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Monday, June 27, 2016

Sum, sum, sum, Summertime!

Big and small, whines and anti's.  What's up with you?

74 comments:

kathy a. said...

W: It looks like I accidentally removed all the comments from last week. Very sorry.

kathy a. said...

AW: Wait, no, that didn't happen. Somehow I brilliantly re-published last week's post. Clearly, not enough coffee in my system yet....

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Well done fixing it, Kathy!

W: I'm doing more reading, and it looks like Yahoo has NO way of giving me access to my Flickr account. They've automated everything, and have no work-around anymore. I'm just going to have to download my photos from the phone app, while my account still lets me access the app, and cancel my paid account.

A. Nony Mouse said...

Yesterday was the anniversary of a family member trying to kill me. And it's weird, because decades have passed and I often don't remember right away why I am so anxious on a particular date.

Never have forgotten the event; never wanted to forget, because I do not want something like that to happen again. Think I'm the only one who remembers the date, any more. There were reasons I did not go to the police at the time, and I have to own that decision -- even though the older me wishes there were better choices, and hopes things would be different now. Better support. That nobody should be as fearful as I was on that day.

Peace and love, Pixies.

Anonymous said...

(((((((A. Nony Mouse)))))))
You are loved and cared for here.... and these days things would be different! You'd have the pixie posse!
--Neighbor Lady

Queen of West Procrastination said...

((((((Nony))))))) NL is right: you're loved and cared for, and have the support of the pixie posse!

Liz Miller said...

(((((ANM)))))

P_K said...

Yes, hugs.

STBX filed papers on Friday making some accusations against me about technical things and claiming that the two overnight visits (one of which hadn't even happened yet) went fine and that proves he should be able to have all 4 kids for half the summer a week at a time. His evidence for this was his own word th

P_K said...

And an email he wrote to me about his preparations for the visit.

Liz Miller said...

(((PK))))

Ugh.

Sue said...

(((ANM)))

PK - Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

P_K: >:( He's so much the worst that I can only express myself in emoticon.

kathy a. said...

((( PK ))) He seems not to be making a lot of sense. Is that noticeable to others -- like, when he is talking? It is peculiar he is making claims about something that hadn't happened yet, and that he feels his own statements are the definitive "evidence". Freaky. xoxo

kathy a. said...

Also -- is he actually filing his own stuff, no lawyer? Sorry for nosiness, but his behavior is baffling. xoxo

A. Nony Mouse said...

Thanks for the hugs. Back atcha!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but doesn't claiming that a visit went well, in a court document, when it hasn't even happened yet, constitute PERJURY!?!?!?! And isn't that illegal?
Surely, this is another thing that will count against him?
--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

Perjury is under oath, normally expressed in writing as "I declare this is true, under penalty of perjury" in an official signed document -- like a declaration or affidavit. If he's just citing his own regular writings, it only stinks badly.

kathy a. said...

Still, this is Eau de Pants On Fire material.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the clarification, kathy. That makes sense, I guess. I am just hoping so much that his tactics clearly show what kind of a person he is and backfire on him.
--Neighbor lady

P_K said...

It was a sworn statement. He also failed to show up for toddler's therapy appointment today. He has a lawyer but her name wasn't on the stuff turned in on Friday, so I don't know what's up with that.

kathy a. said...

Oh, man. It is highly abnormal for someone who is represented to file his own stuff -- it could mean he and his lawyer have broken up, or could mean he's just doing what he's gonna do. Not good that he also missed the toddler's therapy appointment. Not good he gave an obviously untrue statement under oath to the court.

PK, are your kids home yet?

xoxox

kathy a. said...

Also, PK -- can support people go with you tomorrow? xoxox

P_K said...

Yes, kids are home. Toddler showing pretty severe signs of stress. I have at least 2 support people going with me tomorrow.

kathy a. said...

OK, good. Hugs to all. xoxox

Queen of West Procrastination said...

P_K: xoxoxoxoxo I dearly hope that the judge can smell the Eau de Pants on Fire. (Mullet for Kathy, btw.0

Nervous whining: Book of Faces is driving me to distraction right now. A few hours ago, there were a flurry of posts asking people to pray, because a young second cousin (who just graduated from high school last week) was in a serious car accident, and was airlifted to the nearest big city hospital. And now all those posts are pretty much shut down, but there's a lot of vaguebooking, of people posting profile pictures with her, and people posting memes about crying. And so I'm quietly panicking (but I can't really do anything right now, because anyone I can contact either will know as little as I do, or is so close to the situation that they're keeping the details under wraps until immediate family is contacted). So: prayers, good thoughts, etc, please.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh my goodness, it's exactly as I feared. She didn't survive the accident. Please pray for this family, you guys.

kathy a. said...

((( QWP and everybody ))) Oh, how awful. Sending so much love. xoxo

Anonymous said...

(((((QWP and family)))))
--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Oh, QWP, I'm so sorry. Prayers for everyone.

PK, I have no advice, but sending a hug your way, and to your kids, if it would be welcome.

AW: Mr. E is out of town this week. My mom came to help us finish settling in. Y'all. I was out of the house from 9 AM until 5 PM. Multiple errands--none pleasant, but more pleasant without Baboo "assistance." A good chunk of work that needed to get done. Aaahhhhhhhh. (that was a good sigh).

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Hooray for your mom helping you out this week, esperanza! Kid-free errands are a magical thing.

So, I've apparently given up on productivity this evening, and am gorging on my kid's string cheese while watching YouTube videos.

kathy a. said...

Kudos to Esperanza's mom!

PSA: string cheese is good for you.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Selfish whine: cry headache. Is that a thing other people get? I always get a headache if I've been crying.

Liz Miller said...

(((QWP))) my love to you and your family. And yes, I totally get that headache

Sue said...

((((QWP)))) I'm so sorry. Prayers to you and all the family. Yes on the crying headache. xoxox

P_K said...

Going into court. Deep breaths. My lawyer says we can't introduce anything new at this point. So we can't tell the judge things from the last few days.

Anonymous said...

Hugs, p_k. Best wishes for it to go well.
But I would hope that his continued shenanigans and lies do come out somehow!
--Neighbor Lady

Miranda said...

All the love PK.

All the hugs A Nonny Mouse.

You both are in my thoughts.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

How courts are confusing: how on earth aren't the last few days relevant evidence? And we're standing with you, PK.

kathy a. said...

It's hard to figure out the procedures here -- but this might mean that stbx's latest BS didn't get considered? Hoping all goes well today, PK. xoxo

P_K said...

Well, it wasn't what I was hoping but it definitely was not as bad as it could have been. And it's livable.

She found H in contempt on at least two points. Another one she told him was "a nasty, mean trick" (or some similar wording) designed to make my life difficult but wasn't violating a specific court order so she couldn't find him in contempt on it.

She gave me primary custody, with H having visitation 4 nights/3 days one weekend and 3 days/2 nights the next. BUT, toddler only goes during the day except for one overnight a month. The letter from the toddler's therapist is what made the difference on that.

The kids and I get to stay in the family home, and gave me over 60% of H's paychecks for "family support".

This is only temporary, until the separation or divorce is finalized or until toward the end of summer, whichever comes first.

And there's a continuing restraining order that prohibits direct contact other than electronically, and prevents either of us from going to the other's house.

She did order that the kids go to counseling. H and his attorney claimed that the therapist he quit going to had treated his issues and he didn't need any anger management or abuser treatment because he'd already done that. But she did advise him that if he wanted the restrictions to go away and the issues to get better it would "behoove" him to either get treatment or prove that he had already done so.

kathy a. said...

Really good news, PK! This does sound workable, and good on the family support as well as continuation of the restraining order! And you having primary custody, and the toddler not doing the overnights except rarely. And therapy all around! (Seriously, he tried to pass his previous therapy off as proof he is reformed??)

What does the contempt of court involve? I also really like the lecture about being a jackass (sure she used different words). xoxoxo

esperanza said...

That all sounds reasonable, PK, and like the judge has STBX's number as far as his propensity toward mean, nasty tricks. Hugs, and I'm glad this part is over for you, for the time being.

Liz Miller said...

Yay!! That sounds really good

Queen of West Procrastination said...

The two counts of contempt is very good news, P_K, as is the fact that he is paying family support and you're staying in your home with primary custody. I'm glad that this is livable. (And that the toddler stays with you.)

Pixie power needed, please: my very-extreme-Republican aunt and uncle are stopping by to visit (with my parents, whom they're visiting) for a little while tomorrow. Since I only see them briefly once a year, it's easy to forget their shenanigans, but my sister (who lives with my parents) has been messaging me some of the nonsense they're spouting, and now I'm bracing myself. It'll only be about two hours, but uggggh.

kathy a. said...

QWP, you mean "Republican" as in US GOP? (or similar?)

Well, I'm sure we can put our heads together for some strategy! [1] A good trick is that as the host, you need to be busy with this and that, taking you out of the firing range. [2] Food! Keep it coming! [3] You have an adorable kid. [4] Tour of the new home! And environs! [5] This should go farther up the ladder, but have a list of ready questions about them, about family, etc. -- pop one out every time there's a lull. I'm sure other Pixies have more ideas!!

kathy a. said...

Oh, and [6] interesting news from your end! The questions / news can also be inserted after "oh, let's not talk about that now" -- and yadda, insert change of subject.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Kathy: yep, American (well, my aunt was born up here, but has been living in a red state for decades now, and their POV has become fairly wacky in the past several years). I'm a LITTLE tempted to be a bit passive-aggressive, but maybe I need to just get through the couple of hours.

kathy a. said...

Maybe someone else has a different perspective. Just seems like 2 hours is not enough time to sort out points of agreement before engaging on points of disagreement. xoxo

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Kathy, you're entirely right. I needed some perspective. xoxo

P_K said...

Oops, that should say 4 days/3 nights. So he gets 3 nights one week and 2 the next.

And he does also still have enough to live on. My share of the family income is higher only because my expenses are higher.

Anonymous said...

(((p_k))) so glad that is behind you! And also, so glad the judge has his number. And yay for the contempt findings!
Glad it went as well as it did, and glad you get to stay in the family home!
I've been thinking about you lots! Continued love and hugs and support from here.

((QWP)) hugs to you on the upcoming visit. I like Kathy's suggestions. There's always the trusty: "We'll just have to agree to disagree" if the situation is untenable..... and then pass the chips. :)

--Neighbor Lady

Sue said...

PK, it sounds like a good outcome for now...and I'm so glad the judge called him on the mean nasty behaviour. So many hugs and prayers for you. xoxo

((QWP)) Hugs and love for the visit. Ugh. My hubby had to unfollow (from the book of faces) three cousins who live in the US because of Teh Stupid. Same thing - red states, gun advocates, followers of The World's Most Frightening Idiot.

AW: Visit with my sisters this week as our out-of-town sis is in town.

kathy a. said...

Sue -- mullet for The World's Most Frightening Idiot.

Yay for sister visit!

P_K said...

The contempt finding is basically a verbal reprimand, and I think he might have to pay the legal fees for that part.

kathy a. said...

OK, that's all good, PK! If the judge needs to go there again, it might be -- as we used to say in criminal court -- good planning if he has his toothbrush in his pocket, on account of some different accommodations after. ;)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

AW: the visit was fine. I was an excellent hostess, and mostly behaved myself. Now, there will just be small interactions at church camp next week, and then we won't see them again until next year. They're not even on Book of Faces! (I normally just ignore their extremities, since the last time we saw them they were more on an eccentric prepper/paranoid about government control tangent. But this year my aunt made some closed-minded comments that annoyed even my peaceable parents.) (The funny thing: I suspect they might either not vote, or might vote for a third party? As far as I can tell, they're avoiding talking about the presidential election. I'm keeping my ears open, because my brother -- who refuses to interact with them -- wants me to report back about whether they're Frightening Idiot supporters.)

Miranda said...

Wow. This week went well. Really, really well.

kathy a. said...

QWP, glad the visit went well! I have concerns about a couple of my cousins, politically, and try to steer away as much as possible.

Yay, Miranda!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Hooray, Miranda!!!

kathy a. said...

Happy Canada Day to our Northern Pixies!

kathy a. said...

For the Canadian Pixies -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYlAuhAfp1o

Liz Miller said...

Yay Miranda!

Yay QWP for getting through!

AW: Sipping hot ginger tea, heavily sugared. Really gets that afternoon tea vibe going.

W: Ginger tea looks exactly like a urine sample. I am not even joking.

kathy a. said...

Really selling us on that ginger tea, Liz! LOL

Speaking of which, my junior cat just managed to pee outside the box AND not on the helpful absorbent puppy pad for the second time this week. Pee running *under* the litter box (a different one this time!) again. Mama used swear words. Junior is probably off giving herself a medal.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Pee under the litter box! That is a new one. Between that and Liz's urine sample tea, we have a theme here.

AW: lovely Canada Day, and E had a great time.
W: I slept little last night, for no good reason, and now packing is very difficult while this tired. Hopefully we'll be able to sleep through the fireworks, considering that we live near the city park, where the fireworks are being set off. (Someday, we'll take advantage of the easy walk to see the fireworks, instead of praying that we can sleep through them.)

kathy a. said...

Yay for Canada Day! And here's to a good night's sleep. And a good trip to where ever.

Sue said...

I'm glad the visit went well, QWP - sorry you didn't get any sleep though.

The ginger tea sounds, um, lovely! Sort of...

Yes, kathy, you can be certain Junior kitteh checked "Pee Under Box" off the feline bucket-list.

Yay for a great week, Miranda!!

Canada Day was a work day for me. Because of the (awesome) sister visit, I had not managed to get my sermon started. So I worked on that, then had a wedding rehearsal mid-afternoon at a lovely lodge about a half hour out of town. So, by the time I got there, had the rehearsal, stayed for a polite amount of time to schmooze with the family, drove home - it was a late supper followed by a good book.

Today is a repeat of yesterday with less sermonizing. Just have to check it over and think of something clever for children's time. Then, the wedding. The weather is spot on (sunny, warm but not hot, slight breeze), the lake setting is stunning, happy couple, no weird family dynamics - it's all good.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Happy wedding-ing, Sue!

AW: we decided to leave for camp tomorrow, and be relaxed and ready, instead of leaving today and being frazzled. Activities don't even start until tomorrow, but people can arrive and get settled on Saturday (and the first meal served is Saturday supper). There's no difference if we arrive on Sunday morning instead, except that we might miss a bit of the Sunday morning church service. (But it's church camp: we'll get plenty of church this week anyway, and i can even stream the Sunday service on my phone.) I'm happy to have another night in my own bed.

kathy a. said...

Sounds like a lovely wedding, Sue! (and no bridezilla!)

Good planning, QWP. Hope you have a wonderful time at camp.

Today's the day. Believe the LAST piece of this thing will actually, finally be done.

kathy a. said...

DONE DONE DONE! Just a little cleanup, getting the whole thing copied and bound and delivered. Yay!!

esperanza said...

woo hoo! Go kathy a!

Wise idea, QWP. The Baboos and I are headed out for camp tomorrow afternoon. They'll be going to day camp, and I'll be the chaplain. Because of my duties, we'll get to stay on site rather than the commute we had last summer. The logistics are daunting, however.

Happy wedding, Sue. And "something clever for the children" does me in almost every time.

AW: Mr. E and I have *both* of our cars parked in the miniature (compared to the other one) garage! This is a priority for us, so we're pretty happy. It wouldn't have happened without my mom's help this week.

AW: Mom and I also got the pictures all hung.

W: what suffered was basic house cleaning and hygiene. Whoopsie


kathy a. said...

Yay for the household organization, and more camp!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

W: turns out that the reason why I was having trouble getting going: migraine. Ugh.
AW: at least we're not driving today. Being in the car (when we had to run a few errands) made me want to throw up.

kathy a. said...

Get thee away from the blue screen! Hope that all settles down, QWP. xoxo

Liz Miller said...

Finances. Gah.