It's Monday; Li'l E is at preschool, and I am at home. It was a rocky morning, getting her ready (worsened by the headache she has, after she fell off the potty last night, and hit her head on a wooden stool: no signs of concussion so far, but her head is sore, and she's a bit cranky). She was already in a mood yesterday, and cried about: wanting to take home an electric billboard, and put it in our living room in the place of our TV; not wanting to take off her outside shoes when she was inside; the fact that the jewel sticker that she'd just put on her stuffed kitty's nose would someday fall off; that she was too tired to eat pizza (no kidding, kid). But she was cheerful when I got her to school, and now that I've hauled a thousand pounds of playdough with us on our walk to school (I did it, you guys! I made all the playdough for the preschoolers!), I'm going to spend this precious hour and a half sitting very quietly, with my feet at, staring at the wall. (Okay, I'm also making banana bread for future preschool snacks, but it's in the oven now, and I definitely won't do any more work while E is away.)
How are you all doing?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
72 comments:
Continuing from last week: Liz, I'm so sorry that you're receiving horrifying threats. You report them in addition to blocking them, right? (Not that Twitter has ANY positive track record for dealing with threats.)
Reported, yes. Particularly the one that retweeted the picture I posted of my son on the first day of school this year.
I'm glad you've got your feet up, QWP. So sorry about E's adventures in crankiness, may a good night's sleep fix that for both of you.
Liz, that is completely horrifying. I hope that Twitter follows through on that.
That is horrifying, Liz.
QWP, I'm in the same mode this morning. Company departed at 6:15 am. Baboos departed at 7 am. I went back to sleep for a little while.
W: there are many whines about the company (Mr. E's family members), but I'm perhaps most annoyed about new sister-in-law's repeated comments on my height. She's 6'1" and I am 5'2". So fireplacing what?
(((Esperanza))) You're still a giant compared to me :D But may I recommend this approach? "You keep making comments on my height, am I supposed to feel inferior in some way? Am I supposed to feel looked down on by you simply because you physically have to look down to see me? Because it's gotten really tiresome to hear and I'd like you to stop."
(((QWP))) Staring at the wall sounds like a good plan.
Liz, that's horrifying.
esperanza - what Liz said. I get the "short jokes" all the time. So tiresome.
W: I cannot help my snarkiness re: mindfulness. For the ten-gazillionth time, someone told me that mindfulness would DEFINITELY cure my migraines, I managed to not entirely lose my sh*t. For the record, if mindfulness can cure a neurological disorder, then it can also cure diabetes and cancer, so go ahead mindfulness-gurus...make my day.
I do get that it's good for relaxation, and that's always a good thing, but dang...mindfulness proponents can be like religious zealots trying to invite me to join a cult.
Liz, how awful. Threats of any kind are completely unacceptable; and so is anything involving one's kid.
Esperanza, I dunno what the SIL thought she was doing with the jokes. Know that my friend who is 6'2" is self-conscious -- how many "how's the weather up there?" jokes can one hear in a lifetime? Maybe you just need to ignore the comments until she gets tired of hearing herself? (Count me as a member of the lower altitude club.)
Sue, ready to saddle up the posse for all the buttinskis with completely uninformed advice. Mindfulness. Huh.
After 17 hours of travel-related activity, we got home a couple hours ago. It was a lovely trip! Except, my ankles swelled up like beach balls on the flight back -- not kidding, it was bizarre -- but think they are settling down. Didn't sleep much last night, and there is some serious jet lag brewing (the morning location is 9 hours ahead), but will stick it out until a normalish bed-time.
Hope everybody is feeling more rested up tomorrow!
AW: Daughter was great about managing the household, and also she has some new things going on! W: Except, there were a few accidents that I guess she didn't notice, probably because the main ones were under the bed. AW: Fortunately, my beloved has a lot of energy to burn off after sitting still for so long, so he has tackled that.
kathy a: unsolicited advice re: ankles. Elevate them above your heart for maximum deflation. Yes, you'll look idiotic. Who cares?
Re: sis in law: I have very little interest in developing/maintaining this relationship. She is wife #5 of Mr. E's brother, and I grow weary of getting to know new sisters-in-law. I don't really expect her to last long, as they are continuing to follow the pattern set by marriages #1-#4. I think she just didn't know what to say, so she commented on my height. Whatevs.
I'm glad you had a good trip, kathy! Good advice from esperanza re: puffy footies. Raise them up and you'll be good as new in no time.
Oh boy, do I ever want to send cluesticks to esperanza's SIL and to anyone suggesting that mindfulness would cure Sue's migraines. Sure, there's evidence that SPECIFIC TYPES of chronic pain can be somewhat managed that way, but migraines really don't fall in that category, and they're so much more than pain! (Sorry for preaching to the choir: it's just SO asinine that it makes me mad.)
(And the only cases where height jokes are acceptable are when they're done mutually within relationship, like my two friends, one of whom is 6'8", and the other of whom is around 5', and they joke collectively about how they are fun together. But that's laughing together, instead of laughing at, y'know?)
Right. And this was the second time I'd met her. Brother in law has tons of problems, and she is just one of them. Needless to say, I wasn't sad to see them leave this morning.
W: First sickness of the school year. Sweet is running a fever. So we're off to the new pediatrician tomorrow, and she feels bad enough she didn't whine about yet another "new" experience. I suspect ear infection.
Oh, poor little Sweet! (And this was only the SECOND time you've met the new sister-in-law, and she's acting like that? So, this is her best behaviour? Yikes.)
W: new class pet is a bearded dragon, and it requires live crickets. A lot of them. I went and bought some tonight, and in the car they were skittering around in there holder, creeping me out.
AW: at least neither the lizard nor the crickets live in our home.
Aw, poor Sweet. I hope the fever and infection clear up quickly.
QWP - you are brave indeed. The bearded dragon I could handle, but feeding it live things, not so much. Especially creepy buggy things.
AW: I'm off to our annual fall chunky meeting on Thursday. It's about a five hour drive each way, so I got a car wash. Now my passengers will think I never have coffee cups and scraps of random note paper all over my car.
W: I'm looking forward to the meeting in many ways. It's a beautiful drive with the leaves changing, good to catch up with friends from the region... but I've been having weird social anxiety moments. I went to a funeral yesterday for someone I've known for many years. He was 94, had a great life, the service was lovely - all good. I couldn't stay in the hall for the tea. So many people, so much noise, and I swear the ceiling got lower by minute. That garbage-room scene from star w@rs came to mind... ick. So I left, but darn it. Anyway, fingers crossed for a better weekend.
Hope that Sweet is feeling better!
QWP -- Weird but true: a person can get used to both the unusual pet and the crickets. So long as they stay in their places.
Sue, hope the chunky meeting is good. The scenic drive with friends sounds nice, too!
Close, crowded, loud -- the circumstances of that tea don't sound comfortable. But they also don't sound like an atmosphere anybody would plan for a serious meeting, so I hope there are no stressball moments this weekend.
AW: Held off on sleep until a semi-reasonable bedtime; slept over 8 hours; woke all chipper and ready to go! Bonus: Senior cat snuggled on in by legs and feet. And: My ankles are almost nermal again.
I am here to tell you, you get used to the crickets. Took two weeks.
Sue, I get that claustrophobic feeling sometimes, too. Used to be if I was in a crowded subway car just before my period started. Now it happens when I've got the onset of a hot flash and I'm in a crowded noisy place. It feels like I can't breathe and I'm going to pass out. So I'm wondering if the anxiety was only a small portion and that your body wasn't regulating temperature very well? Physical more than mental (NO MINDFULNESS NECESSARY!)?
I find that carrying a fan with me and using it liberally not just when I feel HOT FLASHY but also when I feel closed in helps a lot. Partly because, when I use it, people tend to make a hole for me as I'm using a polite signal that I need some space.
Esperanza, I'm still shaking your head at your SIL. Reminds me of that scene in Hope Floats where the nasty woman from high school is upset about the wedding photos being ruined and Birdie says, "Hasn't she been married 5 times?" and the woman says, "They all had very different NAMES."
And I hope Sweet has a speed recovery.
Kathy, FEET UP. Check in with your doctor if you've got any pain or numbness.
Genius idea for creating space, Liz! Although I'm generally overheated in cramped spaces, too.
International fan report: I was far from the only person who pulled out a folding fan as needed! Most of the museums also sold fans, probably because even those larger spaces can get quite warm with all the crowds. Super handy in airport lines (somehow, the airports have not caught on; so people are forced to fan with travel documents and etc.).
There were about 250 people in the hall yesterday and we're expecting roughly 100 for the weekend event, so already it promises to be better. The time when it gets loud, close, and chaotic is during meals. Lots of chatter, not enough room between tables, a long line to get the food, etc... A bit of strategic planning will help, like waiting on the perimeter until everyone else has gone through the line and finding a seat that allows me to get up and leave without asking an entire table to move their chairs.
Liz, that's an interesting possibility re: my body regulating temperature. I hadn't considered it, but actually yes, the room was sweltering. Hmm...
Sue -- finding a seat with an escape route is a great strategy! Also, waiting until the line is less crowded.
Liz -- I definitely have temp control problems. It's not necessarily a hot flash; at this point, I run hotter than some other people, and get overheated easily.
According to Google, scholarly journals say that a) aging worsens the ability to regulate temperature and b) lack of sleep also worsens the ability to regulate temperature. I know that you, Sue, were complaining about sleep issues recently, so that may also be a contributing factor.
Still hurting on the sleep front, so there you go.
AW: My son recommended an app that helps you go to sleep. I had doubts, but it has stopped the racing thoughts and lulled me to sleep for two nights in row. It's called "Sleep With Me" and it's basically a bed time story. I listened to "Game of Dr@ones" - a recap of GoT that isn't really much of a recap, but it's just enough to keep your brain away from All The Things, and the reader's voice is very conducive to sleeping. I'm impressed!
I understand that closing-in feeling, Sue. I've been dealing with it a lot (believe it or not, mostly when I'm trapped in the small bathroom with an unreasonable preschooler), and it seems to be worse when I'm dealing with headache/preliminary migraine symptoms. I'm glad that there will be fewer at these chunky meetings, and that you're already planning escape strategies.
Mixed W and AW: I'm babysitting E's twin friends this morning, which is good for her (she's getting too used to not having to share the home toys), and also tiring. The first stretch was stressful, as E was mad at them for playing with her toys wrong, and so we had some time in her room together, talking about how she feels at their house when they try to control how she plays with their toys, and how she has really wanted them to come for a visit. She then went and apologized to them, and they've been playing nicely since. So: learning and growing. They're all playing together in the basement now, and I'm avoiding going down there, to give myself a break. They seem to be mostly fine.
Good work, Mama Q! Great outcome on the learning to play together. We found that it was actually easier to have extra kids over; keeps everyone busy, and visiting kids nearly always behave decently while visiting.
Count me in on the trapped/can't breathe/sweaty anxiety moments, too.
A totally bizarre trick that has been helping me sleep lately: Go through the alphabet, and think of food that begins with each letter. Or, for when my monkey brain is worse than usual, make it more difficult by limiting it to fruit or veggies or the spice aisle. I've never made it all the way to Z, and I'm usually out by J or K. I have no idea why it works, but I read it somewhere, and tried it out.
QWP gets a Brave Mama Award for babysitting twin friends.
AW, mostly: new pediatrician's office was good, and Sweet responded mostly appropriately to questions. (Sometimes she is just silent, or whines nonverbally). No ear infection. Fever was from a cold virus. So basically, suck it up till it gets better.
Yay Mama Q! Good work!
That sounds like a good technique esperanza! Yay on the pediatrician visit. Go Sweet!
Cannoli the anole died. We were wondering why he wasn't eating the crickets he'd been fed a week ago, and why we hadn't seen him clinging to the side for a few days and found him...decaying. Possibly nibbled on by crickets, though we are pretty sure they weren't the cause of death.
Next pet we get will not have a diet of still-living creatures.
Oh no, Cannoli the anole! (But I hear you about the still-living food. I miss the school's previous reptile, who was an obligate herbivore, who mostly ate kale and spinach. Best reptile.)
Aw, sorry about Cannoli, Liz. :(
RIP, Cannoli.
AW: after I sent a complaint to a pen company, because the last package of pen I bought was terrible, they sent me an envelope full of pen samples! 14 pens (including 4 of the same kind I had before, to replace the duds), and 7 mechanical pencils. I am pleased.
W: tonight, Mr. Q leaves for the high school retreat, and won't be back until late Friday afternoon. E is already anxious about time away from him, with his night classes. I don't know how the next few days will go, with him entirely away.
Yay for good customer service!
QWP -- The daddy anxiety will ease as the year moves along. Is there something special you two can do? Would small outings distract her? Would she be interested in making something for Daddy as a gift? (Arts and crafts make great gifts! Or, would she like to make up a story for him?)
Kathy: the night classes are extending the daddy anxiety longer into September than I'm accustomed to! I'm coming up with a list of things to do to reassure her, but I'm finding that the more we talk about Mr. Q, the more anxious she gets. The good thing is that we have our first day of swimming lessons tomorrow, and so that should be a good distraction.
QWP, I found with MM at that age that having a slightly different routine for our nights alone than the routine when Daddy was home was comforting for him. I don't remember exactly what all we did, but it included some favorite foods Daddy didn't enjoy, and listening to some of the music I really loved as a kid that got on Daddy's nerves (I'm talking Free To Be You And Me; Peter Paul and Mommy; and Pete Seeger's Children's Concert at Town Hall.)
QWP, over the summer, I got a fancy new mop, just by emailing to ask how to buy a replacement part. And a new knife, because mine had a lifetime guarantee. It's fun to get free stuff! (Side note: it is perfectly ok to mail a knife in the mail, according to my friendly post office clerk).
AW: Within two hours yesterday evening, I received TWO invitations to interview for church positions. One was expected, and one was a surprise. Both part time, very different settings and complications.
W: I did not sleep much last night, because my head was spinning.
W: I think I've decided to say no to the surprise one, but I can't make myself make the phone call yet, so am I really ready to say no?
Woot, Esperanza! You just got the invites last night. I think it's OK in most settings to take a few days to think. Even if you probably don't want the surprise one, it sounds like you're not ready to say no yet.
I love my family so much. Had a wonderful time on vacation with my sweetie. But -- two entire days this week so far when I have had alone time while everybody's working! Probably I should have done more with them, but...
Kathy: alone time! Wonderful.
Esperanza: I agree with Kathy that it seems like a good idea to let the surprise invitation settle in before you say no, even just so that you don't have later doubts about that no. (Not that I think you should take it: I just know that it sometimes helps to let things sit for a couple of days.)
W: my anxiety was at a high today. I had a bad sleep last night, and I know that played a big part. Mr. Q is leaving for the retreat tonight, and I know that I was anxious about that as well. And E was a bit more clingy (since she was anticipating her daddy going away), and I was not handling being touched continually by a squirmy creature. I lost my patience with her, for foolish reasons, a few times. I worked on all of my self-care tactics through the day (and remembered to use my SAD lamp, since it is now autumn, and it was cloudy today), and let E watch extra TV in the afternoon, to give myself a chance to shower and to lay down. Bless the inventor of the television.
AW: after Mr. Q got home in the afternoon, I sent him and E outside to dig carrots for supper, and during that time I caught a little cat nap. It could only have been a few minutes long, but it helped so much. And now E is in bed, and my parents are coming over tomorrow afternoon to help out. (I might convince the to stay for supper, since I made the most outrageously large pot roast tonight, and we'll be living on leftovers for days.) (Side note: E also was less squirmy and high-strung by bedtime because I managed to get her to get out all her poo into the potty. She hadn't gone for days! Now, if only I could get her trained to the point where she goes regularly, and not twice a week when she reaches the point where she can't hold it in any longer.) (But: progress! We're now at two weeks of her being clean and dry all the time, even at night.)
Hooray for potty training progress! Even at night! Go, E!
QWP, I apparently have a much higher need for personal space than Mini does. She can not stop touching me sometimes. Makes me bananas.
Re: interviews. I said to myself, "If I told First Option no, and then didn't get Surprise Option job, would I regret that I had let First Option go?" Answer to that was yes, I would regret it. I then asked myself the reverse, and the answer was a clear "no." I would not regret telling Surprise Option no. So I did. Now I'm working on official paperwork, which includes some essay questions, for Option One.
Esperanza: that's incredibly wise logic that you used there!
It was handy when the answer to the logic fit in with my gut intuition as well :)
W: I feel old. First leg cramp last night. Ouch! Now hearing wisdom on prevention of same.
This has been a heavy week. My oldest is missing. We suspect jail but we can't find him on the locators. My daughter has a surgery date. Work has been awful. A girl my daughter used to play with was killed by a family member in a heavily publicized shooting.
I'm trying to take life five minutes at a time today - an important skill I learned while nursing my youngest when the act of caring for him made me wince and cry.
M
((( M ))) How awful! Oh, that is too much. I hope that your eldest turns out to be OK. And that daughter's surgery goes well.
Unspeakable about daughter's friend.
xoxoxo
((((M)))) so many hugs.
Oh mercy, M. That is all too much to handle. Holding hope for you.
Oh, M. So many, many hugs. We're standing with you. Just too much (and I know you've had too much already).
(((((((((((M)))))))))))
So much love and so many hugs.
Hoping your oldest is found quickly safe and sound. So sorry about her friend.
Hope that the surgery will be successful
one step at a time sounds like a good plan.
Wish we could do more to help.
Hugs and love,
Neighbor Lady
W: I keep thinking I've heard it all, there is no more outrage left regarding this election. And yet. Apparently, continued outragousness is the forecast until Nov. 8, and possibly thereafter.
((((M)))) thinking of you. Sending love and strength.
In much more minor whines, E and I did so poorly yesterday afternoon and evening that I started off today by apologizing to my child. After she went to bed last night, I started reviewing all the things that went wrong, and I kept realising how many of them were ultimately my fault (or that I overreacted). (Okay, temporarily confiscating her piggy bank because she scratched up the paint on her walls with a coin was not an overreaction. Nor was taking away her little launching car until I could train her how to use it safely today, since she shot it at my dad's face. But there were plenty of other things that happened that were mostly because I wasn't focused on helping her do well, and then got upset when things didn't go right.)
AW: Mr. Q comes home in a few hours.
No update. Mom and I talked about learning how to cope with the unknown. It's taking a lot of energy to stay calm.
AW: Seeing good friends this weekend who don't know about everything going on for the marriage of mutual friends. Beloved is going too. She is a rock. I keep apologizing for probably being a terrible date this weekend (we are going a few hours away)
Many thanks for the kind words.
((((((M)))))))) Thanks for keeping us updated, and we're thinking about you and your family, friend. It sounds like your mother is being a help for you, and I'm so glad to hear that. I hope that you get some rest this weekend, and that it's restorative for you.
((( M ))) Fingers still crossed. Sounds like a wonderful talk with your mom. xoxo
QWP -- Don't beat yourself up too badly about not making everysingle moment go smoothly. NONE of us can do that! The time-out-type actions you took were perfectly reasonable. You will not always be there to smooth every last everything; and it is OK if we love our kids to bits but are just human. There will be times when you cannot anticipate and smooth everything; and that is OK, really. xoxo
(((((M))))))
QWP, you know what I see? I see you modeling how to recognize when you're in the wrong and how to apologize for it. I think that's more important than being perfect all the time.
Strive for perfection, settle for good enough, and apologize when good enough...isn't.
Complete first world spoiled brat whine: I left the house for 20 minutes yesterday, and missed the UPS delivery on something that needs a signature. So today, I have gone nowhere. It is 4:30 p.m., and no UPS guy in sight.
Kathy: every time! Every single time, with UPS!
W: my whole day was derailed by lower back and hip pain. I think I pulled something yesterday.
The UPS guy never came. 12 hours, trapped in the house. Now they say Monday. My beloved promises not to buy wine for shipment any more.
Daughter's taking the LSAT today!
And they don't have a UPS store where you can just go and pick it up? That's just the worst. At least, with Canada Post, when they miss you (if they need a signature), they just take it to your nearest post office at the end of the day.
Crossed appendages for Daughter!
They can apparently take it to a UPS store, but someone needs to tell them to do that. SIGH. Or miss two delivery attempts. I am not going to worry if there are places to go on Monday.
QWP, hope you're feeling better today!
W: Sweet shared her cold germs with me.
W: I am sicker than she appeared to be: stuffed up head, incessantly watering eyes, beginnings of a cough. Yuck. And this is *with* meds.
UGH. May you feel better fast.
Thanks, Liz. I tried the Hillary method yesterday, and carried on with my plans to drive to Big D for a bloggy meetup. Loads of fun. Drove back this morning, and since I arrived back home, I've tried the Man Cold method of treatment. I'll let you know if I feel any better tomorrow after sitting on my butt all day today. :)
Bloggy meetup! Fun! I hope that this cold gets better quickly, esperanza.
W: still feeling under the weather. I'm starting to worry that I'm actually getting sick, and that this isn't just my back.
I hope YOU feel better soon, QWP.
Yay, bloggy meetup!
Boo, cold. But I adore the "man-cold" method of self-treatment. ;)
QWP, some butt on couch treatment might be in order for you, too.
Thinking of M, and hoping things are better.
I've been thinking about M a lot. I hope your weekend is restful.
AW: I stayed home all day, and Mr. Q took E grocery shopping and then to a birthday party. I've had my feet up and murder mysteries on the TV.
I'm back from a great chunky meeting! It was a really good one and even included a solidarity march to remember missing and murdered Indigenous women. Good food, good company...all good. But I am very happy to be home. That's a lot of people for a lot of time. Today will be a quiet day.
esperanza, I meant to mention earlier how great it is that you received two offers for interviews! Good reasoning in terms of which interview to consider. :)
Good meeting, Sue!
We're having some kind of heat wave today and tomorrow. Am switching dinner plans to "dad will BBQ," since our house just sucks up the heat late afternoon.
Y'all, this is amazing. These Man Cold people are on to something. After sitting on the couch for over 24 hours, I am starting to feel better. The Baboos have been perfect--Sweet loaded the dishwasher, and Mini mopped the kitchen floor, twice! And they've played nicely most of the day. I did fix breakfast and lunch, but other than that, I've pushed fluids and rested. As it turns out, it works! I have to let Hillary know!
Wow, Esperanza! Go, team!
Fantastic, esperanza! And hooray for the Baboos, for helping!
Sue, it sounds like you had an excellent time.
Post a Comment