Red Carpet Edition!

Welcome Pixies of the Academy and friends! We have a star-studded ceremony this morning, featuring only the finest in whines.

This week's Style Award, Musical Division goes to the fabulous Liz, for her composition "Lactation" (based on the GoGo's "Vacation"). Let's all sing the chorus:

Lactation

All I ever wanted

Lactation

But now it's gone too far

Lactation

I thought it would be gone.

The Style Award, Prose Division is presented to KLee, who laments:

And the Lord saith: "Let there be no hurling, for it is unclean! Let those of ye who hath hurled find solace! Be not afraid, and trust in the power of Ginger Ale." Here endeth the lesson. Go in peace, and serve the Lord.

I offer up praises to the Almighty Lord, who, in his wisdom, created both the saltine AND the Ginger Ale. Blessed be his holy name, Amen.

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Sara wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her battlefield reporting of the Redcoat Encampment on a 10 hour drive: "Not fun, what with the cramps and the wondering if my redoubts and earthworks would keep the Redcoats from breaking through my defenses until the next rest area..."

Because 4,000 miles is too damned far, Dr. Redzils wins the Wow, This is One Big Country Award, along with any spare frequent pixie flyer miles. Best with the big move!

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Speaking of moving, Esperanza wins an OMG The Boxes, They Are Endless! Award. Many pixie hugs as you work through this ordeal, now with added hormones and relatives!

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Wayward Hormones were a big hit this week; tiny little cluesticks to those afflicting Pixies, including Esperanza, Liz, Margalit, and Sara.

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Bodily Fluids were also huge; wishing relief to affected Pixies, including Klee, Liz, Margalit, and Sara.

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The next best thing to bodily fluids is a wet basement; therefore, Madeleine wins the Bucket Brigade Award. Also for Madeleine, the Wakeup Call from Hell Award for her report on news you don't want to hear before coffee.

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Returning Traveler Awards to Sue and Amy.

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Ruminent Rats Award to Sara, whose local deer took out her peonies overnight.

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Waaa, I'm Toooo Tired Awards to Esperanza and Sue.

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Wonders of Social Networking Award to Amy, who whines: "Oh noes! My mom just joined Facebook." Condolances also to Amy, who attended a memorial service; but we're glad you reconnected with an old friend.

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Sympathies to all the Pixies also suffering from, among other things: heat, cold, stormy weather, sickness, school vacation, children, relatives, outlaws, pets, internet crazies, taxes, aches and pains, too much to do, packing, unpacking, laundry, grading, deadlines, food intolerances, and the need to find a sublet and/or cave.

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Thanks for playing! See you next week, when the host will be the fabulous and talented TBA!

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UPDATE: Next week's host is the ever-gracious Madeleine!