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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Statue of Whining: Bring us your boobs! I mean, your whines about boobs. Or your whines. Or something.

This seems to be a boobalicious week for the pixies, with kathy a. getting an additional boobal squashing, liz getting good mammo results, and this classic poem taking The Style Award:

I'm dreaming of a non-beige bra
That costs less than a new Ford
One that has a front clasp
And won't collapse
From the effort of keeping the girls on board.

I'm dreaming of a non-beige bra
Maybe even one with no underwires
One that's not going to hector
The metal detector
At the airport in front of all the other flyers.

My days would be merry and bright
If my bras weren't only beige and white.

Hostess Win: I got to eat lunch with liz, I <3>Whine of Substance goes to margalit for her “totally unexpected heart surgery” - those are words which should never go together – and the fall out in kid behavior and recovery time.

The competition this week is FIERCE, not to mention varied, in the Bodily Fluids category!
amy took an early lead with “my daughter barfed tonight. and i caught it. in my hands.” Which she thoughtfully broke into Whines / Anti-whines for us:
She barfed. Whine.
I caught most of it. Whine. (I hate vomit.)
More than half still hit the carpet. Whine.
She trusted me enough to stand there, not panic, and barf where I was telling her to barf. Big Anti-Whine.
Once she was done barfing, that was it - no more overnight or yesterday. Big Anti-Whine.
My husband volunteered to clean up the carpet. BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG Anti-Whine.

Later contenders for Bodily Fluids include Klee with the Creeping Crud, Madeline’s sick partner, and Sue’s Feline Fluids extravagana.

Sarah sweeps Old Skool hating the smell of ketchup. “Especially ketchup left on the plate after chicken nuggets. I don't mind eating ketchup, but if the smell persists as an issue, I may have to give it up. If only I could make my son give it up.”

Uccellina is Not a Worse Person for whining about things which do truly suck. And we hope she gets her internet back soon – work without it is hard to bear.

Genevieve and her Monkey Mind need an award of their own. Between the insomnia / the sleep-deprived hallucinations, and the incoming deadlines, that is a lot to deal with! I have my own monkey mind, and all its fall out. Genevieve, if you figure out a good way to meditate around it, please do let us know!

We are jealous of Madeleine’s attendance at “a rock-star event, of nerdy inclination.” However, we will generously let her keep the piles of laundry, with no coveting.

And, finally, in a new category I am calling Teachers are Human Too, it is *not* evil for KLee to “wish that Margalit's problem of exploding buildings to relocate to HumidityLikeABrickWall for my school tomorrow?”

Thanks for being here, Pixies, and sharing your lives. kathy a. will be our gracious hostess next week.

8 comments:

Madeleine said...

Woohoo! And the Oscar for Whining Hostess goes to Redzils. Lovely ceremony, Dr. R.

Liz Miller said...

Beautiful ceremony, Dr. Redzils!!!

And SQUEEE! Thank you so much for my award!!! I'd like to thank Irving Berlin and Bing Crosby for inspiring me, and my lovely Nurse Practitioner for making it all possible.

kathy a. said...

fabulous ceremony!

esperanza said...

Lovely awards, Dr. R.

And thanks to the pixies for the milk/formula/oh just feed her Kool Aid advice!

Miranda said...

Great awards, Dr. R!!

kathy a. said...

esperanza just made me spit!! LOL

those little noodles don't come with owner's manuals. we all end up choosing what works for us and makes sense at a given time.

Sue said...

Great awards Doc!!

Oh yes, if only there were an owner's manual. *le sigh*

Anonymous said...

Marvelous ceremony, Dr. Redzils!