My part of the world was unexpectedly blanketed in a thick layer of snow, this past week, and while I'm used to flurries in November (we've even had snow in August once, more than twenty years ago), I was surprised to find that the snow has no plans of going away. Thankfully, Mr. Q finally dug out and harvested our carrots, because the temperature dipped below -20C last night (the windchill was almost -30C). I've cancelled the next few days' activities, since I refuse to take my feverish preschooler out into that nonsense (unless it's a trip to the doctor). We're going to hibernate: TV, hot tea, fuzzy blankets, and thankful that the extreme cold means that it's sunny outside.
But, as I stare out at the snow and northern climate, my heart is far south of here, with esperanza and all the dear ones who live near yesterday's awful events. I can't imagine the hard job of pastoring in the wake of a nearby church shooting, and supporting those whose loved ones were hurt. And I rage at those who refuse to act to change the situation. Enough. Well past too much.
How are you all?
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Thank you for hosting, QWP! I'm sorry about the snow moving in for the duration, and hope the small fevered one rebounds quickly. Sounds like hunkering down is a great plan for today.
I am almost beyond words at the latest shooting. And our only prez says it is not a gun problem, it is a crazy person problem -- and he's partly right, because a crazy person previously convicted of domestic violence (one year in prison, and a dishonorable discharge from the military) was fireplacingly allowed to buy a military grade weapon. Allowed to buy it, have it, use it as the mood struck. This is insane.
Most of the "make this place presentable" tasks are done ahead of my friend's arrival tonight, but alas, the abundant things on shelves are not going to get gentrified right now. Just a few small things that I do plan to do, still. Having a lot of back and everything pain today, so I'll try to do it quickly, and return to being a slug.
Well done getting most of the tasks done, Kathy! Now, speaking as someone who has ended up with injuries because I thought I'd just push through back pain quickly and then rest, take care of yourself, please.
AW: we booked a museum birthday party for E's fifth birthday! I was planning on having the party at home, but we started worrying that the basement wouldn't be ready in time, and since we are members of the Friends of the Museum Society, we get birthday party discounts. So, I'll spend a bit this year, and have a home party next year.
W: the only spots they had available were either Saturday morning or immediately after church, so we're doing Saturday morning. E won't be as difficult about getting out the door on time when we're heading to her own birthday party, right?
Yay for museum parties! We did a couple / few of those, at a science museum and a tech museum. All grand, especially if outdoor weather is unreliable.
The back thing is pretty chronic; it just gets aggravated. And, I'm not doing anything terribly overboard. I have 4 tasks left, including such tiny things as taking out the trash, and putting a new tablecloth on the table. So, all is well!
It is...not snowy here. 88 was the high today, I think.
I successfully navigated a bus ride to a meeting, which amazed my colleagues. I am relieved that the Baboos were not with me this time, as the man across the aisle, mid-phone conversation, said "Fireplace You!" (except the other F word) approximately 15 times in a row, interspersed with other profanities. We could all hear him. He wasn't joking, either.
Regarding the nearby horror: I've mostly had to turn off coverage today. It's too close, too easy to imagine my own church and my own people and my own children.
I'm also noodling about something. I know of the strong correlation between domestic violence and mass shootings. I'm also thinking that there is a (granted, weaker) correlation between military service and mass shootings. I know the person who shot the police in Dallas had been a sniper, and I'm fairly certain there are more; I just haven't stopped (or been emotionally ready) to research it out. We train these men to shoot people on our behalf, and then at some point they leave the military. They still have that training and those instincts and skills. What are we doing to help them transition back to civilian life? For some, it's clearly not enough. I've talked with several, self-aware veterans, who said that transition is the hardest thing they've ever had to do, and it's never really over. It's a constant process, with steps backward and forward. I think it's another piece of the puzzle, certainly not standing alone without some fireplacing gun control measures.
Okay, that's good that it's small tasks! I'm notorious for pushing through and doing large, heavy tasks when my back is already acting up. You're so close to being finished, Kathy! Well done!
We must have posted at the same time, esperanza. I agree very strongly. (I've seen some, in people I know, of the correlation between military service and DV, linked with undiagnosed PTSD.) The whole thing is so broken.
On the same page, too, Esperanza, about military service and difficulty transitioning back -- especially with combat vets. Been there and seen that in some of my cases. Don't know if this person had combat service; but something did not go right, and he was clearly dangerous (having threatened with weapons before, leading to his court martial, jail time, and dishonorable discharge).
At some point, we also have to talk about not only entering such data into the background check database; not only making the use of the database universal; but also, not letting these military grade weapons be sold at all. Nobody needs them for hunting or self-defense. Nobody. IMO.
Everything is off my list, except changing the tablecloth (there is still a tiny bit of sunlight, and cats like basking), and doing a little dinner prep. Nothing fancy: start the rice cooker, bake a little chicken, do some veg. My friend won't arrive for at least a couple hours.
Thinking of all of you South of here. I have no tolerance left for this nonsense, and the lack of action. It occurs to me that if the school shooting didn't "start the conversation" then what will? Lather, rinse, repeat until something changes drastically, and it's just fireplacing tragic.
I'm home from travel adventure #2 and happy to unpack my suitcase and be home for awhile.
AW: My son and his partner have asked me to conduct their wedding in the spring of 2019. I could not be more delighted! So exciting!
Yay, a wedding! Yay, being home -- and I hope the second trip has brought relief, Sue.
I'm just beyond beyond about the guns. Not only a domestic abuser; not only did he break his infant step-son's skull; not only did he threaten his then-wife twice with loaded guns, and twice with unloaded. Not only did the military fail to report that -- they apparently also failed to report his escape from a mental hospital, his effort to smuggle guns onto a military base; his threats of harm against military superiors. How fireplacing much does it take to conclude that he should never in a gazillion years have been allowed to buy any gun, nevermind a military grade weapon?
My friend got here last night, and it is fun seeing her! Our lovely dog, who is always nice to everybody and even cats, is apparently full of himself, because he *growled* at my friend! She is a dog person, and didn't take it personally... On the other side of things, senior cat actually showed herself to my friend. (Members of my own family believe this is my "imaginary cat," such is her level of shyness.)
Fingers crossed for Liz' state, and other places holding elections today.
It is apparently social butterfly week for me, because I had breakfast with a friend and her friend, and that was so good.
Such exciting wedding news, Sue, and welcome back from your trip!
Kathy, every layer of awful with that shooter, and everyone's failure to prevent this, is so upsetting.
I hope you have a lovely visit with your friend, and that the pup settles in to having her around.
AW: E's fever broke last night, and now all that's left is an occasional little cough (mostly at night) and a bit of a congested nose. I've also regained my energy, and so I think we're almost better.
W: good thing we're mostly better, because I'm all-but-solo parenting until Thursday morning, thanks to non-stop parent-teacher interviews. (E will only see Mr. Q if she wakes up early enough to see him before he leaves for school.) I'm also babysitting tomorrow afternoon, and so I'd better make sure I conserve my energy, because I won't get to do the handoff with Mr. Q at 4pm.
Yay wedding!! Yay no fever!! Yay social butterfly!!
AW: the doorbell rang this afternoon, and it was the middle school boy from a few houses away. He is the sweetest boy ever, because he brings his kindergarten sister to the bus stop every morning, and he is endlessly patient with her. I wait with the Baboos for the bus every morning, probably unnecessarily, but it paid off today. The boy had left his phone on his bus, so he was unable to call his mom at work to tell her he was home safe, plus he was worried about his phone. He was on the verge of tears. So we called his mom, and she took care of it, and the phone is found. I heard him tell her: “at the lady who os at the bus stop in the morning. This is her phone.” So I’m glad waiting at the bus stop made me a safe person for him. It made the world seem a little brighter today.
Esperanza on the phone
Esperanza! You are the "look for the helpers" person that Mr. Rogers used to talk about. And a real hero, for helping this sweet boy and his family. xoxoxo
Go Virginia!!!
Yay Virginia and NJ!
Yay for your son's wedding Sue!
Yay for friends' visits!
And double yay for awesome middle schoolers, and for safe people to help.
:) Neighbor Lady
W.H.E.W., Virginia! Well done!
And in local news, not *everyone* I voted for is losing, which was the case last year. And single member districts look like they're going to pass, which is good.
Go, everybody who is a helper! So happy about Virginia (and we know one or 2 Pixies to thank, in part), New Jersey, and omg, even Texas!!
what's happened in TX??
Oh, I was just commenting on what you said, Esperanza -- some districts are looking good. Not following those races myself. Keep us posted!
We may win the house of delegates. WE MAY WIN THE HOUSE OF DELEGATES!!!
Yay Esperanza! Yay Sue!!!
Fingers crossed over here, Liz!
This is not so bad a week on the electoral side, so far as I've heard!
Oh, ok. We just had local races here. One of my candidates won. Single member districts won for my town, which is good.
Y'all. I talked to the sweet boy at the bus stop this morning. The bus driver *came back yesterday afternoon to bring him his phone* <3
That's wonderful, esperanza!
Liz, the results from your state are so exciting! And well done on all your hard work (as I know you're always out there, knocking on doors).
Our local city council and mayor races are ostensibly non-partisan. Candidates just enter the race, but not as D or R. I was able to find some information on some of the candidates, but when I couldn't, I defaulted to vote for the person of color or woman. The person that I voted for who won, was the candidate in her city council race that was pro-single member districts, which I was also. Our small city is divided (racially, economically, resources) by a major highway. None of the city leadership is from the other side of the highway. Single member districts seemed like a no brainer to ensure equal representation.
Yay for being the Helper, esperanza. What a sensible, caring boy to know his mom would worry.
Yay, Virginia!!!! Liz, I am so happy for you and for your state!
W: MIL is in hospital. On Monday night, she didn't recognize FIL, freaked out, and didn't know where she was. She tried to leave in her nightgown and slippers (it was about -7C outside) so FIL tried to get her back in the condo. He couldn't convince her, so he called 911. While they waited, he called hubby so he could talk her down. She didn't know hubby either, but seemed somewhat consoled when he said, "People are coming who will help you. Just try to stay calm and they'll be there shortly." She's been admitted and is on the crisis list for longterm care.
Alzheimer's really is a death by inches.
AW: My FIL had the first good night of sleep he's had in months.
Oh, Sue. I'm so sorry. I'm glad that MIL is getting help, and that FIL is sleeping, but this is so heartbreaking. Hugs.
Oh, Sue, that is heartbreaking, like QWP said. I'm sorry it had to come to such a point, but I'm glad she's getting help. Your hubby did well in helping her calm down and be safe, despite what I'm sure was his own distress.
((( Sue ))) Oh, how heartbreaking. I'm glad she's getting help, that they're looking for something more permanent, that FIL has a chance to catch up after working so hard to protect her.
Dementia is very cruel. xoxo
Had a very funny and sweet exchange with my "co-mother," the mother of my daughter in law, about what I should bring to their Thanksgiving extravaganza. Mom insisted I should do the savory sweet potato gratin WITH real sausage, because that's the only sweet potato thing she's ever liked -- and anyway, her daughter (who is vegetarian) has her father looking out for her. So, I countered with "she's my daughter now, too!" and offered to bring another veg dish, cheese tortellini with pesto. She agreed. Win win win!
Nobody ever leaves their house hungry. ;)
Yum...is there a recipe for this sweet potato and sausage thing? Because it sounds good.
And it's great that y'all can celebrate together!
I lost the original recipe, but here's a close enough version -- fortunately saved elsewhere. Ideally, you want 3 layers of sweet potato and 2 of the sausage/onion in between. YMMV, but this is a forgiving kind of recipe; use spices you like. I forgot to mention putting pepper and spices in with the sausage and onions. It all melds as it cooks, and is easy to reheat.
"I cannot find the exact recipe for the gratin, but it has about 2-2.5 lbs of thin-sliced peeled sweet potatoes; layer with about 1/2 lb. sausage cooked with thin-sliced onions (crumble the sausage as it cooks); layer in a buttered baking dish; mix about 2 cups cream, thyme, maybe some sage, a little chicken broth (1-2 cups), and pour over; top with bread crumbs and parmesean. Bake at 400F covered for 30 minutes, then uncovered for another 15. (This is such a good alternative to the sweet potato and marshmallow thing.) The main trick is to get the slices of sweet potato thin enough, about 1/8 inch."
That sounds amazing, Kathy.
Selfish old skool whine: so, every year on E's birthday, I've submitted her name and picture for the birthday greetings during her kids' shows on TV. I've always set a calendar reminder, and it's always been a special first-thing-in-the-morning birthday thing (AND I'm feeling a little wistful about this, because next year she'll be in school). I forgot until today, and the cutoff for birthday greetings is four weeks before (and her birthday is four weeks from yesterday). It's so late in the day that I had to enter in a date two days after her birthday as her birthday, on the website, before they'd accept it. It's a small thing, and she might not even notice (maybe I'll make sure we aren't watching her shows on the morning of her birthday, so she doesn't notice the omission), and she'll still get a kick out of seeing her picture two days later. But I'm feeling a little bit of guilt for forgetting right now.
Kathy a, what kind of sausage? Just regular, in a tube, breakfast sausage?
QWP, you are anything but a slacker. It never occurred to me to submit Baboos' names for their birthdays!
Upon reflection, how emotional I'm feeling about this may have to do with exhaustion, sickness, and the cold medication I took today (I very rarely take cold meds, and they throw me for a loop). Because wow, I feel ready to cry about forgetting that my kid's birthday is less than a month away. (I already booked her first real party! I should feel like I'm ahead of things!)
Esperanza, yes. I use breakfast sausage from a tube, preferably the kind that says it includes sage. But any kind of sausage works. I've done it with mild italian sausage before, also. Whatever is handy, so long as it gets broken up.
I agree, QWP. Not one person can call you a slacker. xoxo
AW: So, as I should have been able to predict, I told S that her birthday message will happen two days after her actual birthday, and she says, "Okay!" I should have known she'd be fine with celebrating her birthday for longer.
Yum, that does sound good, kathy!
QWP, you are anything but a slacker! Well done on the birthday party prep and the birthday message!
AW: My little car is in the shop getting winter tires put on. 'Tis the season. When I drop the car off, I know they are going to want the mileage, so I write in on a sticky note (you have sticky notes in your car, right?) before I go into the dealership. This morning, the nice woman at the desk looked at the number and said, "You've missed a zero, I think."
Nope. My 2013 vehicle has exactly 20,300 km on it (extra cool that it's such a perfect, round number). I am literally that woman who only drives to church... and hospital, homes etc...but nothing is far from here. Ha!
That's fabulous, Sue! Now that we live a four-minute walk from Mr. Q's work/E's school, we're starting to get reminders from the oil change place about how it's been a long time since our last service (because it takes quite a few months to the oil change mileage, when you only drive to church and the grocery store -- and we easily could walk to the grocery store, but I don't want to haul everything home without the car!). We frequently go for two months without filling with gas! After so many years commuting, this is so nice.
(Although I'm going to confess that I'm going to drive E to school today, even though it takes just as long to drive as it does to walk -- sometimes longer, when you factor in buckling into the car seat, etc. She's quite a bit better from her cold, but she's still stuffy-nosed and occasionally coughing, and I don't want to make it worse by subjecting her to -23C, with a windchill of -32C.)
W: you guys, it's EARLY NOVEMBER. This is January weather. I should not need to wear long johns this long before actual winter starts!
That sounds mighty chilly, Canadian friends!
Clyde was a pill yesterday -- whiny, barky, too much energy -- plus, it rained overnight, and he is convinced the outdoors is too cold (close to 60F) to support canine life. So, he is visiting his good friends at doggy day care today, in the hope he runs off some of that whatever. He practically pulled me through the glass front, he was so excited to be there!
My friend hasn't gotten here for dinner the past few nights, but she'll be here tonight. I'm making a nice stew.
I want to send HUGE kudos to Liz and Elizabeth, who worked like heck on the elections in their state -- and Pixies, what triumphs! There are still some contested seats, but boy howdy, lots and lots of victories! Go, team! xoxoxo
Friend on hospice died this morning. People behaving annoyingly on social media (no surprise there).
(((((esperanza)))))) So sorry to hear about your friend!
--Neighbor lady
((( Esperanza ))) I'm so sorry. xoxo
I just need to whine about the social media bit. It is one particular person, whose social media use has bothered me in the past. I know there are three incidents, but I can't remember what the middle one was. The first: her job was reduced from full time to 2/3 time. She takes to fb to lament, not mentioning that her co-worker's job was eliminated. And today, before any official announcement of this friend's death, before I knew about it myself, she posts "my friend died this morning" and then a poem she wrote about the friend. Only afterward, did I realize that her friend was *my* friend, too. It felt like her grieving was more important than anyone else's. And she's a pastor who should know better.
Ah. The other event actually happened before the first one I described above. She publicly called out our seminary (minister graduate school) for an honest mistake, without just checking with them directly. Seriously.
Now I feel better.
Oh boy, is that ever inappropriate use of social media, and lack of awareness of boundaries! And she's a pastor!!
I know there are other people who use social media inappropriately, but she got on my radar, and now I notice *every* time she does it. I try to respond to her innocuous "isn't my kid cute" posts, just so I'm not continually rolling my eyes at her.
Bleah, Esperanza.
Well, my friend texted to say she was studying and would be here by 8 p.m. And then that she would eat leftovers she brought from the other night. I didn't want to pressure here about meeting some schedule of ours, but I keep having food ready for dinner, in case.... Oh, well. Will try to get things more clear in coming days. (She's going for dinner with a friend tomorrow.)
Kathy, so sorry things aren't working out as smoothly as hoped! Mild cluesticking for your friend, and hoping that things start to gel a bit better!
esperanza, that is so frustrating about the social media, and especially hard to see when you are dealing with your own grieving. So sorry....
W (mutliple):
1. Neighbor Boy's school had to shelter in place due to a robbery (possibly armed) at the nearby grocery store (with a bank in it)-- that's the one we usually use-- and though I got a phone message when the shelter in place ended, they announced the start of it by email (which I don't get on my phone). So it was a bit jarring when I found out, and we had to scramble to change pick-up plans because he usually walks home.... but they hadn't caught the guy.... so no walking.
2. Neighbor Guy is flying to India today for 10 days for work. He has never been there, and I have a great deal of anxiety about this trip. I am usually the vigilant, worried one when we travel (don't drink that water, don't get ice in drinks, yada yada, and am hoping he actually does that himself on this trip, as everyone we have talked to about this says it is necessary. bottled water even for brushing teeth, etc. Plus one friend warned about being alert for terrorism activities.... well, that's restful.
sigh.
It will be a long ten days.
Have been trying to keep from sharing ALL of my feelings and anxieties, but holding it in isn't so happy either. Then, my MIL arrives 2 days after he returns, to be with us for Tgiving.
3. School is stressful
That is all.
Thanks for listening....
Neighbor Lady
Hugs about all those stresses, NL. (And I know lot of friends and family who have traveled to India a lot, and I know that everything depends on which region one travels to, but they've all had really good experiences in terms of health and food! Much fewer health issues than friends who have vacationed in Mexico and the Caribbean have had.)
W: greetings from the middle of a snowstorm.
QWP, thank you so much for that!!!
It makes me feel better!
Hope the snowstorm is fluffy and beautiful and not so much of a headache, but still, snow.....! yikes!
--NL
Esperanza, I just scrolled further up and realised I'd missed the news about your friend who was in hospice! I'm so sorry. So many hugs.
I'm glad that was helpful, NL!
Oh, NL! That is truly scary, the lockdown at NB's school! Oy.
And I'm sorry Neighbor Guy will be gone 10 days -- that's a good stretch of time to be single parenting while working! NG is a smart guy; if there are precautions suggested where ever he is going, I'm sure he'd rather take them than end up sick in some hotel room. (If he'll be with other Americans, the collective protective thing may also help -- somebody will be monitoring everything and sharing warnings, if needed.)
Oh, boy. Only 2 days between his return and an incoming in-law! I loved my MIL, but she was our silverware drawer re-arranger, the one who'd try to clean under my refrigerator, etc., just trying to be helpful... ;)
No need to cluestick my friend; not seeing all that much of her, but it's delightful! And I know she has dinner plans tonight. I was low key about her joining us for dinner, anyway, saying I always cook too much and she's always welcome. (True! But maybe I went overboard expecting dinners, since it turns out her days are busy and long.)
QWP, snowstorm? Huh. It sure got cold in a hurry, up your way.
AW: The friend I met for breakfast on Tuesday is doing some work with getting refugees settled in new homes, taking them basics. SO, she's coming this weekend to pick up daughter's former bed, and some kitchen things from SIL's stash.
So, even though Grey's Anatomy got less enjoyable in recent seasons, I'm pretty much liking this season, and really liking last night's episode, so far. (I watch the next day, online.)
We had guests for supper tonight. It was fun, but it always seems like a gargantuan effort.
It IS a lot of effort, but hope it was worth it, Esperanza. xoxo
We went out to a local pub, early-ish, and it was not only so satisfying to eat food I didn't cook - but there were a lot of little kids, since they have a kid-friendly play space. Ahh.
(((esperanza))) So sorry to hear of your loss. And yes, the person behaving badly on social media should know better. Ugh.
(((NL))) So many hugs. Ten days is a long time. I hope it goes well, and quickly, so life is back to normal asap.
MIL still in hospital, but we've had a meeting with discharge planning and she is on a crisis list. Hopefully she will be placed in long term care soon.
A snowy Remembrance Day today, but not too cold at least.
Fingers crossed for MIL's placement, Sue.
My friend and I went to lunch today! She is keeping so busy, but got to leave early today, and has plans to see cousins tonight.
AW: Had a wonderful day with out-of-state friend, and more local friend, too.
W: Local friend just "resigned" from her position, and she will start a new one in January. In the meantime, she looks and seems utterly exhausted. I hope she can rest.
W: Hanging out with friends means I am up late, working without full brain capacity tonight. Yawn.
Hooray for Kathy and Esperanza having nice visits with friends! I'm likewise operating at only partial capacity today, after being out to the movies last night (E had a sleepover with grandparents).
W: her cold got a little worse again today, now with a nasty chest cough. We ended up leaving soccer between practice and actual game this morning, because she was feeling so rough, all of a sudden. If she's still coughing tomorrow morning, one of us will stay home from church with her.
Anticipatory AW: I get to see and hold a 10 day old baby on Tuesday! Squee! My one non-church friend in our former town had a (surprise!) baby at 41 years old.
P.S. You can tell by the frequency of my posts, that I am supposed to be working :)
Yay about new baby lovin'!
AW: The social justice friend I saw for breakfast on Tuesday is bringing a truck by to haul off my daughter's bedframe, AND a box of plates, glasses, mugs, and a serving dish from my SIL's stuff -- all for the refugee family she's helping settle at the moment! All matching sets, except the serving dish is a little different from the rest.
And: The visiting friend will actually be with us for dinner, so we finally get to cook for her!
W: rotten potato
Kathy, hurray for all that stuff going to a very good home! And for a meal with the visiting friend.
Esperanza, that is a very worthy whine. Oh goodness: the smell.
W: I barely slept last night, because E coughed for two hours straight (and intermittently for the rest of the night). We've put her to bed, and now I'm sitting here, listening to her cough. We bought her a new humidifier today, and did everything we could. He temperature was up again for a while, and so now I'm thinking we might need to visit the walk-in clinic tomorrow. (I believe our family doctor's office is closed tomorrow, in lieu of this weekend's holiday.)
QWP, is it a barky cough? What used to help my son, who turned out to have asthma, was taking a stint in a closed bathroom with the shower running hot, so he could breathe all the steam. I sat in there with him on my lap, and sang all the silly songs I could remember. And then a little bit outside in the cold (bundled if necessary). That often helped a lot. (Caveat: our "cold" is not like your "cold," so ymmv.)
xoxo
My only other suggestion is the inhaler (doesn't she have one? Am I remembering correctly?) Even if I can't hear any wheezing, a constant cough like that might be from inflamed airway. And if it's keeping the Baboo (and therefore me) from sleeping, I give it a try. Caveat: sometimes inhalers make Baboos bounce off the wall. It doesn't have that effect on Sweet, so it doesn't affect sleeping for her. YMMV.
I've been keeping an eye on the cough, because she does have an inhaler, although she's been growing out of the mild asthma. Last night, I was tempted to go and give her the puffer, but since I wasn't hearing any wheezing, I kept hesitating because I didn't want to wake her up and cause her to bounce off the walls! (The next morning, she had no memory of coughing, so it seems like she didn't actually wake up for all that.)
We'll see about tonight. If the cough gets barky and persistent, I'll get up and administer the puffer. Hopefully, the humidifier helps tonight.
Oh, I'll second the inhaler. 2 hours of coughing? It's time to give that a try. xoxo
AW: after being all ready to get up in the night and administer a puffer as needed, E didn't cough all night! And her temp is back down to normal. Hooray for all of us getting a good night's sleep.
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