Winning by whining

Hugs and chocolate to all the whiners with Whines of Substance! It's been a rough week for several people, I can see.

Style Award for bringing grace and poetry to the Whiner's Ball:

• Yankee T for:
  Won't you come on, my A/C?
  Won't you come on?
  I sweat the whole night lo-ong.
  I've done the cooking honey,
  It's hot as hell,
  Can't find my old saro-ong.
  You remember that one cool evening,
  I turned you off
  While heading upstairs to the john?
  I know I'm to blame,
  Now ain't it a shame?
  My A/C won't you please come on...

• Purple Kangaroo for a long poem that includes the following verses:

The verdict was in.
We canceled the sitter
Dinner got burned;
The steak tough and bitter.


• But the kids all slept
  Early and well
  Leaving us with
  Some time to kill.
  
  So what did we do
  To celebrate
  Our great and marvelous
  Year number eight?
  
  We cleaned the house.
  Oh, yes, we did.
  We talked and scrubbed
  When the sun hid.

The Old School Award for those really pathetic little whines, the ones that we all have, except they usually just irritate us, only in this case they are awfully amusing

• Margalit for the impending loss of the Weekly World News.
• Phantom for leaky pull-ups.

"Elevated Risk of Mullet" Award for funniest use of language:

• Klee for "the reason that I'm on a diet is that I have sucked small children and a couple of satellites into my gravitational orbit."

Debangel was on a roll in giving out awards, and gets credit for handing out the "Elevated Risk of MALLET" award to the fireplacing idjit who gave Scrivener the wrong information, and the "Life's an Itch and Then You Die" award to Robin Andrea.

And I'd like to offer a special aint it the truth award for Margalit for "Mental illness SUCKS, I tell you!"