Monday, December 16, 2013

Mid-December, much to remember

Greetings, Pixies!

I'm doing a little happy dance because a dreadful piece of work albatross just got committed to paper (or bytes, whatever; I got up at 4 a.m. to finish this), and so now I get to do more satisfying albatross tasks!  And also get a payment!  But W:  several more manageable albatrossi need to get done this month.

And, I'm still really happy with how well the fundraising event thing went on Saturday.  Good turnout; everything was lovely; lots of money raised; new friends made; my friend S was surprised at the honors.  She says she's mortified, but she'll get over it. Meanwhile, passing the excess desserts and cheese platter items.

On the whine side, my MIL was doing poorly and did not get out of bed when my beloved and daughter went to visit her this weekend.  I hope they figure this out soon.  There was a test to see if maybe it is gallbladder instead of pancreas.  The situation is very up and down; she was feeling tons better a week ago, after a bad patch.

We do not yet have a tree.  It will happen sometime in the next week.  Decorations also.

I've declared this a year for small presents and stuffed stockings.  Basically everything is done on that front, except assembly and wrapping. My husband asked what I want, and I had a definitive answer:  slippers.  That's it.

AW:  daughter has a live interview tomorrow at a place she wants to work!

What's the scoop at your house?


Liz said...

No decor at our house yet either, and it will have to wait until after Muffin Man's room is painted and every thing put back into it.

Which means we've got to move on that little project.

W: Spent the weekend irritated with my family for futzing around NOT GETTING THE DAMNED ROOM PAINTED.

W: Also, in unrelated news, Aunt Flo came for a visit.

AW: The room's gonna look fantastic when it's done.

kathy a. said...

My oh my. Looks like the boys have got a project to finish.

Liz said...

Actually, I'm going to do most of the work, but I needed help with some aspects and it was wayyyyy past noon both days when my boys got off their duffs.

kathy a. said...

Santa Ralph's on it. Coal. Possibly also a scary bunny.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Bringing the bodily fluids early this week: either E ate too much of something at yesterday's church Christmas dinner, or she's coming down with a stomach bug. Three unusually explosive diapers this morning, including a doozy during/after naptime, that I didn't notice at first, but was all in the outside of her shirt and pants. (But none on her blankets: Christmas miracle?)

So, if you're looking for me, I'll be showering for the next decade.

AW: our dinner and program were lovely, and E survived it all well, and then had her best night in a while. And then Mr. Q and I went to bed at 8:30, because the weekend was that exhausting.

Liz said...

"(But none on her blankets: Christmas miracle?)" SNORT! Good thing I wasn't drinking coffee at that moment.

kathy a. said...

Poop-splosions are always winners. Glad the blankies were spared!

W: my beloved put a yellow plastic yard duck (from his sister's collection) by our front door. AW: I believe this duck needs to move around. Taunt him from other locations where normal people can't see it.

Liz said...

AW: Husband got a call this morning to do something pretty terrific and civic minded.

W: It takes place today, tomorrow, and Wednesday until 8:00 each day. Which means, of course, that he won't be home to paint.

AW: He actually got the supplies I needed to finish the job! YAY!

kathy a. said...

Go, Liz! It's good he has this opportunity, and also good he got the supplies.

Duck report: this thing is CERAMIC, with a crackle finish so it looks just like aged plastic. It has moved to sit with a potted tree just outside the glass door to the bedroom, where the cats were enjoying the sunbeam but are now pondering my sanity.

esperanza said...

Liz, nothing sucks the energy out of me faster than waiting on a certain someone to get off his duff and do something. Even if I'm not waiting on him to do anything in particular, it is highly irritating to be working my duff off while someone else sits on his.

I think the duck needs to perch on the back of the potty in the middle of the night. It's like Elf on the Shelf for (slightly insane) grownups. :)

kathy a. said...

Duff! In the running for word of the week. Many condolences to all suffering from that of which Liz and Esperanza complain.

The potty is a good suggestion, but I may go for the small shelf above, right at his eye level -- it was cleared of large non-essentials after a tragic accident involving a bunch of newly-purchased skin and beauty products falling INTO THE FREAKING TOILET, because my beloved needed to store GIANT bottles up there instead of under the sink, where a spare quart of listerine or hydogen peroxide or rubbing alcohol belongs.


esperanza said...

AW: it's only fair, since I whined vociferously about the "cold" (quotes for Canadian pixies), that I AW that the weather is quite lovely this week. Finally, the sun has reappeared and with it, warmer temps.

W: Christmas shopping is done (though creating gifts is not) except for Mr. E's gift. I have no idea what that gift should be. None.

Anonymous said...

so so tired --cannot keep my eyes open.
--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Oh, NL, just a few more days. You can do it!

W: someone gave the Baboos a gingerbread house kit. I thought they liked me. Apparently not.

Liz said...

Sounds like a good activity for mr. E to do with them, while you go shopping for his preside. By yourself. Alone

Liz said...

Present, not preside.

esperanza said...

True. But this is one of Mr E's two Big Seasons, yannow. We are not likely to see much of him before Christmas. Thus leaving plenty of time for gingerbread house cussing. I mean construction. I've never constructed one before. On purpose.

kathy a. said...

Go, NL! Hopefully you can catch up on the break. Unless someone sends you a gingerbread kit, too. ;)

Liz said...

Yeah, it's a Big Season, but there are several days between now and gift opening. Each day has 24 hours in it. Surely he can find 3 hours to give you, his wife, time to shop for his present while he constructs Christmas memories with his children.

Sue said...

Yay for the work albatross kathy and for getting paid! The duck sounds - um - delightful. :)

I agree - duff is the word of the week.

W: Duff-holes who know how they *should* drive in snow but prefer to show off how cool it is when the back of their truck swings around a corner. Grow up guys and put the snow machine in the back of the truck to weigh it down. Like everyone else does.

AW: I was off yesterday and decided early in the day to make it a snow day. I had a gazillion things to do but it was SO much better staying in with hubby and watching the (mountains of) snow fall.

AW: The wonderfulness of not having to shovel snow NEVER gets old. I still delight at it every time.

Liz and QWP - Sorry about Aunt Flo and the pook-fest, but thanks for bringing the body fluids.

NL - you can do it!

esperanza - way to go on the christmas gifts! You'll come up with something just right for Mr. E. You still have a few days. :)

Liz said...

Esperanza, I just re-read my response and realized that it really should be read with a full-on Yiddish accent. That there is some high-level Jewish guilt tripping I'm suggesting you do.

esperanza said...

Maybe it would be more successful with a Yiddish accent. Thanks to a wicked stepmother (I am not even kidding), he is pretty immune to guilt trips, no matter their religion.

Eh. We'll see how it goes.Maybe he will get a fabulous gingerbread house for Christmas!

And now "duff-holes" needs to be the word of the week.

kathy a. said...

Ooh, excellent driving whine, Sue. I can't even imagine dealing with all that snow...

Esperanza, best of luck stealing some time for ze gift. If all else fails, you might do something up on fancy paper, promising something or other. (The perfect "gift card" and completely customizable.)

AW: Houston, we have a tree and some decor. The cats are enchanted that we got them a forest, and it will get even better when we put the sparkly toys on it.

Sue said...

Yay for the enchanted cat forest!!

Speaking of cats - ours has a cough. Not a furball kind of cough, but a thicker sound. She's not short of breath and her eyes and nose are clear, but she is an elder cat (14) so I get a bit worried when she's not entirely well. Poor little girl...

esperanza said...

Shoot. I thought I was all set to give the girls' teachers a box of homemade goodies. Then I belatedly remember that Sweet's teacher has gestational diabetes. I guess that wouldn't be a very thoughtful gift. Spiced nuts? Any other ideas I can make without going to the store again?

Liz said...

If you've got large blank index cards, you can fold them in half to make note cards, then have the girls use ink stampers (if you've got those) to make hand-made note cards.

Spiced nuts sounds good.

kathy a. said...

Nuts are a good idea. Or heck, anything edible that isn't sugary.

Sue, hope your cat is better. Think I need to take my old lady in -- one side of her face looks swollen. She's not acting differently, but cats are notoriously bad at reporting symptoms.

kathy a. said...

W of fury: a sister who is not speaking to me just sent a holiday card, addressed to Kathy and Beloved Husband'sLastName. His sister is a Kathy who uses Husband'sLastName. I have *never* used that last name, as she well knows.

Liz said...

Kathy, I'm saddling up.

kathy a. said...

I forgive lapses in older and less close relatives, but this am sure was intentional. To what end, not sure.

Anonymous said...

esperanza, how about a gingerbread house??
It's not like people really eat those anyway, do they?
--Neighbor Lady

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Kathy a, that sounds like a job for Ralph and the posse.

I'm hooting here over "duff- hole."

Esperanza, nuts are such a good idea for a diabetic treat.

Sue, hugs about the kitty, and SO MUCH SYMPATHY about the bad winter drivers being foolish in trucks. I'm dealing with my share of truck-driving duff holes here, too, and an impressive pile of snow.

AW: pook fest is now over! I suspect her little tummy rejected the masses of sweet potato casserole (with double the butter, by accident), which she ate for two meals on the previous day.

W: but she woke up this morning at 4:40am, for no good reason, and wouldn't sleep until I nursed her, and then I had the worst time falling back to sleep. Not used to that anymore.

AW: I just got a shipment of tea from my favourite Canadian store! They accidentally made a mistake with one of the tea (sent Earl Grey instead of Earl Grey Cream), but they responded to my email within an hour, and have shipped me the correct tea at no cost, with the instructions that I keep the tea they sent by mistake! Huzzah!

So, now I'm smiling about God customer service.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Ha! Good, not God. My autocorrect presumes the store is divine.

esperanza said...

NL, Ha! But that house is not getting constructed till they are out of school and we are desperate for some entertainment (hence, after the teacher gift needs to be given).

I could use some divine tea. Does it have more caffeine than the secular version?

kathy a. said...

Esperanza -- fruit basket?

NL -- not long now!

QWP -- yay for divine tea!

esperanza said...

Found a recipe with a Mexican flair: nuts, butter, lime zest, chili powder, cumin, salt, cayenne. Sounds good to me. Even better: all ingredients are in the house already.

kathy a. said...


Anonymous said...


Queen of West Procrastination said...

Toddlers who wake up for good before 6am, for multiple days in a row, regardless of bedtime, might need a gentle conversation with Ralph.

Liz said...

Problem is, 1 is too young for cluesticking to work.

kathy a. said...

Send E on over; I seem to be having the same early rising problem lately.

Many thanks to members of the Posse who talked me down yesterday.

kathy a. said...

I sent my sister a note thanking her for the kindness of sending my SIL such a lovely card, and assuring her my husband would take it up when he visits this weekend.

Sue said...

kathy a - you are a ROCK STAR! Seriously.

esperanza - the fancy nuts with the lime and chili sound awesome!

NL - hold on, just a few more days.

QWP - sorry about the early morning, but hooray for the divine tea!

AW: Best part of Christmas - surprising people with small gestures. Yesterday I dropped off pretty gift bags to our mechanic, the woman who sold me my car, and the staff at the pharmacy we use. Each bag contained a $5 box of chocolates and the gift bags came from the dollar store. Small investment for the happy look on their faces. :)

kathy a. said...

Very sweet gift bags, Sue!

I keep forgetting that Christmas is in ONE WEEK! No ornaments have made it to the tree. No food planning whatsoever. Not sure if the cousins are coming. No presents wrapped. One present left to mail, which is cutting it close. Some cleaning needed. I'm sure it will all turn out ok, but maybe it's time for a list....

Queen of West Procrastination said...

You guys, how is Christmas only a week away? I'm going to have to go shopping, and it's going to have to happen during busy times (unless I go while I'm supposed to be dissertation-writing tomorrow).

Sue: those gift bags are such a sweet idea!

Esperanza: please share that recipe. I would like to make some of those.

Okay. So, Ralph doesn't speak Baby. Perhaps the pixies could sing lullabies at 5:30am?

W: the kid collapsed from exhaustion at 8:30am, and then woke up after an hour, because she pooked. It's all about the inconvenient pook this week.

AW: my mother took her away for the next few hours! There are no more popular words in this house than "Grandma's coming to take you to her house." E pretty much rushed to the door.

So: last-minute present ideas. What do you buy your brother's girlfriend, when suddenly they're serious and she's part of the family, but you've only met her a handful of times, and you don't know her last name? Scarves?

kathy a. said...

Scarf. Little purse? Something involving candles. Arty something? Gourmet basket? Pretty stationary. Necklace, maybe.

Gift card is too impersonal. Clothing is too personal. Don't know enough for books, probably. Try to get hints about interests and favorite colors.

esperanza said...

ummm, QWP, I'll try to keep track of it as I make it. I'm combining a couple of recipes. Story of my life.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Don't accidentally double the butter, like I did! (And I understand. Oh goodness, do I ever have trouble sharing recipes, because it's usually like "sprinkle some cumin until it smells right.)

Liz said...

Present ideas, courtesy of Swistle:

kathy a. said...

Took senior cat [almost 18] to the vet; one side of her face is swollen, and she has an abscessed tooth that has to come out. Knew she had lost weight, but she's down to just over 4.5 lbs. -- she's a small cat so it isn't as terrible as it sounds, but the vet thinks a thyroid problem. Poor girl...

Definitely decorating the cat forest tonight. Wet food for everyone!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh, poor senior cat!

Thanks for the present ideas, Liz and kathy a. I'm going to go to the big bookstore nearby (which has gotten into lifestyle items and all that), and look at the cool scarves that are on sale right now. Scarves are definitely something that she wears pretty often, and so I think they're a safe bet.

W: I just made a list of all the Christmas shopping that's left to do. I'm so far behind!

Liz said...

Or what about these?

kathy a. said...

My poor poor kitteh. She's looking pretty darned alert, considering -- meaning she has noted that not only did she have to go in the CAR to the VET and be POKED and lose teeth, but there is NO food or water to be found while the anesthesia wears off. The indignity!

We have made end of life decisions for beloved pets before, and today was the beginning of another. The vet thinks some of the tissue may be cancerous. There is no way I'm putting an elderly cat through chemo or major surgery or whatever, so I said I did not see the point in having the tissue tested. We'll just see how it goes, keep her comfortable.

kathy a. said...

For now, she is totally starting to feel better. On my desk; I walked out for 2 minutes, and she took Her Place on the keyboard. That's my girl!

Sue said...

So sorry about Senior Kitty kathy. Tough day for all of you but she seems like a strong girl taking Her Place so soon after the vet visit.

Sorry also pixies about the too-soon arrival of next week's Big Day. I put a few ornaments on the tree on Monday after it had been sitting bare for two weeks. This year will be different for us because hubby is still recovering from his surgery and hospital stay. He's doing well and that's gift enough for me.

W: I made a few visits this week and it was lovely but I'm exhausted. I find the whole visiting thing more draining than ever. Xmas is a week away and I've already reached Maximum Holiday Saturation. Gah.

esperanza said...

I was just wondering how your hubby was, Sue. Glad to hear he's doing well. And I'm not surprised that visiting is more draining than usual, given the extra stress and caring energy you're giving to hubby (rightly so).

Sorry about the kitty, kathy a.

QWP, here's an approximation of a recipe. I just pulled them out of the oven and they are yummy. A bit spicy, but not burn-your-mouth. So if you like it extra spicy, add more cayenne, I guess.
4 cups of raw nuts (I used 2 c pecans, 1 c almonds, 1 c peanuts)
1/4 cup melted butter
zest and juice from 3 limes. Well, except I just juiced 2. And that may have been too much
1 Tablespoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne (but I'm pretty sure my cayenne is "vintage," so if yours is new, it will likely have more kick. I would tread lightly)
1 teaspoon cumin
1 Tablespoon sea salt (the chunky kind)
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder

Mix everything together but the nuts. Then toss the nuts in. Put in one layer on cookie sheet w/parchment. Cook at 250 for...about an hour and a half. I just judged by when the peanuts started to turn golden.

kathy a. said...

Yay, Sue's beloved!

The social stuff can be a bit much, no? Especially if other stuff is going on.

Esperanza, those nuts sound delish!

esperanza said...

On further...yum...testing, I might reduce the salt a bit. But I'm not a salt fan.

esperanza said...

kathy a, how did daughter's interview go? Did I miss it?

W: my goodness, the allergies. I am not exaggerating when I say I have probably sneezed 75 times today. That's WITH drugs. We have now reached the watering eyes part of the program. Ben@dryl tonight, which I detest, but it works. I hope.

kathy a. said...

Interview went OK. We'll see.

Temporary cat forest embellishment in progress.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

E slept until 6:30! Angel choirs singing.

W: the only times she's slept past 6am have been nights when we put her to bed by 7pm. That means supper as soon as Mr. Q is home from work. And we really need to go to bed earlier, because 6:30. Is the latest we'll get. In other words: E is sleep training us.

Esperanza: thank you for the recipe! I'm trying that over the holidays. Mr. Q and his dad are going to go crazy for it. (This is especially nice, because Grandpa Q is diabetic. I think he's going to find some in his stocking.)

kathy a. said...

Esperanza, hope the allergies are better!

Yay, Lil E!

Kitteh slept soundly last night, is back on the desk.

Sue said...

I was wondering about your daughter's interview kathy - glad it went well.

Yay Lil E - Yay Sleep!!!

Boo on the allergies.
The recipe looks delish!

W: The box of chocolates downstairs in the office is calling my name. Why do they torment me so???

AW: Yum.

kathy a. said...

Elderly Diva Cat ate an entire small can of cat food at breakfast, then bit me on 2 fingers and otherwise put up a respectable fight while being dosed with antibiotics this morning. Lookin' good!

Mmm. Chocolate.

One last run to the post office today -- before it gets really crazy.

Liz said...

I woke up with a headache this morning (not a Sue headache, to be clear). Took pills, took a shower, took more pills.

Headache still there (again, not Sue level). Do I take more pills, or do I wait?

kathy a. said...

What kinda pills? What kinda headache?

Fortunately I do not get bad headaches very often, but for me, advil is the only thing that helps -- tylenol is worthless. And also for me, it seems to rise up from my neck and shoulders; so those things you can heat in the microwave help.

If you have Rx pills, see if you can alternate them with an OTC safely. Hope you feel better soon! xoxo

Sue said...

What kathy said. All headaches are bad headaches - bleh! My only caution is to watch tylenol doses and never go above the daily max. Otherwise, go with what works.

kathy a. said...

What Sue said about tylenol! It's toxic to the liver if you take over the recommended dose. More than the recommended dose of advil is essentially a prescription dose -- docs have told us to just take more for bad pain from flu or oral surgery or a strain.

You can take tylenol and advil together, since they work in different ways.

esperanza said...

Allergies are better. We have a strong wind from the south, which is nice because my allergies come from the north. For real. W: south wind in the winter smells like chicken sh!t. Also for real. Chicken farms to the south.

Liz said...

Full dose of OTC Advil, followed by a half dose of OTC Advil and a full dose of OTC Tylenol.

Having another full dose of Advil now.

kathy a. said...

Glad the allergies are better! Although the solution seems a mixed victory, all things considered. Bok bok bok.

Liz, hoping this does the trick, and sending head healing vibes your direction. Ouch.

Hit the USPS at a good time. Also the supermarket. Everybody was cheerful! Didn't use a single bad word about drivers, either. It's a holiday miracle!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Ouch, Liz. I hope the headache clears up soon.

Esperanza: that mixed blessing is award-worthy for sure.

AW: E had an afternoon with her Grandpa Q, just the two of them for the first time (he has a ton of holidays through Christmas, because his work told him he had to actually take his time off). They had a blast, and she was so good for her grandpa! He's planning on doing this more often (he earns days off pretty quickly, and has banked way too many), and so it's nice to know that there's someone else to take her sometimes. I have to write a chapter a month until May!

W: a chapter a month. I've been averaging a chapter a year.

purple_kangaroo said...

Baby N is 10 days old today. She's amazing. The birth went just about as perfectly as could be. I, however, haven't yet been able to get out of bed and walk around without triggering frighteningly copious postpartum bleeding. And I'm pretty much sleeping all the time when she doesn't need me. My DH and older kids are taking fabulous care of me and the baby, though.

kathy a. said...

Congratulations on the sweet baby, PK! And that everybody is taking care of you both. xoxo

I am so sorry about the bleeding; hope things are under control soon.

Sue said...

PK, congratulations on the birth of baby N! I'm sorry to hear about the bleeding - hope it's cleared up soon.

esperanza said...

Welcome, Baby N! Rest well.

AW: Though I whine about him (mostly in my head), Mr E is a pretty good guy. Tonight I got several compliments on my cooking. What fine masterpiece did I make, you ask? Nachos. Aka use up some leftovers and make a quick supper. Nachos. He's pretty easy to please in the supper department.

esperanza said...

Oh, and today is the 6th anniversary of bringing home wee Sweet and her mighty oxygen tank from the NICU, after Teh Worst Night Ever at the hospital.

esperanza said...

Oh, and another thing (scattered much?). Sweet's teacher that has gestational diabetes (and hence the gift of spiced nuts) likely has an inflamed gallbladder. Baby isn't due till mid February, and they can't do anything for the gallbladder till then except a very restricted diet. Excluding, I'm almost certain, spicy nuts. Poor thing.

purple_kangaroo said...

Birth announcement and baby photo is up over at my place now, for those who want a peek. And thanks for letting folks know last week, Liz. I meant to come over and make the announcement, but was busy feeding, changing and sleeping. :)

kathy a. said...

Go, Sweet! And yay for your husband, who I guess now gets extra nuts.

How hard on Sweet's teacher. Maybe a little something from a list of foods good for gallbladders? It's funny, but one list I saw has avocado, lemon juice, fresh tomato -- the basics of guacamole.

Miranda said...

Congrats P_K!!!! I am so glad to hear everyone is taking care of you.

This has been a super long week.

- Family Member with Legal Troubles appeared before the magistrate to sort out the bench warrant. I drove.

- I broke things off with Hopeful Boyfriend today. I wasn't into him that way.

- All kinds of rides to/from the airport dramas.

- Tween Son has been refusing to do work. We met with a few key teachers today. AW: he has a plan that he came up with himself. Hooray!

- Two days on the work mothership of constant socializing, networking, training, coaching, presenting and talking.

- A friend of mine called to say that she needs more out of me in order for us to be friends. I think she clearly does need more than I can give and I think this means my choices are to just end the friendship or keep making her unhappy. I don't have it in me to be emotionally close and this friend isn't tied to any of my other circles or activities. It's 15 years of friendship though. I have to call her tomorrow and let her know what I decided. I really wish she didn't spring this Sophie's choice on me.

- I have almost nothing done for Christmas next week. I don't even know what I want to get people.

The week hasn't been wholly terrible.

- The dinner party went very well despite the snow.

- The charm offensive works very well on people.

- Family Member with Legal Troubles gets to spend Christmas with the family.

- I have several dates lined up

- I am re-reading Agnes and the Hitman which always makes me feel better.

- I am off for most of next two plus weeks. When I work, I can work from home. Those are only three days.

- I am also working on some crochet projects, which despite the fact I crochet poorly on my best days, is relaxing.

kathy a. said...

Wow, Miranda! xoxo Glad there is some time off. Guess that friend who is demanding more is kinda pissing Ralph off -- exactly how much does she think you have to go around? Exactly why does she think she comes before the line winding out of your door? On the other hand, long friendship. Gah. The holidays can really ramp up people's feelings, I guess.

In other news, it is a good thing I love this cat, because she just killed my laptop. That cute sit on the keyboard thing somehow made the letter P keep typing to infinity. And so I have set up my desktop again, the one I didn't want to see again after the Great Computer Crash some months ago.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

So many hugs, Miranda. So, are you getting anything positive out of this friendship, or is she draining you while expecting more? Five years ago, I had to make a hard call with a similar friend while I was going through a hard time in my own family. I know it's hard.

Kathy a: oh no! Can your keyboard keys be pried off? I wonder if something off the cat has been wedged in there.

esperanza said...

Good gravy, Miranda. I've got someone here who really wants to be a friend. Maybe we can hook them up. You've got way enough on your plate. Glad you're going to get a break.

purple_kangaroo said...

How can I mind being wide awake at 2am with that little face smiling up at me and wanting to play? I'm pretty sure I've never seen a newborn smile as much as she does. Oh well, if I'm missing sleep at least I got some good photos out of it. :)

purple_kangaroo said...

Sounds like the key is stuck. . . Try prying it up, or hitting it a few times.

purple_kangaroo said...

Miranda, how frustrating about the "friend". I once had someone cut off a relationship with me when I was going through a tough time because they said talking to me was a downer.

purple_kangaroo said...

I had gallstones during one of my pregnancies. I mostly had to avoid fatty foods. . . It was baby back ribs that set off the flare up. Apparently fatty foods contribute to clogging the ducts or something, making the gallstone pain worse?

Queen of West Procrastination said...

PK, congratulations on the birth of Baby N! (Were a high percentage of pixie's children born at the same time? E's birthday is the same week as N's.) So much sympathy about the excessive bleeding. I went through it too (c- section?).

In "I don't know if this is a W or AW" news: I've been doing everything this week to get E to sleep past 6am. This morning she woke up at 5:59. The first words I thought this morning were, "I know she's too young to mess with me, or know what time it is, but this is ridiculous."

kathy a. said...

PK, sorry about the lack of sleep!

QWP, you get to remember this when E is 16 and refusing to rise before noon on weekends.

Going to the computer genius, because with my luck and talent, I'd break the thing trying to fix it.

esperanza said...

Sweet's due date was Dec 13, so she almost qualifies!

Mine have done that 5:59 thing before, QWP. They know, I'm sure of it.

kathy a. said...

Miranda, I keep thinking about the friend who demands more, demands a choice. Whatever has driven her to that -- selfishness? jealousy of your other obligations? neediness, loneliness, depression? -- it puts you in an impossible position. And friendship is supposed to be, ya know, friendly, mutually satisfying, something with give and take.

Is it possible to reframe this gracefully, and put it back in her court? You don't want to end the friendship, which you value; there just is so much going on that you do not have more to give right now.

kathy a. said...

Awards later; and the award ceremony will invite any inter-session whines -- since this is a season traditionally featuring lotsa drama.

Miranda said...

Kathy, I just came on here to figure this out. She feels rejected because sometimes I am "on" and other times I withdraw. She finds it confusing and hurtful. I still like her and I will still see her because of community connections but we have very different lives. She feels left out of the stuff I do but I honestly don't think she would like my other friends or what we do. I have tried to invite her before but it doesn't usually work out. She is very busy in her own right. She resents that she asks me about stuff and I usually have to cancel or simply say no. She and I have had this discussion before but while I don't want to "defriend" her, I can't keep feeling like I am failing her somehow. I can't have a friendship fueled with guilt and resentment... on either side. I'd rather give it up than deal with it.

Complicating this is the fact that my offspring have been having some terrible years while hers are .. not. I don't want to share what is going on because I honestly don't think she gets it. She gets it on the level where she works as a clinician but not on a day-in, day-out level.

I texted her and asked if we could hang out while our offspring who are friends do something tomorrow. I will see what happens.

I'm a private person. When the going gets tough, I get quiet. With all the heartbreak I have experienced the last six years, I tend to stick to the happy things. Often, this means the shallow things publicly. At my TGIFD (thank goodness I'm finally divorced) party, I opened up a little about what I had been going through and everyone was so shocked. They had no idea. That is often the way I prefer it because I am tired of being a downer. :(

Let me just say I am thankful for the Pixies who provide safe spaces to share our joys and sorrows. As you can see, I use it as a lifeline.

Liz said...

Miranda, it goes both ways. If she doesn't want to come to things you invite her to - then that's on her. If she feels like you flake out of commitments to her, that's something you can work on. But maybe you can say, "I'm sorry that my life is complicated at the moment, I do value you and our friendship. This is as much as I can give you. If you need more, I understand, but I don't have it to give."

kathy a. said...

Lifelines R Us! ;)

I really hear you about the awkwardness when your kids are struggling and somebody else's kids are [publicly, anyway] racking up the accolades.

There is nothing wrong with talking to the people you feel are safe and non-judgmental about the tough stuff, and being more circumspect with others. xoxo

Sue said...

PK - what a cutie pie Baby N is!!! Great photos.

QWP - babies and cats - they read clocks. I'm sure of it.

Miranda - wow. You have a lot going on. I'm with Liz re: your "friend." Relationships work two ways. If she is unable to respect your need for privacy when times are tough, then it's her loss. It's not appropriate for her to try and change your very nature. And yes, perhaps she should meet esperanza's "friend." :)

Miranda said...

I'm lol'ing at the thought of esperanza's "friend" and my "friend" meeting up.

One of her Issues was that I post all these fun things on FB that I don't include her on. What she fails to realize is that I didn't plan any of it and that I very heavily curate my FB status updates.

In other news, apparently one cannot continue WWF games with those of whom one has dumped a few days before Christmas. It gives the appearance of being cold and uncaring. Whoopsie. My bad. o_O

I feel like that kitten hanging to the wall by it's poor, tiny claws from those posters that were so popular a few (several?) years back.

Kathy, don't worry! I will get the new thread up almost as soon as I see awards are in. We can support each other to the end. :)

kathy a. said...

Oh, the book of faces. I do not speak of anything highly personal or professional on that place. But I am in trouble with judgmental siblings because I "spend too much time" there and they disapprove. Whatevs. If I'm hip-deep in the crap they don't want to hear about and divert to the water cooler more than they like, tough noogies.

Sue said...

Precisely kathy a! Tough noogies indeed.


W: Gas shortage in Middle Earth Canada at the moment. Something to do with a train derailment and re-directing tankers.

AW: I filled up my little car on...TUESDAY!! *sound of crowd cheering* Ha!

Miranda said...

She conditionally accepted my invitation tomorrow. Nerves fried.

W: Probable ice storm means I will not get to the art museum tonight to fill my cup. Or bucket. Or lake.

kathy a. said...

Conditionally accepted? Would you like to borrow a malady -- we have a few on special this week! ;) In any event, the posse will be visiting Ms. CrankyPants.

Miranda said...

She has the malady covered. Her daughter may/may not be coming down with something and has to be at another function at 4:30 and was at home today.

I have a few gifts purchased today. Hooray!

Liz said...

Here is a video that includes a silly goose.

You're welcome.

Miranda said...

Dangit. My friends' parent has dementia and the siblings can't agree on a level of care for the parent. My one friend is shouldering a huge chunk of the caretaking burden and will only accept support from the other siblings. Being friends with three of the four affected is kind of hard since two of those are fighting over the care the most.

Trying to convince my friend to come over and let me take care of her tonight.

kathy a. said...

Oh, Miranda. Really, that is so hard, arguing about care for a parent. Hope your friend will come over; it'll be good to just be out of it for a while. Dementia is a long-haul kind of problem, unfortunately, and it drains everyone. xoxoxo

Awards may be tomorrow. Passing some fudge that daughter brought home from her volunteer job.

kathy a. said...

Liz, thanks!