Turn, turn, turn.

June is coming to an end, and July beginning. What whines and anti-whines are on your mind as you flip the calendar page, Pixies?

Awards!

Amy wins a Style Award for her tribute: "Speaking of Made Of Awesome, Liz - they should bow and declare they aren't worthy, but that would take up the time they need to be out ringing doorbells."

Liz earned the Mrs. Smug Campaigner, Queen of the Doorbells Award for her tireless campaign skillz! Ninety-five doors in one night, folks. SHE'S FIRED UP!!!!!!

Debangel wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her pregnancy lament: "Back in a 34FF..is there a "Zoned for Dairy" award?" Runner up is Liz, who responds: "And speaking from the land of Ginormous, I understand how you're FFeeling."

Remembering What It's All About Awards to our nursing mamas, Amy and Sarah at ratatat. Best with gentle weanings, or not-weanings. And Sarah, crossing fingers that the perfect job comes your way.

Apply Head to Brick Wall Award to Sue, who bore the brunt of a family's anger and quittingness after they (the family) miscommunicated and then blamed the church. Sue also wins an Angel in a Time of Heartache Award, for being there when a family so badly needed her.

Purple Kangaroo wins the SPCA Award for excellent pet care in the face of adversity -- the specific adversity being her crazy neighbor, who is most likely the one who reported her to Animal Control on bogus claims. The Cluestick Posse is once again headed to the neighbor's house. And people, this was just after her father-in-law died! Much love and many hugs, PK.

Miranda shall henceforth be known as She Who Slays the Ants. She shared with us the trick of boiling water, to the awe of many other ant-infested Pixies.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted Award to Elizabeth, who is in a packing / cleaning / organizing whirlwind while her beloved is in a funk for unrelated reasons. Hugs also to Elizabeth, who is understandably shaken after the horrible metro crash. We are glad you are safe, but a bit shaken ourselves.

Intrepid Traveler and Master Ironer Award to Madeleine, who first checked in from the airport before her red-eye, and later reported a major frenzy of ironing name tags into camp clothes, tossing stuff in duffles, locating things still to go in the washer, etc.

Ouchy Toofs Begone Award to JenR, whose sweetie-pie is refusing to eat because of a massive onslaught of new teeth. Poor guy! Passing the popsicles and milkshakes.

Wise Scholar Award to our own wonderful KLee, who is back in college this summer!

Condolences to all those suffering this week from sleeplessness, sleepiness, family relations issues, ants, Ball of Stress jobs, cleaning marathons, failures to communicate, dysfunctional work situations, financial stress, coughing, loss and worry, friends in distress, anxiety, behindness, cleaning other people's pet output and not even getting thanked, those contemplating ant massacres with dreamy expressions on their faces, and co-workers with attitude problems, among other things.

See you next week, when our host will be the talented Dr. Redzils!

Stick a Fork in Me Edition

Been on total work overdrive lately due to several deadlines, and also that part where I got behind earlier on the Monster Project. The rest of the month looks about the same. It's not nearly dark yet, and I'm ready to curl up and fall asleep.

We did manage a Father's Day dinner with the whole family, but my beloved, aka "Dad," did the BBQ part himself. (Which, OK, he likes to do, but I still feel like a slug.)

On the anti-whine end, we have a breakthrough. One of our formerly feral cats -- Spottie, who sometimes lets me pet him when he sleeps on my legs, but under no other circumstances -- asked me for some skritching this morning!

What's the news in your world?

Awards!!! Hooray for ointment edition

MM's eye is all cleared up! Yay!


Now to the prizes, which will be brief tonight 'cause I'm bushed.

Old Skool, by popular acclaim, goes to amy for "just sat here for 6 minutes, waiting for the local forecast, and missed it"

Whine of Substance goes to prodigal whiner DevilMacDawg. We're glad to have you back, but are sorry about the fireplacing cancer. If good wishes could cure it, you wouldn't have to go for any other treatment. We are all sending healing thoughts to you.

kathy a. wins the Style Award for her stylin':

"i am about to go back out in my nightgown and a sweater, and to perhaps be more cranky"

You are my hero.

Miranda wins the Awesome Parenting Award for her "Anti-whine: They love their new money earning system and I love off-loading things that stress me out like meal prep and planning to those who think it much more funner." Her kids are shopping and cooking, yo!

You, too, are my hero.

purple_kangaroo wins the Miss Manners Conundrum Award for a sticky situation: How do you nicely tell the drunk neighbor to keep his hands and opinions away from your kids if he's a peach when he's sober?
I think the answer may involve a cluestick posse. But I think that your idea of letting the wife know is a good one.

We are hauling out the cluestick posse to send over to Sue's congregation. What with the refusal to change the call to a 30-hour week, the fireplacing wedding rehearsal that went over two hours, and the parents of the kids at the rehearsal who neglected to tell their little darlings

"that throwing Bibles to each other in church is bad form"

Let's repeat that. Throwing. BIBLES. in. CHURCH.

WHAT THE FIREPLACE????

And last, but certainly not least, we are sending the Silver Scissors Award to Name Under Development, whose stylist completely changed NUD's hairstyle WITHOUT ASKING FIRST. Because she "got bored". BORED??? I'm guessing NUD's stylist was a kid whose parents let her throw Bibles in church.

Apologies to KLee for inadvertently handing her title to Madeleine. You are the one and only Reluctant Prophet, KLee.

And that's it for this week, folks. Tune in next week when your host will be...um...cough...Does anyone want to host next week kathy a!!!

Wednesday Whining: Madeleine is a prophet edition

Q: Your child exhibits the first signs of pink-eye on a Saturday, what time is it?
A: 10 minutes after the doctor's office closed until Monday.

Thus, Saturday evening saw us back in the ER.

AW: The hospital near and named for the LovelyTownCenterWithAnOutdoorIceRink is really top-notch. We were in and out of their ER in under an hour-and-a-half, including intake and discharge.

AW: so far, MM is the only one who's got it. I'm keeping all appendages crossed that it'll stay that way.

W: He's not allowed to go to school until Tuesday and Monday is Math Game Day - there will be weeping.

At first we thought it was an unusually (for him) intense allergy attack - seeing as how Friday was field day and he'd been extra congested all evening. By five o'clock, however, it was clear that a) one eye was worse than the other and b) it now looked exactly like all the cases of pink-eye I had as a kid. And so, after an over the phone consult with our pediatrician, and calling around to various urgent care places to discover that they are all only open 9-5, M-F, we went off to the friendly ER and were treated beautifully.

And we've used more bleach and hot water in my house this past month than the whole year previously

All of which is to say, Sarah at Ratatat? I'm there with you.

Nothing but the finest

What a week, what a week! Nowhere else on the intertubes will you find such a fine variety of whines and anti-whines.
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Many thanks for the sympathy about my household poop problem, the sibling angst, and computer woes. My sweetie must really love me, because he did a deep cleaning of the disgusting bathroom where the cat had been incarcerated. Of course, I lost one of my last 2 good towels to the bleach, but it was worth it.
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Sue wins the Style Award / Musical Division for her ode to the litter box: *Just get me to the box on time* lalalalala
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Klee wins the Style Award / Prose Division for: "I gotta figure that every day I'm not taking the Great Dirt Nap is a good day. So, yeah -- I'll count being alive among the anti-whines these days."
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Morton Salt Award to Klee, who is enduring an Ugly Work Situation, did not get the promised scholarship for summer courses, is still sick, needs surgery on this thing on her neck, and almost overdosed on migraine meds. Aaaaack! Congratulations on going back to school, though! Hope things improve swiftly.
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Walking Flu Factory Award to Neighbor Lady, who complains of a Fireplacing Parent at school who brought Sick Kids to Field Day, even though they were not allowed in school, so they could "cheer their friends on." Thanks a lot for sharing, Fireplacing Parent! Same for the Fireplacing Parent at Amy’s daughter’s dance class. Cluesticks have been dispatched.
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Continuing Adventures of the Creeping Crud Awards to Purple Kangaroo, who is still coughing and might have bruised a rib, such is the fun she is having; and Sarah at Ratatat, whose baby has pink eye again, and "I am not going to catch it this time." Sending healing thoughts to you both, and everyone else who has been dealing with that stuff that’s going around.
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All-Mommy-All-the-Time Award to Amy, whose baby and rising kindergartener are stuck to her like glue. Crossing fingers that the Scary Dude situation from last week is resolving.
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Work Blues Awards to Liz, for "Remind me why I'm here, again? I mean, at work? I think it has something to do w/ money, but it's a piss-poor motivator today," and to Sue, who keeps getting calls to do stuff while she is on her fireplacing vacation.
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Grit and Bear It Award to Sarah at Ratatat, for this excellent whine:
"Whine: I was good and signed up to help with the last day of school fun at my my daughter's school. And they assigned me dodgeball! Is there no justice, fairness or love in the universe? Have I ruined my karma? Who plays dodgeball? I hate this game. I am not a big fan of playground games and sort of assumed that there would be an indoor part. Or a general helper part. I have been hoping for rain all morning - then I get pictionary, a game I like."
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Edited To Add: Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Madeleine, for, "I don't like pets, either. We got fish, but they aren't cuddly, so now my daughter wants a dog. Sorry, no. No way am I taking on that kind of workload for anything that doesn't call me "Mama." I'm obviously a lost cause about pets, what with the cats and dogs [and previously, rats, fish, even a tarantula], but you've got a point!
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Air-Weary Traveler Awards to Madeleine, who reported in from an airport, and Elizabeth, who is suffering jet lag after a whirlwind trip.
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Brain Be Gone Award to Sue, who feels awful she forgot a coffee date with a friend.
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Election Elation Awards to Liz and Elizabeth.
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Thanks for playing! Next week's host is TBA.

Pushme - Pullyou

Maybe I'm dating myself, but what the fireplace -- do you remember the fantastic animal from the Dr. Doolittle books? [Don't tell me about the movie/s; I vaguely remember the books, which I borrowed one after another from the public library.]

On the one hand, there is work pressure enough to choke a horse, and that's what I'll be doing the next few days, and my excuse for posting early. On the other hand, next weekend is a big reunion of my class at a fairly small college, and so right now, I'm all caught up in some party prep and reaching out, hoping that I'll see some great friends even though our everyday lives have rather drifted.... On the third hand, my delicate blind cat's digestive system went to hell again, so home life this weekend involves poop removal and the baby food diet [rice cereal with jarred chicken], which in turn involves locking The Duke of Earl in the bathroom and instituting feeding times, so Earl can't eat the dry food and the rest don't eat his special diet, all of which is wildly unpopular with the resident felines.

What's the whining and anti-whining with you?

Urgent Care Edition

This week’s Theme Prize goes to Madeleine, who announces: "All pixies, please report to Urgent Care, Stat. If you aren't already sick, chances are you will be soon." Sending healing thoughts to all Pixies and their loved ones who are suffering.
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Stay Put Award to Esperanza! Pixies fully endorse the orders of the Grandma reinforcements, to keep her butt planted firmly on the couch.
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Hello, It’s MY Body Award to Liz, who had an MRI in the hospital and was only told – casually – of a worrisome abnormality when seeing the second doctor post-discharge. The Cluestick Posse has saddled up, and has a few messages for medical personnel. Also hoping the lack of urgency is a good sign.
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Ouchy, Ooochie Award to Ucellina, who was la la la just fine until mastitis crept into her right boob, along with chills and the yuckies. Wishing you a quick quick recovery!
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Influenza and Bronchitis and OCD, Oh My! Award to Purple Kangaroo, with a critical mass of personal ailments and Other People pontificating on her daughter’s treatment options. Feel better soon! And hooray for the in-laws coming to help tackle some things for you!
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Welcome Back and Mazel Tov Award to Debangel, who returns after a small break with an abundance of news: She’s pregnant, and engaged! She has walking pneumonia! And sadly, her dad has Alzheimer’s, and brother problems. Much love, Deb.
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Old Skool Award to investigative pixie Amy, who reports: "I'm mad at Florida Natural (the juice company) because the only juice they offer that is, in fact, 100% juice is orange juice. The seven other varieties of Florida Natural juice in the vending machine at my school are all 10-30% juice, the rest High Fructose Corn Syrup. But, I shouldn't complain and I shouldn't doubt. I'm sure they have lush orchards of HFCS trees on their farms."
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This Modern World Award to Liz, who complains: "Have to refill out paperwork I filled out a few months ago in an un-saveable format." We have been there and done that.
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Incoming Loss of Innocence Award to Madeleine, who reports fine underarm hair and fears the beginning of the end of snuggliness.
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Family Angst Award to Sarah at Ratatat, who wonders when her brother will stop pushing her buttons. To which, a chorus of Pixies are nodding their heads, wondering about their own sibs and how to reinforce the boundaries.
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Safety First Award to Amy, who must remove a student from her class because he is scaring everyone with violent talk and creepiness. Hope he gets some serious help. But good for you, protecting the other students as well as the sanity of the teachers.
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Temporary House of Doom Award to Esperanza, who anticipates not only boxes aplenty in storage, but also no internet. Let’s repeat that: No. Internet. Oh, the humanity....
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Congratulations to Sue, who has [cross fingers] worked out a health-preserving solution to the terms of her service!
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Thanks to the Pixies thinking supportive thoughts for my daughter. I’d tell her, except that this is my secret hideout, so I’ll just let the good vibes do their work.
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See you next week!

June, already.

Let the whining and anti-whining begin!