Ah dear pixies, it's that time of the week again - time for us to come together to kvetch, moan and groan about the things in life that just aren't going our way. That fabulous indulgence of whining for whining's sake. You know you love it - it surely makes me feel better!
I've been an absent whiner, blogger... well almost everything. Something about a new job, a 2 1/2 year old, a law student husband and pregnancy tends to suck the ever-loving life out of anyone. Add to that the heat we've had and the desire to socialize with family and friends, and you have one absent blogging lady.
But I really can't complain too much - I'm uncomfortable, tired, crabby and generally no fun at all, but isn't that the way of anyone at almost 37 weeks pregnant and counting? And my husband is busy in only the way 2Ls can be - you lawyer types (or married to lawyer types) will understand. Oh, and I got the biggest joke today - notification from the Ga Bar that they will publish the exam results at 4 pm on October 26. The same day I'm scheduled to have a c-section earlier in the morning. Uhhh, pass or fail, I don't think I'll be too concerned!
So have at it, Pixies - to borrow a line from our "Founder", How's by you?
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may all blessings be bestowed upon you, DMD, the bravest of all 37-week-pregnant mothers awaiting bar results and living with a preschooler and lawschooler! seriously, you will look back and think, "how did i do that?"
Ode to Friskie-Toes, an Excellent Cat
Long ago, and not so far away,
I found a kitten at the end of a long day.
Abandoned, he crouched under a cart
With piercing cries that grabbed my heart.
His name reflects what everyone knows,
His natural excitement, and he has extra toes.
Year in and year out, our Friskie's been here,
Guarding the borders, and purring with cheer.
Our Frisker's time grows short, we fear.
Hope he knows we hold him dear.
Wow, DMD, you think you've got enough going on?
Kathy a already wins the style award, right?
Best wishes and hugs and moments of sanity to DMD.
Whine: I am still not doing too well on the meeting new people thing since our summer move. It isn't going badly. It just isn't going well. And admitting it is hard makes me feel lonely.
Whine: The people I do know are not making me feel less lonely. A friend had a baby about 6 weeks ago. She called very early on. I've called twice, she hasn't returned my messages. I sent a gift, no email, no note. And I've been there with the new baby and the overwhelming-ness, but I just want to say hi. And it makes me worry just a tad that I said something weird or upsetting when we did talk. You know the kind of (fairly) irrational worry that hits worse when I am lonely. (She is fairly hard to reach when she doesn't have a new baby, so I know this whine is more a gauge of my whiny emotions.) I am stuck watching her Flickr account add new photos of the baby.
Whine: Well this would be a bad time to find out if she reads this site...
whine: I asked a friend about coming to a small Halloween party (and or planning one with me if she wants to host) and have gotten no response. And so I am conjuring up all sorts of Middle School level ideas--she is having a party and hasn't invited me or she just doesn't want to do this.
Whine: I wish this irrationality were hormonal and that TTC was working...
Whine: I miss Phantom and I am sorry that I can't think of a way to say that without feeling like I am trying to make her feel guilty. Not the point.
There better be some antiwhines soon.
My whines are really of the earth-shattering sort, and I've spent the last three months whining about other stuff because I couldn't whine about this, so I don't know whether I can whine about it now. Maybe I can come at it sideways?
The nervous tick I have developed over the last 10 years is to play with my wedding band. I keep reaching for my ring now but it is not there. I think I must be close to rubbing the knuckle on my left ring finger raw.
I'm sitting here in the middle of the night after a lot of sleepless nights trying to compose an article on safe food preparation for a newsletter, which is due tomorrow. It's important that I get this done because it's my first freelancing assignment and I want more from this client, and because I need some money to open a bank account in my own name and to start feeling like there's some chance that I will be able to make it in this world on my own and provide for my two children. Also because divorce is fireplacing expensive. You know, it's very difficult to contemplate safe food preparation tips when you're busy trying to figure out how you ended up such a massive failure at the one and only thing you ever really cared about. Let alone trying to figure out how the heck you pick up the pieces after that disaster and move on.
Sheez, Scrivener - I have nothing going on compared to you. Here's a virtual hug, and if you're over on the East side of town, let me know and I'll waddle down to meet you and give you a real one. I'm so sorry.
Scrivener -- I'm so, so sorry. I was hoping against hope that I was just reading more into your last two or three posts than was really there, but I see that I wasn't. I have no idea what to say, other than I'm sorry.
(o)
I wish to whine about my father. I should not need to, but I do.
The high school homecoming parade was last Friday, and I took pictures of the float my son was involved with. It had a high coolness quotient, because even though it was completely undecorated, it had something none of the other 50-some-odd floats did: a rock band.
Most commenters on my blog agreed that it was pretty cool. My father chose to fuss about the fact that the high school kids were riding on a lawn equipment trailer standing up, with no guard rails. Never mind that the vehicle was moving at a blazing 1 mile-per-hour, and that there was an ambulance, a fire truck, and a fire chief in the parade, high school staff every two blocks to keep the whole thing moving, and a cop car at every intersection blocking traffic from the route.
Of course, this is the same man who sent me a 5-page missive on the responsibility of operating a motor vehicle when I turned 16, and a 7-page missive on the responsibilities of an adult relationship when I fell in love with my husband in college.
This is also the same man with whom I have not lived since I was 11 months old. (Probably a good thing -- my half-sister on that side is a seriously messed-up individual)
*sigh*
((Scrivener))
Minor whine: I am coughing like a smoker with a four-pack-a-day habit...and I have never smoked.
Last night I coughed up something green that was about the size of a quarter. What the hell was that??? I took Nyquil and still woke myself up coughing.
Oh! And MM wet my bed.
Oh Scrivener. Too hard...best of luck and much much sympathy.
Oh, Scrivener. I'm so sorry. Wishing good thoughts to you and your family. (And I highly recommend a spinning ring to fidget with.)
Whine: Had wisdom tooth out yesterday morning. Worked all day anyway.
Whine: feeling panicky about how much I need to get done this month, and therefore am procrastinating worse than usual.
Scrivener, I'm so sorry. I hope the long road ahead eventually leads you out of the woods.
Camera, does it make you feel any better if we all giggle about how absurd your father is? I hope so, because, damn.
A hug for liz, because coughing up green goo can't be good, plus he wet YOUR bed?
Aw, Scriv. That seriously blows. If you and your lovely girls ever wind up in Scotland, I'll buy you a beer.
My whine is both cracked nipples *and* thrush, making it the first time I've ever been able to contribute to the nipples category. I think that's an antiwhine?
Scrivener, that sucks.
I will dish up my anti-whine first: I am leaving for two weeks in Japan!! this Friday! So excited!
Now onto the depressing:
-it's cold, rainy and dark lately and thus ends my summer of bike commuting
-layoffs, looks like they'll happen in Nov
-my Mom stopped speaking with me, granted she didn't have anything nice to say when she was, but it feels very sad to be ignored by a parent
All the best to DMD - what are you doing with your spare time???
Style and sadness points for kathya - and a big chin sckritchy for Friskie-Toes.
Aw Scriv...I"m so so sorry.
Jenevieve - it's your call on whether cracked nipples and thrush are a whine or an anti-whine. I know which way I would go, but whatever...
Liz- get better soon, you have laundry to do. :)
My whine: Same old, same old... depression, anxiety, headaches - they totally Suck.
Jenevieve,
The thrush is seriously bad news. I'm so sorry to hear you have it. Don't let them give you that silly cream to apply endlessly. Get the one-dose diflucan that actually cures you. And something similar for your beautiful boy so you don't get it back from him.
I remember the days when I cried when my baby needed feeding because I knew how much it would hurt. No one deserves that.
hugs to sarah, camera obscura, liz, elizabeth, mykal and sue. i have some fortune cookies -- want one?
(((( scriv )))) that really sucks. thinking of you.
yay! jenevieve brought the nipples!
thanks for the kind comments about old frisker, and scritches. he saw the hated vet several times last month, had some tests, tried antibiotics. the young go-getter vet wants to do more, but we have decided not to put him through more terror and pain. so, we're trying cat hospice instead. last night, after 5 days of barely moving from his spot on the couch, he pulled his creaky bones to the back of the house, to sleep with me on the bed.
Votes for Liz!
Urine in your own bed is definitely not cool. Especially when it is not your own....actually I guess even if it were your own it wouldn't be much better.
So apparently my aunt told my mom that it was a waste of my mom's money to send me to college since I don't need a degree to do my job.
Wow. Thanks. Seeing as all of your children are doing the absolute least with their degrees I'll be sure to come to you for advice when I want to hear people talk out their ass.
A really lame "keeping up with the bloggers" whine: Damn it I want my name to appear in blue! But unless everyone wants to read a totally blank page I guess I'll just stick to plain black and un-underlined. *insert heavy over-dramatic sigh*
Madeleine, the NHS here in bonny Scotland won't prescribe Diflucan to breastfeeding mothers. Lame, huh?
diane -- that stinks! this is not the 1950's!! cluestick to your aunt. [i think that to get your name in blue, you need to have a blogger or google profile and sign in. that's it.]
cluestick also to jenevieve's health service.
antiwhine! had a big meeting this morning that went well. but the fun part was that i saw a colleague and friend from my old office, who really wants me to apply to the place he is working now. and a student who is working for me heard [at a random job interview] some flattering things from my former office life. i'm not sure i can transition out of the home office until maybe a year from now, but these were encouraging things to hear. [cats are pretty good, but they aren't so great at networking professionally, ya know?]
Hey y'all. Thanks for keeping this up in my absence. I wanted to announce that I got an email from Esperanza -- her baby girl was born at 29 weeks, she's in the NICU and doing well there so far. I don't know if Esperanza will find time to get online, but I figured it was of general interest to the whining community even if she doesn't see our congratulations and well wishes.
ESPERANZA!!!
Thanks for letting us know PS!
((( esparanza ))) sending much love and bundles of good wishes to your tiny one!
thanks, PS, for passing along the news.
Oh, Scrivner. Truly, I am so sorry. Please don't look at this as a failure. You have produced two beautiful children. I'm sure you have both grown in all sorts of ways through this marriage. The divorce itself will be another fucking growth experience. It's not a failure, it's life. I am so sorry for your pain. I will think of you.
Scrivener, I am so sorry. Please accept my sympathies and hugs.
I am so happy for Esperanza! May her NICU stay be brief.
Mazel tov to Esperanza and hoping that all goes well.
Congrats to Esperanza!
Hi everyone. Thanks for passing along the news, Phantom.
Antiwhine is that everything is going reasonably well with the wee little one.
Whine? Yep, back to what it's all about. The nipples, they are sore. My bonding time with the breastpump is not the most fulfilling, but necessary.
Sorry no time to read the rest of the whines, but I want to say thank you all for your support over these last months of fertility treatments, angst, and joy. It makes a difference to have someone new to whine at!
I vote for Esperanza for ERM. "bonding time with the breastpump" has to be a classic.
cheers to esperanza! hang in there with the NICU stay and with the pump. i know you don't know me, but if you need commiseration on the pumping or on NICU stays, email me. i been there.
and now, my whine. first, the background:
right now, for reasons that are far too stupid to go into, i am working three jobs. three. in fact, i worked all three of them today. what did i ask my spouse to do? pick up the kid (who was at work with me) so i could get some work done. he did and i did. that is not the whine.
here is my whine:
while i ate dinner, i decided i required a beverage. as we are out of everything except whole fat milk (gross) and white grape juice (grosser), i opted for a beer. i selected my beer, opened it, and at the moment the cap hissed, my spouse started crabbing at me for taking the last beer.
1. it was not the last beer.
2. i proved this by handing him a beer and telling him the total count of remaining beers (3).
3. he was halfway through his beer before he quit hassling me for appearing to have taken the last beer.
4. the dumbest part? (omg, this is all dumb - what could be dumber yet?) we're not even beer drinkers. these beers have been in the fridge for two months. what the fireplace was the big deal?
Amy, that is a serious contender for the Old Skool whine.
And Esperanza, I'm so glad you're doing well! And I'm pumping as I type this, so I hear you on that front.
i second liz on the mullet nomination for esparanza. xoxo
and amy, that is indeed a classic whine. cluestick and a bottle of really bad beer to the beloved.
Oh! Esperanza, I just wanted to let you know that Bag Balm is great at soothing chapped skin.
Pumping does get easier. I hope that you don't have to do it for long.
XO
Esperanza, hooray!
From the sisterhood of NICU moms, I am sad to say that you *are* going to bond with that breastpump. But I hope it's a short acquaintance.
Esperanza -- SO SO SO glad to hear that the wee little one is doing as well as can be expected in the NICU. I'm sure your sweet baby girl is getting the best possible care, and my only assvice is to rest now, if you can. When she comes home from the NICU, rest will be snatched whenever you can find it. Much love to you, "Grow!!" vibes to Baby, and best wishes from her WW family.
Liz, I think I have the same ick that you have. I, too, hacked up what I thought was a lung this morning, only to find a large lump of greenish goo. Lung butter. Mmmm, NOT a good thing. Do not want!
I think the reason I'm sick (again) is due to my lovely (but germ-factory) children. I have one who spends most of every day with a finger stuck in her mouth. I constantly redirect her, telling her that I love her, but don't love her germs, but that finger stubbornly stays there. I caught her taking her finger out of her mouth yesterday, and *drawing on the table with her saliva.* Needless to say, I was totally grossed out, and went immediately for the Clorox wipes.
Amy -- what?!?! Should I MAIL him a beer? (And anyway -- beer? Yuck. I'd just drink water.)
Votes for Jeni for the thrush, and the poor, poor nipples. I been there. (The one thing that worked for me with the cracked nipples was expressing a bit of my milk and rubbing it (gently) into the nipples, and then let them air dry for a few minutes. Worked much better than any cream did. Of course, YMMV.)
Plus, still more votes for Scriv because he just is getting battered from all sides.
DMD I don't know how you do it all!
Scrivener - I'm staring down the barrel of that same gun and it's so scary. (I'd appreciate it if y'all would keep that between us since it hasn't reached open secret status yet.) Like others said, even if things ended badly, so many good things came out of your time together. Never forget that.
Kathy A - How is your kitty tonight? Your Ode made me cry a little.
Esperanza - I am so glad that your baby is under good care. I don't have any advice but I do want to share some hugs.
Sarah - My loneliness talks to me the same way. Sometimes the timing is just Teh Suck. I hope things go more smoothly soon.
Liz - it sounds like it is time to call in the big antibiotic guns. Don't forget your probiotics with that.
Diane and Amy - I have some pretty scary looking cluesticks you can borrow for awhile.
My whine: Dancing Girl's allergy testing was inconclusive so she has to have the intradermal ones in two weeks.
antwhine: She can resume her Claritan.
Whine: But only a week.
Antiwhine: I will have answers! in her medical records! and a treatment plan her father will have to follow no matter what (see note to Scriv for clues).
Whine: I feel like a crappy parent because every academic milestone my youngest child blows through reinforces the need for me to think of his future. His needs will not be met at the middle and high school levels anywhere in a state-funded school. Tuition for schools that nurture his gifts are easily half what I can expect to earn next year. That would be on the gross. Add in pending family upheaval and I want to take away all of his books or something.
Antiwhine: He still has almost five more years of the wonderful school he is at now with the means to nurture him. We are very lucky.
OK, first off, I think Klee is the hands-down winner of the Risk of Elevated Mullet award for "lung butter". Klee, you've gotta warn us next time so we can pee before reading!
Scriv, I'm so sorry =( I've always said that divorce is worse than having a spouse die, because nobody brings you any damn casseroles. It's a long, long tunnel, but there is light at the end. Feel free to email me personally if you ever want someone who's been there, done that, gave up 50% of the T-shirt.
Liz- one word- YOGURT. Don't take antibiotics without it! Rest, stay hydrated, and don't read "The Stand".
Jeni...owwwwie! I second the breast milk/air dry suggestion.
Whine: my poor leedle Italian greyhound had a HUGE tumor removed today from his neck. He's such a happy little guy. Vets says that one day the cancer (hemangiosarcoma) will just go to his spleen and kill him painlessly in his sleep. Charming. In the meantime, can I get a painkiller For the vet bill?
Whine 2: We have to put our 12 year-old cat down tomorrow. Kidney failure. I raised her from a 3 week-old kitten and bottle-fed her myself. She thinks my hair is her mommy. I am going to miss her soo much =(
Whine 3: Our house is not ready to put on the market, I leave in a week to pack up and sell my Dad's house in FL, and nobody can find my Power of Attorney paperwork. Oops.
So, anyone wanna buy a house in FL or CA? Special pixie pricing ;)
Hugs to everyone!
Oh, Scrivener. I just got caught up on your blog today, and my heart is breaking for you. (Hug) (Hug) (Hug)
I'm hoping that my whine is Old Skool and not Spoiled Brat:
My new Nano is making me sneeze uncontrollably!
You see, my birthday/Christmas present from Mr. QWP arrived two months early, showing up this week. At the height of the worst cold I've had in a while. I've been giddy about my first mp3 player, but somehow having the earbuds in my ears and the music playing irritates my sinus pressure and makes me sneeze!
Also: I have to teach non-stop seminars between 10am and 2pm tomorrow, with this head cold. And I spent the day today on the futon, wearing sweatpants. I don't know how this is going to work.
Late-breaking (also minor) whine: the provisional date for one of the finals I'm supervising has been set. And it's on my birthday. On a Saturday morning.
Booooooooooo!
(I was going to proclaim that this will be my worst birthday ever, and then remembered that my uncle died on my 25th birthday. Never mind then.)
Late to the ball, but huge hugs to Scriv, who seems to be having almost as crappy a year as I am. Really, it's enough, God. Stop with the crapola, please. Now, onto me...
I have a cold. I am phlemish. I can't breathe.
Son is getting better, methinks. This is good. But he ate an entire TJs Peppermint Jojo Cheesecake all by himself. Something I was saving for shabbat dessert.
Wonderful IEP meeting for Daughter.
Excellent CAP meeting for family. Dept of Mental Health has finally accepted us so we will get services. YAHOO. Took forever, hopefully it will be worth it.
No new car for us. Can't afford it. Old car remains unregistered, uninsured, needs 4 new tires and 2 new taillights to get back on the road. Not gonna happen. Can't afford it.
Have discovered chocolate covered Altoids and all is right with the world. Those damn things are orgasmic.
Still on Congestive Heart Failure overload. Water restriction down again, and Lasix up, so not only do I have to stay at home all day long peeing, but I'm having some leakage issues as well. My children are disgusted. I am just tired of it all. I want it to stop so I can go back to normal.
I need more underwear. Desperately.
ugh. my thoughts are with everyone suffering from the hell that is physical illness and the slow torture that is heartbreak. (i'm thinking of you here, scrivener.)
no, klee. do not send him a beer. he does not deserve one. thanks, though. hope the lung butter clears up!
congrats to esperanza and the wee one. I hope all goes well there.
Whine: I heard about a naturopath in town who works with headache patients. Great, except that she's mucho-expensive. $150 per visit and my coverage will only cover a VERY small amount of that. Wah.
hugs to klee, miranda, debangel, QWP, margalit, and sue.
miranda, i'm so sorry about the barrel of the gun.
margalit, glad some things are going better. but damn, you're in the running for a survivor medal.
QWP, that's some good old school!
sue, you need to kiss those headaches goodbye, sister. crossing fingers.
I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay late to the ball. So don't mind me if I come in clumping in hiking boots and rags for clothes and my hair falling all over the place instead of a ball gown and glass slippers and a tiara (as if!).
Whine: I think I was pregnant for a few weeks. Y'all more or less know we are trying to get pregnant so the whine is that I *was*. But I don't REALLY know, it's just that I was a week late and I'm NEVER late (only early). And I spent a lot of time being nauseous and I am NEVER nauseous (except for the two times I've taken codeine without eating, one would think I would LEARN but whatever). So the evidence is inconclusive but suggestive.
Anti-whine: I was pregnant! For awhile I've been harboring a secret suspicion that I don't ovulate (NO basis for such suspicion) or something. So we are calling this 'the trial run' and trying again. A BIG thank you to whoever suggested fertilityfriend.com. I never knew how intimate I would be with my cervical fluid! (TMI, I know) But I think this made a big difference in the planning of the sex (TMI again).
Further anti-whine: I was not too too upset when my period did arrive, even though I expected to be a bit upset and even though I started looking, very casually, for a doula and midwife, etc. I think this is because I had a secret suspicion that I wasn't pregnant all along, I must have gone to the bathroom about a million times. I'm big on secret suspicions that are negative. I have to work on the ones that are positive. Anyone who thinks I'm a little neurotic is right. Anyone who thinks that I was not really pregnant or who has a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to have a hard time getting and remaining pregnant, well, don't add your voice to my inner one! It does fine on its own, thanks. {smiling} Seriously though, I am quite sanguine about it all.
HUGS to everyone with pets who are reaching the end of their lives. I've cried for you a little already. Congrats and yeah, GROW! Vibes for Esperanza and baby, respectively. Big hugs and coping vibes to Scrivener. Love to all the pixies and hoping for a quick disappearance of all and any lung butter and other physical, emotional, spiritual (what? no one is possessed by the devil? it's just my cat?) ailments.
Phew. Hugs to anyone who made it through this long, very late-breaking whine/anti-whine/votes comment!
Just realize about the bad pun (sanguine). Sorry!!!! Maybe no one else noticed???? and now I am pointing it out. never mind, you never saw this....
((( turtlebella )))
reason # 457 to go find work outside the home: junior dog just got a bloody nose chasing a squirrel. i think it was just that she ran into the tree in her excitement.
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