The headlines are giving me a headache. But here's the tree my daughter bought and decorated, to cheer herself through finals!
I think that demonstrates a good life/work balance, not to mention self care.
The dog has the sadz because the man had to go to work today. Sigh. The cats have arranged themselves on top of heater vents, because it is the tiniest bit nippy this morning.
What's going on with you?
66 comments:
I forgot an AW: I made another experimental chile relleno last night, and num. Found a better kind of pepper for the purpose. Figured out a better method of blistering and peeling the skin (leaving them in the toasteroven to soften for a while).
Tonight, I may move along to enchiladas. Have had some serious Mexican cravings lately! (This makes more sense and is more healthy than the hamburger cravings that inexplicably haunted me a few months ago.)
Oh, the toasteroven! It is perfect for this task, because I can just set the timer (like if I was making toast), and it will only run so long. The peppers -- this time pasillas -- need to be turned so there are blisters all over. The timer frees me up to go do other things between turn turn turning. Probably everybody else knows this trick already, but I'm a little slow sometimes....
I usually do the peppers on the grill outside. Pasillas are a good choice, but I don't think we have them in my regular grocery store here.
AW: extricated myself from some extra work at a meeting today
W: got pulled in to some more anyway
Toaster oven is such a clever idea!v I've also only done peppers on the grill (meaning that I apparently have never charred peppers in the winter).
Today's our last day with a four year old, and E and I blundered into a really lovely day. I apparently missed all phone calls yesterday (all handsets for the cordless phones were left off the chargers and died, and no one noticed because we have cell phones), and didn't know that piano lessons were cancelled today, due to the piano teacher having a sick kid. We found this out when we showed up at her house at 9am, as they were on their way to the doctor! I was worried that E would be disappointed (she loves her group lesson), but we decided to spend our found time having fun. We went to the mall and looked at their Christmas decorations, spent an hour at the library (where we were the only ones in the children's section, since the library had just opened), went to the grocery store to get supplies and a helium balloon for E's birthday, and then went for smoothies at the food court. If we'd gotten the message about piano lessons, we would have just stayed home and watched TV.
And then we went home and made fun birthday cupcakes to share with the preschool class tomorrow!
Considering that tomorrow, E's actual birthday, will be a hectic day, I'm glad that we had this little holiday together.
Oh, sounds like a great "found" day, QWP! You need not worry about her actual day being disappointing, because she's had the better part of a week all about her birthday, and anyway, cupcakes at school!
I love your daughter's tree, kathy! It's lovely, and yes, a sign of good self-care.
Sorry about the added workload esperanza. Chunky meetings have a way of only feeling productive if everyone at the table goes away feeling burdened with tasks. *sigh*
Yum on the grilled pepper front. We too have only grilled them outdoors. In the summer.
QWP - that sounds like a wonderful "found" day. Happy Birthday to E!!
We're having quite a winter storm here! I may head home soon, however, as I've only been here an hour and we've lost power a few times already. So far, no outages at home.
STBX's DV offender assessment with the psychologist has been going on for 3 months now, and we don't even have an estimated completion date.
M&M, age 15, broke her ankle in her very first gymnastics competition, which will put her out for the season. After taking lessons since she was a wee thing, this was the first and only session she was going to do it competitively. She's devastated. At least she doesn't need surgery, though.
Toddler (preschooler) N is turning 4 this week. Attempting to an off Mommy Milk, which she is having a very difficult time with. Issues with stool withholding have worsened again recently.
Trying to negotiate a financial settlement to finalize what I'm still not sure is going to be a legal separation or if STBX is going to push it to a divorce. It is... Difficult. Of course.
Argh, posting from phone, sorry. Attempting to fully wean N off Mommy Milk, is what I was trying to say.
PK! I've been wondering how you're doing. I'm sorry about M&M's broken ankle and gymnastics disappointments.
Happy birthday to Toddler/Preschooler! Good luck with the weaning attempt, and solidarity/sympathy for the withholding issues. E has dealt with a lot of that, too (anxiety related), and I send hugs. (And fingers crossed that the DV assessment is resolved properly.)
Sue, we have heavy snow here too, but without wind. Stay safe, and I hope you don't have any power outage.
((( PK ))) Oh, I'm so sorry about the broken ankle; and hope she heals well. And sorry about N's ongoing separation difficulty. And the separation of assets -- wow, that's been going on for a while, no? It will be good to get that settled, anyway, so that you have financial security and can not have to worry about that part any more. xoxoxo
Hope all with northern storms stay safe and have power.
And -- more wildfires, in Southern California. Worried about friends and relatives down there. Bad winds predicted for at least a couple days. Not supposed to happen in December.
Well, STBX is now talking divorce and seems to be interested in making sure I have as little long term financial security as possible, so we'll see. I'm still hoping for a legal separation and that he will be ordered to get treatment.
((( PK ))) Talk with your lawyer. But you have had a long-term marriage; and you have spent many years of that time keeping the homestead going, teaching your kids, covering all the this and that. You're in a different state, but I can't imagine he would be allowed to leave you in the cold financially, especially since all your kids are still young. And etc.
It would be great if he was ordered to get treatment; but better if he was seeking it himself. I'm so sorry for this mess. Sending much love. xoxo
A is going to be 17 in a couple of months; hard to believe. But the youngest two will be minors for quite a while still. We've been married 18 years. I think that's considered long-end of a mid-term marriage, but I think between that and my health issues, there's a good chance if it goes to court he might be ordered to pay permanent or at least long term maintenance. I hope.
(((pk))) I'm so sorry for all your ongoing troubles. I've been wondering how things were going. It seems unlikely to me that any court would see fit to let him leave you and the children high and dry.
(((PK)))
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He will for sure have to pay child support as long as the kids are minors. But he makes enough to easily be able to fully support two households, without me having to work. Since my health issues do impact my ability to work and I have been a SAHM for 17+ years, I'm hoping that's what will happen.
It is a long term marriage; I think your analysis should be right, PK. xoxo
AW: Daughter's first final is over! They are spacing them decently, so the next is Friday, yay. With luck, the therapy dogs will return today.
W: She had her first experience with the kind of jerk who announces, "Oh, that was soooo easy!" as soon as the proctor tells everybody to put their pencils down -- a move intended to freak out the others, while blustering about oneself. What a classy guy, right?
AW/W: I found a lot of great stuff for the stockings! But, um, all these cute and perfect things cost more than anticipated. Ah, well...
Oh, remember my wonderful elderly neighbors, and how Mr. is having a lot more problems? A few weeks ago, he had an incident that took him back to the hospital... Well, their son has been visiting from overseas for almost a month, and really picking up the tasks that are hard for his mom to do. They have been trying to talk mom into some in-home care, but she is adamant that she doesn't want it. Dad needs a good amount of lifting and shifting, which is more than she can do; and he has a lot of trouble tracking what is going on.
I was chatting with the son and daughter yesterday, while mom took dad to something at the senior center -- and the mom ended up calling them, because she could not get her husband back in the car. Unfortunately, the son is going home on Friday.
Google says that a long-term marriage is considered 20-25 years or more, and under 20 is considered mid-term. We had our 18th anniversary this summer, but we've been separated a year and a half so it was under 17 when papers were filed. So I'm not sure how that's calculated in my state, typically. The fact that I have been a SAHM and have no degree or job qualifications, while he has been able to use joint assets to increase his marketability and earning power, is a big factor though from what I understand. That and my health issues. Odd that he was claiming my health issues rendered me "unable to parent" and now he's wanting to negotiate as if he believes I could work full time, which we both know would not be possible, especially while also being primary caregiver for the children.
pk, I really hope that's how it works out for you and the children. That would be the best situation for all of you. Hoping and praying...
Yay for your daughter's first final, kathy! The blustering classmate sounds like he could one day work for a certain obnoxious "leader" who lives in a monochromatic house at the moment...
Sorry your neighbours are still struggling. Perhaps when things become a greater challenge when their son returns home, they will both see the need for help?
I keep asking myself if I will be as adamant about my independence when I reach that age/stage of life. I want to believe I'm more practical than that, but who knows? It also helps that hubby has already reached many of the milestones seniors bristle against - using a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, then not driving...etc. I've seen how much life is improved when you simply admit you need help.
A friend of mine fought her disability like most people fight cancer - like she was going to "beat it" (she wasn't, her damaged spine was not going to heal). After two years of falling and exhaustion, she got a wheelchair. Now she's not using every ounce of energy she has just getting from point A to point B and she has so much energy! She's enjoying life and wondering why she didn't do it sooner.
Poor Mr. Neighbor and family. Hopefully the kids will be able to convince Mrs. to get help. If they qualify for disability or Medicaid, an in - home helper may be covered.
PK, I'm crossing appendages and praying that things work out in your favour (and I continue to fume at your awful STBX).
W: E and I went to visit friends that, who we haven't seen since the summer, and right before it was time to leave, E bumped her head (the girls were wrestling), and she proceeded to have an hour-long tantrum. It was awful. I'm evaluating whether she had a concussion, but so far they only symptoms are a sore spot on her head and irritability. And mostly I'm feeling embarrassed, to have the play date end like that. It was really bad.
PK, the little I know about my state is that 10 years and over counts as longstanding; according to my sister, who anecdotally got a little continuing support after dissolution, even though she was working herself. There weren't kids or health issues involved in her marriage -- those count.
Oh, no, about E and the head bump! Even though she's reached the grand age of 5, kids get tired and fall apart sometimes. Fingers crossed, but you're watching it, and it's probably just a bump.
The neighbors have no money woes; they can easily afford in home help. It's just that Mrs. Neighbor worries that people in the house will spread germs (she has to sanitize everything if someone is over and touches anything, or uses the rest room), and someone might potentially paw through their things. Anyway, we'll just see what develops.... She cannot lift her husband, and he needs lifting; so I'm afraid something will develop sooner rather than later.
Sue, great story about your friend! Ain't it the truth, that sometimes, we all need some help.
PK, I hope this thing is resolved sooner rather than later. This uncertainty and psychological manipulation (that's about as nice as I can be right now) have got to stop.
Hoping that the neighbors can face reality in time for the son to help them arrange some help.
Ouch, E! I hope the head feels better soon, and spirits moderate.
Sue, I had the exact same thought about the jerk student's job prospects. Jerk.
About the jerk: both my husband and I think he probably didn't do well on this exam.
PK, what esperanza said about all the uncertainty. xoxo
The neighbor family has been thrashing this through for a month, and so I do not think anything will be resolved by Friday. Daughter is not so far away, so she's still on the beat and visits regularly; but there is a lot of traffic between there and here. She knows that next time there's a crisis, my plan is to stay calm but call EMS.
Kathy, speaking as someone who has administered and marked many, many university exams, a student pulling that stunt would cause me a mental note of basically, "Oh really? It was that easy? We will see how you really did on that exam," and I would likely be biased to have a little less grace in the marking process. (It's very rare that the first one finished gets the top mark. The first ones are a mix of students who gave up early on and were waiting until they were allowed to leave, and students who did pretty well but who rushed and made silly mistakes because they wanted to demonstrate how quickly they could finish.)
A "whew, glad that's over with" would have been more endearing, though still annoying from the first finisher. (I was an excellent and speedy test taker and was also so embarrassed to be finished first that I would wait until someone else turned theirs in ahead of me).
I should clarify that instructors aren't biased against whomever finishes first! But that whole "that was easy" stunt would bother me as the one who wrote it (and it would be pretty clear he was trying to mess with the other students).
AW: E got through the rest of the day okay. Definitely a bit more emotional than usual, and she was a little sensitive to light in the afternoon, and so I think she was a tiny bit concussed. We'll monitor her tonight, and tomorrow if there are any more symptoms, I'll either keep her home, or ask that she take it easy at school tomorrow. (I've had multiple concussions, and so it's something that I am pretty paranoid about.)
Oh, i didn't read your comment that way QWP. I just found the attention placed on me (most of which was probably only in my imagination) as a fast finisher to be embarrassing.
I think part of the final grade is based on class participation. Somebody like this jerk probably didn't make a positive impression there.
I went to a larger law school, and some of the people in my first year section (100 people) participated in a game called "jackass bingo," for the ones who always had their hands in the air and crowed about their own wonderfulness. I was far too serious to participate directly, but it cheered my soul to hear a little "bingo" every now and then. Sometimes several in one lecture! The professors must have known about this, too; it was apparently a tradition passed along by more experienced students.
Haha oh no, this guy did this in a class with a participation grade? And there's a chance he hasn't been given this participation grade yet? I'm actually cackling, because: wow, dude, you may have just dropped your own grade there!
Jackass bingo. hahahahahaha!
In seminary, we would keep tally marks of the times our New Testament professor would take his glasses off and on. And how many times he said, "Having said that..."
We had a classmate whose first career was as an attorney. I'm pretty sure he was on the jackass bingo card in law school.
I really, really wish I'd had bingo cards for grad school.
My jackass bingo card fills up almost immediately every day when I turn on the news.... just sayin'.
--Neighbor Lady
Sadly, these exams are administered by people from the registrar's office. But this guy and his pals (all jovial guys) have apparently made an impression amongst their peers, anyway.
LOL, NL! Oh, with you there, sister.
For sure on the bingo cards, in laughing and groaning at the same time.
I'm
NL, oh yes.
kathy a, we knew the jerk and his friends were all men. That went without saying. I"m sorry there won't be karma from their professor, though.
Jackass bingo! Love it.
We had an Old Testament prof who would come into class in the morning looking perfectly fine but by the time we were finished the session he looked like he had slept in his clothes. His clothes and hair ended up covered in chalk, his shirt would be untucked - it was remarkable. People who weren't in the class would occasionally sit in just to watch the show. A bingo card would have been helpful and fun!
One of my professors had a parlor trick of writing backwards on the chalkboard -- he faced the class, and wrote behind himself without looking. It wasn't that entertaining after the first couple of classes. He, too, emerged covered in dust.
I need to figure out what to serve for Christmas. My husband's talking kebabs. My fellow mom-in-law is apparently requesting some of those chiles rellenos that I've been experimenting with. This might end up being the International Buffet.
That sounds like a really fun Christmas dinner, Kathy!
AW: E woke up with morning with no ill effects from yesterday's head bump.
W: but she also woke up with a sore throat and a temperate that JUST barely classifies as a low grade fever. I've given her a pain killer and am still sending her to school today, but my birthday is tomorrow, and I have a sinking suspicion that my plan to do something fun during preschool time tomorrow will be replaced with nursing a sick kid.
Think positive! xoxo
Y'all probably know that I always kept my original name; that is the name I always use, and my legal name. It is really not that unusual, is it? An old and dear friend just sent a holiday card addressed to Mr. and Mrs. [his first name] [his last name]. I mean....
Meanwhile, I put in a special order for the right peppers with my produce guy, for Christmas. This should be fun. :)
Did it feel distinctly like they were writing to your husband and his sister? (I'm correct in remembering that SIL has the same first name as you?)
AW: The kid seems to have rallied since I gave her medicine at lunchtime, so hopefully tomorrow can proceed as planned.
Does anyone have ideas for a Christmas present that I can send in the mail to a lovely friend? I have a friend, who lives in Sue's city (so, two provinces away), who is always very thoughtful (and I am very flakey). She made E a gorgeous quilt when she was born. She's sent us birthday and Christmas presents every year, and they're always so thoughtful, and I'm always suddenly struck by the fact that we haven't thought of anything, yet again. Last year, I managed to arrange for a gift certificate at a local fabric store, which she loved (and which meant that it arrived before she went on Christmas holidays). I'm stuck this year. She's crafty and a quilter, and an archivist, and art person, and I'm stumped for a good idea!
Wait! I just remembered that I live two blocks from the big, main art gallery: I can get her something from the gift shop! There we go. (I know that she likes to send art things from her city, so it would be nice to send something from an artist from my own city.)
AW: SNOW!
W: I had to drive in it. I do not know how to drive in it. It was snowing very hard, big fat fluffy flakes, and it was night time. How am I supposed to see? So confusing.
W: Likely no school tomorrow, or at the very least, a delayed start
W: My throat hurts. I was not completely over that last cold, and here's another. Bah.
Perfect, QWP! Or, something gourmet and regional might work, too. How very sweet.
No, this friend never knew my SIL; and I was really there for her during some very very hard years, and a bunch of good years too. I dunno; she does try to be proper, and goes into holiday overdrive. But still. She knows my name. Well, our card to her family will go out tomorrow. With my name, as always.
Tonight: pasta with red sauce; the chicken I made last night but nobody ate. And some zukes.
Esperanza! SNOW! I mean, usually you are talking a hundred zillion degrees, so... Snow? Have fun!
W: School cancelled tomorrow. I really think a delayed start would have been sufficient. I had a really long to-do list that will have to be edited significantly.
AW: Snow! Lots of snow!
It's for the best that school is cancelled, so that everyone isn't out there trying to drive (on what I presume are summer tires?). That always cancelled school when it snowed in our old city, and even Mr. Q and I stayed off the roads, not because we didn't know how to drive in it (I even took my driver's test in the winter here), but because no one else on the road was safe.
Esperanza, I'm so excited that you all have snow. So fun! (But I'm sorry about your sore throat!)
Mr. Q and I just went running to E's room, because we thought we heard her throw up. It turned out she was tossing and turning because our getting-ready-for-bed routine was too noisy. She told us to stop it and go away. As we did, quite happily!
By this morning, our street was just wet. It's now 9:00 (when the bus would have come on a two hour delay), and the sun is out and it's melting. Some elevated roads are icy, but mostly it's fine.
And I'm snickering at "summer tires." We only have the one kind.
Add all over aches to my sore throat. But no fever.
Hooray for not throwing up.
We only have one kind of tires, too.
Happy Birthday, QWP!
kathy, back in the 80s I worked with a very progressive (for the time) young woman who received a credit card she had applied for from a Big Department Store. It had her name as Mrs. (husbands first name) (husband's last name). Well, she went on a crusade. Eventually her card had neither Mrs. nor Ms. and only her first and last names.
It's one thing from a corporation, but from friends at the holidays?? I know she's an old dear friend, but she's hovering close to a square on the bingo card.
SNOW, esperanza!! How exciting! Hope you're feeling better soon.
Happy Birthday, QWP! I like idea of an artsy gift from your city. For another occasion, let me know what she likes and I can help with local options. There's a good Community Auditorium for concerts, a good community theater, and plenty of nice restaurants - all good for gift certificates. And I think the Big Fabric Store expanded last year, so that's good too!
AW: I had such a productive day yesterday, I actually don't have much to do today. I can work ahead a bit, but it's nice to feel the pressure off a tiny bit.
W: I just looked around my house and it's kind of a mess. More untidy than in need of a good scrub, but still...I could use a house elf.
Yay for productivity, Sue! I lost mine, probably somewhere under the untidiness....
QWP, that's pretty funny about E telling you two kids to be quiet and let her rest.
Clyde has gone to day care, because The Man has not been able to take him for hikes this week, and this dog has a lot of energy. I swear this is true, he was jumping up and down on the bed this morning! He was so excited to go to day care that he almost dragged me over. Then he bounded in, and put his big paws on the counter to say hi! Bouncy bouncy bouncy!
Yay! Daughter's second final is over, she feels great! Next one isn't until Tuesday, and that one isn't worrying her so much.
Hi! Thanks for the birthday greetings! (And Sue, in the future I think I might recruit you to help me find something for my friend.) I've had a fun day today! E was really pleasant in the morning, and then during preschool, my sister and I went shopping to some cute little shops, and then went out for tea. Now, Mr. Q and E are our getting us pizza, and I am blessedly alone.
Yay for blessedly alone! And Happy Birthday!
Today has not been as bad as I was imagining. The Baboos went outside 4 times for at least 30 minutes, sometimes an hour. If I don't mind the multitude of wet things, it was all fun. I managed a nap. Ibuprofen is keeping the throat and the muscle aches manageable. Hot tea with honey is doing the rest.
I'm sorry that you've been so sick when the weather is so fun outside! But I'm glad that the fun weather kept the baboos occupied so well.
Sounds like a good birthday, QWP!
And not a bad snow day, Esperanza -- most likely the only one you'll ever get locally. ;)
Mr. Elderly Neighbor went to the hospital again yesterday; he's having breathing problems, might have pneumonia. His son was supposed to go back home overseas today, but has decided to stay on for a bit. Mrs. Neighbor is really grateful her son's around; and when I saw them, daughter was sitting at the hospital with her dad. This part is really hard on everybody.
The poor neighbour family, Kathy. I'm glad that Mr. Neighbour is getting help in the hospital, and that his son can stay longer, but it's such a distressing situation.
AW: I had a really lovely birthday! Mr. Q felt guilty, because in previous years he was able to take his one annual EDO on my birthday, and then we had a fun day together (well, two years ago, that EDO/birthday combination was spent doing a home inspection and putting in an offer on this house, but that was exciting!). He didn't do enough extracurricular last year to get an EDO this year (he had to cut back because of grad school), and he felt really bad about it. But it wasn't a big deal! He made me breakfast, and we had takeout for supper, and because E had school in the afternoon, I still had a break. And he didn't have to work in the evening, and so we caught up on all the TV he's missed, ate snacks, and I finished the book I was reading. Is it weird that this was a more satisfying birthday than previous years when I had a party?
That sounds lovely, QWP!
When you read today about somebody's speech celebrating the Civil Rights Movement, it's important to remember that just last night, that same person gave a speech celebrating hizownself, as well as promoting a child molester who also thinks things were better in olden times (specifically, during slavery). Today's speech was scripted, and there has already been comment on how commendable it was that he managed to stay mostly on script.
We live in some very weird times.
Can I get a Posse? Contractor neighbor has 2 big trucks and some other cars. We live on a cul-de-sac with limited parking; and he knows where neighbors usually park in front of their houses.
He parked one of his freakin' giant trucks not only in front of Elderly Neighbor's house, but blocking part of her driveway! When her son drove her home from the hospital for a short rest, they could barely get into the driveway, and it's difficult, because there is a sharp slope upward in the driveway -- so doors tend to slam on one when one is disembarking.
Mrs. Neighbor is afraid to call him, so I did -- but he didn't pick up on his cell, which he carries everywhere, so I left a message. We have spoken before about how the Elderly Neighbors need space on the street. No call back yet. Grrrr.
AW: date night, dinner out tonight.
The posse is definitely ready to ride on behalf of Elderly Neighbour! How terrible!
Whining worked! The giant truck has moved, leaving space for Mrs. Neighbor.
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