularly, too. I found that I have to make sure I am logged in before I type because otherwise the comment will be eaten forever.


Liz said...

((((QWP)))) Welcome back, but so sorry that your family is dealing with surgery and teething. At the same time.

AW: I am getting positive feedback at work, which is making me feel successful and fulfilled. Even though this career is not what I want to do when I grow up, I'm feeling really good about it right this minute.

W: My bigger pants aren't fitting. I'm NOT going to fall down the rabbit hole of dieting, but I think I do need to visit the briar patch of regular, effective exercise. Even if it doesn't deal with the pants issue.

Liz said...

Potato recipe: Quarter the potatoes, and put them in a roasting pan with olive oil, garlic, kosher salt, and rosemary.

Roast at 400 until browned on the outside and tender on the inside.


Queen of West Procrastination said...

So delicious. I live on those. Also: sweet potatoes, but cut into french fry shapes (and I do 425 instead of 400). We've been eating those 2-3 times a week, since sweet potatoes have been so cheap lately.

(And thanks for the hugs, all! We're having a straight-up gorgeous day outside, and I hope you all are too. Maybe the 27C/81F temperatures will finally melt the last patches of snow!)

Sue said...

QWP!! Welcome back, but so sorry to hear of surgery and teething. Sending good pixie energy and passing the cheesy bread (thanks Miranda!)

kathy a - all appendages crossed and double crossed for your daughter's interview. Continued support and hugs for SIL saga.

I totally add my name to the Pixies Banish Mother's Day petition.

Miranda for an early Mullet nom: "whenever some silly work concern would threaten my Zen, I remembered how good I look in zebra print and everything was all better."

AW: We are getting a new car. Ours is not that old but the warranty is almost up. We bought this car after a complete car-fail when the old van calfed in the middle of the road. I decided then that I would never own another car without a warranty. It's better when the troubles belong to someone else.

So - new wheels - and a great deal on it too! Yay.

esperanza said...

I don't even know how a van would "calf," but it sounds terrible.

QWP, many hugs for you and the little one.

Liz, that is my favorite way to eat veggies of all kinds (not the rosemary, necessarily): zucchini, onions, peppers, tomatoes, sweet potatoes. All are delicious like that.

W: Mornings. Breakfast is "nasty." "No I'm not" going to get dressed. "I can't" take off my pj's. "I don't want to." Rest of the day is manageable, but the mornings, sigh.

Sue said...

esperanza, it wasn't pretty. I heard a series of loud clunks and the van died at a stop light. When I got out of the van, there were engine parts rolling toward the curb. Thus, it calfed, as in - it gave birth to small car parts.

Good times, good times... ya.

kathy a. said...

OK, I'm in on the Mother's Day banishment. (Except for, my fab aunt sent me the most gorgeous card...)

Best on the work stuff, Miranda. Thanks for the restorative cheesy bread! Yay for retail therapy -- you look faaaabulous, dahlink. :)

QWP -- welcome back! Baby congrats! Many hugs and crossed fingers on the dual challenges of possible surgery and teething.

My son needed surgery at 6 months, and it was scary as heck. But if your sweetie pie does need it -- babies are very resilient, and they heal really fast. xoxox

Yay, Liz, about the good work feedback! Rock on with the not-dieting.

Sue, a new car! Your description of the "calfing" event was no doubt traumatic, but it is the funniest automotive news I have heard in a while.

esperanza said...

W: Occupational therapy, in our home, sounded so promising. But it isn't. Therapist isn't catching on to how to manage Sweet. I am doing at least half the work. My presence, and Mini's is--how you say--detrimental to the process. I'm giving it till the end of the school year and then back to the driving. Sigh.

AW: if we choose Option #73485 for school next year, it's 5 days a week and we'll not have time for OT.

kathy a. said...

OT can go to schools! I think. My daughter had speech therapy at her preschool, as I recall.

esperanza said...

She gets speech at school. This is all wrapped up in the delaying kindergarten discussion/decision. OT and PT are only for school if they "impact the educational environment" and some other legal mumbo jumbo. We'll see what the district says, but I'm doubtful that she will qualify.

Anonymous said...

I love it here! It's the only place I can actually find dairy free cheesy bread worth eating!! :)

Hugs to QWP on the surgery issue and teeting.

I'm with you Liz, and will-- because I also must--venture into that briar patch of exercise with you. at some point. soon. really. blah

hugs and calming thoughts to kathy a on the SIL issue. and best wishes to her daughter on the interview!

yay for new cars and new jobs and yummy potatoes
boo for behavior issues, job woes and calving cars. (that's a fun phrase....) :)

For me, I am trying to avoid vertigo which seems to be wanting to sneak in, and trying to maintain my sanity in the face of a busy schedule I said we would never ever have as a family. oh well. i also planned to exercise. ahem.

--Neighbor Lady

Anonymous said...

OOps, my earlier comment should have read "teething" not ...well not what it said. :)
Neighbor Lady

Liz said...

Am furious.

Muffin Man is in our county's Fifth
Grade [Gifted & Talented] program, which he goes to every Tuesday at a different school.

After returning to school today, he discovered that students in
his regular classroom who had completed a homework assignment
with only one wrong answer (or none) had received a piece of candy as a reward. This took place while he was away at [GT]. He asked his teacher if this wasn't unfair since [GT] students weren't present when he distributed the rewards. His teacher's answer was to ask Muffin Man if it wasn't unfair that some students get to do other things like [GT].

[GT] students are not excused
from any work, responsibilities, or obligations that are imposed upon all regular classroom students. He must do the same assignments and meet the same
standards as everyone else, as well as complete his [GT]-related
work. Accordingly, if his description of his interaction with teacher is accurate, his teacher basically told him he was not entitled to the same opportunities for recognition as every other student, just because he does something HIS SCHOOL CHOSE HIM FOR. He basically told MM that he was being deprived of something BECAUSE HE'S EXCELLING AT SCHOOL. He's punishing my son for doing well.

This, in a school that asks that students not hand out invitations to birthday parties at school unless the whole class is invited.

Muffin Man was less upset at not getting the candy than by the fact that this guy who is supposed to be the arbiter of fairness in his class was so blatently unfair to him.

I, however, am wanting to go and punch Mr. Dullard right in the nose.

kathy a. said...

wait, the prize was for doing well on homework, which your son did well? if a kid was out sick and still turned in homework with only one wrong answer, would the teacher say "tough noogies"? cluesticks.

that said, the teacher i hated most was the one who (4th grade) "secretly" threw candy to people she liked. it was not a very charming experience, really, being on the not liked end of things.

Sue said...

Grrrrrrrr Liz - I am right behind you in the queue to punch Mr. D. Unbelievable!

AW: got to hold a fresh baby today - just born last night. The Cute!

kathy a. said...

(( NL )) passing more cheezy DF bread, and fingers crossed for vertigo relief. oy!

Miranda said...

Unofficially, I got the "good" job with more autonomy, less day to day responsibility, heightened senior management awarness, and fewer people to manage. I start once Work Albatross is off my back.

W: Work Albatross. Ugh. Also, my boss is not at all pleased about "giving me up." Her deal, it has been raw but I don't think the team realignment was personally directed at her.

Sue gets my nomination for Mullet this week for cars that calf.

Sue said...

Miranda, sorry about the work Albatross, but unofficial celebrations for the job!!! Yay!!

Sorry to hear about the vertigo NL. Sometimes half a gravol will help for me when I get it.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

NL: Oh dear about the vertigo! I've had it, and it's the very worst. (Mine turned out to be an inner ear infection, but in the meanwhile the doc put me on an anti-vertigo med that included the warning: "If you experience the inability to move your eyes, consult with a physician.")

Huzzah for Miranda's unofficial good news, and sympathies about the Work Albatross.

And a serious cluestick for Liz's son's teacher. Just ridiculous.

So...12 1/2 more hours until I find out if the kid needs surgery. I know that there are positive signs that she won't need it (her head has filled in wonderfully), but you never know, and so I'm nervous.

kathy a. said...

Miranda, that new unofficial job sounds great! Also sorry about the work albatross. And the boss sadness.

Mullet nomination duly noted; may your car never "calf." :)

I am not a well person, where SIL is concerned. The rundown of bad things just this past week or so is enough to make snakes grow through the brain and out of one's head. The fireplacing ex ~~ sputter sputter ~~ is back in the saddle after Quitting Forever just one week ago. And his new idea, same as an old idea, is: beloved and I should just rent her an apartment! All this "supervision" at the care home "upsets" her! HAAAHaHaha ha. There will be no apartment.

My SIL is in terrible shape -- neurologically, psychiatrically, financially, behaviorally. She is seeing a PCP tomorrow -- one she trusts from care up to 2009, the one who first diagnosed dementia 5-6 years ago -- to help manage her care and treatment. Cross fingers. I've done everything in my power to get this doctor information about SIL's recent past and current functioning, including devastating recent medical reports. Facts trump wishes,right?

I am very very grateful to friends who have let me spout and vent with the too tooooo much. xoxo

kathy a. said...

My SIL, that is just what it is. Nobody can "fix" it.

W: My sister, the one I'm closest to, called to ask how I'm doing yesterday. She has not responded when I've briefly mentioned SIL stuff in emails. Briefly, just that stuff was happening.

It turned out that she wanted to talk about how stressful it is, having a high-functioning very accomplished HS junior taking his SAT's and state tests, and worrying about how great a college he will get in to. Using the practice tests in various guides, he did better in one than the other -- what does that mean? (This kid's reasonable choices include Stanford and the UCal's; he has chances basically anywhere.)

The W part is that she "doesn't have room in her brain for SIL's problems." And, I'm certainly not asking her to; really, I could just use some moral support with this family problem. It wasn't that great a conversation.

Liz said...

Sounds like your sister could use to read What Alice Forgot.

kathy a. said...

ooh, great book idea, liz! (for me, too -- need a good re-read.)

Anonymous said...

((((kathy a.))))

Anonymous said...

oops that was me--Neighbor Lady

w: was in the midst of trying to ignore a huge tantrum by Neighbor Boy (who is 9!!!!! come on!!!!!) and so forgot to sign .
He stepped on my foot on purpose. Haven't look to see if he damaged doors upstairs by banging on them.
Scared that this may be something bigger than a phase.

aw: he just apologized.

w: i may be in over my head. Have a list of talk therapy people.

I have to say that I have done talk therapy with Neighbor Girl and it helped a lot with her worries etc. (and some anger) but each time I do it, it sucks so much out of me, because inevitably my childhood comes up too, and I am so so sick of talking about it. Depressed I may have to go there again. And every time something like this happens, I just get so angry at my father again for all the ripple effects he has had.

Who knows, maybe they'll say this is a normal nine year old phase, or maybe it's his anxiety and they'll have some actual tools.

Worrying is just exhausting. Thanks for letting me whine about it.

--Neighbor Lady

Anonymous said...

And Kathy a., even though I did just whine back at you, if you called me in real life, I promise I would just let you vent and listen and not even whine at all.....

:)Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

((( NL ))) oh, NL. it probably is just a tantrum, and maybe the talk people will have some tools if things continue. kids are still growing and there are rougher times -- i'm always in favor of getting some help, if it does not calm down. as parents, we cannot know everything and be everything. but we have to trust that our babies will turn out OK.

we had rough patches with both kids, a very rough one when my son was a teen. sometimes we needed help. and they are OK!

it is really hard when the tantrums bring up old wounds of our own. but i promise, you can and will get through this. xoxo

esperanza said...

((kathy a.))

AW: Two school days in a row, Sweet's teacher (who is an AW in and of herself) has reported that Sweet (with prompting, but still) invited Lonely Girl to play with her on the playground. As much as I'm anxious about her development, there's nothing that pleases me more than hearing that she was kind.

kathy a. said...

yay, sweet!

Anonymous said...

Yay sweet!!!!

And thank you for the hugs esperanza and kathy a.

And, it is always so good to remember that even with rough patches things generally turn out ok.

Thank you.


Queen of West Procrastination said...

Okay, let's see if Blogger eats this comment. (Two have disappeared, and then Blogger thought I was spam for a while? Strange day.)

Big old anti-whine: Li'l E doesn't need surgery! The neurosurgeon says that we don't have to see him anymore, because she's entirely normal! I can't describe how relieved I am.

(((NL))) (((Kathy A)))
And hooray for Sweet! What a good kiddo.

kathy a. said...

this is [maybe] for sure the weirdest anti-whine i've ever written -- but i am hugely relieved that my SIL was just admitted for an emergency psych evaluation. it's where she needs to be.

esperanza said...

yep. If it's what she needs, then that's where she needs to be, for her sake and everyone else's too.

Anonymous said...

oh, kathy a., what a relief. I'm glad she is where she needs to be, and hopefully will be able to get the help she needs.
--Neighbor Lady

liz said...

Amen to that

kathy a. said...

AW: daughter had another job interview yesterday, and it went great! it's with a temp agency, and there is a decent chance that those placements might lead to a job offer.

plus -- last night she was contacted by another place that wants to interview her next week!

plus -- she's been on a low-dose anti-anxiety med for a month now, and it is working! all in all, things have greatly improved for her the past couple weeks.

liz said...


Sue said...

Yay Sweet!

Yay kathy!!!

AW: New car is soooo fabulous. It feels like the true end of my mini-van life. Really. It's so much fun to drive! And the wheelchair fits perfectly in the hatch, so it's all good.

AW: I get extra exercise out of it all too because I park very far away from other vehicles. I am trying to put off that first ding from a shopping cart as long as I possibly can.

kathy a. said...

avoiding that first ding! :) sounds like a great car, sue!

purple_kangaroo said...

Got due date for lil one. Got to see lil one, at 9w 4d gestation, moving little arms and legs and responding to Mommy's chuckle. So exciting.

Due date tells us a lot. Apparently there's a very good reason why manufacturers say not to use oil based products with latex. Consider that my PSA for the day. ;)

Liz said...

Ooh. Good tip.

Yay for healthy fetal photos!!

kathy a. said...

Congrats, PK! xoox

Anonymous said...

My comments keep getting eaten (and then Blogger thought I was spam and briefly suspended my blog! Are my comments getting caught in a spam filter maybe?), so I'm going to try this way.

Big anti-whine: Li'l E doesn't need surgery! She's completely fine, and the neurosurgeon told me that we never need to see him again.

Another anti-whine: My Mother's Day present is that I get this morning off from Mother's Day. I'm going out for breakfast at a coffee house that I frequented as a teen, with an old friend who lost her mother to cancer and is now dealing with infertility. So, we're going to drink coffee, eat GF breakfast foods, and talk about grown up stuff. (I then spend the rest of the weekend doing stuff for my mom, MIL, and a friend who had twins this year.)

Hugs to everyone, and I hope you all survive the weekend well! Congrats and thanks for the useful advice to PK.

-- QWP

Anonymous said...

YaYYYYYY!!!! for QWP and Li'l E!!!!!!

How wonderful to hear that there's no need to come back!
And, the coffee house sounds wonderful!
Neighbor Lady

Sue said...

Yaaaay QWP!!! I'm so happy for you! Not having to see a neurosurgeon again is a Big Anti-Whine for sure.

kathy a. said...

great news, QWP!

there will be some awards later. advance apologies; they are likely to be brief.