Amy captures the spirit of the week graciously: "wow, a lot of big stuff this week, a lot of worry about our loved ones. if i had the perfect balm to heal these pixie souls, i'd share it. all i have, though, is some virtual amish friendship bread. would you all like it vanilla or butterscotch?"
Condolences to Margalit and Sara on their losses, and on the angst still flowing from the newly departed. Pixie thoughts are with you.
Crossed Pixie Fingers Award to JenR, whose little one had ear tube surgery. Glad to hear things are better!
Hormones Aplenty, Hormones Galore Award to Esperanza, who finds that even a wisp of hair and her glasses are conspiring to irritate her these days.
Exploding Head Award to Klee; we all hope that migraine goes away and stays there.
Madeleine wins the Old Skool Award for her classic whine about pimples: "You know what I hate? Pimples that won't get better but they won't get worse. At least when a pimple gets worse you know you are moving along toward healing. The fireplacing unchanging painful under-the-skin pimples make me crazy."
Meeting, Shmeeting Award to Sue, who has fireplacing workshops during her vacation. Many good healing thoughts for her Ouzo, currently in the kitty hospital.
CuteCuteCute Award to Liz, who reports "liddle baybee foxes!!! Right outside my office building!!! Five of them!" Sue wins a coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her response: "Foxes!!!! (I have this image suddenly of Steve Martin in polyester pants from SNL in the 70s)."
Bed Inspection Award to Redzils, who was offered a place to stay with an old family friend, but only if her boyfriend from 4,000 miles away (or the apparently suspected hundreds of them) never darkens their doorstep. Thanks, old family friend! Geesh. Liz also earns an Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her response, "Redzils, sounds like they need a rectal polectomy."
The What’s So Great About Technology Award to Madeleine, whose mom just got Skype. Sympathy, too, to Genevieve, who sees this horror approaching and is already strategizing to hide the eye rolls during parental calls.
Grading Hell Award to Amy, who is DONE with the grading! But had to flunk all the miscreants who think their teacher is too stupid to know about the Google and the cut-n-paste function of computers.
Long-Distance Mama Award to Elizabeth, who must travel on Mother’s Day.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms in Pixieland! May your toast be unburned, and your beloveds warm your hearts.
Thanks for playing! See you again next week!
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14 comments:
Thank you, thank you.
I'm warming up next week's whine already. As a preview, I'll let you all know that I'm writing to the Office of the President of my internet provider. I will give dates and times and I will not take "swap out your modem" for an answer.
oh, i'm all behind internet provider bashing! also, i'm back to wanting to shoot my computer and/wind0ws vist@.
it took me about 24 hours, but now I'm laughing at "polectomy." Funny!
Thanks kathy a. - Great awards!!
Ouzo might come home tonight! We have to see the results of his x-rays first, then we'll go from there...
lest anyone worry, i didn't think any of us was interested in a spam ad for acne meds.
I missed the whining, and I'm posting anonymously for (probably) obvious reasons, but I'd appreciate any thoughts and prayers anyone can send my way.
Cause for alarm: Hearing the words "run away or kill myself" come out of a young child's mouth.
Can'tTell, I am sending my thoughts and my prayers to you and your young one.
((( can't tell ))) i'm so sorry, how very frightening.
how old is this young child? i remember rarely hearing things like this, and thinking that [a] the child definitely had things on his/her mind, but [b] the child in question was testing the power of language, in part, without fully understanding why those words are so heartstopping.
even young kids can feel terrible sometimes, or angry, and they don't necessarily have tools to sort those feelings out or put them into language so they can be discussed. so, you might try calmly talking it out in small chunks.
there were a couple of times when we consulted child therapists on a short-term basis. both times, the focus was on identifying feelings and learning to talk about them. those little interventions really ratcheted down the anxiety for everyone.
xoxoox
p.s. -- can't tell, i don't think the occasional blow-out meltdown is all that unusual. parents are more likely to chat about how their junior einstein invented a car out of recyclables than how they lost it last week and threatened to burn the house down, though.
i'm not saying you should ignore it, even if you could get that stabbing feeling out of your heart. it is obviously unacceptable to have someone get in the habit of threatening suicide to get one's way -- and obviously a parent wants to resolve whatever is going on behind the outburst, because we want things to go well for our kids. please don't feel shy about seeking some backup, if needed.
apologies if i wrote too much. i think the hardest parts of parenting are not talked about much, so we all feel isolated when something worse comes up than an irritating obsession with TtFTE, or the need to wear a cape at all times, or those hundred other cute things.
Thanks, Kathy. The child is 8, and there have been a lot of over-the-top reactions to minor things for a long time. Also some difficulties with interpreting social signals, explosive anger, tendencies to be obsessive about things being exactly just-so, and, oh, too much stuff to list.
The comment was in the context of being frustrated at inability to control own behavior and explosive outbursts. There was no indication that there was a plan or the child was actually on the verge of doing anything dangerous at the moment--it was more a statement of frustration that "I can't stop myself from behaving this way, it's too hard, (and the gentle/logical consequences from parents aren't fixing it), and so I feel like giving up."
We've been talking to a number of professionals (I've lost count of the number of phone calls I've made this week), and the general consensus seems to be that the child needs a full physchologigal (or is it phschyciatric?) evaluation. But the specialists who do the type of evaluation we need (asperger's has been mentioned a number of times, as has OCD and other alphabet-soup terms) are far and few between and have very long waiting lists.
So far the earliest appointment we've found is the end of Sept. We have an appointment and are on a cancellation list to get bumped up if possible, but we are also pursuing other options and may do some more play therapy or something like that in the mean time (which we've done before, but the play therapist thinks the child needs more help than that--but was able to verify that there wasn't anything like abuse going on, which was good. It's something going on within the child's brain and not from external circumstances, the therapist thinks).
Today we're having a difficult day because we're not doing something we normally do on Fridays, and the child is having a very difficult time processing that it's different from normal/what was expected, even though the change was not unexpected and had been discussed ahead of time.
Can'tTell, sending hugs and good thoughts from far away.
I hope you find some help sooner than September. That's a long time to carry this pain without feeling you are working to find answers. But I think you'll be working the problem, one way or another, just as you have been all along. More hugs.
(((( can't tell )))) how very frustrating, all around. september for the first appointment! that feels like forever. but it really sounds like you are doing everything you can to wend your way through this mess. xoxo day at a time; step at a time.
i'm so sorry that your sweetie is feeling so distraught about his/her outbursts. it sounds like you are setting appropriate limits and working with natural consequences, which is all good, but also trying to negotiate how unconditional love fits into the picture, because he/she also needs that desperately. which is quite a juggling act, to be honest -- you may be recalculating minute by minute, hour by hour, taking the whole mix into account.
sending love and strength and hugs as your family works through this hard patch. also, cluesticks to anyone who badgers you with an internet Rx, "just do this," because if there was a one-step fix, you would have found it already.
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