AWARDS

Hugs and 5 pounds of the Halloween candy of choice to all the Pixies, whose worthy whines this week include (but are not limited to): neighbors so in need of a hobby that they string the roof with halloween lights; the annual Halloween Costume Scramble; irritating and/or clueless customers; lectures on "responsibility" from someone who lacks that particular quality; missing classes, eek! (even for a happy reason); control freaks; dental work; serious illness of a dear and long-distance friend; managers, and endless meetings featuring management-speak; cold in the nose; painful therapy; precocious looooove; spitup; fundraising; self-branding; self-decoration with sharpie marker or printer ink; and medical woes of various sorts.

Scriv, we'll help supply the bunker. Margalit, here's hoping things settle the fireplace down.

STYLE Award to (and crossed fingers for) Kathy R., for "My Doctor’s Ode to My Mystery Malady."

It wasn’t ovarian cancer.
It can’t be because of the cyst.
Your “samples” are coming back perfect.
What could it be that we’ve missed?

The ultrasound, it showed us nothing.
The symptoms, they intensify.
We’re stumped by your mystery illness.
How ‘bout Friday a nice MRI?

ELEVATED RISK OF MULLET Award to Diane, who asks: "When they go out in public, do they just leave all their marbles in the car?"

OLD SCHOOL Award to Sue, who has a code in her node (cold in her nose), which caused her to introduce the BEST NEW SWEAR WORD, "Sit." As Pug&MooseMama observed, "My dogs may be confused, but hey," sitting isn't a bad thing.

Hooray for ANTIWHINES of smilingsmilingsmiling, money in the bank, and others bringing joy to Pixies this week!

Best to Moreena and TEAM ANNIKA, in their run/walk/wagon ride to raise money for the American Liver Foundation's research, education, and outreach!

See you next week, for another exciting edition of the Whiner's Ball.