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Monday, July 20, 2015

Havin' a heat wave...

We usually don't get too hot here, but yesterday got hot.  No a/c.  The house barely cooled over the entire night.

On the up side, one giant albatross is almost finished!  Two more bits, then my editor can have at it.  This is making me happy!

What's new with you?

108 comments:

kathy a. said...

Reposting NL's comment of this morning:

((((KLee))) Also, may I say (thinking like posse here) that your brother should be the one taking on this fight for you, making sure his wife picks somewhere safe (if she is in charge of picking??) I have lactose issues, (not the same as allergies, but similar in limited menus to vegetarian needs) and may I just say that I have managed to find something even at ice cream shops occasionally, or have managed to sit and enjoy the company even when there was nothing to eat. And, there is almost never *literally nothing* for vegetarians!!! Sheesh!!!! Now I am mad for you!!! Nobody should have to skip, and certainly not you!!!
Growl!

Feeling growly anyway, and that pergola would tick me off too, QWP. Also, I have had it with people who do something thoughless, and then when you speak up, make it seem like it is your fault. Unfair!!! And not your fault!!!

Deep breath.

So, the original news from the camper care coordinator was that he said things were getting a little better. But then, when we went away over the weekend, we eventually got three emailed letters (all scanned the same day, so don't know the correct order they were written in) saying he still doesn't like it. Then, one to our daughter saying he has one friend (which is better than the zero he started with!) and then one describing a video game he is making with the one friend. So, assuming that's the order.

But, most pictures we see of him, I have yet to see a "real" smile on him. He does a good job of smiling for the camera, but as the mama I can tell the difference. Breaks my heart a bit, but we pick him up SUnday, and it I think it is important for him to realize he can do this. He might not love it as much as we thought and hoped. But, he can do it. I *think* this is the right approach, but the doubt about it and second guessing it is making me grumpy.

Well, everything is making me grumpy right now.

KLee, great news about your mom!!!!! Thinking you good thoughts about a new job!
Amy, thinking good resolution thoughts for your changing situation!
oy esperanza, VBS sounds.....unfun. Thinking you drinks of your choice..

Sorry for the grumps pixies. Thanks for listening!
Continued hugs for liz. Hope you are hanging in there.

Happy Birthday Sue!!!!!

--Neighbor Lady

July 20, 2015 at 10:53 AM

kathy a. said...

NL -- crossing fingers that this week goes well for your boy. Some good hints he's adjusting, anyway. It's hard doing something new, away from home, with a bunch of strangers! However, video friend sounds like he might be a keeper, even when they go home. Sorry for the grumpies.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, kathy a.
:)
Congrats on the albatross bits!
(wow, does that sound weird!)
:) Neighbor Lady

KLee said...

I do hope Neighbor Boy is getting over all the angst, and by the time you pick him up, he'll be saying, "But, I don't want to go! It's been an awesome week!"

Well, the service was today. We got through it without too many tears. Very informal -- my dad and uncle asked if anyone wanted to say anything, and a few people said a few words. I elected not to say anything because it would have opened the floodgates. My brother and SIL were there. We were cordial, but not warm. After a few minutes, we all move over to the actual gravesite where her ashes are to be interred, and there wasn't much fanfare. The workers start to fill in the hole, and my dad taps the guy shoveling on the shoulder. He hefts a shovelful of dirt in the hole, and steps back. Then, my brother, myself, Offspring, and my uncle all take a turn, and we're done. Dad starts talking about lunch, and my brother and SIL pull him away out of hearing range, and the next thing I know, they're in their car and pulling away. So, we all pretty much leave. We head home.

On the way home, I call my mother to let her know that everyone's asking after her, and sending their good thoughts and wishes, and my stepdad tells me she's back in the hospital. Dehydrated and diarrhea. Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Sucktacular day.

Sorry for the language.

esperanza said...

Oh, KLee. Hugs. So many hugs.

Sue said...

(((KLee)))

NL, that sounds so tough for you and for NB. Hopefully the week will improve things for him and Sunday will be here before you know it.

kathy a - way to go on the albatross work!!!

W: It's going to be a tough week. A young woman, the daughter of someone in our congregation, took her life last night. Funeral is Friday. I went to highschool with the girl's mom. I feel so badly for all of them. I'm meeting with them on Wednesday.

kathy a. said...

((( KLee ))) Sending so much love.

And cluesticks. I mean -- I cannot believe that you were cut out of the lunch on such a day. (Yes, that's how I see it.) xoxo

kathy a. said...

((( Sue ))) Love your way, too. How awful. xoxo

esperanza said...

Sue, I'm so sorry. Be gentle with yourself, too. That is hard and draining work. Vacation comes in August, yes?

Queen of West Procrastination said...

(((KLee))) So many hugs. That's too many things for one day.

(((Sue))) That is just awful. I'm so sorry. Much love for you, as you grieve and as you support the family. It is a good thing that you will have a few weeks off soon.

Many, many hugs for NL and NB. I'm glad that he's made a friend, and I hope the last days at camp go better for him.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Klee, I am so sorry about the day. family dynamics sure can suck. You deserve better. I am so sorry about your mom. Sending prayers and thoughts for strength for her and for you.

Sue, hugs to you as you help your friend's family. I am so sorry. You are such a blessing.

AW: got a note from Neighbor Boy today that started, "Camp is fine." He made a new friend, and learned a magic trick that makes a card appear under the couch cushion the person is sitting on. Sounds promising!

Thanks to all for the support. I really appreciate it!

--Neighbor Boy

Anonymous said...

ummm, yeah... I was supposed to sign that Neighbor Lady. oops. Know where my mind is, I guess.
:)

liz said...

((((KLee)))) That is sucktacular. I am so sorry.

Sue, thinking of that family.

kathy a. said...

Oh, KLee -- I missed the part about your mom going back in. Geesh. But that's a good place to get things back to right again. xoxoxoxo

A. Noonie Moose said...

Is it wrong to hope, this early in the presidential race, that one candidate in particular develops a debilitating condition that causes him to withdraw to his man-cave and stfu already? (Thought about "humiliating," but this specimen is way past caring about that.)

But hey, only 12 months until all the primaries are over! /faint/

KLee said...

Mama has been admitted. she got a room on the Oncology floor at about 7:30 tonight. Battling a lot of joint pain today from the white blood cell booster shots. It's very hard to see your mother crying and writing in the pain, and know the medicine is RIGHT THERE, and whyforGod'ssake don't you just GIVE IT TO HER ALREADY! Nothing moves fast at the hospital. Hate seeing her suffer.

Offspring's boyfriend is visiting, and was stoked that I made breakfast for dinner. We had biscuits and sausage gravy, waffles, bacon, and scrambled eggs. Too tired to care that my house is a freaking wreck.

liz said...

(((KLee))) I am so sorry about your mom. Thinking of you and of her. Yay for offspring's easy-going bf!

Sue said...

I'm so sorry your mom is in such pain. I totally understand the frustration with the pace of hospital life, but at least she is in the right place to get some relief. I hope it comes soon.

kathy a. said...

((( Klee ))) Glad she is finally admitted again, but very sorry for the long wait and all that freakin' pain. xoxox

Queen of West Procrastination said...

(((KLee))) I'm glad that your mom has a room now, but I'm so sorry about everything else. So many hugs.

Today has been a hard day for everyone else in my life, and I'm wiped now. (A family friend died of cancer complications, and my best friend was fired without cause, and now the Labour Board and lawyers get to be involved.)

Sue said...

QWP, that's a lot of sucktastic stuff going on. Hugs and love.

W: Before I say this, let me me clear - I know this isn't about me. It's about a family suffering a horrible loss. I'm only saying this here because it's pretty much the only place I can say it.

The young woman took her life because she's been in unbearable chronic pain since the age of 13. It's not so much that she wanted to die, she just didn't want to live in pain anymore.

The chronic pain piece strikes a little close to home. I know the desperation of wondering if pain is all there is in life...of looking into the future and seeing nothing but more pain. My heart breaks for this young woman, and for her family.

Ok, back to being professional. I've got this. We will honour her life and celebrate her spirit.

kathy a. said...

((( Sue ))) That is so heartbreaking. xoxo

Anonymous said...

((((Sue)))) xoxo
--NL

esperanza said...

Oh, Sue. Say it here as often as you need to. How horribly sad, and how extra-horribly difficult for you.

kathy a. said...

Today's glorious mailbox prize is from one of those full-body-scan scams. It is addressed to [my nickname, used by SIL as her name] [SIL's middle initial] [my last name].

SIL and I have the same first name, same nickname -- she uses her original last name, which is my husband's last name; and all her mail comes here. So you can see the potential for confusion. But this is the first time they have paired HER with MY last name. AARRGGHH.

On the up side, she's still doing better with the special Rx mj candy medication! My husband talked me into going with him to visit her this weekend.

esperanza said...

W: Tired. So tired. Baboos sleep like crap away from home. Therefore so do I.

AW: We are home. They are rotting their brains with cartoons.

kathy a. said...

Go, cartoons! Glad you are back, Esperanza. May the peace be with y'all.

Sue said...

Boo for the mail confusion kathy, but Yaaay for meds that are working!

Glad you're home esperanza. Go cartoons!!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Esperanza, I'm so glad that you guys are home and can now catch up. I'd say that cartoons are exactly what's needed right now. (My kid also sleeps like crap away from home, and so I strongly sympathise. Have you also encountered people who act like this is INCREDIBLY UNUSUAL and LIKELY THE RESULT OF PARENTING? The funny thing is that I, and half the adults I know, also sleep terribly away from home, and people just sympathise with me. Sorry for the rant.)

Kathy: that is great news that the mj is working with SIL. And ridiculous news that you're receiving that mail.

(((Sue)))

AW: Mr. Q took E to the library, and so I'm entirely alone right now. Yes, I have a massive pile of laundry to fold (I bargained with Mr. Q that I'd fold all the laundry if he'd stop asking me to go to the library as well), but I'm still gloriously alone.

esperanza said...

QWP, alone folding laundry sounds like heaven. And yes, I had that same thought about how difficult most adults find it to sleep in a strange place, and perhaps it's not all that weird. But no less exhausting.

kathy a. said...

Yep, I do not sleep well away, either. Worse than at home -- a first night away is likely to feature 2 hours of sleep vs. more hours of tossing.

Here's to solitude, may those in need find more of it!

esperanza said...

I think here is my issue with summer: I get frequent(ish), small sips of solitude. But I need great big gulps of it.

Sue said...

Agreed re: solitude and its wonders. I hope you are able to grab many sips and possible gulps of solitude over the next few weeks.

liz said...

Agreed.

Esperanza, can you send the kids off on an overnight adventure with Daddy? He needs to have solid one-on-one time with them, and you need a solid break.

Or can you take yourself off on an overnight adventure without them?

kathy a. said...

Hugs to everybody, especially those who've had a bunch of loss lately. A nice room of one's own to Esperanza and others in need.

Hoping NB returns a happy camper.

Found out last night that the daughter of someone I worked with for years had died (and the memorial happened already); and this stinks. The daughter had problems over the years; my friend raised her granddaughter, who is now a lovely young adult.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your friend's daughter, kathy a.
--NL

esperanza said...

The Baboos are headed to day camp on Monday. Which means a lot of prep and driving for me, but 6 hours to myself Monday through Friday. It's too far to come back home, but I can be alone in a crowd, provided the crowd does not contain people related to me :)

kathy a. said...

woot! except all the driving...

Sue said...

(((kathy a))) Sorry about your friend's daughter.

esperanza, 6 hours Mon-Fri sounds good, even with all the driving.

Well, the funeral went well, with no family conflicts (at least no exploding, ugly ones, which was a concern). There were more people than the family had anticipated, but that was a testament to the young woman herself. She had good friends.

However, if I could whine Old Skool... seriously, if your best friend dies, don't you think about what you might wear to the service??? Two young women, her dearest friends apparently, were there in short ratty looking cut-offs, tank tops and flip flops. Am I just being a crabby old lady? It felt disrespectful.

They might have at least put on a fireplacing bra. (Ok, that was me channeling my mother and her mother before her....)

In any case, it was tough, but it's done.

kathy a. said...

Oh, my. Maybe that was a conflict that did not openly express itself? Who knows. They must have had a reason -- this could not possibly have been that they didn't realize the solemnity of the occasion -- but whatever it was, wasn't said out loud. Is it possible they just were remembering the best times with her?

Suicides are always rough on everyone. Always. xoxo

esperanza said...

Yikes. Here in Land Lost in Time 30 Years Ago, everybody dresses up for funerals. If there are jeans, they are on a legitimate cowboy, they are starched, with a crease down each leg. Otherwise would indeed be disrespectful. I wonder if her friends had no previous connection with church? Or had never been to a funeral? Or, what kathy a said.

Well done, Sue. I hope you can get some good rest this evening.

esperanza said...

OH, I forgot an AW from yesterday. Two explanation-of-benefits forms arrived, one for each Baboo, for a strep throat visit to the pediatrician (visit, lab, shot). Out of network, the form claimed. I called the insurance company (Unit3d H3althcare). Within only a few minutes, I reached an actual person. She investigated. The clinic had submitted with the wrong tax ID number. I was expecting her to tell me to call the clinic to get it straightened out. Instead, she put me on hold, called the clinic, talked to billing, and assured me they will resubmit, by fax, with the correct tax ID number. So happily surprised.

kathy a. said...

It's hard to imagine her best friends meant to be disrespectful to her memory. But young adults -- they are not supposed to lose their own friends. There may not be good templates for them about how to do a funeral. They may not see themselves as allied in grief with members of her family, but see their grief as something separate. I don't know, but benefit of the doubt might be good here.

xoxo

p.s. -- My son was 16 when his beloved grandpa died. He went to the funeral with a faded green and growing-out "bihawk" haircut, because I was not going to force my kid to get better hair right this minute, just for show. He had other stuff going on at the time, too, and grandpa's death was devastating to him. There was some judgment going on, especially from my mother (long divorced from dad), but his appearance wasn't the important thing. The love was.

kathy a. said...

Health care VICTORY for the Baboo family!

Sue said...

Good point, kathy a. The funeral wasn't at the church, but at the funeral home. I suspect it may be that the whole endeavour was foreign to them - losing a friend, attending a memorial service. I wouldn't have wanted them to change drastically to attend, but sheesh...

I totally agree with you re: your son's haircut for his grandpa's funeral. It's the love that counts.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Is it possible that the outfits were symbolic of something regarding their relationship with their friend? (I'm a little notorious for doing that, mostly with colours, when I'm at a funeral that's tough for me to handle.) But I'm not sure what it would symbolise, other than "It's summertime and I have no idea how to dress appropriately."

Esperanza, I'm glad for you that you'll have all that time to yourself (even if you have to do all that driving and have that time be away from home!). I hope you can find nice things to do during that time. And I'm so glad that your insurance company handled that situation properly.

Gross W: so, E has continued to have issues with trying not to poop, and/or getting constipated, and I've been amping up the fibre. As in: so many beans, and smoothies with prune juice in them. So much fruit. And it all came into effect after she fell asleep tonight. An hour and a half after she fell asleep, she suddenly started screaming about something being yucky, and it turned out there had been a literal poosplosion that involved a surprising amount of splatter on the wall. (We assumed that she'd put it on the wall herself, but her hands were clean. It shot out of her.) So, that was an experience.

esperanza said...

oh mercy, QWP. I'm sorry about the poopsplosion. No kidding, "something yucky"

Sue said...

Possibly QWP...maybe this was a shared "uniform" between the girls. I didn't mean to sound so b@tchy about it...the important thing is that they showed up.

Also, ew about the poopsplosion. :(

AW: I slept better last night than I have in months. It helps to be physically and emotionally exhausted.

W: I just wrote a most sucktastic sermon. It is what it is. The sermons I hate the most always seem to touch someone who needs to hear it (yay Holy Spirit!), so it will be fine.

esperanza said...

That is my sermon experience as well, Sue. My favorite is when someone says "oh, it really touched me when you said XYZ," and I didn't say XYZ at all. Clearly, I'm not the only One speaking :)

W: meeting in which we made decisions which will eliminate two jobs. Though it's the right decision, it doesn't feel good.

kathy a. said...

QWP -- She was using her words, all right. ICK! Know it's all gone now, but passing the hand sanitizer anyway. Definitely prize-worthy, if the host ever gets to that part of the proceedings.

Hope all goes well in the pulpit tomorrow.

Esperanza, ick on making those kinds of decisions.

Tiny old skool -- I fell asleep reading on the couch, and kept waking up because there was an ant on my arm. One at a time, but yeah. Some of the miscreants found their way up the heater duct, despite the lack of anything ant-worthy in the general vicinity. One's love of nature only goes so far, you know?

Sue said...

Ants. Ick.

liz said...

QWP, ICK!
Kathy, ick.

W: Aunt Flo. New underwear. Need I say more?
W: also, night sweats. New PJs. Ditto

Anonymous said...

Oh, ick, QWP! Sympathies!
And, ants.... I hate ants!
And, Liz, commiserating, with an intense dislike of Aunt Flo especially.

AW: Neighbor Boy is home!!!!!!! And get this-- just before we pulled up to get him, one of the staff, whom we know fairly well, stopped us to say that he was so glad he had a chance to talk to us. He laughingly said that despite Neighbor Boy's best efforts to the contrary, he actually had a great time at camp! But that he had really missed us the whole time. But, that he wanted to come back next year. And, lo and behold, on the ride home he was sad because he ...wait for it......wishes he was back at camp!!!! OMG the roller coaster!!!
I am so glad he had a good time! And, it seems he does want to do it next year. It seems it wasn't incident free, and not everyone was nice (but NB is very choosy and picks *really* good friends, an AW itself), but he liked it and wants to go back. But only for the same length of time, because he doesn't think he could do longer. Me too.

Thanks for the support this week, friends!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled summer!

-Neighbor Lady
:)

esperanza said...

Go, NB, go!

Sue said...

Yay NB!!!!!!

Sorry about Aunt Flo, Liz. :( And the night sweats.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

NB!! Oh, NL, I'm so glad that he had a good time at camp.

W: I'm sick to my stomach. And paranoid that it's the result of my MIL mishandling raw chicken while she made lunch yesterday. I started getting sick yesterday evening. I honestly would rather this be a stomach bug than salmonella.

AW: Mr. Q took E to church without me (and without my sister, who helps with E a lot, and who has an ear infection), and she was awesome. Like, better than she is than when I'm there.

esperanza said...

From all reports I get, our kids are much better when sitting with friends than when sitting with me, QWP. Much, much, much better.

I'm not sure what to wish for on your tummy, except a quick recovery.

kathy a. said...

Liz -- yuck. One day, Flo will go home. No predictions on the flashes, but sending some virtual blue ice for under the pillow.

YAY, Neighbor Boy!!! That is really really excellent, and I'm glad the staff person got a chance to talk to you!

QWP, hope you are feeling better pronto! (And of course the little rotten pumpkins act better with the parent who isn't 24/7/365!)

We visited my SIL at her care home today -- it is true she is not so agitated, or up and down in mood. Also true her disease is progressing, and so [a] she can't respond appropriately to any topic, and [b] she spent the visit fretting about when her first ex is coming, and saying she needs to wear a red dress, and he'll have a rolls royce, and they're getting married in Hawai'i, and yadda. When she cries, the staff just say he's coming later, at 10:00, plenty of time, and she calms down. She is by far the youngest person there, and some of the old ones look out for her -- one woman in her 80's kept coming over to pat her hand.

Anyway, flaking on awards AGAIN, but y'all are wonderful. xoxo

esperanza said...

Many years ago, I worked at the state psychiatric hospital. One of my units was the geriatric unit. One thing (among MANY) that I learned there was to tend to people's emotions rather than getting caught up in their delusions. So, you see a lawnmower over there, coming straight for you (I am not making this up)--that must be very scary, rather than either entering the delusion with them--let's move to a different chair--or trying to talk them out of what is very real to them. All that is to say, that it sounds like the care home and its residents (and the magic drug) are doing a pretty good job of keeping SiL's emotions steady. But I'm sure it's tough to watch her deteriorate so noticeably.

kathy a. said...

Yes, "don't confront the delusion" is really important! In psych situations, and this one. Normal humans don't have a lot of training in that -- we're all about honesty, usually, maybe offering another perspective. Just a recipe for disaster with SIL.

We have spent the past I don't know how long wondering when the next disaster would hit, because they hit so often. Earlier this year she had a lot of falls and injuries; but taking down the big meds has helped a lot with that. And also earlier this year, her behavioral symptoms were so bad that we worried she'd be tossed out again. So this is great, given a really grim disorder.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

W: we all basically napped last night. At 4:30am, we went and checked why E was crying out once an hour, and it turned out that she'd removed her diaper. Thankfully, she was dry (!), but I'm not sure if either Mr. Q or I had a full REM cycle last night. Between that and the stomach bug, I tried to get out of bed and felt woozy.

AW: I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be anti-whining about heavy rainfall (with more heavy rainfall forecasted), but we started off this summer with drought, and I'm so happy to see this rain. I'm especially happy because we're taking care of two different gardens for the next couple of days, and now I don't have to think about watering for a while.

Anonymous said...

Oh, QWP, I hope your stomach ills resolve quickly!!

Kathy a., I'm glad for the improvement you've seen with the combination of the drug and this care facility.

W: Neighbor Boy is so very emotional. He is, I think, emotionally exhausted from being away at camp. Then, this week, he has the one camp he was ABSOLUTELY DETERMINED he wanted to do-- it's another science camp, a day camp this time, just 8-3 for four days. It's part 2 of a camp he did last year with his best friend. Again, this year the best friend will be there. This morning, he was in tears not wanting to do it. Because he'll miss me too much. And it's too long to be away. And....and.... Once again, as the mean mama I made him go. (also because many kids get wait-listed etc.). He almost ended up in a panic attack-- sobbing, breathing hard, begging to go home. I don't know if I did the right thing. Am concerned because this is like something that happened about a different class before he went off to camp....Not sure if this is normal for returning from away, or the start of a troublesome pattern, or just him, or something I should handle differently.....or....or....

For pete's sake where is the flipping user's manual for parenting already?!?!?!?!?


--Neighbor Lady

liz said...

(((NL)))

Maybe the user's manual for your specific kid is that he needs more downtime between summer activities, particularly after one needing incredible amounts of intestinal fortitude?

We're finding that with our kid, too, btw. So it's not just you.

kathy a. said...

Oh, NL! Sounds like he needs some extra doses of mom time after camp -- but also think it was good you sent him anyway. He loves this camp, will be with his friend, would regret it if he didn't go. AND, you'll be there when he comes home this afternoon. Win win!

But separations are harder for some kids, definitely. (Did I tell you my daughter wanted to come home from college the very day we got her there?) xoxo

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Liz and Kathy a.!
I can totally see that college scenario in our future.....
I wish I could have given him more time between camps....the program he's in this week was only offered one other week- and he was away for that....so not much choice. And after this, nothing planned for August except for some music lessons. The irony? Bet he gets bored quick! ;)

Am planning to take him for ice cream after camp-- just me and him, older sister at home. A little mom time seems a good thing (and good for mom too!).

--Neighbor Lady

Queen of West Procrastination said...

NL, that sounds like a wise plan. (And I always need several days of recharging after camp, and so I understand. But this will be good for him, once he gets into a routine a science camp.)

Kathy a: I'm so glad that SIL is finally receiving proper care. It's about dang time, and I hope it continues.

You guys, I'm way too happy about this summer rain. I'm wearing a sweater and drinking tea, but at the same time Mr. Q is home and taking care of E, and so it's way better than autumn. Tomorrow were supposed to get more cool weather and rain, and I'm hoping that I'm well enough to do all the baking and cooking I'll need for the next while.

kathy a. said...

NL, yeah. Boring boring boring will definitely be next month's whine! Ice cream = excellent.

QWP, here in California, we also get excited about the rare summer rain.

esperanza said...

AW: First day of day camp: success. Two happy and tired Baboos.
AW: Meet up with friend for lunch: long overdue, and so fun
W: Epic amounts of driving. 5 hours in the car. (camp commute plus lunch meetup)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Old Skool: I stubbed my toes HARD on a tricycle. My foot is still sore, a few hours later. This really adds to the stomach virus experience. Oh! And I think E is coming down with it, too. And maybe Mr. Q.

AW: at least it's summer and we don't have to be anywhere.

kathy a. said...

Yay, camp!

Ouch, QWP.

W: The dental insurance company sent a statement about recent dental work; they decided to change my last name to my husband's. The same dental insurance company sent a statement about my SIL, [my nickname; husband's last name].

It's not just the sincere risk of mixing up our records and credit. It offends my dignity when I have to keep explaining to people that I HAVE MY OWN NAME, THE ONE I HAVE ALWAYS USED MY ENTIRE LIFE.

kathy a. said...

It appears the personnel department for my husband's work changed my name for me. They reported that name to the dental insurance people.

This means I can't fix it; he has to. grr.

Anonymous said...

Oh, grrrrr, kathy a. How infuriating!
--NL

liz said...

Unacceptable.

kathy a. said...

He works for a major state agency, which among other things advocates women's rights. There is a call out; nobody has called back. Yet. Yes, this is unacceptable. And they know better.

I don't badger my husband about very much, but this is a situation in which I will not bend, which he knows well from past altercations of this nature.

kathy a. said...

And, bam. Somebody challenged him about the name under which I had been enrolled, and he produced the enrollment document from years ago with my real name, which he explained is my LEGAL name and the only one I have ever used. go, team.

My goodness, it is getting hot again. I ran an errand, and was tempted to stay in the AC for a while...

esperanza said...

102 here when we arrived home this afternoon. 'Tis the season.

Baboos getting tired at day camp but taking naps in the car on the way home. I'm getting tired getting up early and driving and not getting a nap. Still worth it. Three solid hours of work this morning at the library. I can't remember a time when I've had that big of a chunk to work. No laundry, no phone, no interruptions that I did not initiate (looking at you, fb!).

kathy a. said...

Esperanza is always going to beat me by a mile on heat whines, because I am a total heat wimp. 102, I'd be filling the bathtub with ice. If I had enough energy, and enough ice. But yay about the time to self!!

esperanza said...

Air conditioning, air conditioning, air conditioning. Though I am often cold indoors in the summer because people set them way too low.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Esperanza, HOW far away is this day camp? It can't be more than two hours away, can it? And you're commuting every day? Where I live, that distance means we're going to stay for the week (or declaring it to be too far away).

Kathy a: I'm shocked that a government agency changed your name for you, without your permission. And I'm speaking as someone who had to jump through hoops to change her own name with the government! The idea that a government agency that is responsible for women's rights (in a state known for liberalism), would go all Patriarchal Clippy: "Hi! I noticed that you don't have the same last name as your husband's. Let me change that for you!"

liz said...

QWP gets an award for the idea of patriarchal Clippy!!!

kathy a. said...

Patriarchal Clippy! LOL

It was almost certainly some clerk messing up. I think the clerk yesterday tried to tell my husband that the wrong name is the correct one, so it's a good thing he had a copy of the application in hand.

Sue said...

Patriarchal Clippy for the win!!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I just got a message from our church's head office, saying that they got a confusing message from someone, saying that West Coast Grandma had passed away. (Confusing because they said they heard from her soon, but WCG doesn't have any kids. Maybe from her nephew? But then who called the office?) Now that it's late enough to call the West Coast, I need to call and confirm with our people out there, and I'm dreading that call. I'm a little in denial right now, like maybe the call was about someone we don't know, and it's all a big misunderstanding.

Ugh. Oh, and I've been awake since 4:45, thanks to a child who was screaming bloody murder. (Gas? I think it's gas. I think we didn't get her properly hydrated when her stomach got upset on Monday.) I took a little nap this morning while Mr. Q watched her, but then she screamed outside the bedroom door, and so I've been awaken by scanning twice in one morning. And then checked FB to find the message about WCG.

kathy a. said...

((( QWP ))) xoxo

Hope E is feeling better, also.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I'm relieved! We just called our West Coast People (specifically, the people who are WCG's emergency contacts at her seniors' residence), and they said that she's alive and well. And they know of another senior with her same name, who lives in a different part of the province, who was likely the one who passed away. I am very sorry for the family of that woman, but am relieved that my sweetie is alive.

kathy a. said...

Whew! Guess this is name mixup week, eh?

kathy a. said...

My name is fixed. Yay.

esperanza said...

That is the worst kind of name mixup, QWP. Glad all name mixups are resolved.

Day camp is 1.5 hours away. Extra car time needed for meeting friends for lunch, running errands in town, etc. Getting a decent night's sleep last night has improved things considerably. I'm not near as tired as I was yesterday afternoon when we got home.

Sue said...

Oh my goodness, QWP, what a scare! I'm glad that name mixup is sorted.

I'm glad your name is as it should be also kathy. Sheesh, what a week!

That's a lot of driving esperanza, but it sounds like the personal time is worth it.

AW: I'm using up a day and a half of lieu time (ministers don't get overtime) and then.... VACATION. Woot!

esperanza said...

VACATION!!!!!! Yippee!!!

kathy a. said...

For Sue. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo8S3iFdzUc

kathy a. said...

A caregiver in the support group for my SIL's illness has some legitimate rants about getting financial assistance.

But then she started on "ob@m@-cr@p," which she was told she could not get, "and anyway, they wouldn't cover pre-existing conditions." Her state is a bad one, hostile to covering its residents' medical needs -- but how can anybody believe ACA wouldn't cover pre-existing conditions? That is one of the hallmark advantages! Oh, yeah; faux news.... The fab politicians in her state... Isn't this a subject on which facts can just be facts, and lies can just not be told?

Sue said...

Yes kathy! That tune has been in head all week. (And I'll confess, I had that EXACT haircut in the mid-80s - *shudder*)

I hear ya re: faux news and the success they've had at spreading lies. It's quite appalling. Scary even.

kathy a. said...

The 1980's have a lot to answer for, hair-wise. There was this time I went for a "body perm" and also agreed to a shorter haircut, resulting in a poofy poodle-head. ~shudder~

kathy a. said...

Albatross I -- complete draft!! At long last! There will still be cleanup and editing, but my editor can't work on it immediately, so off to tackle Albatross II. Yay!

Anonymous said...

Yay, Kathy a.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--NL

esperanza said...

Hooray for conquered Albatrossi! (You give me hope that my own collection thereof may be conquered someday...)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I haz concussion. Since Wednesday night, but I was so sick that I didn't realise how badly the effects of hitting my head persisted. I spent most of yesterday thinking I was getting an ear infection, until I realised that ask my head pain and nausea where radiating from a massive goose egg on my head. Whoops! No wonder I've been so dizzy. I'm supposed to be avoiding visual stimuli until the nausea goes away, and so I'd better get off my phone now.

kathy a. said...

QWP!!! Let this not happen again -- don't mess around with goose eggs on the head. You hear me? (Saying that softly.) (Hope it feels better soon.) xoxox

esperanza said...

oh no! Take care, QWP!

Sue said...

Oh no QWP!! Been there, done that. Try to be patient - it really does take as long as they say it does to recover from a brain injury (and that's what it is). I was told to avoid ALL stimuli - no music, no tv, no reading, no screens. The more you rest your brain, the faster it will heal. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. :(


Well, it's here - vacation starts today!!!!

I likely will not be checking in here for the next few weeks. We have family arriving tomorrow and staying for a week...then a few weeks of reading, sitting on the patio, and general relaxing...then son and new partner arrive for a week. So - have a good August pixies. Love to you all!!!

kathy a. said...

Sue, have a wonderful vacation!

Elizabeth Miller said...

Sue, have a great vacation!!
QWP!!! I'm so sorry! Feel better soon.

esperanza said...

Happy Vacation Sue!

W: Good grief. August 16 is Church Women's Group Sunday at hubby's church. Everyone in the congregation detests it, except for the one woman in charge. She is a terrible delegate-er (and I do know, as I am one too) and ends up doing most of the service herself. She's not a good public speaker, either. My whine is that she just texted me TODAY to ask if I would preach for that Sunday. It is waaaaay too late to be asking someone to preach. I'm already booked for that Sunday, thank goodness. So now her problem has probably become Mr. E's problem, as he/they search for someone to preach on short notice. I suggested the youth pastor, who is seminary trained and perfectly capable of doing it, though it's also insulting to her to ask her on such short notice. Sigh. This happens every year.

kathy a. said...

Wow, that sounds unpleasant and last-minute, Esperanza. Shouldn't inclusion of more group members be an objective? It is always hard to get people lined up for something in summer, too, because many families have other plans for things they can't do other times of the year. Since this happens every year, it doesn't seem unreasonable to ask that plans be made and speakers invited a couple months out, next time.

esperanza said...

You are quite right, on all counts. But. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

kathy a. said...

So true.

kathy a. said...

Apparently I have lost my award mojo. Everyone is deserving! Cake for all!

AW: My husband removed his sister's giant heavy ugly giant flat-screen TV from the bedroom wall, and then he patched and painted the wall. Yay! W: Leaving only 3 pieces of her furnishings in that room alone. More in other places. Gotta get someone to come take some of this stuff away...