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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Are You Butch Enough to Use a Plunger?

That is my question to you all.

If detailed discussions of toddler poop make you squeam, just head right down to the comment fields.

You Have Been Warned.

Z. has been pretty darn consistent about pooping in the potty for a few months now, but I made a maternal blunder and fed her apple juice when there was no potty anywhere around. Now, just to embarrass my child beyond all belief if it ever happens that she finds this particular entry of this Brigadoon blog in her teens, the way Z.'s poop hits her diaper creates an item that must be flushed, yet is shaped just exactly so that it will not. It requires the use of a plunger. Every single time. In the few months since the last time we needed to flush poop from a diaper, Z. has gotten bigger. She eats more. You see where this is going. Tonight, every time we wander up to the second floor, we plunge a little. It's a good thing we have more than one bathroom in this house, that's all I can say.

In pettier household news (ha! pettier! I kill myself), why am I always the one to let the dogs in when I'm NEVER the one who lets them out? Inquiring minds want to know.

And, yeah, yeah, I'm writing this one despite my hiatus. I miss you guys, but my plate is still pretty full in real life. I'll be back when things settle down, I promise.

So pixies, what's going on in your lives? --Sheila

39 comments:

Liz Miller said...

Well, I'm here instead of writing a paper that's DUE! TOMORROW! that I have not yet started. Yay me!

Liz Miller said...

And I am still giggling over the unflushable poop.

Anonymous said...

Immediate bodily fluids award for you Sheila! (Are you allowed to hand out awards to yourself. Cos I really think you deserve it).

My whine: I have this weird sore throat that comes and goes every couple of days. This morning it was here, just in time for my first! time! ever! teaching Nia (a fitness/movement class). I have to talk LOUDLY over music for said class. Add an already sore throat = one very hoarse turtlebella. And not even in a way that is sexy! And I have two more classes to teach this week.

Anti-whine: The Nia class went really well. Fifteen people showed up (well, it was free- introductory thing you know). Even if only half that many people come next week (when they have to pay), I will be happy.

Off to soak in my tub (that's an anti-whine), I'll catch y'all tomorrow! (At least to blog I don't have to talk and you don't have to listen to raspy me.) Happy, whine-free dreams for all.

kathy a. said...

sheila -- i'm soooo tempted to tell you, "this too shall pass," but it won't. in 10 years, you will still be wielding the plunger like a pro, before or after some kid [it doesn't even have to be your own!] causes the Flood of Doom.

kathy a. said...

i just have a weird whine. for some reason that i cannot fathom, a copy of Town and Country magazine showed up in my mailbox, addressed to me. this magazine features rich people standing next to their expensive stuff. one guy actually had pants made to match his huge antique chinese vase.

which marketing genius decided that someone with expertise in toilet-plunging was part of this magazine's demographic?

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Wow, bringing the bodily fluids so quickly? This is going to be a good Wednesday.

Whine: identity theft. Of the "should have been prevented by the cell phone company" kind, because someone took out a cellphone in Mr. QWP's name and with our address, but apparently using a different birth date and Social Insurance Number. And apparently the cell phone company didn't check these facts? And the first we heard of any of this was when we got a large bill from a collections agency today?

It looks like it'll be sorted out fairly quickly (fingers crossed), but it's such a headache. And it may also mean that someone's been stealing our mail, which is freaking me out the most out of this, actually.

Liz Miller said...

QoWP, identity theft is horrid. I'm sorry you guys have to go through that.

Unknown said...

Not a happy week. Not even a remotely happy week. It's bad pixies, really really bad.

Daughter finally had enough of living with son and went off the deep end. She starting cutting, smoking dope, doing some really stupid things, and then asked me if she could go someplace away from her brother. We went to ER, she got placed in a psych hospital about a 1/2 hour from here.

I went to sign her in to the hospital the next morning and my car died in the parking lot... in the middle of nowhere. The car is still there, dead as a doornail.

Got a ride to my doctor's appt where I went somewhat insane with stress, blood pressure was so high it's a wonder I didn't have a stroke. Doctor concerned.

From doctor had to take subway home. Which meant walking to the subway, which was farther than I'd walked in forever. Got on subway, then had to change lines. Station was not handicap accessible, so I had to climb 2 flights of stairs. My heart was leaping out of my chest.

Got on right train, got to my stop. No taxis. None. Rain. Waited for almost and hour, then called Son and had him find me a ride home. Get home and son has a bunch of friends over. I threw them out.

Haven't seen daughter since. Can't get there because...no car.

Can't get car towed because...no money. None. Not a penny. I had some money but it 'disappeared' from my purse. Could be Son, could be son's friends. I dunno, but there is nary a penny in the house until the 3rd of the month.

Can't get car fixed because...no money. Is it worth it to fix it? My BFF is pushing me to buy a new car but I can't afford to. I don't know what to do, but I'm stuck in house. Not even money for a taxi.

Son is reacting terribly to his sister gone. He's flipping out, very manic, misbehaving at school, at home. I'm ready to murder him.

BUT...there is some good. Both kids passed the MCAS, which means they can graduate from high school and get the hell out of my house! (Not that I want them to leave, but they CAN.)

As for plunging and poop, I believe I mentioned my landlady insisting that I pay for the plumber who came twice to snake out my toilet because plunging wouldn't work. Harumph. No way I'm going to pay for that. Nope, not gonna happen.

Susan Anne MacKenna said...

I go under the knife on Friday. Finally our baby girl will be here. I'm scared to death. I'm beyond excited. Pixies - in 48 hours, our baby MC will be here. Wow.

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Devil. May everything go smoothly!

Margalit, that is so much suck, I can't even comprehend it. Am so sorry.

My whine is piddly: I lost my sunglasses 10 days ago and I am lost without them.

How pathetic is that?

Jenny F. Scientist said...

QWP, I hope you get the collection agency off your back! The one that tried to collect us for Tyrone Jones was amazingly persistent. :)

Whine: So exhausted. All the time. I wake up, I'm exhausted. 2 pm, I feel like fainting and/or taking a nap. Can I do this for a whole year???

Sue said...

(((margalit)))) so sorry.

DMD -- only two more sleeps! congrats!

My whine: Appt with family doc two days ago. I mentioned that the clonazepam he had prescribed was making me a bit sleepy during the day. So he told me to go off of it completely. I asked, "You mean entirely? Today?" He looked at me like I had grown antlers and said "Of course"

Well, I'm no doc, but I KNOW that you don't stop clonazepam cold-turkey. You have to wean your body off of it. So that's what I'm doing, but I didn't tell him that.

Also, he renewed my pain relievers but he won't let me refill them until oct 30 (next Tuesday) b/c he said I used up my last prescription too quickly (five days early).

So I'm now withdrawing from two drugs. I got zero sleep last night and my head is killing me.

My doc thinks my stress level is causing my headaches, but cuts me off of the anti-anxiety drug. He just doesn't hear me when I tell him the problem isn't the stress from my life - the problem is the stress from hurting all the firepalcing time.

arrrrrrggggghhhhhhh.

Madeleine said...

Liz, I hope your paper is done by now!

Margalit, that super-dooper stinks. So sorry.

Tea with honey for turtlebella's throat, woohoo! to DMD, and a giggle for Kathy A.'s magazine issue. (Pun intended.)

My local city magazine comes with a free, unwanted "Fashion" magazine. I don't want that woman-hating crap in the house where my growing girl might see it. I made it through their customer service maze about a year ago and had them cancel the Fashion part of the subscription, but when my renewal notice came it was back on there, and the combined "special" price was more than the city mag alone would cost. Meanwhile their customer service has gotten even worse. There is no way to reach a human, and submitting a comment form (twice) got no response, so I guess we won't get the city magazine anymore.

Oh, and if you think Sheila provided TMI, I will now tell you that I, myself, have a set of anatomy that clogs toilets on a regular basis. In my house, anything that requires a plunger (no matter who causes it) is called "pulling a M." We had one great apartment where it rarely happened (also I think I trained myself to go at work) but this house, with me working from home? Sigh. And I'm not that good with the plunger so My Love generally has to rescue me before the girl freaks out. (She went through a fraid-to-flush phase after one of these incidents.)

This hasn't happened this week, mind you, so no contest for Sheila's bodily not-fluids award.

kathy a. said...

hooray, DMD!

QoWP -- that sucks. hope it gets sorted soon.

((( margalit ))) that is all so awful. wishing you a pixie brigade of backup.

sue, would it be possible to get a second opinion? it doesn't sound like this doc is doing it for you.

The History Enthusiast said...

(((margalit)))

(((QoWP)))

Whine: My Ph.D. exams are in a little less than a month and I'm freaking out a bit. Last night I had an anxiety attack, so instead of reading I just went to bed early. Of course, I couldn't actually sleep because I was too worked up...oh well.

Anti-whine: Fall weather is finally here! Yay!

Miranda said...

whine: right now life is Teh Suck and I don't have anyone to help me pick up the scattered shards of my self-confidence so I can try again.

anti-whine: I'm learning so much about being self-reliant and that can only be good, no?

Yay, DMD! I can't wait for you to meet your little one.

Hugs to Margalit and QWP.

In the bodily fluids category, I drive the carpool kids home on Fridays but I always go inside because I also need to pick up Zilla's inhaler. Well, Zilla decided he needed to go the bathroom at 2:45. It was number two. We didn't leave the school until 3:20. I'm sure he filled the bowl and used half a roll of toilet paper but at least school bathrooms seem equipped to deal with this kind of mess (heh). I've never understood how such a little kid could pack so much into in his colon without exploding.

kathy a. said...

((( miranda ))) here, we've got some super-glue for those shards.

good luck, history enthusiast!

Anonymous said...

cluestick to sue's doctor. Having been on a med that requires weaning off, I know how important that is. So sorry.

((((margalit))))


My sore throat is gone. (as per pattern) But I am still hoarse, so commencing with tea with honey treatment anyway.

kabbage said...

No big whines today, but a comment on toilet situations. Sometimes it IS the stupid toilet's fault. Mine is growing mineral deposits that block the incoming water that should flush (okay, maybe that's a whine) the bowl. It takes about 3-6 times flushing for me to get any sort of solid (including toilet paper) down. I'll be going in to try to scrape some of the deposits off, but they're very hard and very hard to reach. The plumbers tell me to replace the toilet.

I have a group meeting in a week and a half and only one bathroom and no time to get the toilet replaced in that time. Okay, that's another whine.

kathy a. said...

aack, kabbage! 3-6 flushes would bring on the Flood of Doom around here. but yeah, i blame the toilets. those industrial toilets they install in places like schools? those can do the job.

Madeleine said...

Yes to the industrial strength toilets. That was why my body trained itself to go at work.

Kabbage, can you dissolve them somewhat with acid? I'm guessing your mineral deposits are related to the crusty stuff that grows around my faucets, which can be loosened by soaking in vinegar, though you might want something stronger. If you filled the tank with something acidic, would it eat up the pipes and rubber parts?

And good luck with group meeting!

kermitthefrog said...

hugs to QowP, margalit, and sue.

Despite my non-parenthood, I am bringing the nipples to this week's whining.

Anti-whine is that I have been really enjoying swimming. The pool is great, usually not too crowded when I go, etc.

Whine is that the shower pressure in the pool locker room is so high that the nipples. must. be. shielded. Besides, like, the waste of water--ouch.

S. said...

I am now thinking about Kermit the Frog's nipples. Boy frog green Muppet nipples--there is something *wrong* with my head.

--Sheila

Uccellina said...

I thought I was having a tough day until I read Margalit's comment. Hugs to you, Margalit. I will now whine anyway, but with the preface that I know this is really whiny and minor.

Ahem.

Waaaaaaaaah! I told my boss over a month ago that I was going Back East for ten days, leaving this Saturday. I reminded him two weeks ago. Today he has entered full-on "must get one billion things done before you go because I had no idea that when you said you were going away, you actually meant it" mode. So I now I am running around crazy-like while simultaneously attempting to relax because, Braxton-Hicks contractions at 17 weeks? Not so much fun.

Add to this whines of stress over money (lack of!), decisions (too many!), and responsibilities (too many!). I want to curl up in a bathtub with a book, but even getting in and out of the bathtub has recently become rather tricky.

Where, oh where, have both my literal and figurative centers of gravity gone?

KLee said...

Copied from my own place, because I'm just too tired otherwise:
----------------------

Dear Universe:

I am writing to complain about your recent treatment of me. I thought it might be best to list my grievances, and then we can go from there. If I do not hear from you, I will assume that you want our working relationship to be terminated, and I will seek employment elsewhere.

This week (so far) has been nothing like last week. Nothing monumentally bad has happened yet, just a collection of irritating incidents that contribute to the feeling funky.

Mondays are bad enough, right? One would think that Monday was enough hell all on its own, and not have to produce *more* independent verification. I got fussed at by another staff member at work. No surprise there, but it was one of those piddly little things that can discolor your whole day.

Tuesday went fairly well, with the exception of the spiking heat here in the Southeast, which made everyone crabby, and tempers short.

I woke up at 3:17 this morning with a pounding migraine. I took three pills, and headed back to bed. When my alarm went off, I rolled over, and realized that I'd made a colossal mistake. I had to call into work. I could barely see, and from the chorus of tympani drums that was reverberating inside my skull, actual movement and productivity were going to be nil today.

I spent the day in bed, sleeping away the migraine. I awoke in the early afternoon, disoriented by the darkness that shrouded the house. I started to panic at the thought that Offspring was not yet home from school, and it was growing dark -- until I realized that it was raining outside, and the overcast skies made it seem much later than it actually was.

After Offspring and JF arrived home, I figured I had better appease my growling stomach, and make something to eat, since I hadn't eaten anything since about 7pm on Tuesday. I filled up a jig of water for Raspberry Ice koolaid, and as I attempted to put it back into the 'fridge, the wet bottle slipped out of my hands, shattering the plastic refrigerator door bin. Great. Now, I have *two* door bins to buy -- this one, and the one that broke three months back. $66 dollars and one Internet search later, we have new door bins headed our way. Some time within the next 3 to 7 days. Hopefully.

I decide to go rest on the bed and pet the cat while JF kindly does the dishes for me. After about 20 seconds of petting, said cat turns on me like a mob informant, and proceeds to claw and bite the hell out of my arm.

Universe, I would like to have a month where I do not have prime Wednesday Whine fodder. Please give me the time off, or I will be forced to contact my attorney. This could be considered a hostile work environment, and I do not have to tolerate it. I know my rights.

Signed,
A Seriously Funked-Out, Pissed-Off KLee

Mrs. Coulter said...

Well, I've been in a non-blogging funk. No energy whatsoever. Generally feeling like crap. A cough that just won't go away.

On Monday, I realized that I was feeling short of breath.

On Tuesday I go to the doctor. I can't shake this cough, I say. Bronchitis, they cry, and prescribe horsepill antibiotics.

My least favorite parts of going to the doctor: the weighing (which I don't do at home, in the interest of having a not totally negative body image--I try to block out the negative thoughts, but I'm 30lbs over my college weight, folks), and the blood pressure checking...hate teh auto cuff.

The blood pressure, though...it's a little high. The doctors hurms and haws, and wants to do an EKG. I submit to the electrodes. The doctor and the tech conference over the results. "Were you nervous?" they ask. Of course. Wouldn't you be? They want to repeat it. They seem very serious.

Apparently, the EKG shows unusual electrical activity, consistent with a fairly common heart arrhythmia syndrome. It can cause heart palpitations and dizziness, among other things. Oh dear. I've had those symptoms, though they've been infrequent and short-lived.

So, they hook me up to a 24-hr EKG machine (basically, they stuck a bunch of electrodes to me and sent me home with a portable machine the size of a deck of tarot cards). No shower, no bath with this thing.

I went back today to have the thing taken off. It hurt like hell taking off the sticky electrodes. I will know a little more tomorrow after the data is analyzed; I have an appointment with a cardiologist next week (on Halloween, no less).

The good news is that if I do have this syndrome, it is *NOT* treated with open heart surgery. Most people who have it are asymptomatic, and it is easily treatable with medication. There is a small risk, though, that the electrical signals just get totally crossed up and make the heart just stop for no reason at all.

Fun! Yes, I'm having a great week.

kathy a. said...

hugs and chocolate to uccelina, kermit, and klee!

mrs. coulter, that sucks. i hope that all turns out well. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Hugs to Margalit. May this pass, and quickly too. And QofWP--yikes just thinking about identity theft makes my head hurt.

Good luck to DMD!

/whine/ I took my ten days of progesterone and no period. I spotted yesterday and I freaked out pretty much until I think my period started for real today. It is pathetic and sad that I am actively hoping for cramps and proof that I am actually menstruating. What is wrong with the world?

And just when I think I may get really emotional (a personal sign of that time of the month and hormones in general), I get rational and calm. Argh. Quietly.

/antiwhine/ I think I will actually get to day 5 and the starting of the Clomid.

/whine/ we seem to have given up on Halloween around here.

Anonymous said...

I am 7.5 weeks pregnant. I am hungry. All. The. Time.

That's not the whine. I love to eat, and I'm *trying* to eat somewhat healthily. But overall, I just don't care--I figure I won't be this hungry through the whole pregnancy (I hope), and this is just what my body needs now.

So will someone please tell my mother to stop saying, in that horrified voice (on the phone, no less): "You can't just eat whenever you want! It's all in your head. Just learn to control the hunger in your head. At this rate, you'll be huge by the end of the pregnancy."

Yeah. Body dysmorphic disorder, already, over here. Trying to maintain a healthy outlook. Do. Not. Need.

And I'm 36 fireplacing years old, already! I know when I'm hungry!

Thanks. Feel better. Can eat more mac & cheese now.

redzils said...

It is my birthday. This is good, but it is also bad in that whole evaluating-my-life sense.

Whine: I am still struggling with whether this is the right place (academically, geographically, etc) for me, and not sleeping anywhere near enough.

Anti-whine: I received lots of generous phone calls today and spent the morning taking my fabulous dog to visit kids who are having bad days (in the local PICU and pediatrics wards), which is always good for perspective.

I hope things get better for everyone, particularly margalit and Mrs. Coulter, all the pixies who want to be pregnant and are not or who are pregnant and dealing with stupid inpute from other people.

Anonymous said...

I really wish this year would end. This year has brought deaths, the loss of friends, diagnoses of chronic illnesses, the feeling of all that is good in my soul moving away, and, finally, the end of my marriage.

I see my attorney later this week. I'm not sure about the finances. Because my spouse is an ASS, he sort of spilled the beans to the kids who are now walking on eggshells around us. Since there has only been discussion of potential and probable yet not actual divorce between us, I was pretty furious. Some of his behavior has been suspicious as well, leading to believe that he has someone on the side.

The good news, I guess, is that life *will* get better. Even though my employment prospects look grim, having him out of my daily life will be a huge relief. We have grown so far apart these last few years.

Sometimes, I worry that all I've taught my children is how to live in a dysfunctional relationship. I want to show them how to be happy as well.

Elizabeth said...

((margalit))
((Mrs Coulter))
((Miranda))
((Hollow Soul))

Yikes, what a week.

I just realized it was wednesday now. When it's actually thursday.

Elizabeth said...

forgot my antiwhine: it's raining!!

Unknown said...

Mrs. Coulter, Go to a CARDIOLOGIST immediately. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. A GP or Internist isn't qualified to make the kinds of decisions about your heart. Heart problems are not to be taken lightly. Take it from someone who knows all too well about weird heart things.

If you DO have an arythmia, you can be paced, or they can implant an ICD to ensure that you don't keel over. I have one. It's a plain old defibrillator that is implanted in your chest and hooked up to your heart. Other than a scar in a weird place and a big square metal thing poking out of your chest making it impossible to wear anything low cut without people staring in horror, it's completely and totally boring. Mine has to be adjusted a couple times a year, but otherwise, I don't even know it's there. AND, you get to do this really cool thing with a machine they give you, where you hold a wand over the ICD, plug the machine into your phone line, and send readings directly to the electro-cardiologist. It's FUN.

Sorry you've got weird heart things. If you want to talk about it, nobody is more willing to help with heart issues than me. OK?

(((Mrs Coulter)))

Liz Miller said...

Mrs. Coulter - I hope everything ends up okay. Let me know if there's anything I can do in person, 'kay?

Margalit - ditto.

Hugs to Hollow Soul, Klee, and everyone else in need of hugging (too many to list this week...what a week!!)

Luckybuzz, ignore your mother and eat what you want. You are supposed to gain at least 30 pounds during pregnancy (check with your OB, of course, on actual numbers).

kathy a. said...

happy birthday [late], redzils!

((((( hollow soul )))))

Mrs. Coulter said...

Thanks for all the kind thoughts, folks. I do have an appointment with a cardiologist, who is consulting with my internist (who first detected the potential problem). Anyway, I don't want to freak out too much until I have a diagnosis. But I feel fine (other than the bronchitis).

Uccellina said...

Well, since the comments haven't been closed yet, I'll add this for Luckybuzz: MAC AND CHEESE WAS MY BEST FRIEND until, like, 14 weeks. I was just noticing today that I'm no longer constantly starving. But as far as I'm concerned, pregnancy is all about getting to eat as much as I want of whatever I want. (Well, I suppose it's about that and growing babies.)

kathy a. said...

hear, hear for the mac and cheese! and the bambinos!