Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The Blues: Now Available in Extra-Whiney

This week's edition of the Whiner's Brigadoon is brought to you by the Federal Bureau of Stupid Things, which ordered us all to "fall back" this past Sunday. As a direct result, several clocks in my house now belong to different time zones, it gets dark way too early, and I wake up at a fireplacing indecent hour. Did I mention that this makes me feel crabby?
Whine: On Friday, husband gets to go to "Dads' Weekend" at daughter's university, and I get to stay home.
Antiwhine: The marching band* has lined the dads up to help with pregame and half-time shows at the big football game, and I am reliably informed that this commitment involves "fun dance steps" to the tune of "Men in Tights." On national television! Suwwweeet! Husband last danced at our wedding, and that didn't involve a chorus line. [Anyone who thinks parental devotion is not deep and true had best think again.]
Whine: The feral foster kittens who came to stay with us last week still hiss and growl when they see me. But, antiwhine: Baby kittie growls are the cutest things in the universe, and they do not seem to mind cuddling at all, once caught. They hide in the exact same easy-to-find spot every time, for cuddling convenience. It's all about appearances, baby.
What's new with you? Secret special prizes for the extra-whinies this week!
Posting early today on accounta crabbiness; also, Blogger has a scheduled outage at 11 p.m. PST.
* Daughter plays alto saxophone in marching band. The photo is not a real alto sax. It is amazing, what a bored person can buy at the craft store for $3.50.


Miranda said...

Thanks, Kathy A! You rock.

I kind of am sick of my whines so I'll just contribute corn-free pumpkin muffins. There's a rumor of corn-free liquor making it's way across the intarwebs. I'm waiting on that. :)

Susan Anne MacKenna said...

No real whines here that we don't all know... sore nipples, exhaustion.... All those newborn-in-the-house things. Little Miss S is NOT taking Baby MC's arrival very well at all, so we've had nightly tantrums (tantri?) 'round here. Mr. Mac is, well, absent due to his trial competition in Buffalo this weekend (that's a whine on his behalf), and thank GOD for my Mom who's helping me tremendously. Baby MC lost a pound from birth to a week later. By today, she'd gained back almost half of that. So we're doing allright. Happy Wednesday Pixies.

Elizabeth said...

All the pixies need to keep their fingers crossed for Liz. Early returns look good.

kathy a. said...

((( DMD ))) and yay, baby mac!

hugs and corn-free everything to miranda. [may the rumor come true.]

anxiously awaiting word from liz....

Liz Miller said...

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!

JM said...

No whine, just noting that this weekend is Dad's Weekend at my university and now I wonder if your daughter is here! That would be neat. I would cheer for the sax player at the football game!

Andy said...

The heat knob broke on my car. Then the glove compartment handle broke. Then the license plate light went out. Then my car was pulled over because the license plate light was out, and I got a warning ticket for failing to show registration, because it was in the glove box. Then something fell off the right side of the front end, and when I get home, that tire is flat. So I went to check to see if I had a spare, except the trunk light is out, and my emergency flashlights are in the glove box. And it turns out I don't have a spare.

All of this following a wonderful week when I was dumped in part because I'm apparently terrible at having sex. Also, it turns out people get really awkward around me when I'm not carefree and entertaining.

Elizabeth said...

Yay, for liz and her man. Yay for the election results in VA in general.

Beams to DMD and Andy.

Whine: I still haven't finished the paper I'm presenting on Saturday.

Anti-whine: After Saturday, it will be done one way or the other.

Susan Anne MacKenna said...


Anonymous said...

I think Andy takes the early lead, by several lengths. Oof. "Sorry about that" just doesn't cover it.

Madeleine said...

Anti-whine: (channeling Phantom) I'm expecting delivery today on my New! Dishwasher! Yay! And the old, intermittently flaky one obligingly flaked twice in a row yesterday, so no buyers' remorse. No, no, no.

Whine: ice on my front porch. Also Snuggly Girl whined at length last night about "Why do calendars always list March as part of spring? And put all those green clovers and things? I know it's for St. Patrick's day, but March is not spring. It is still winter. You can make a 3 foot tall snowman outside in March. [Ed. note, yes, one year that happened.]" Why this was a critical topic in early November I have no idea.

Anti-whine: Go team Liz! Woo-hoo! You showed those corporate toadies.

kathy a. said...

yay, liz!

JM, daughter is in oregon.

andy, it is going to be hard to top the suckiness of your week.

madeleine, happy new appliance day!

JM said...

oh, one state away. bummer! but I'll cheer for the sax section here anyway. :)

Mykal said...

I feel that I am at peak whininess.

Layoffs at work yesterday. I am pissed that my friends got laid off, I am pissed that I didn't get laid off (I would have gotten 8months severance, full pay) (I would have been pissed if I did get laid off too). There was no way out of the layoffs without being pissed off at everything.

The whole layoff expierence sucked. I hate knowing that this will probably happen to me 5-6 more times in my working career. I hate this corporate managment crap.

Sue said...

Yay Liz!!

hugs and votes for DMD and Andy.

Whine: Cat power dynamics in our house. The little tiny innocent looking girl kitteh keeps chasing the big monster cat (who could kick her tiny butt if he wasn't such a coward) out of the litter box.

We now have three litter boxes downstairs, and she won't let him use any of them. So, he's started doing his bidness on any piece of carpet he can find in the house. Nice. Not so much.


Madeleine said...

Mykal gets my nomination for the "whine if you do; whine if you don't" award. Also lots of sympathy -- it's a terrible environment to be in, no matter which side of the cutoff you fall in.

Scrivener said...

Oy, votes for Andy, defninitely.

I've got 4 hours talking to various therapists/divorce coaches and a few hours meeting with the divorce lawyers, all within the next three days. Also, this evening we tell the kids that we're splitting up. And on Saturday, I get to help my almost-Ex mover her stuff out of the house, which is both whine and anti-whine rolled into one.

OneTiredEma said...

Unbloggable job stress happening to someone I love. Not so stressful as not having a job, but stealthily toxic and frustrating and sad.

It's awful and there is nothing I can do to help.

redzils said...

Yay, Liz!

Serious early votes for Mykal, Scrivener, and Andy.

Things here are fine (but you have to say "fine" in that terse, clipped-off way to make it work).

I gotta say, the grade mongering emails I get at this time of the semester are not helping...

S. said...

Weighing in on the Old Skool front today:

At work, we have "new" phones that my manager finally took out of their boxes and set up for me, two years after I bought them, because I am just *that* kind of efficient.

Their ring is incredibly alarming. It makes my heart race with adrenaline every time I hear it, but I'm sure in time I'll adjust. Ditto the light layer of fuzz on the line. None of that is part of my whine, just background to set the scene.

The phone rings. My heart races. I pick up. It's a computer. It's a computer that works for CVS! We are a bookstore. There's no conceivable reason CVS would be calling us with a computer. They're not, they're calling some actual human being who doesn't live here. As soon as the computer announces the human being's name it fritzes out, Max-Headroom style, so that even if I were the human being in question, I would have no idea what CVS wanted me to do.


I guess CVS is committed to staying in touch with its customer base.

kathy a. said...

hugs [and some of miranda's corn-free liquor, as needed] to mykal and onetiredema, for the layoff and job stress blues.

more hugs and 3 gallons of hot chocolate to scriv, along with crossed fingers for all those appointments.

cluesticks to the appropriate entities in redzil's and S's virtual universes.

sue -- virtual catnip and washable bathmats for monster cat. sheesh.

Anonymous said...

Votes for Scrivener and good thoughts for tonight's conversation--hope it goes as well as it can. Also, fingers crossed through all the meetings and moves coming up.

Also, votes for Andy,, what a horrible week, and also a compelling combination of substantive and old skool whines (what with all the knobs and lights breaking).

My whines this week: both kids had strep.

I am supposed to do some teaching tomorrow (volunteer science enrichment in a kindergarten class) for which I am woefully unprepared. At least the kids are only 5 and 6, and I can wing it. Went to look for acorns today, to supplement tomorrow's discussion of seeds, and could not find any. Apparently, we have efficient squirrels in our neighborhood. I am planning to have them germinate some seeds which may have frozen in my breezeway over the winter, and may not, therefore germinate. Had I planned ahead, I would know whether or not they are ok. I didn't. Hey--that's why they call it an experiment I guess. And nobody sells seeds in November. And the pumpkin seeds I set aside to use tomorrow molded.
And tonight, I am supposed to go to a PTA meeting where someone will lecture on something I remember thinking I really needed to hear to help cure Neighbor Girl's recent behavioral challenges, but can't remember who it is, or where the paper is that describes it. (Yeah, good luck finding that in my house right now.)

And, I think all my spoons are dirty and I don't feel like tackling the dirty dishes.

Hugs to all the pixies in need.

--Neighbor Lady

Anonymous said...

Daylight not? savings time whines:

1) I can never remember when it is we are saving daylight time and when we are not. What does saving have to do with it anyway?! (don't try to explain, it would just be wasted on me).

2) Dogs and cat do not understand changing time. Agitating for breakfast and dinner now starts a whole hour early. All the crying and whining and yowling and looking at me with pathetic, "but I'm starving" eyes is not conducive to good mental health for moi.

KLee said...

Hooray for Liz and Team M! That's fabulous news.

Another hooray to DMD for Baby Mac's arrival! Sorry that LMS isn't enjoying being a big sister so far, but hopefully, she'll get used to it soon. I'm sending "no tantrum" vibes your way.

I vote for Scrivener, because his situation sucks on so many levels. I'm so sorry, Scriv. I wish there was something I could say or do to make it easier.

Not much happening here -- I am a staff/administration liaison, and had gotten a complaint through channels about a staff member, and had to go tattletaling to the administrators the other day. The crap part of it is that the complaint has quite an amount of truth behind it, but I *HATE* being the person that has to bring all the negativity to the fore.

Plus, if that person figures out that I'm the whistleblower, there will be hell to pay. (Which, of course, could all be avoided if s/he would just do the damn job that they're paid to do, but apparently, that's asking too much.)

A close friend of mine is going through some seriously awful turmoil, and I'm not quite sure how to help her. She's not the touchy-feely type, so hugs aren't the answer. I'm just trying to be supportive and non-judgmental.

Anonymous said...

Neighbor lady: I hear you on the spoons. (We never have clean spoons. Or bowls.) Old skool whine award, I think.

Also old skool vote for Andy and all the broken lights. Surely this must mean SOMETHING, on the part of the universe. I don't know what, but sheesh. Maybe you should give the ex a goodbye flashlight, kind of like a cluestick flashlight. Right, I'm not making any sense. Should stop now.

Anonymous said...

okay here's another little funny whine (I never stop when I should):

Background: I teach Nia (it's a mind-body-spirit fitness practice thing). At the end of the class we do "Floorplay" which basically means stretching and yoga-ish type stuff on the floor.

The inevitable happened last night. I called it foreplay. Then I giggled a lot. No one ever called ME grown up, nope, no sirree bob-a-roo.

Embedded anti-whines: At least everyone laughed. At least my mother (who usually comes to my class) wasn't there. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to know I know such words.

kathy a. said...

hi, neighbor lady! hope everyone is over the strep, and that something germinates for your class.

turtlebella -- ain't it the truth about the pets blaming us for the freaking time change?

klee -- condolances and chocolate for the stuck in the middle thing. ick.

Savvi said...

whine: I'm on Day 4 of the latest "Daddy's job means he has to go places to tell people about all the cool work he does, honey!" sesson.

whine: Primo got put on a behavior modification program by his teacher to try to quell his interruptions. She apparently thinks that getting a "I was a super listener" sticker at the end of the day will serve as a motivational tool for the World's Least Competitive Seven Year Old. I hesitate to disabuse her of this notion, because perhaps it would be better for her to discover for herself that damning my child with faint praise will not serve to improve his mood.

Whine: second grade math homework.

Antiwhine: Day 5 of Daddy's Latest Jaunt is the last day. Barring bad weather, he should be back tomorrow night. Assuming New Orleans doesn't sink into the sea before then. Oh, did I mention that while I saw the seasons' first snowflakes today, SOMEONE is wandering down Bourbon Street in 80-degree weather, leaving me voicemails like 'Hey, did you know they can just sell liquor on the sidewalk, any old place?"

Kristen said...

Congrats to Liz!

Votes for Andy. But perhaps one can imagine that you might be better off without someone so rude and shallow.

Mykal - I've been there and it is awful. Hang in there.

Whine: Just finished 11 days of single parenting while husband was in Asia. Stomach virus (complete with vomit, vomit, everywhere) hit on day 6.

Anti-Whine: husband came home yesterday. All is well. Vomit smell is *almost* out of my car.

And my vote for "Best word created especially for Wednesday Whining" would be the eloquent "Tantri" penned by DMD.

When a tantrum just won't do, throw some Tantri.

Unknown said...

And the shit goes on...

Yay to Liz.

Andy, you must be driving my old car. Condolences.


Can I just say UGH about everything?

Whine: son got 'asked to leave' school for a while because he wasn't able to handle authority. Meaning he was skipping classes, mouthing off to teachers, refusing to do any work, etc. Oh, did I mention it's his JUNIOR YEAR of high school? So he's now in a theraputic "life skills" program that fortunately he can walk to.

Whine: Day one of said theraputic program was today. So what did he do within the first hour? He drew a picture of Hitler and freaked out all the other kids. He thought it was funny. NOT.

Whine: His sister is in Ultra Fabulous Fancy Famous East Coast Looney Bin where she is enjoying amazing amounts of food, etc. But she wants to come home. Except now she can't come home and she's bummed. She is, of course, blaming me.

Whine: No new car for me. Bank wouldn't approve the loan and I can't afford to put more down. So I'm back to no vehicle. It sucks.

Anti-Whine: Friend who is horrible cook invited us to Thanksgiving dinner, but I get to cook it. Phew. She'll pay for turkey, I'll do the cooking so we all won't die of food poisoning. She's that bad.

Whine: Verizon. Do I have to say anything else?

Anti-Whine: Catching up on sleep and actually sleeping through most of the night!

Anti-Whine: Have some interesting projects in the works. Stay tuned.

Hope everyone else is having a great week. Heh.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Whine: I'm watching my Socialist Utopia Home Province going over to the conservative party right now. They are so going to screw up my province. Th counting isn't over yet, but it's looking like a majority government for Evil. Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

Jenny F. Scientist said...

Lots of hugs for Scrivener and Andy.

No major whines here. Tired. Worn out. Power struggles. You know, the usual...

Liz Miller said...

Andy gets the Morton Salt award. No, wait, Andy and Margalit are TIED for the Morton Salt award!

QOWP, I'm so sorry, I wish the spirit of our results had graced your province too.

Elizabeth said...

Hugs and votes to Scriv. hope the conversation went as well as such conversations can. Good luck.