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Monday, February 29, 2016

Wednesday Whining - Super Tuesday Edition

Election Day hereabouts tomorrow. Today there's a huge rally I'm not going to (have car-line duty for Muffin Man's after-rehearsal pick-up), and in any case, I'm gonna sit out huge political rallies this year unless I get to meet the candidate. I'm getting too curmudgeonly to be one of thousands pressed too tightly together for too long.

I am, however, going to activist rallies, and we've got a big one on Wednesday at the Supreme Court. I'm putting a bus together, and it's looking like it's going to be very successful!!

What's on your agenda this week?

83 comments:

esperanza said...

Election Day here tomorrow, also, though I voted early, while holding my nose (voted in opposite party's primary, in order to have a voice in almost all the local races, who have no candidates in my party's primary).

W: The house is a disaster. Every single room. Watch out, Mama is in throw-it-out mode. If you stand still too long, she might throw you in the trash, too.

kathy a. said...

W: fireplacing cancer. Found out last night that an old friend is in the hospital with terrible elbow pain, and it turns out to be some kind of metastatic cancer.

esperanza said...

Well, shit, kathy a. I'm so sorry.

Liz said...

I'm so sorry, Kathy.

kathy a. said...

D is part of the first group of friends I met on the internet (or, as my husband used to say before we started meeting in real life, my "imaginary friends"). That group has long since disbanded, but quite a few of us still stay in touch after all these years, talking one another through the various challenges that come up. She has faced so many things -- a blow like this cancer news is so utterly unfair.

esperanza said...

Ack. Mr. E's little boss called to feel him out about a possible move. More to come. Stress levels skyrocketing.

kathy a. said...

((( Esperanza )))

Liz said...

(((Esperanza))). Thinking of you and breathing with you.

esperanza said...

Breathing. Breathing is good. Thanks for the reminder.

Liz said...

Have you ever read, The Bell Family by Noel Streatfeild? It might resonate with you today.

esperanza said...

Hm. Nope. Let me go check it out.

Two hours and no follow up call, so it may not even happen.

Anonymous said...

(((kathy a)))) I am so sorry for the news about your friend.

((esperanza)) so stressful. Who knows, though-- maybe you'd move closer to another one of us pixies, which would be awesome!
:)

--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Hm. Still no phone call. I'm now betting that this particular move doesn't happen. That doesn't rule out other possibilities, though.

NL, it would have been every so slightly close to the rest of the pixies. Mr. E will always stay in this (huge) region of this (huge) state.

Liz, thanks for the book recommendation. I loved all the "Shoes" books but hadn't thought of them in years.

esperanza said...

Well, that shows what I know. If Mr. E wants it, it's his. It's probably a good career move to take it.

Major stress point: the church doesn't own a house, so we'd have to look for a rental or (for the first time in our lives) get a mortgage.

kathy a. said...

Wow, Esperanza! Hopefully there are up-sides to the location? Costs of both the move and the increased living expenses need to be factored in before any decision. Oh, and what does he want? What would the time frame be?

That said, worst case on the housing front is finding a short-term rental solution while you look for something that works. And maybe the perfect rental house is out there. It does feel really stressy taking a mortgage the first time! But if the lender is reliable, the lending rate is decent, and the house will work for you -- then the worst part is signing a boatload of documents. xoxox

esperanza said...

Yeah. I kind of want to throw up right now.

kathy a. said...

((( esperanza ))) You definitely get some time off over this. To think it, or run from it, or both. You get a vote. xoxo

esperanza said...

Oh I know I get a vote. Any move will be hard. This is what I signed up for when we got married, and these transitions have never been easy for me. My parents still live in the house where I lived my first 18 years. I have had to teach myself how to leave one place and go to another.

Sue said...

I'm so sorry about your friend, kathy. Fireplacing cancer.

(((esperanza))) Keep breathing... Is the new location closer to your families? I don't want to presume that's either a good thing, or not so much, just wondering.

esperanza said...

About an hour closer, Sue. Probably a good thing.

We made no decisions last night, and neither of us slept much. We'll see where things stand after the Baboos go to school.

Funny/Ironic/The More Things Change Dept: When the Sweet Baboo was a wee, wee baby, still on oxygen, she never slept well on Saturday nights. Saturday nights, not coincidentally, were the nights in which Mr. E and I were both working and stressing about Sunday morning. So despite the fact that we said *nothing* about any of this in her hearing, Sweet had a terrible time falling asleep, and then was awake in the middle of the night, neither of which has she done in a long time. Methinks someone is quite tuned in to her parents' stress levels. Still.

esperanza said...

Also: federal district court jury summons for the second time in two? three? years. I do not have time for this. (It's the kind where you have to call in once a week to see if they want you to come. You call Sunday night and have to show up Monday morning. Tres convenient).

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the move would take you out of the jury district before your time to serve comes around?
ok, maybe not, but just hoping for the upside.

Good luck navigating all the decision making. Yikes.

Hugs to you during this stress.

--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

If I requested a deferment, then yes NL! Don't think that hasn't occurred to me :)

Thanks for the hugs, everyone. Stomach in knots this morning.

kathy a. said...

Thinking of you, Esperanza. xoxo Oy, about the jury duty too.

esperanza said...

OK, here we go, pixies. He agreed to take the position, with the condition that the church help us figure out housing nearby.

Now taking advice on how to explain this to Baboos, who have never lived/never remember living anywhere else. We can't tell them now, because Mr. E's current church doesn't know, and telling Mini a "secret" is a misnomer. But we want to make sure they hear it from us first. Timing is tricky.

esperanza said...

...and moving date isn't till July, which is a long time to sit with this.

kathy a. said...

Yay for July -- time to get ready! And for the help re-settling. When will Mr. E tell his congregation? Because of the secrecy thing, maybe it's best to hold off with the kids until near the announcement?

That will also give you some time to check out selling points for the Baboos -- closer to grandparents, local attractions, maybe they can help choose room decor, etc. Don't present it as a discussion -- it is a done deal, but will be great because... (And then listen if they express fears or sadness -- just don't invite those reactions.) xoxo

W: My stupid internet was out for 6 hours today. I'm definitely an addict.

esperanza said...

6 hours? I would have the shakes, myself. Especially today.

The announcement will be sooner rather than later, but I'm not sure when. It has to be a done deal with the new church before he can breathe a word of it here. So no telling the kids till just before the announcement. I want them to hear it from us but I don't want them (Mini would be the one) to spill the beans prematurely to the church.

Anonymous said...

Esperanze -- here's hoping the move is a gateway to Wonderful Things for you both. I hope that telling the wee ones goes off without a hitch, and they will be excited to move to a new place. The bonus there is that kids are very resilient and tend (in general, YMMV, though I hope not)to view changes like that as an adventure, and not as a stressor.

Kathy a., I am so done with cancer. I just cringe every time I hear about a new diagnosis these days. I send my best wishes to your friend, and a big hug to you.

There are days that I miss Mama more than others, and I'm trying to find comfort in things that she loved and stories of her, but some days just suck. I've been told that you never "get over" the loss of a loved one, but that as time goes on, you learn to deal with it better, and the hurt morphs more into good memories than a sharp pain. I'm looking forward to those days. I want not to be such a basket case and tear up every time I think of her.

On a more light-hearted note -- one of my cousins (daughter of my mom's sister) put up a Facebook post with the life event "got engaged" yesterday. My stepdad shared it today, and many people on his friends list did not pay attention that it was my cousin's post that he shared. There were quite a few people that that surprised! Mama would have gotten a kick out of that. :)

Offspring seems to be having a high time, though I have not heard as much from her lately. that's probably a good thing -- she's adjusting to classes and taking day trips. If we are friends on the book of faces, you will have seen a lot of her pics as I tend to share them so other family members can see. We got a postcard from her from Abbey Road yesterday. I have it on the fridge. Looking forward to more reports from her....

KLee

esperanza said...

KLee, I'm so thrilled that Offspring is taking full advantage of her semester abroad. One of my college regrets is that I didn't travel abroad.

It looks like we (some part of the family; I'm not actually quite sure who) will meet with New Church next Tuesday evening, and the little boss says to tell Current Church the news next Wednesday. So I won't have to hang on to this secret too long. Which is good.

kathy a. said...

((( KLee ))) Grief just happens how it happens -- its own way for each person. So glad that Offspring is having a great time!

Esperanza, best with Tuesday!

Sue said...

(((KLee))) So many hugs as you navigate your grief. I love that Offspring is enjoying her time abroad.

esperanza, I'm glad the decision has been made and that wheels are in motion to tell the folks who need to know - mostly Mini and Sweet. If you and Mr E had to keep it a secret at home for too long, that would have been tough!

AW: I had a relaxing day off today.

W: I am more stressed than I should be. I recognize the "trapped animal" feeling in my chest and it's not good.

AW: Friday night is girls' night - a bunch of us are going to a friend's house for wine and snacks. It's exactly what I need.

esperanza said...

Sue, I have a trapped animal inside my chest too. I think it's an rhinoceros. Deep breaths to you, and enjoy your night out!

Keeping a secret at home is getting nigh on to impossible. Sweet spells and reads well enough now that that doesn't work. And Mini never sleeps, so we have a hard time getting a moment to ourselves.

AW: But tonight she's asleep 1.5 hours earlier than last night. And Mr. E is still at work.

kathy a. said...

Oh, trapped chest animals are not good. Mmm mmm mmm... Not even sure what to send for that one, but Sue's wine and snacks with the girls sounds like a pretty darned good start. xoxo

So, I bought a bottle of wine today, and got semi-carded. This new clerk could tell at a glance that I am not under 21, so she didn't want to see my license, just have me recite my birthdate out loud -- twice -- because her computer wanted it. Hope she completes her training soon and learns that they all just make up birthdates for the seriously not-a-minor customers. I'm pretty sure I prefer real carding, but was too startled to think of pulling that out and making her read the fine print.

Sue said...

Semi-carded...better than a clerk assuming you get the senior discount, I suppose. :)

kathy a. said...

Oh, crappity crap crap. The fireplacing cancer is believed to have started in her lung, and now is all over, including brain and bones. My poor friend.

esperanza said...

Damn. That is terrible news. I'm so sorry, kathy a.

Sue said...

Oh kathy, I'm so sorry. Fireplacing cancer.

W: Another funeral - this one for a "boy" (he's my age) I went to school with back in the day. He had a hard life, complete with mental illness, drug abuse, and a plethora of health issues. His family is bearing up well, supporting one another, and generally being amazing. They've been through so much over the years, and their strength is remarkable, but Friday will be rough.

kathy a. said...

((( Sue ))) They loved him, still do. That is lovely. xoxo

esperanza said...

Oh, Sue. To have lost a loved one, over the course of years, like that must be so difficult.

W: so tired. I didn't sleep much at all night before last, and Sweet woke me up at 4 am. I didn't go back to sleep after that. Last night I fell asleep relatively easily at 10, then Sweet came in at 2. It took me over 2 hours to fall back asleep, because my monkey mind wouldn't stop. Sweet's sleep is all out of whack because of a late night last Thursday, as well as ~ahem~ high parental stress levels.

AW: It's looking like Mr. E will be able to make an announcement to his church next Wednesday, which will reduce the number of secrets I'm dragging around. It won't be easy, but at least we can talk about it with people.

kathy a. said...

Wishing you all a good sleep tonight, Esperanza. Or failing that, a decent book to turn the monkey brain in a different direction. ;)

esperanza said...

Monkey brain is distractable by reading, but when I put the book away, a million and one moving-related things come right back. Sigh. I would have been ok if Sweet hadn't woken me up, I think.

kathy a. said...

Sending everybody virtual lasagna -- little hot sausage, onion, mushrooms, spinach, spices and lotsa cheese. The actual version is in the oven, despite the late-noted fact that somebody around here ate most of the ricotta cheese, forcing a small-curd cottage cheese substitution, which should be fine since I am totally cheating on the part about boiling the noodles first, so extra moisture is a bonus.

As one of my kids' teachers always said, there are no mess-ups in art.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Giving hugs. Can't write much: migraine. At least E was already in bed. And my sister (who is a chronic migraine sufferer) was here, and got me the right medicine and sent me to bed. I'm being bad right now: I shouldn't be on my phone, but the aura is gone, and the pain hasn't fully hit, and I can't sleep, and I was bored.

Anonymous said...

Oh, QWP, hugs!
Glad you have medicine to help and helpers. Feel better soon!

Made lasagna last sunday using lactose free cottage cheese. Added in some panko breadcrumbs to stiffen up the filling, and then used lactose free (read, fake soy) cheese shreds. It turned out delicious if I do say so myself! Hadn;t had lasagna in ages (the whole lactose thing), and as my son took a bite of his (lactose-full version), he sighed happily and said, "I feel like Garfield!". Apparently feeling like a giant orange cat was a great thing!
It's the small moments, ya know?

--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

NL, I hadn't thought of Garfield in ages! Congrats on delicious lasagna.

QWP, hoping you awoke migraine-free this morning.

AW: I slept much better, though I had to take a B3n@dryl to make it happen. Not coincidentally, Sweet slept much better too.

Sue said...

I'm glad you were able to get some sleep, esperanza. Even anti-histamine-assisted slumber is slumber.

Mmmm....lasagna...kathy and NL, now I want lasagna. For breakfast. And Garfield!!! So adorable.

(((QWP))) Gentle hugs. I'm so glad your sister was there and knew what needed to be done.

kathy a. said...

QWP, hope things are better today!

NL, that is the sweetest about Garfield!

Yay for sleep, Esperanza.

Lucky Mama: Junior cat slept above my pillow. Senior cat slept by my legs, and put her tiny shy little fuzzy chin on my calf. (Senior is the tres shy one.)

kathy a. said...

NL, good work on the lactose-free version! I've noticed a lot more lactose-free products lately (especially places like TJ, which is great about info on the shelf displays); good to know they are there.

kathy a. said...

It is a good thing tonight is leftover lasagna night. The surgical thing is hurting some again, and I've spent a good part of the day talking with friends about the friend with cancer. Netflix therapy, that's the ticket.

esperanza said...

sorry for the renewed ouch, kathy a. Taking it easy is probably the right prescription.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I hope you had a peaceful and restorative evening, Kathy. I'm so sorry about your friend.

AW: finally free of that migraine. It took me out for 26 hours. Thankfully, my mom came over for the day, and took care of E until Mr. Q came home.

kathy a. said...

QWP, so glad the migraine's gone! Also, yay, mom.

They have not yet figured out what kind of cancer is going on with my friend; will have to do another biopsy; think that is important to figuring out any treatment options. In addition to the obvious seriousness of her condition, it seems there are a bunch of family dynamics -- ugh. This is really a bad time for a power struggle, no?

So my PSA is: be sure you have powers of attorney and a health care directive all lined up. Do a new one if things change -- that's what I'm going to do today, update my health care directive.

Sue said...

Glad you're feeling better QWP - 26 hours is a long haul in migraine-ville. Ugh.

I'm so sorry about your friend, kathy. I hope you were able to rest up from the post-surgery pain. Family dynamics (unhealthy ones) have a way of bubbling to the surface at stressful times. YES - everyone should have a current health care directive!

Funeral went well this morning. There were more people there than they anticipated, which was lovely. The family did a great job with the eulogy, which they wrote together and one of the brothers delivered. Also, it was like a highschool reunion for many of us who hadn't seen each other in a long while.

W: My girls' night out had to be cancelled because one of my friends was exposed to scabies this week and she's not leaving her house until she knows she doesn't have it. Another in the group has a cold and was going to cancel as well, so we decided to reschedule.

AW: Netfl!x

kathy a. said...

Sue, so glad things went well for the family and friends of your friend. Wonderful about the joint eulogy!

Sorry girls' night was put off; but netflix for the win. ;)

Liz said...

(((QWP)))
Sue, sorry about the cancelled girls night out. Glad, however, that your friends decided not to be vectors.
Kathy, I'm so sorry about your friend. Mr. Spock and I updated our health care proxies/Advanced medical directives right before he went in for eye surgery.

W: Jim Webb
W: Bernie Sanders is going to participate in a Fox News town hall with Donald Trump. Apparently, it's easier reaching out to Fox News viewers than to POC in Southern states.
W: Violent rhetoric from a rabid anti-choicer (AW: he's got a radio show, and I've got twice the followers that he does. BWAHAHAHAHA)

AW: At the request of a friend, I took on her husband's real-life friend from grade school in an abortion debate, and I WON. He was all deadbabiesdeadbabiesdeadbabies and I derailed his train of thought with questions about where he stood on mandatory living blood and organ donation; how he votes on issues such as universal health care and child care and long-term paid parental leave; and countering his belief that women use abortion as birth control like "ladidah! I'd much rather pay $1000 and jump through hoops than take a little pill daily!". No.

He admitted I'd given him new things to think about and a new perspective. There may be hope for him yet.

Sue said...

Liz, that anti-choice radio dude is a total tool. I think the reason he's so rabid and drawing out the argument with him is that you made him think. Tools don't like thinking - they like spouting angry rhetoric about ideas they have set in stone. He's a jerk, and you handled him with class.

Yay about your friend's husband admitting to giving him some things to think about. You totally won that round. Keep up the good work!

kathy a. said...

Liz is a hero for engaging at ground level! I am hopeful that the supremes will come out against the utterly stupid regulations on clinics in TX; and that will be very good. It was a heck of an argument. Texas did not come out smelling very good.

AW: What started as kind of misty this morning has turned into a downpour! We really need the moisture to keep falling from the sky in my state -- and it's supposed to, off and on, for a few days.

esperanza said...

Good work, Liz.

AW: due to impending Big Move to the City, the Baboos (unwittingly) and I (with full knowledge) made their day off today the Most Country Day Ever. We went horseback riding. Then we visited the county livestock show (the reason for no school today) and saw the big kids showing their bunnies/cows/pigs/goats/sheep/chickens. Then lunch at Dairy Queen. I'm not sure it gets any more Small Town, Red State than this.

W: holy cow. I mean. Mr. E and I are beyond stressed out. We're meeting with the new church on Tuesday evening, but we need to find someone who can babysit. The church here is so on edge that whoever we ask to babysit will surely figure things out. Which is not such a big deal (to me; Mr. E doesn't agree), because he will be announcing his impending departure on Wednesday. So the babysitter might have advance knowledge for like 12 hours. We saw approximately a million of Mr. E's church people at the stock show, and had to pretend that nothing was out of the ordinary. This is wearing, and I"m glad the secret will be out soon.

Sue said...

Yay for country fun days!!! Sorry about the secret-keeping stress. :(

Liz said...

What Sue said.

Sue, the guy in question is my friend's husband's friend. Three levels of indirection.

He came back with some story about how his girlfriend long ago had an abortion and she was crying for hours. I countered with the fact that most women I know, including ME, just felt relief and gratitude. Not that sadness isn't allowed, but it's not reason enough to stop everyone else from having the care they need.

kathy a. said...

May the strength be with you, Esperanza! And a babysitter. Meanwhile, it sounds like a fab day with the Baboos.

Talked to my friend with the fireplacing cancer, and -- well, she gets it about how bad things are. Never saw it coming. Sent as much love as the telephone could convey; and the on-site friend is dispensing a bunch of long distance hugs. Fireplacity fireplace.

Liz, how pathetic. When and after I was pregnant, I cried at basically everything. I would have had an abortion if I had become pregnant at a time I couldn't manage a baby -- and I would have cried, and that wouldn't have meant it was a bad decision. Wish everybody could settle the heck down about other people's decisions about their bodies.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Esperanza, I hope the babysitter issue and the secrecy issue and the announcement go smoothly. And it was a good idea to spend time doing country activities with the baboos.

Liz = superhero (And well done debating. I am so apt to not engage and just assume that people don't change their minds.)

So many hugs for Kathy.

W: postdrome (migraine hangover) is a fireplacing fireplacer.

Anonymous said...

Liz, I know we discussed this some on your FB post, but I didn't want to hijack your post, and I was on my mobile, so it would be a pain in the rump to type up and then watch it disappear, so basically, here are my thoughts about abortion....

When I was young, and had no practical life experiences, I thought, "Why would anyone ever want to kill a baby?" Then, as I grew older, I realized that there were myriad reasons why a woman would elect not to continue a pregnancy -- fiscal reasons, health reasons, relationship reasons, etc -- and my worldview changed slightly. I still, personally, thought, "I would never kill MY baby!", but I was young, stupid, and like many other insulated, sheltered kids, thought I was bulletproof.

And then, God laughed at me, and thought -- you need a life lesson, honey. I'm gonna throw you a curve ball, and we'll see how you react then. And, I began a relationship with an older man, who for many, MANY reasons to numerous to mention, I should not have even looked twice at, much less agreed to date. While everything was going well, it seemed fine. I enjoyed the relationship, though he was more controlling than I was used to. I chalked that up to the fact that he was older, military, and had trust issues from previous relationships. I missed a BIG red flag there.

Long story short, I got in way over my head, and woke up one night tied to his bed, where he proceeded to rape me and keep me captive for hours. By this time, he had convinced me (and I had convinced myself) that I deserved it, and I did not end the relationship. I thought, "This is just my life now." When I discovered five weeks later that I was pregnant, I thought we'd become a family and things would get better. Yeah, that didn't happen. Things got worse from there. I won't bore you all with details, as I have written about it before, and it's long ago and far away.

The upshot of it is, yes, I had an abortion. I still feel tremendous guilt and regret. I have no problem with any reason why ANY woman would choose to have an abortion, but I never thought that that woman might one day be me. I know rationally that I would not be the person I am today if I'd gone through with the pregnancy, and I know I would not be where I am right now if I'd had that baby. My grasp on sanity was tenuous at that time, and I know, without question, that having that option was my salvation. That being said, I still feel, in my heart of hearts, that I am a killer. I killed my baby. I can rationalize, make excuses, and KNOW deep down that it was the *best possible outcome* for me, but some things are just too deep-seated to shake loose. I guess it's that old Bible Belt Morality upbringing, rearing its ugly head.

Late April and early June are always difficult for me because of this. It happened 25 years ago, but sometimes, it's very close to the surface. It's shaped my views, my political beliefs, and how I raised my daughter. It's not an experience I enjoyed, but it has definitely had a huge impact on who I am. I'm a better person now because of it, and I've tried to live my life in a way that expiates that guilt since then, so maybe after 25 years, I can stop torturing myself with it, and just resign it to the past.

Thanks for listening.

KLee

Liz Miller said...

((((KLee))))

I hope you can find peace and let go of the guilt. Your smart, beautiful daughter is a phoenix, glowing with life and love that you were able to give her partly because of the choice you made. I'm sorry you had no good choices at the time, I'm sorry you were in a situation where you had to make a choice at all. I am with you in love and solidarity

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Liz. Like I say, I am who I am today because of that formative experience, and like most people, I am my own worst critic. Things that I would never *in a million years* think about other people (baby killer, murderer, you deserved it!, etc) seem to be okay when torturing one's own self.

And, you're right -- I have been so fortunate to have such a great child who is who SHE is because her mother was allowed a choice. A HARD choice to be sure, and one that I would repeat in a nanosecond should I have to relive my life, but I would do it again. I worry for those who don't have that option. Part of the reason that I taught for so many years and became a volunteer with kids is so I could begin to erase that karmic debt that I owe the world for taking a person out of it. Like you said, it's not all about regret that I had the abortion, but the regret that I needed one. I regret that I had one, yes, but I regret the loss of my innocence, and the regret that I judged people in an awful quandary unfairly. I didn't fully understand the ramifications until I was in that situation myself, and it was a great big lesson in empathy. I'm glad that I made it out the other side, and that it changed my rigidity on that issue. not everyone is fortunate to have survived, and I'm grateful that I did.

I'm not sure that there will ever be peace, but I know who I am, and I am content with my life, so I consider it a lesson well learned, and chalk it up to "everybody has baggage." I feel like I'm constantly here to whine, whine, whine -- me, me, me; look how sad I am, I grew up fat, I made stupid mistakes, my mom died, wah, wah, wah. Sometimes I want to slap myself. But, then, I am totally grateful that we have a place where we can take all this toxic stuff that gums up our inner workings and just release it. It feels so catharic and freeing. Every time I whine, I lessen the weight on my shoulders, and I hope that everyone else gets that out of it. (I really would hate to think that there are people out there who are like, "Jumpin' Jehosophat, she's at it again!"

KLee

Anonymous said...

((((KLee))))) We love you. Period. All of you-- complete with all that made you you.
That's all.
--Neighbor Lady

Liz Miller said...

And look at the title of the blog, we are SUPPOSED to be whining here. This is where we come to offload the burdens on our shoulders and get support from others. Your life right now is particularly rocky, and I hope you know we all have your back

esperanza said...

Oh, KLee, thank you for trusting us with your story. And what everyone else said--that's why we're here--to be ourselves, our whole selves.

kathy a. said...

((( KLee )))

Sue said...

(((KLee))) We love you. So much.

Sue said...

Sorry about the postdrome QWP. You're right, it's a fireplacer.

kathy a. said...

KLee, I am so sorry for all that happened to you. It is an indelible piece of who you are -- but to tell the story is to relive it, to some extent. But knowing stories like yours is a gift that helps others, too. A world view that says, "I would never do that, therefore nobody should" is dangerously narrow, and unspeakably cruel to the actual humans surviving different situations. xoxox

Queen of West Procrastination said...

(((KLee))) We're here to listen and support you, and I'm so glad that you feel safe to share all of yourself with us. xoxo

kathy a. said...

Every woman I know who has had an abortion did so after concluding she was in no position at that time to provide what a healthy child needs. For reasons I can't get into, I've also met a number of women who did not have reproductive choices, and the outcomes were bad.

One woman -- pre-Roe -- tried to self-abort and nearly died; and it didn't work, either; and the father was gone, but if he'd stayed it still would have been bad since he was very abusive. One woman already had 6 kids, but when her husband found her diaphragm, he cut it up and raped her, then left the family; her kids were starving at times, her breasts bled from trying to nurse the unplanned child with little sustenance herself. One grandmother, a field worker, was pregnant 25 times -- 12 miscarriages, one child died in infancy, some very bad things happened with those who survived, and with their children.

I really, really believe that every child should be born loved, and at least have that and the basics during childhood. Apologies for TMI, but women themselves are in the best position to make their own reproductive decisions. xoxo

esperanza said...

Can. Not. Concentrate. Need to work. Cannot concentrate.

Mr. E and I have about decided that (gulp) buying a house is going to be the best way to go. So internet house shopping is way more interesting than the writing I need to do tonight.

kathy a. said...

Esperanza, I hope some inspiration came through. The online realty offerings will still be there tomorrow. xoxo

Anonymous said...


I'm glad I happened in here to be able to join in sending love to everyone. Especially KLee.

I have taken down access to my blog. There are unbloggably bad things happening in my life right now. The unbloggably bad things are not new, particularly, but my awareness, at least at the current level, is new. Things are currently precarious. I am afraid, but also hopeful. Sorry I can't give more detail than that now.

Purple_Kangaroo

esperanza said...

p_k, I'm glad to hear from you, but sorry the news is so dire. We're here for you, any time.

Anonymous said...

(((p_k))) I am so sorry to hear that things are bad for you right now.Glad you are here with us, so we can be with you as you work through it.
--Neighbor lady

kathy a. said...

((( PK ))) xoxo

Liz said...

(((PK))) Sending love to you and hoping this difficult period is both fixable and short. And if it's neither, we are here for you and have your back.

Sue said...

(((PK))) Sending hugs and love your way.