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Monday, December 12, 2016

Here I Am, Remembering to Do Something

Last week, I forgot to post a Whining post for the week, and kathy a graciously stepped in. Then I forgot to do a similar thing on Saturday, and someone else graciously stepped in. What is wrong with me?!? So I'm doing this first thing this morning, and have already scheduled my post for Saturday's obligation. Let's see what else I can forget to take care of today.

What is slipping between the cracks at your house?

123 comments:

Queen of West Procrastination said...

So very much is slipping through the cracks here, esperanza. I just realised that we have overdue library books, but I'm too sick to return them.

AW/W: my fever broke, once I got some sleep! But I tossed and turned with aching joints for half the night. Seeing E's symptoms from last week and now mine, I think this is the truncated version of the flu that it's still possible to get after having that flu shot. I have all the symptoms, but sped up and not as bad as times when I've had full-blown influenza.

kathy a. said...

I desperately need a cleaning elf, because I'm apparently really bad at making my house look sparkly. Or even making a written list of tasks, much less tackling them. The front rooms are semi-orderly, and I can fluff and stuff (stuff junk in closets or someplace) with the best of them -- but it's time to do the detail work, wash all the dust-collectors on shelves, vacuum chairs, polish furniture, superscrub this and that, yadda ya.

Sue said...

((QWP))) I hope you feel better really soon.

kathy, feel free to send those cleaning elves up North when they finish at your place. I am keeping up with laundry, but that's about it. Otherwise the place is looking pretty rough.

esperanza, I totally understand that things are slipping through the cracks. It's already a busy time of year, and now you have a new job to think about too!

AW: There is a large shiny globe in the sky today! Actual sunlight, pixies. Sunlight!!! I'm hoping to go for a walk later in the afternoon.

W: MIL was supposed to be discharged from hospital between 8 and 9 am today. it's 12:30, still no discharge. Apparently they need the gerontologist to see her first. Ack.

Totally selfish whine: Last Monday was the family meeting from hell at the hospital. Today (Monday) I've been waiting by the phone because I am picking up both in-laws at the hospital once she's released.

Monday is my only day off. Like I said, selfish whine. Still, I would dearly love a day at home in my jammies.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Book of Faces just reminded me that today is four years since we were finally released from the hospital, after days of waiting for the on-call neurosurgeon to sign off on our release. Same thing happened to be dad (but with a respiratory specialist) a month before, but he managed to get out by signing a thing that he'd go to see the specialist as an outpatient, and having his nurse help him book said appointment. If the on-call gerontologist is busy today, you might be able to get them to sign off on outpatient evaluation. (So long as it seems like she's okay. In your MIL's case, I don't know.)

esperanza said...

It is the worst when days off get overtaken, Sue. Whine away.

AW: We also have sunshine today!

QWP, sorry you're feeling crummy, but I'm very glad the flu is truncated and less severe. Can you renew library books online? It's the best invention ever.

Speaking of anniversaries, tomorrow is Sweet's original due date. The 19th is when we took her home from the NICU. That was the year I quit Christmas cards :)

Liz Miller said...

We also have sun!

Hugs to everyone dealing with illness, hospitals, and memories of hospitals, which seems to be all y'all.

Sue said...

MIL is home and is in good spirits! It took longer and was way more complicated than it needed to be, but at least she's home.

kathy a. said...

Sue, the delay (after a week of planning for MIL's discharge) is totally not a selfish whine! Jeepers. A week, people! I'm so glad she is in good spirits, getting home. xoxo

Love also for the bambinas whose "going home" dates are up once again. It is good to remember happy milestones! It was around now when my premature sister came home in 1965, too. (I didn't keep a calendar back then; just know it was maybe a week or two before Christmas.)

AW: The fundraiser thing, it was very successful for the organization we support! Even though turnout was on the low side, a lot of folks donated online. So glad! And I'm still on kind of a high about seeing so many old friends, trading news and war stories.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Well done on the successful fundraiser, Kathy! And Sue, I'm glad that your MIL is home now.

W: I couldn't renew the books online, because they're overdue. I'll have to send Mr. Q to return them.

Liz Miller said...

AW: Some of the exercises I've been doing (correctly) for my TMJ are no longer difficult.

W: So my PT has given me new exercises to do.

AW: One of them is still not difficult.

W: "Hmmmm...next time I'll add weight to that one"

:D

kathy a. said...

I guess that's progress? Yay!

kathy a. said...

Stuffing / dressing is a flexible thing, right? I have an excess of bread, and am thinking of doing maybe a half-recipe including onion, celery, garlic, pancetta, spices. We have other leftovers, salad, broc. This might be a glimmer of holiday spirit, so I'm going with it.

Liz Miller said...

Stuffing is totes flexible. Sounds delish.

Anonymous said...

Stuffing is my favorite food.
Well, one of them, and it's at the top of the list!
--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

There was so much food left after the event. I took home almost a gallon ziploc of sliced sourdough baguette! Which is wonderful all on its own, but there is a lot left, 2 days after the slicing. Plus, more OK sourdough bread that's been neglected with fancy bread in the house.

I accidentally also grabbed large leftover chunks of pretty cheese that turned out to be flavored with cumin. This was not as good a choice as the brie infused with blue cheese, let me tell you. Cumin has its place, and it isn't in cheese, is my opinion.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

If you have a lot of that leftover sourdough, could bread pudding or French toast use up the rest of it, after your stuffing?

Also, with that cumin cheese: how does it melt? I feel like that could be a good ingredient in something.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Was it perhaps a Leyden cheese or gouda? I'm reading up about its uses. (I wish you were nearby, so that I could take that off your hands.)

Liz Miller said...

I think the cumin cheese might go well in a rice dish. Maybe with some ground lamb?

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Cheese straws! Melted into a pureed cauliflower soup, or potato soup, or celariac soup, or some combination of the above. I found a recipe for savoury muffins that calls for it. And a fondue recipe that uses that, with pancetta and onion. (I did a p1nt3r3st search.)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh my goodness: mac and cheese, using that cheese, and topped with caramelized onions. I'm going to be going out to find some of this cheese now.

Liz Miller said...

Or oh! Maybe a frittata? My sister uses up leftovers by making a frittata. Any cheese bits in the cheese drawer, wilted veggies from the veggie drawer, bits of leftover meat.

In a large cast-iron skillet, saute up a finely chopped onion with garlic, mince the leftover meat and add it to the onions/garlic. Finely chop your wilted veggies, add them to the pan. Beat up as many eggs as will fit in the pan. Grate the cheese and sprinkle it liberally over the top. Preheat the oven to 350. Put the pan in the oven and cook until firm.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I just fainted at the thought of how good that frittata would be.

kathy a. said...

Y'all can have this cheese. It is from Holland, even. And I am a person who cannot live w/o cheese. But it's pretty blech.

kathy a. said...

Also, my husband loves all your ideas. So maybe he'll cook them. Or nachos. Blech.

esperanza said...

Cumin says Tex-Mex to me, so that's the direction I would go with it. I loooovvveee it.

Liz Miller said...

W: no one wanted to sit next to me on the couch tonight and I don't know why (toots, sniffs, nods) Okay. I know why.

Anonymous said...

LOL Liz!

And, as to the original question about what is slipping through the cracks here..... the answer is absolutely everything that I have been responsible for! Drowning with school. Neighbor Guy is a rock star for keeping the household going.

So many things on my lists. Checking NO lists twice.... ;)
Trying to make lists of lists...

AW: a bit less schoolwork this week than last

--Neighbor Lady

Sorry, I feel like all I do is complain about school.

esperanza said...

Whine, NL, whine! That's what we're here for.

LOL at "checking no lists twice."

I thought I had all my cr@p together, and then I went at 7:00 for a 6:30 neighborhood party, believing that I was on time. It had been published, in written form, for 6:30. I just got 7:00 in my head. Sigh.

Sue said...

LOL, Liz! Glad the jaw exercises are getting easier, too.

NL, I hear you on the lists of lists and no checking twice of said lists. And yes, whine away!!

AW: I had a great sleep last night.

W: It ended way too soon - as in, 5:00 am. Gah! Woke up and could not get back to sleep because my mind was busy solving ALL THE THINGS. I really hate it when that happens. I'm accustomed to taking hours to fall asleep, but this waking up early thing is new and perfectly awful.

(Warning: Anyone proclaiming 5:00 am as "The best part of the day!!" - particularly if posted while wearing a Happy Smiley Morning Face, will receive a virtual sneer from this sleepy pixie. Just sayin'...)

Liz Miller said...

5:00 AM sucks. I know this for a fact, because I've occasionally gotten up that early on purpose.

Liz Miller said...

Y'all know that every year we put up dozens of chocolates at the church auction right? This year, I went back to, "you order a dozen, I'll deliver it to you at church the second Sunday in December." because I made a gross of chocolates for everyone to eat AT the auction dinner, and I wasn't gonna make more right then.

So several of the "winners" of the chocolates ("Pay now, $15/dozen") didn't come to church on Sunday and one of them is going out of town for a couple of weeks starting this Saturday, so I delivered them to her house yesterday.

It's a house I canvassed when I was running for office, and it totally felt bitter sweet to be there again.

But I'm not running again, and even though I made a huge difference canvassing for Clinton this year (my county and my state went for her), I'm feeling like my canvassing days are over.

Of course, ask me again in a few months.

kathy a. said...

The only good thing I can say about 5 a.m. is that it is better to wake up then, than to still be awake then.

Liz! Lotta chocolate, but I know it is filled with love. As has been your canvassing. You have knocked more doors that anybody around here, so KUDOS to you!

We all do what we can, in ways that we can -- but it doesn't mean we have to do something so labor-intensive forever. xoxo

AW, I think -- even though many things I care about seem to be going to the furnace in a handbasket, I'm starting to feel more hopeful about the resilience of teh human spirit, that the only way all the worst will happen is if we all sit back and say "woe is me." The Resistance for the long haul, baby!

This more positive view is not getting my house any cleaner, though. Need to put together a battle plan for that.

esperanza said...

Someone TEXTED me at 5:22 am the other day. No one was dead, or even ill. It was not an emergency. I was unamused.

Breakfast tacos for breakfast and enchiladas for lunch. It's a good food day.

kathy a. said...

Esperanza, just another reason to hate texting. IMO. When my computer gets email, it doesn't wake me up. Just sayin'.

esperanza said...

I know! I have no idea what this person was thinking, other than that they were awake and needed to ask me a question. She is normally a thoughtful person, too! Some people turn their phone to "do not disturb" during overnight hours, but I don't feel ok doing that. I'm worried that my parents would have an emergency (and I would be so helpful from 4 hours away), or that someone at the church would have a tragedy. Most church people are actually really good about waiting until a civilized hour. I have email alerts turned off all the time.

Making more candy today. And it's sunny again, after about noon!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I'm now being trained out of early texting myself, esperanza! My family used to all be the types who shut off our ringers (or even shut off our phones entirely) until we were awake in the morning, and so texting was the courteous way to get a message out without waking someone up. But now that isn't the case (and my mom has her "do not disturb" settings on a program, and so if she sleeps in, a text might wake her up). So: email. Email only.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Speaking of the original question about what has slipped through the cracks: so, I thought I was really being on the ball today, and registered E for her next round of swimming lessons starting in April. (First day of registration for ALL leisure activities, all the way until June! Swimming lessons fill up quickly.) Then I realised that I haven't paid any of our utility bills this month, and it's already mid-month.

kathy a. said...

Yes, must register early for kid stuff!

I had friends who went with a bills basket, but our disorderly method involves various stacks, depending on the arrangement of who pays for what. And for weird bills, like the person who does SIL's hair and just calls to say how much the check should be -- post-it notes.

Speaking of which, I probably should have gotten a professional haircut before the Big Event, but maybe by next year. On the up side, I'm not the only one sporting shaggy gray hair, nowadays, so I fit right in. :)

p_k said...

I hate being in a position where any minor mistake could have huge consequences.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh no, pk! I hope you're okay.

kathy a. said...

((( PK ))) And that's not fair. I mean, STBX has made many *major* mistakes... The Posse has your back. xoxo

kathy a. said...

OK, so some creepy person, possibly a relative, sent my daughter a lovely gift via @m@z0n. And there is no indication whatsoever who sent it. Which is weird, right? Also, since her birthday is not long after Christmas, it could be for either event. All the relatives who send gifts to her have already sent ones for Christmas. (At least they signed their names.)

I have my suspicion about this. And some people shouldn't be so fireplacing secretive, you know? Because it is creepy.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

That is creepy, Kathy!

Tiny wistful whine: Mr. Q had to take E to get her 4yo shots today, without me, because I was feeling too much under the weather to go. It's always been her and me for those trips, and it's the last round that she gets at the public health office (and the boosters aren't until she's in grade 6!). I'd planned a whole "look at what a big kid you are now" thing, including supper at the fast food restaurant that's around the corner from Public Health, which has a big indoor play structure. E and Mr. Q did great, and had a good time (and it turned out that one of her preschool buddies was at the restaurant at the same time, and they played together). I'm glad it went well, but am feeling a bit wistful now. It's the end of another baby thing, I guess, and it's school stuff from here on out.

(Okay, I'm also worried about tomorrow, because I'm determined to get E to school, and I'm still feeling pretty rough. Also, she was pretty cranky at bedtime, and got to sleep later than usual. But she's classroom helper tomorrow! And she told her school friend she'd be there! I have to make this work. I really hope she's not cranky at school again.)

kathy a. said...

Oooh! Classroom helper is a big incentive!

QWP, honestly -- there will be SO many other things along the way. She knows you will be there for her! But you don't have to be The One, every time. It is really good for Daddy to be on the spot, too. (I wish I could have given away some of the shot-oriented visits...)

Anonymous said...

One of the people in my house doesn't wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom. Apparently, bringing this up was equivalent to saying he's a Trump voter. It seems the only person in the house who is not allowed to be criticized is his Lordship, Perfection Personified.

Anon for this

Sue said...

kathy, that's creepy about the gift. Definitely. If the gift-giver is the person you suspect, is the gift appropriate to that person's relationship with you daughter?

Anon - Just, ew. Persist, despite the opposition to being criticized. The no-hand-washing person needs to know they are risking others in your home (in much the same way as my plague-ridden secretary shows up to work with germs seeping from every pore).

AW: So far, so good, in in-law world. MIL being relatively passive about the care workers being in the house. Fingers crossed for continued success.

AW: Parcels boxed up and ready to be sent off to family. They will arrive on Tuesday. Yay!

W: I am TERRIBLE at gift-wrapping. I would go with gift bags, but they get squashed in the mailing box. I'm thinking of trying cloth bags next year.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Cloth bags sound like a lovely idea for next year, Sue! And I'm glad that your MIL isn't resisting the care workers in her home.

Anon: yikes! Keep up the good work of encouraging everyone to wash their hands.

W: my brain decided that last night (as I frantically try to get better from this cold before friends come and stay for the weekend) would be a great time for me to get 3 hours of sleep. I just didn't fall asleep for quite a while, and then at 5:30 I woke up when E made a little sound, and I didn't fall asleep after that. Instead, my brain helpfully decided to attempt to write that letter to my city councillor that I've put off writing. Thanks, brain! I really wasn't in the mood to think about public transit at 5:30am.

AW: E's at preschool right now

W: it was very cold outside, and we needed to use the car, because of my cold, and again the process of getting in and out of the car took us longer than walking to school does.

esperanza said...

W: My butt seems to be glued to the couch this morning.

esperanza said...

Further W: this couch problem seems to happen every time I write "cleaning" on the day's to-do list

Liz Miller said...

QWP, I don't live in the far north like you do (it very seldom gets below zero F, here), but I have found that I stay warmest if I wear pjs under my (flannel-lined) pants, and put a toque over the hood of my sweatshirt (which I wear under my heavy coat). This may or may not be useful to you.

kathy a. said...

Anonymous -- ick! The hand-washing deficiency AND the attitude. How 'bout one of those stickers like they put in restaurant rest rooms, about the glories of handwashing for public health?

QWP, hope you feel better! I cannot imagine that kind of atmospheric temperature. We complain around here if it dips into the 40's(F), because that's how hardy we are[n't].

Sue, hooray about finishing and sending the presents! I don't think anybody should ever apologize for present wrapping turning out less than perfect -- it's all gonna be torn off, anyway. And besides, who knows what happens to them in transit? Finally, your helpers were feline. I rest my case.

Esperanza, my desk chair traps me when cleaning is on my list. It's a worldwide furniture conspiracy!

kathy a. said...

Another @m@z0n package arrived for my daughter today, this one with a gift note saying only "Happy New Year [daughter's name]." NO fireplacing NAME from the sender.

I did figure it out because that person's cell phone was on the address label -- a number I knew but daughter would not. And in my opinion, it is still creepy for a relative to not sign a name -- this would still be anonymous, but for a clue that some @m@z0n person put on a label. This person should get life lined up in a more orderly fashion, and stop thinking that it's groovy for a younger person to get anonymous gifts from people who won't identify themselves.

p_k said...

So, did I mention that on Sunday STBX asked me to watch the kids from after church until after dinner on what would have been my one day to rest or plan other things without the kids in an almost 2-week time period? And then when I did have the one night without toddler (who still wakes multiple times per night), I stayed up later than was wise that night reading a book on kids and divorce--only to be awakened in the morning by frantic phone calls from kids who forgot stuff at my house and needed me to rush to bring it to them at school--they realized it the night before, but didn't call me until literally a few minutes before I would need top leave to drive to their school, half an hour before I would have needed to leave for the standard pickup of toddler who STBX usually drops off on his way to work after taking older kids to school on his once-a-week overnights with her.

Then when I arrived, he offered to take the books in for the kids so I could just take toddler and leave. This was about 5 minutes before school started in the morning.

I had an event at the school helping hand out treats to the kids at 4 lunch periods, during which 14yo pointedly ignored me when I spoke to her, twice.

Then when I picked the kids up after school they asked me why I had the school secretary put 6th-grader's notebook that she needed for her first period class, and 9th-grader's p.e. log, in 10th graders locker, and why I didn't bring them until lunch time.

That night toddler, as usual after time with her dad, was miserable from the constipation that crops up like clockwork virtually every time she goes to him, and woke up more than every hour all night. It was a short night anyway because I stayed up late trying to finish some documentation and paperwork that I had originally planned to do while the kids were gone with their dad the day before.

And of course comma the emotionally draining fielding of questions about things like why are you being so mean to daddy because he comes back so sad every time he interacts with you, and he said you wouldn't let toddler have that (insert age-inappropriate item that she promptly broke and tried to eat after he sprung it on me and asked if she could have it or if he needed to take it off her--literally in the middle of handing her off to me, and which I let her take because I knew from prior experience that the alternative was to have her cry for the next 2 hours due to having a very exciting special thing that she isn't allowed to have at my house (because it's not appropriate for toddlers!) taken away from her at the moment of an already-stressful exchange). But daddy spent so much money on that thing you wouldn't let her have, and he just wanted to make toddler happy! But you got mad at him and wouldn't let her have it, because you're always like that and you're just so mean to all of us all the time.

I was so exhausted by that time, my pain and fatigue levels were higher than they'd been in months.

The next morning, after several nights in a row of 3-4 broken goes of sleep, birthday party, etc . . . I did not wake up when my alarm went off. The kids refuse to set their alarms or get themselves up, so they were all sleeping too.

We got out the door in 15 minutes flat, but they were so late to school.

:( :(

p_k said...

Stress and rushing are the worst for my health issues, because I get what's called an adrenaline surge, that has long-lasting repercussions. And that happened a lot this week.

p_k said...

Forgot to mention I'm also fighting the nasty winter respiratory virus that several of the kids have had, which of course doesn't help.

Anonymous said...

(((((((p_k)))))))
STBX is totally playing you and setting you up. This is SO awful! I am so sorry, and offer you infinite virtual hugs and love.
--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Yes, what NL said. He is totally setting you up and sabotaging you. And also what NL said on the hugs and love.

Sue said...

(((pk))) He's setting you up. Even in your exhaustion and pain, write it all down. It will be worth it later. Also, it might be worth a call to your lawyer. Is the GAL involved yet? Surely something can be done about his behaviour.

kathy a. said...

((( PK ))) Amazing displays of untrustworthiness... I am so sorry he is hurting the kids, and making you look bad at the same time.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I'm so sorry, PK. Not only is STBX setting you up, but he's also taught the kids to scapegoat you, as a means to avoid consequences for their own choices. (Let's be honest: that's what happened with the school notebooks thing.)

kathy a. said...

Well, but then STBX ensured the notebooks didn't get to where they needed to go -- and that PK got blamed because they knew she was delivering them....

p_k said...

I can't prove it wasn't the school's mistake that the books got to the wrong kids at the wrong time. STBX will claim that he did everything right and has no idea why the books ended up in the wrong places at the wrong times.

That's what it was like living with him. The constant chaos and sabotaging, undermining and passive aggressive stuff that was always an innocent mistake or a coincidence, and impossible to prove or even know for sure whether it was done intentionally or not, but it made live so chaotic and difficult Every. Single. Day.

kathy a. said...

PK, the notebooks are a small thing in the scheme -- and maybe this will prod the kids to keep better track of their own!

But I am really glad that you do not live with that chaos in the house every day, any longer. It's bad enough that he continues this destructive and contentious approach -- but your own home now is safer, and yours. xoxox

esperanza said...

Y'all, I'm heartbroken. My little buddy Waylon, with the neuroblastoma, got bad news today. One of the lesions in his brain has tripled in size in the past 6 weeks. Surgery is an option--a risky one, but for the first time the doctors offered his parents the "do nothing" option. He's happy and having no symptoms. They are just devastated. They're going to talk to the surgeons next week.

Anonymous said...

((((((esperanza)))))) ((((((Waylon)))))) and prayers.
--NL

kathy a. said...

((( Esperanza ))) ((( Waylon and his family )))

I'm so sorry, and sending so much love.

Some cancers are just especially bad, and this is one. While surgery is an option -- it could cause lifelong brain damage by itself, will mean a long and hard recovery, and the chances are that the cancer will come back anyway. Waylon's doctors did not offer the "no aggressive treatment" option lightly -- pediatric oncologists just do not do that. A real question that Waylon's family needs to consider is what quality of life they want him to have, given this horrible news. xoxo

I wouldn't be so bold with these thoughts had my adopted nephew not also suffered a pediatric brain cancer (medulablastoma), and been through everything there was before his oncologist held a team and family meeting, saying really there was no more to be done, and suggesting palliative care. The doc invited me as a family support person. It was the most heartbreaking but also the kindest thing the doc could have done. xoxo

Queen of West Procrastination said...

So many hugs, esperanza, for Waylon and his family, and for you guys. So many hugs and prayers.

kathy a. said...

My adopted nephew was 12 when he died. And he was aware to some extent that he would not have a very long life. His Buddhist minister was one of the people supporting Alexander, and what they talked about included Alexander saying he wanted to *live* the life he had.

And really, he did. His abilities waned, but he still enjoyed being with people he loved, doing fun things at home. He had hated all the time in the hospital, and suffered so much from the many, many procedures.

xoxo

Anonymous said...

((kathy)) Alexander's decision to *live* life while he could is an inspiration.
--NL

kathy a. said...

Alexander was a really great kid. His favorite color was blue. His birthday was September 12. His friends made him 1000 origami cranes, for peace and love.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Many hugs for you, Kathy. xoxo

kathy a. said...

Mostly, hugs for Waylon and his family and friends. xoxox

kathy a. said...

It has been pouring rain today! Over one inch so far today, which is pretty enormous for our area, particularly after 5 years of drought. Guess fire season is really over!

esperanza said...

I'm exhausted. Lunch with a friend who has lost, in 2016: her job, one of her best friends, her mom, and her dad. For real, 2016. Then the news about little Waylon. Then Mini was being an unreasonable, argumentative brat from 3:00 on. I am handing her over to Daddy for the rest of the evening. I'm on the verge of tears already.

esperanza said...

W: And I made a terrible supper. It was bad.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Hugs hugs hugs, esperanza. What a rough day.

kathy a. said...

((( Esperanza )))

Anonymous said...

((((((esperanza))))))
--NL

Liz Miller said...

Sending love and hugs to you, Esperanza

esperanza said...

Thanks, y'all. I found out the news about Waylon after the marathon lunch with grieving friend and shortly before the Baboos arrived home. No time for introvert processing. Sweet and Mini both fell asleep early, so I'm doing a bit better. Thanks for being here.

p_k said...

Hugs, so sorry for the sad news.

I have an AW today.

Even with as horrific as this week has been, and my feeling worse than I have in months . . . Even with all that, I had an appointment with my physical therapist today to get assessed again for the first time since just after the separation, and I have dramatically, measurably improved in my physical health. I have normal or nearly normal range of motion, strength and endurance in every area he tested. 6 months ago I did not. Dramatic improvements in my fibromy@lgia impact questionnaire, too.

kathy a. said...

Oh, that IS good news, PK!

p_k said...

It's particularly good that it's measurable, documentable improvement, since STBX'S main argument for why I should have the kids more and he should have them less is that my health issues supposedly render me "unable to parent."

p_k said...

Anonymous, your post made me think of this (breaking the link--you'll need to remove the space before the dot): visionarywomanhood .com/sign-of-emotionally-abusive-relationship/

p_k said...

Also, I meant to put that the other way around . . . STBX says that because of my health issues the kids should be with him more and me less.

Anonymous said...

p_k Nice to have proof that instead you should be with the kids more and with HIM less.
--NL

Miranda said...

So sorry to hear about Waylon. Many prayers and hugs for his family. And Alexander is an inspiration.

My thoughts have turned to how I can be a force of love in this world. How do I maintain my values and advocate for others? There is so much contention in the world and closer to me. Work, chunky committee work, family. I need to find my state of zen and love. The lack of sun doesn't help.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

PK: I'm so glad that you had a good report from your PT. I suspect that the removal of your major stressor (STBX) from your home has allowed your body a chance to do some healing, and that you have documented proof of physical improvement to debunk his claims.

Small whine: the combination of the remnants of sickness and the foolish food I ate resulted in me waking up in the middle of the night with stomach pain and reflux, and unable to fall asleep again for a couple of hours. The extra trouble with that is that, when I am awake for long stresses in the night (and particularly when I get anxious about it), I end up somewhat queasy in the morning. I'm dealing with some mild nausea right now, and don't really want to slow down today (and am REALLY hoping that this isn't a sign I'm getting sicker again), because a dear friend of mine is coming to visit for the weekend, with her two kids. We haven't seen each other in a couple of years, and I really don't want to cancel at the last minute (especially because a lot of our visits have been cancelled at the last minute, especially several years ago, when her marriage -- which SEEMS to be doing better lately after some drastic changes -- was checking some of the boxes in the list PK posted above.)

Okay, maybe a bit of the source of my anxiety tummy is remnant worry about her.

Much lighter AW: we received a very nice present in the mail from a dear friend who lives in Sue's city! And then we felt a bit guilty about how the package we sent her earlier was so small compared to what she sent (and was more of a birthday present), AND she is always being this thoughtful whereas we're usually not nearly as thoughtful. I thought it would be too late to get anything to her by Christmas, but I had a brainwave: she's an avid quilter (and involved with stuff for quilters in Sue City), and is always sending people thoughtful quilted gifts (including a beloved blanket that is on E's bed). I found a nice-looking fabric store in her city, which specialises in quilting supplies, and sent them an email, asking about gift certificates. The owner just got back to me, and not only is she able to sell me a gift certificate and send it to my friend, but she's offered to drop it in my friend's mailbox! (Now, my friend lives in an apartment, and so maybe mailing would be easier, and should arrive before Christmas.) I'm so pleased! I might finally manage to surprise my friend!

esperanza said...

I hope things in the tummy department calm down, QWP.

PK, it's good to have objective verification that you have made the right decisions and changes in your life.

I'm currently sitting here, charging up my metaphorical batteries so I can go volunteer at Sweet's holiday party at school. (She's getting preferential treatment because I accompanied Mini on her school field trip earlier this semester. I think I explained this in a way that satisfied Mini, but I'm sure it will arise in some list of grievances at a later date). I'm also hoping that they can behave well enough after school that we can go to our town's Trail of Lights this evening while it is warm. We've got today and tomorrow, and then QWP's and Sue's cold air comes to Texas.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh, that's where all our cold weather is going! It's supposed to warm up here quite a bit, by the end of the weekend. I'm happy to share, esperanza! ;)

Current theory about the nausea: it hit as the decongestants wore off last night. I feel better when I put warm stuff on my sinuses and under my ears. I suspect this is dizziness nausea. I'm heading back to bed for a while, with kids' shows entertaining E.

esperanza said...

This really belongs with yesterday's cavalcade of whining from me: I have a spaghetti injury. I'll bet you didn't know that was possible. I was trying to scrape up a dried piece of spaghetti out of the bottom of the pot, and it poked under my thumbnail. It hurts today. Wah.

QWP, no getting sick! I hope your sinuses cooperate.

Liz Miller said...

(((PK))) Happy about the PT report, am here to advocate for your kids to take responsibility for their own darned school work. That ANY parent got it to them at all, late or no, should be seen as a favor to them. *BACKGROUND* I was in joint custody for 14 years, starting from age 4. Switch-overs on Wednesdays and Saturdays. It was MY responsibility to make sure I had what I needed for the next three days, be it schoolwork or other stuff. My dad and step-mother were NOT okay with me coming to their house without calling first when it wasn't their days to have me, and there was no way they would have brought stuff to school for me.

(((QWP))) I hope you feel better soon.

Sue said...

I had a long day yesterday, and didn't check in here before bed time.

((((esperanza)))) ((((Waylon and family)))))

I'm glad to hear about the PT report, pk!

QWP, that's so great about the gift certificate for your friend!! How's that for warm customer service in a very chilly city??! I hope the tummy trouble eases up soon.

Old Skool for esperanza for an unfortunate spaghetti injury. Ouchie!!!

AW: I didn't have to be in the office this morning, so I didn't set my alarm. I woke up at 8:00 and thought "I should get up and do stuff." Then I opened my eyes two hours later. Wow, did I ever need that sleep! I'm feeling much more human today.

kathy a. said...

Miranda, hear ya.

QWP, hope you're feeling better! Yes, your quilting friend will love the gift.

Seconding the nomination of Esperanza for old skool!

Sue, yay for extra sleep!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, PK. He apologized later that same day and has been washing his hands since.

kathy a. said...

Yay, Anonymous!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I'm glad that your husband has apologized and is washing hands, anonymous.

Esperanza, I understand exactly what you mean about the spaghetti injury (I've done it before, myself), and that is a perfect Old Skool whine.

AW: I purchased the gift certificate from the store in Sue City, and they were so helpful! And I had it so that my friend could pick it up there, and it turned out that she was going there tomorrow anyway! Success!

esperanza said...

I'm so glad that I'm not the only person ever to have a spaghetti injury. It sounds so ridiculous, but it kind of hurts!

W: After Sweet's Christmas party, I feel the need to wash my hands a lot. YUCK. I don't know how they aren't all sick all the time.
AW: She has really turned the corner as far as socializing well. I was really proud of her.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Esperanza: I'm surprised they aren't sick all the time, too! The kids in E's class are sick constantly. (Including her, and by extension, me!) Well done, Sweet! I'm so glad that she's doing so well, especially after the big move. <3

Queen of West Procrastination said...

AW: my fiendish plan is coming into effect. We traditionally have an extra pre-Christmas celebration on the 23rd, and have a bunch of Norwegian stuff. (Well, our family Up North has a party on whatever day is available for everyone, but it's all stuff we traditionally have on the 23rd.) When we lived Out West, Mr. Q and I would invite all our friends in the area to come and celebrate with us, and we'd cram into our tiny basement suite, and it was the best. So, now we're back home, and I've persuaded my family to let me host the 23rd, and now I've invited a bunch of friends as well, and am turning it into a party. (We usually invite extras anyway, but I knew that since I was hosting, I could cast the net a little wider.) We'll actually have most of the friends who crammed into the basement suite Out West, because most of us have moved back to the prairies lately!

Now. I just need to NOT BE SICK for a while. C'mon, body. Cooperate for once.

esperanza said...

QWP, take heart. Sweet, and to a lesser extent Mini, were always sick in preschool. Constant drippy noses. It is much better now that they are older and immune systems stronger. They have each missed only a day of school this semester. In kindergarten, Sweet missed 14 days that year, which was on the borderline for receiving a reprimand for truancy!

Your party sounds fun. I've often wanted to invite people with no families nearby over for a holiday, but we are both so fried from work by Christmas morning that we never have.

kathy a. said...

Yes, the sickness becomes much less of a constant visitor in time, because everybody has infected everybody so much in the preschool years that they mostly have GREAT immune systems!

I did a run to the supermarket, and one more time, it was a steaming mess with lines a mile long, people blocking the aisles when they just could have scooted over a couple feet to wait, etc. And the only bottle of hydrogen peroxide in the store was in a locked cabinet! So I decided to take my disinfectant needs to a more reasonable place, because the last time I tried to use the cabinet, it took forever to get someone out there with a key.

kathy a. said...

AW: the checker and the bagger admired my pizza selections, for tonight's dinner. LOL! I was pleased to snag a nice roast for Christmas (which I will freeze until a day or 2 before).

Liz Miller said...

I can't believe I forgot to mention that Muffin Man is home sick with a sore throat (test for strep and flu negative).

We scanned his math homework to email to his teacher...she replied that she, too, is home with a sore throat.

His best friend texted him to ask him to record their history class today because she...is home sick with a sore throat.

AW: We watched The Breakfast Club.
W: He thought the whole movie was very weird.

kathy a. said...

Yikes, Liz! (My generalization about immunities obviously does not apply universally...)

Could the different era have affected his feeling of weirdness? I guess the styles and customs of 30 years ago don't resonate the way they might have at the time. Not to mention, pop culture of the 80's WAS weird even at the time Did you do simultaneous translation? :)

Liz Miller said...

I did do a bit. Also, wow is there ever a lot of anti-gay language in that movie.

Also, Molly Ringwald's hair. Folks, the continuity person was NOT doing their job.

The school nurse says the whole school is dropping like flies, she's never seen anything like it.

kathy a. said...

About the anti-gay language -- yes, that is an area of culture that has experienced a massive change in 30 years. The movie was what, 1985? And AIDS/HIV had only recently been identified. Harvey Milk was assassinated in SF city hall just a few years earlier. There were truly large shifts in public understanding and in policy after that, many occurring in just the last decade.

Yikes about teh school plague! Hope everything settles down, and fast.

esperanza said...

Mini had a non-strep sore throat/fever virus a couple of months ago. No idea what it was, but she felt pretty crummy for a couple of days or three. Hope MM feels better quickly.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

That's what's going around here: non-strep fever/sore throat. Every kid around has had it, and thankfully it's short lived. But it took up residence in my sinuses, as everything loves to do.

AW: we're having a lovely visit here, and my health is rallying. I was able to eat a normal supper and everything. And my friend's boys are such sweethearts, and so gentle with smaller kids, and so E is in kid heaven.

kathy a. said...

Sounds like a wonderful visit, QWP!

The tree is up and lighted! I honestly don't care if we spend several days adding an ornament here, an ornament there. The cats are enjoying hiding under there; no untoward feline behavior so far. :)

My friend is having an adventure. Her husband has a dementia similar to my SIL's, and it has gotten overwhelming, so she decided to place him in a facility after the holidays, and chose the best one. Her daughters are bitterly opposed, think he's not that bad, she's just being selfish -- it's been a tense and disappointing situation.

Well, someone from the facility came to do an assessment to decide which "house" was right for him, and -- they decided his behavior is more than they can handle! I guess the daughters can't blame her for this objective assessment, which included observing his behavior; maybe they will re-think their condemnation. Anyway, she is off to tour another place that might be better suited.

kathy a. said...

Placement decisions tend to be fraught. Everybody's got an opinion. Often there is guilt involved. But in my opinion, a disease like this doesn't have to take two people down. A facility is staffed; everybody gets to go home at the end of a shift. It is designed to provide safety, stability, a regular schedule; and a good place has staff who really get to know the people in their care, help them feel comfortable.

My friend has tried so hard, but she cannot keep her husband safe at home. He needs to go to his mother's house 1.5 miles away, 3 to 5 times a day, and will just take off -- and he can't watch for traffic on the busy streets between. He will not wait for anything; has zero patience. If he wants food now, it does not register if he ate 1/2 hour ago. He has been aggressive with his wife; and she has had to go on medication herself, quit a volunteer job she enjoyed, sentence herself to never leaving him alone. She tried a carer, a young man they have known all his life, and her husband tried to run him off 4 times in an hour. His idea of "love" includes thumping grandkids and dogs on the head, to the point they cry -- and he thinks they like it -- so he was not allowed anywhere near the newborn grandbaby. It has been very difficult.

xoxo

Anonymous said...

(((Kathy a's friend)))) and ((((kathy)))
So good that she has you to talk to, and that you understand so well what she is going through.
--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

Thanks, NL! xoxo

esperanza said...

W: I accompanied Mini to a roller skating birthday party today. I feel like I was the one skating. Holding up 60 pounds of flailing first grader is not so easy on the back, or thighs, or arms. Poor baby fell so many times anyway. It was not as much fun as she thought it would be. Also, skating rinks look exactly like they did 35 years ago, and the bathrooms are gross.

kathy a. said...

Hmm. I never did figure out roller skating, personally....

Well, the place my friend checked out looked good, she put down the deposit, and everybody else is starting to fall in line. KNOCK WOOD!

W: my main computer is dying, so I spent a lot of today trying to fix things, getting this laptop back up to shape, and AW: got all my important stuff backed up! So, computer hospital next week.

And of course, W: there is some kind of backup suddenly with the garbage disposal, sink, and dishwasher consortium. Which, AW: my sweetie has been working on, and it seems best to just stay out of the way for this part of the festivities.

I think tomorrow, I will start dusting under the decorations already put out, and try wrapping some presents. And flee if anything else goes on with the sink situation.

esperanza said...

It's Christmas week at the double-preacher household, so what does that mean? Yes, indeedy, a sick baboo. Sweet seems to be coming down with something. No fever, bad headache, sneezing, moderate snot. Any ideas?

Anonymous said...

sinus infection? Or allergies?
Hope she feels better soon!
--NL

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Poor Sweet!

W: my heeeeead. The temperature has swung from wind chills around -40 (same in both Celsius and Fahrenheit) last night to just below freezing now. HUGE swing. I've been hovering close to a migraine all afternoon.

kathy a. said...

Line up some backup for just in case, esperanza! And meanwhile, whatever you use for pain relief (kids' advil?), lotsa tissues, extra video time. xoxoxo

Liz Miller said...

Does Sweet have a sore throat? Because other than the headache, that sounds like what MM has.

esperanza said...

Yes, she said she did, as she went to bed. The snot is not so much that I'd think sinus infection, though it could be draining down her throat. But no fever, either. She's been sleeping for a couple of hours, and hopefully she'll be better in the morning.

It could be allergies, too. We had a 40 degree temperature swing from yesterday's high to today's high, super strong winds, heater running a lot, etc.

kathy a. said...

That is an enormous change in temps, Esperanza! And yeah, running the heater more also means indoor conditions might be dustier -- plus too dry. If you still have a humidifier around, that might help. xoxo

kathy a. said...

A sore throat might be (ymmv) a combo of drier indoor conditions, cold outdoor conditions, dust and stuff in the indoor air, and snotty runoff in the throat. Tea and honey; humidifiers; even boiling water on the stove to un-dry the air might help tamp things down.