Hi Pixies -
It's early Tuesday here. I'm still on cloud nine over my big accomplishment last week, an anti-whine I expect to last many weeks, but I have to ask: must morning come so early?
I hope you are all well rested, perfectly healthy, and too busy rolling in rose petals to need to whine. Somehow, though, I kind of doubt it's been that sort of week for every last one of us, so let's hear 'em, Pixies. What's bugging you?
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Snuggly Girl and I completely agree with you on the topic of morning and its earliness.
Ditto on early mornings.
Here is my whine in two parts
Thursday last: Co-worker, who is in limbo with me, but will not be working with me when we leave limbo, came by my cubicle. "Hi!" I said. "Shhh!" she said. Turns out her boss and her boss's boss had just gone into the conference room next to my cube and shut the door. She wanted to sit in my cube and try to hear them.
Seriously.
"You can't hear anything from the conference room. And why do you even care?"
"I'm just curious!"
(picture me glaring)
"Oh well! I can't hear them!" and she walked away.
The next day, Friday: She comes by my cube again.
"Look," I say. "What you did yesterday made me really uncomfortable. I would prefer that you not use my cubicle to try to overhear other people."
My friends, pixies, what do you think she did?
If you guessed that she got completely defensive and mean-spirited, you win the prize.
I really really really hope that I don't have to work with her at all when we leave limbo.
yay -- DR. redzils!
uck, liz. your co-worker is a prize, right down to the defensiveness.
i have a whine of stupid family dynamics. one of my good sisters is generous and kind and super-organized, and she does not have an "off" switch. and she is unemployed, so she has lots of time to identify problems and fix them. which i'm sure helps her feel better during the stressful period of limbo.
however, she adopted *my* weight and fitness as a problem that *she* needed to fix, so she got me a pedometer. and i said thanks, but i really do not do well with pressure about my weight, and no way am i going to report my step counts. "no pressure!" she said. HA. a few days later she emailed my husband asking which of 2 kinds of walking shoes would be better for me. he wisely decided not to touch that with a 10 foot pole, and ratted her out to me.
anyway, baby sister is extremely pissed that i asked the other sister she enlisted in the footwear project to call her off gently. i "went behind her back." and she IS NOT pressuring me, but i am just too stupid to pick "proper footwear," apparently, and she will never understand me, and damned right i have "issues."
there are 4 or 5 other things she has endeavored to fix in my life lately, either by buying things or issuing detailed instructions of what i must do, or make other people do. i've been letting it go since she means well. but i seriously do not appreciate having a drill sergeant on the subject of my personal fitness; and as with liz' co-worker, expressing my discomfort only led to an outburst. sigh.
p.s. -- it is unkind to speak ill of the departed, but a more global whine is that our mother did a number on each and every one of us. the above whine is a collision of factory-installed quirks. among other things, i was the disgusting fat one; baby sister was designated the stupid one who would never amount to much. both labels were lies, by the way, but here we are a few decades later, getting into snits because we both still have sore spots.
kathy a, I am so sorry. At least I can stop engaging with my co-worker, you're stuck.
Ick.
Anti-whine: I just got back from my annual gyn exam and told the NP that I'm still leaking 6 years post weaning and SHE TOOK SOME BLOOD!!! Woot! I guess it's a good thing my old OB moved without telling anyone, eh!
I nominate kathy a. for Mullet for "factory installed quirks." Also, lots of hugs to you for getting angst from one of the "good sisters."
And liz for Silver Lining for the good that comes of a disappearing OB. Let's hear it for medical professionals who don't dismiss our concerns but actually check to see if something needs changing.
wow. liz brings the bodily fluids! glad you're getting some action from the new docs.
i want to report that whining works!! baby sister just IM'd with news that she has a second interview tomorrow!
so, um -- nevermind about my long whine. i guess we are speaking again. any suggestions about what offerings the employment fairies prefer are welcome.
That's the thing about good sisters -- they get over it quicker probably.
I believe Lisa V. created a tradition of sacrificing pets/neighbor's pets/stuffed animals for job interview luck. I can offer up a bagful from Snuggly Girl's closet.
Just stopping by briefly to say that the service for the baby went as well as it could have. The parents have a lot of grieving ahead of them. So sad.
Whine: This week I'm bringing the Early Old Skool whine (I just realized it isn't Wednesday yet). Me? I'm bringin' the barf.
Blech.
I hate me some barfin' - now I'm heading back to bed - also known as Gravol City.
Back tomorrow with more fun...
(((((((((( sue ))))))))))) xoxox
(((Sue)))
Further whine. Just happened two minutes ago:
Co-worker just came over here saying "about that conversation Friday? Those words you used were slanderous and don't you ever talk to me like that again, EVER.. EVER. You hear me?"
Then she walked away. With me saying, "hey, lady, you're the one who was misusing MY cubicle."
Now I'm waffling. I wasn't going to tell any higher-ups about this, but I'm wondering now if I should.
holy canolli, liz. i would take that as a threat -- or at least, very undecent workplace behavior.
one of my regrets from an old job when i had supervisorial superpowers is: i did not hear about some harassment until a couple of years later. i didn't directly supervise the person harassed, but i did supervise the harasser. and i would have liked to kick his sorry butt, except he had left by the time i found out. i felt terrible that the person who was harassed didn't feel comfortable telling anyone at the time.
you probably even have an HR office -- you can start there, or tell anyone senior whom you trust.
Thanks, Kathy. I think I will.
Wow, the whines are off to a early and award-winning start. Funerals and barf do not belong in the same paragraph, Sue. Yuck.
Antiwhine: the bra shopping is complete. And the salesperson was very very helpful. After I convinced her I *did* know what band size I needed, however unlikely it sounded.
Whine: still and all, it was bra shopping.
I'll probably be back tomorrow with some more.
And Liz, I don't know squat about workplace politics, but I'd think it might be good to protect yourself from whatever she might be saying about you to the higher-ups. Sheesh.
Liz, sounds like your coworker is a bit unbalanced. The fact that she was trying to eavesdrop on her superiors using YOUR cube is enough to get her fired, I think. What a douchebag.
HUGE WHINE a comin'
My freaking el-cheapo landlord, you know, the one that never fixes anything and charges me if we have to call the plumber? Well she has refused to allow me to install Fios cable or any other type of wired TV access into the house. At first she said I would have to pay for the electrician to pay for the wiring, and then left a message via her son that I was not allowed to have any cable installed.
We have two TVs that will not work after Feb 17th, expired certificates for the converter boxes and no converter boxes to buy.
We have one HD-TV that will work but this is going to suck. TOTALLY.
I'm sick...again. Or still. I just don't know anymore. I have a cardiologist appt tomorrow and of course the driveway is still not plowed.
And speaking of plowing, I asked my landlord to PLEASE have the plow guy do a better job and he gave me this big song and dance about how I'm responsible for not only digging out my car, but the walkways as well. We've been here 4 winters and have never had to do the walkways before.
I want to move so badly, but the $$ situation isn't going to allow it. The thing is, if I move nobody is going to move in here because the rent is SO high, and rents have fallen a lot in our area. Plus, house is not even close to up to code and it needs a TON of work to get it there. In our state, if you call the health dept and they find code violations, your landlord cannot evict you for 6 months. I'm thinking of calling them in March, and making them do all the repairs they refuse to do.
oh, margalit -- yuckity yuck. i heard that the TV switchover is likely to be postponed to 6/12 via house vote tomorrow, so maybe that will help.
I had a colossal internet-shopping snafu happen. I went online to the Girl Scout store to find a few things I needed, and saw some uniform pieces for Offspring on sale. I tried to order them, but got an error message, and it said to try back later. So I did. Five times total. I finally had to call the Customer Service line to order what I wanted.
Fast forward to Friday evening when all FIVE orders that gave me errors showed up on my doorstep. So, I'm in the hole for more than $400 bucks.
But, the antiwhine is that it's on a credit card, and I'll get it all back. It will take some time, but it'll happen.
In other news, JF just told me that we might see snow flurries late tonight/early tomorrow morning. This is a Big Fat, Hairy Deal here in the tropics. They might close school, maybe. (Please, God, let them close school! I need a day off in the worst kind of way.)
KLee, there is no way you are on the hook for anything, including return shipping. They should take full responsibility. Tell 'em I said so.
Wishing I could send a substantial portion of our snow down to you!
A whiny haiku:
Turning eleven
Her father will drive four states.
Pay for trip I must.
early vote for miranda, for style. i keep drafting more comments, but will await further information.
Aaaaaannnnnndddddd....she came by my desk one last time to say that she's talked to all the other PMs and they all think I'm a slacker.
"Considering the source, I'll take that with a grain of salt," I replied.
If she comes back tomorrow for more, I'll tell her that my next call WILL be to HR. And I will do it.
She actually has to go out of her way by a lot to come by my desk. I'm in a corner far away from everything except the conference room she wanted to eavesdrop on. Her desk is 4 rows away on the opposite side.
liz, she is toxic. but do get thee to HR in the a.m. don't threaten; she'll escalate. we'll sing with you, next time she comes around: "LA LA LA LA LA, sorry i can't talk, very busy."
Will do.
Did. I put in a call to the ethics hotline, left a message. Waiting for a call-back.
Talked to her boss's boss.
The one she tried to eavesdrop on.
Holy Moly Liz. That's just awful. Time to file a complaint. Really.
Anti-whine: I think the barfs are over. I had a good enough sleep last night that I came into the office.
Whine: Our secretary is away so I'm on phone duty as well as....well, everything else.
Whine: I kicked what I thought was dirty ice off the bottom of my van this morning. It wasn't ice - it was the van. A rusty part. Yes, my van is beginning to give birth to various parts of itself in parking lots now. *sigh*
Ethics called me back. They're escalating it to HR.
I'm living in a soap opera.
Oh, liz. I hope the ethics people know how to handle this so it doesn't blow back at you. You are brave and strong.
Sue, I hope the phone stays quiet for you today. And your tummy.
Margalit, would it be the least bit possible to try to negotiate lower rent if the rest of the community has dropped their rates?
Liz - oh lordy, dealing with a toxic co-worker is bad enough without one directly confronting you over HER own bad behavior. Good for you for contacting the ethics hotline (and good for your company for having such a thing). Document, document, document your interactions with her. Keep us posted.
Hugs to kathy a. (and good wishes and stuffed animal sacrifices for your fix-it sister to get a job so she has other projects to concern her), Sue, and margalit.
do y'all think a stuffed chicken that dances and plays the "chicken dance" would be a good offering? it's the only employment-related stuffed animal that i have, a prize of sorts. no, i cannot explain the context, sadly -- although i will point out that the big boss proudly displayed a rubber chicken in his office for a while, so it was not totally peculiar in that workplace.
on the other hand, baby sister's career path probably is more along the lines of a cube farm where decorative poultry is discouraged. maybe i'll go for the lucky cat instead.
margalit -- possible good news. The DTV transition was delayed until June and I am told that they will "issue, upon request, replacement coupons for each coupon that expires without being redeemed."
I don't know if that means "issue to the person who's coupon expired" or "issue to a new person" but it might just solve your problem. Also there are hotlines being set up to help consumers, including consumers with disabilities, so there might be some help there in advocating for new coupons.
whose, not who's.
First-how did it get to be Wednesday? I thought was early and I am nearly late.
Second, I ate too much lunch and now I have indigestion. Yuck.
Oh Liz, what a terrible co-worker. Good luck with the ethics line. And may post-limbo separate you forever.
KathyA-I was fully of righteous indignation on your behalf, but I'll settle for sending you best wishes through his trying time. And maybe a career in shoes for her?
Congrats Dr. Redzils!
KLee, Hope the excess girl scouts supplies are returned without a problem.
Margalit - your landlord gives landlords a bad names. Hope your complaint to the state pays off.
Style points to Miranda.
Glad to read you're not barfing any longer, Sue. A pleasant recovery, quiet phones and all the pieces of your van staying on your van.
I think I have an anti-whine this week...the baby, who had an ear infection cold thing, is better. She is getting louder than the quiet sleeping smiling lump she was for these 4 months. She's not fussy, just into singing. But I have to say, I feel so lucky that she has been easy. Because when she is more demanding, the whole applecart of life is upset. And when she cries, the older kids freak out.
Liz, you left us hanging... what happened?
Whine: Really tired. Ought to do PTA newsletter tonight, but just not up to it. Between exercise plan and work, have nothing left over.
Antiwhine: Obama signed the SCHIP (kids' health insurance) reauthorization.
Whine: Afraid that stimulus is about to blow up, or at least that some of the programs I care about will get pushed under the bus.
Antiwhine: Going to bed.
We've decided to get our daughter's tongue tie corrected, but to do it will require general anesthesia. I'm excited about the thought of her eating problems improving, but I dread getting her ready for the surgery. (She's 4.5 years.) You all are always a font of wisdom. Any input?
i guess if i'm going to ask for help, i ought to at least include an email address.
amy at thetextureofthings dot com
thanks for any ideas you have!
So far so good. HR hasn't called back yet but should by Friday the latest.
Eavesdropper didn't show her face to me all day yesterday, so I'm guessing her boss's boss told her to stay away.
I'm fine with that.
amy -- i'd suggest just keeping your explanation simple and upbeat. not making a big deal out of it at all. we didn't have that procedure, but daughter had tubes put in her ears a few times before kindergarten. the only thing harder than seeing your tot wheeled off to the O.R. is seeing your tot hysterical before being wheeled off. [which happens sometimes anyway....]
the anesthesia made my daughter barf every time, after she woke up. but a couple hours, and she was good as new. good luck!
Amy, I wish I had some wisdom, but my son had his surgery so long ago that I'm sure everything is different now anyway. (He's almost 27 and was 4 when he had surgery for an undescended test*cle).
He was fine with the anaeshetic and the post-op nurses were great about making him comfortable and encouraging him (and me) about well he had done. They did sedate him slightly prior to surgery, but they didn't really need to. He was pretty cool about the whole thing, now that I think back....
He didn't feel barfy afterward and he got popsicles, but then he always had guts of steel - only the very worst kind of flu would get him horking. So, like I said, very little wisdom.
I think just being there is as important as the meds. I remember thinking "I don't know if he's ever been so happy to see me" - and this was a child who was like velcro on my leg after day care every day!
Hi Amy,
My daughter had four surgeries between 1.5-3 (I think) for trying twice to correct a tear duct blockage, then inserting tube, then removing it, and my son has had one (when he turned 2). All general anesthesia. In our cases the surgery was all very fast, I think 1/2 hour at longest. I have to say, in my experience it was much harder on the parent than the child. The hardest thing for my daughter when she was really young was the mask (Iike an oxygen mask) that they used for anesthesia. They usually let the kids play around with the stuff before hand (not the *exact* stuff they'll use, obviously, but just something to get them familiar with things). Basically, they just remember going to the room, and that's it...they fall asleep really fast once the anesthesia starts, like within 10 seconds for us. Since my kids were so little, they let me go back to hold them as they were putting them under. Not sure what they do for a 4.5 yo, but you could ask the dr so that could be told to her. ("Mama will be there, and then you'll fall asleep, and then you'll wake up in the recovery room and I'll be right there with you.")
Also, they did give daughter pre-sedation for one of the surgeries, and it made her really goofy and loopy, but going to the room was less scary, I guess.
Our kids were kind of cry-y coming out of sedation, almost like they are with nightmares. Don't think it was pain though, more like disorientation. But very soon were back to normal.
Good luck-- all our thoughts will be with you.
--Neighbor Lady
Wow--all my paragraphs got merged. Sorry for the long rambling comment!!
--Neighbor Lady
Amy, good luck and many hugs.
good luck indeed.
late breaking old skool whine: I lost my gloves this morning!
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