Monday, June 22, 2015

It's raining. Because, barbeque.

Good morning Pixies!

Yup, we're planning to bbq some burgers tonight. Cue the rain. Not a huge whine, however, because both MIL and FIL are feeling well enough to come to our place for a meal. That is wonderful!

What's up with you?


kathy a. said...

Sue, thanks for hosting! And thank you, Esperanza, for last week.

Hope the rain clears for the BBQ. Great that your in-laws are able to come for dinner!

We had a nice dinner with both adult kids last night. Dad manned the BBQ, as always.

A republican legislator (who lost someone he admires in Charleston) will introduce legislation to finally take down that horrible racist flag at the state house.

kathy a. said...

Ranty W: One more time, a horrifying mass shooting, and no reasonable prospect of achieving anything along the lines of gun control.

People blamed the President for -- I dunno, expressing concern about guns? So that makes other people trigger happy? (No, I don't particularly follow that one, either.) People blamed the dead people for not having their own guns in their own place of worship. A lot of people just don't want to commit to whether this was a racially motivated massacre, much less the role that repeated appeals to hatred plays when someone is not quite glued together properly, and he also has a fireplacing gun. Every victim was shot multiple times; and yet, the glorification of guns seems to be more important than their very lives. As was true at Sandy Hook, and the times before that, and the other times since.

I really hate guns. Know other people feel differently, but there has got to be a more sensible approach.

esperanza said...

Sue, so glad y'all can be together tonight, and I hope the rain cooperates.

W: is it time for school to start yet?

kathy a. said...

We were fortunate enough to get a poop sample from the cat who is losing weight, and -- it turns out that if you get that gold and double bag it, and then put it in the freezer -- you should have put it in the refrigerator. The vet threw it out. aaarrrggghhh!

Anonymous said...

Laughing esperanza, because I am still in the "Isn't it time for school to end YET?" camp. And yet, also sad because these kids this year were SO very terrific and I will miss them very much.

Had a visit from an old student today. He was one of my particular focuses about three years ago, and has had ups and downs, but still comes back. That is why I love my job.

Also, amen to everything kathy a. said.

Sue, yay for the in law visit tonight. Hope the sun comes out at just the right time.

--Neighbor Lady

Sue said...

Alas, no sunshine, no bbq, just a lovely meal (prepared indoors) together. My in-laws are a bit shaky, but were in good spirits.

That's so great about your former student NL!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Like NL, we are counting down to the last day of school here! (Friday. Mr. Q is done on Friday.)

W: car repairs. Apparently, not only did the driver-side brake line fail, but the passenger side is about to go, too. Replacing those, and flushing the line, and towing the car, brings us over $700. And who knows what else is on the verge of failing, now that this lemon is ten years old.

AW: we can afford it. It cuts into the savings, but for the first time in a decade, it's not a crisis, and we're not going into debt to pay for it.

AW: we survived the camping trip with extended family. E slept very little, but she slept. We avoided a major meltdown and are already catching up.

W: in order to catch up (and to avoid a meltdown, since E was crashing with exhaustion, and wasn't going to nap anywhere unfamiliar), we had to pack up and drive home on Sunday afternoon, and miss the big birthday party. (It also made sense for is to drive home in the afternoon, since it was many hours away, and Mr. Q worked the next day.) Certain family members were displeased that we left early, and didn't somehow force E to nap in an unfamiliar bed. (She slept for the previous night in the trailer, after much resistance, but was a bit freaked out by it. It was so different from anything she's ever done.) I weary of people who think you can "just" force a toddler to do something like sleep.

AW: it was definitely the right call, and we got home at the right time. And the immediate family was very much on board, with my MIL defending us to others, after we were gone. (I've also learned that mine is not the only child in the family that had trouble travelling. It's just that the other ones that have trouble just stay home.)

Sue said...

QWP, I remember the same dynamic in our family. There were times when we could see the meltdown building in one of the boys and chose to return home early (also from camp) rather than leave when full-on crisis hit. It always irked a few people, but ALWAYS worked out better for the boys and for us. You know your own child - simple as that.

W: I'm trying SO hard not to wish away the month of July, but dang, I am ready for August vacation month.

Sorry, I know y'all get sick of hearing this whine EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

It's my own choice to take all my vacay at once (4 wks in August) so if I'm flat out exhausted in July, hey, no one to blame but myself.

AW: August is 100% awesome. Every year it confirms the importance of my having a solid block of time away from ministry.

kathy a. said...

NL, how wonderful to get that visit! Almost summer, at long last!

QWP, yes, knowing your child and making it work for her is far more important than somebody else's opinions about how you should do things! Sorry about the unexpected expense.

Sue, just a little while, and then a whole glorious wonderful month off! Day at a time. One Sunday left for each Sunday you'll have off. Yay about the inlaw dinner.

Very impressed by the strong political push to take the confederate flag down in S.C.; now joined by business leaders in S.C.; actions to remove flag references in other states; W@lm@art is removing all related merchandise. But nearly half of the state legislators are not publicly committing just yet, and they need 2/3 of each house to remove the flag. (This would be a no-brainer anyplace else; but people are very dug into certain positions after fighting over the flag for decades.)

Yankee, Transferred said...

Had this great, giant whine planned about house fires and adult children that move back in with babies and toddlers and spouses and laundry and stuff-that-smells-like-smoke and food bills and utility bills and no privacy and no consideration with the laundry room and and and and and...and then...and then...the anti whine!
Very wonderful friends who live in a very wonderful house with a very wonderful pool have gone away to their summer home and asked us if we (just The Attorney and I) would like to house sit. From now until 7/16 and then again from 8/12 through 9/15. And suddenly, there were rainbows and unicorns flying out my butt.

kathy a. said...

YT!!! That's a pretty righteous set of whines. And what an anti-whine! I would love a gig like that, sometimes.

The kids doing OK? Just because you need space doesn't mean you don't love 'em. One day the crisis will be over. xoxo

Sue said...

YT!!! Great anti-whine! Pool!! Sorry about the whines though - those sound seriously rough. :(

esperanza said...

YT, how good to hear from you. The house fire and resulting personnel rearrangements sound stressful, but the housesitting gig sounds delightful!

Anonymous said...

YT!! Welcome back!! We missed you!!
Your whines sound very very stressful, but yay for the house-sitting!!!!
--Neighbor Lady

Queen of West Procrastination said...

YT!! I was about to say the same thing as everyone else: wow, is the house fire ever a stressful and scary thing, but wow, does that housesitting gig ever sound good.

A silly little melancholy thing: so, I just managed to perfectly replicate a specific quesadilla that we frequently had at a little restaurant, during those years we lived on the west coast. And then I was suddenly reminded of the fact that we had those quesadillas so often because they were a favourite of our Helen, a little old lady from our church (who passed away from cancer, a few months ago). It's such a silly little thing, but that food memory (and the realisation that I can't call her and tell her that I got the ingredients just right, finally), hit me with so much sadness. Grief is a strange thing.

esperanza said...

You never know when it's going to hit you, do you QWP?

Also, just this Saturday, we left a birthday party early because of impending meltdowns and poorly behaved children. Sometimes it's just better to cut your losses, even if people are disappointed. Even if you're disappointed.

W/AW: we went to the waterpark today with the church group. Sweet did *much* better than last year. But I am wiped out. Mini got sunburned. We are squeezing in a trip to see the grandparents tomorrow through Saturday, but I'm really in no mood to do anything other than sit on the couch with my feet up.

liz said...

YT!!! I am so sorry about the house fire. Glad everyone is okay, though underfoot. And so very glad about the house sitting.

What a great thing to have that visit, NL!

I, too, am glad about that flag going away from official locations and large stores.. I like to be able to know just how much trouble some one went to to get one so they can display their racism.

QWP, I am so glad your MIL had your back. You made the right decision.

Sue, August is almost here!!!!

Esperanza, I hope you get some time with your feet up.

liz said...

W: It rains hard almost every afternoon in VA. When am I supposed to get my doors done? I only got 19 in before the monster thunderstorm hit yesterday.

AW: I was going from door to door in my car, so I didn't get rained on.

W: Humidity. Sweat. I might as well have gotten rained on.

AW: Lovely people at the doors. Sincerely lovely people. I love canvassing! When I can actually do it!

Sue said...

(((QWP))) Grief appears in its own time, doesn't it? hugs....

Liz, as I read your post about rain, I looked out my office window and saw a massive dark grey cloud in the sky.

My rain coat is at home in the closet. Of course it is. *sigh*

kathy a. said...

((( QWP ))) Grief can pop up so unexpectedly. Sometimes just the muzak in a store will bring up a memory; or the smell of certain food; or some other thing happens, and I know exactly what S would have said about it.

Also, I have personally left things earlier than planned to avoid personal exhaustion or a meltdown. And I have a lot more practice at sticking it out than a little person.

Esperanza, yay about the [mostly] successful waterpark trip! Feet up on couch sounds about right.

Liz, keep a brella in your car, or else a lightweight hooded poncho! It can't rain all the time, so hope you get more doorbells in soon. GO, LIZ!

NL, 2 more days!

YT, let us know what's goin' on.


kathy a. said...

Ack. The whole Charleston mass killing, gun issues, confederate flag issues, etc. really affected me. Today I posted something about the damned flag flying on the state house grounds, during the lying in state of a victim who served in the state legislature. And my cousin popped up with how she didn't view the flag negatively, it reflects both the good and the bad of history. (Which, being very white and of the redneck persuasion, she definitely would think.)

I only have 3 first cousins, two that I like. We already agreed to disagree about guns. Am really trying to keep it simple and factual, not personal. Gah. I even held back on the MASSIVE proof that the confederacy was all about slavery, not about all this other pie in the sky "state's rights" crap.

KLee said...

Kathy a., I totally feel you on the "redneck relatives" front. I love my stepdad, he's generally a wonderful person, but he grew up in the Deep South in the 1950's, and is VERY much a product of his time and place. He does not seem to have a problem with black people one-on-one, but tends to lump all of society's problems on the thugs who commit crime, who, *naturally*, are black. It's tiresome, and I'm never going to change his mind, but it does get disheartening.

As for the argument that the Confederate flag is a part of our collective history, my reply is, yeah -- so is the swastika flag, yet I don't see that many people eager to wave THAT around. Except maybe the same people who proudly wave the Confederate flag.... Just because it is a piece of history doesn't mean it's right. I'm not saying that you destroy every image of it -- it should be remembered as a dark part of our history, but kept so we don't forget and repeat our mistakes -- but you certainly do not have to display it on governmental buildings.

I have a friend who is posting lots of stuff in the aftermath of Charleston about white privilege and white "fragility". I understand her anger, and her sense of disenfranchisement, but at the same time, i dont see how this is going to help further the debate. I get it -- I, as a white person, will never truly understand what the struggle is like. But, I have worked with multi-ethnic classes and Girl Scout troops for 15 years now, trying to love and nurture kids of all races, kinds, and creeds. I think I've proven that I love people of all kinds, and have no wish to be thought of as someone who is hindering the effort to move the cause along. I just want us all to live in peace, but until the cycle of poverty is broken, I don't see it happening.

I love my city. And, I love Charleston. As a Native South Carolinian, I am appalled that someone with hate in his heart took nine lives and fractured so many others. Even with all of the fracas surrounding the flag, South Carolina pulled together, and Charleston mourned its dead without rioting and looting. I'm proud of that. Even if we are wrong about a great many things, at least Charleston got that part right. Showing your anger and grief by preying on others isn't the right way.

/end rant

kathy a. said...

It is distinctly possible my cousin's husband has flags. Both of them are native Californians, never been to the South so far as I know. Sigh.

Charleston S.C. has been amazing. Columbia S.C. [state capitol], not so much. Alabama got a flag down today, permanently; South Carolina didn't.

You are so right about the cycle of poverty.

Onward and upward. xoxo

liz said...

On a totally different topic, I had a great canvass yesterday. Low humidity, no rain. Blue sky. Just gorgeous

Sue said...

Yay Liz!!!!! Hooray for blue sky!!

When I saw the newsclip last night of the horse-drawn carriage with the casket passing by the confederate flag, I was just numb. The whole thing is mind-boggling to me. And sad. So, so sad.

AW: I've submitted my request for sabbatical leave in the Spring of 2017. Applications have to be in this early because, well, layers of chunky administration. We are entitled to three months paid sabbatical for every five years of ministry. When 2017 comes, it will be exactly five years since my last sabbatical in 2012. (The policy only came into practice in 2008, so this will be my second sabbatical in 17 years of ministry.)


liz said...

W: world's largest and itchiest mosquito bites. Plus Aunt Flo.

AW: yesterday's canvass still has me happy

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Liz, I'm so glad that you finally had a good day for canvassing!

Potential W: it took E almost two hours to fall asleep last night (there were a lot of loud disrupts just after she went to bed, and then she got really wound up, and then there was a lot of coughing). She woke up at a normal time (ie no later than usual) this morning. I'm bracing myself for the consequences. (I'm also watching for cold symptoms, since she coughed so much through the evening.)

AW: last day of school! Mr.Q just has one day of meetings tomorrow, and then he's off for the summer. (Give or take two weeks of half-day robotics camps in mid-July.)

kathy a. said...

Go, LIZ! But boo on Aunt Flo and the skeeters.

Here's hoping E has a calm day.

AW: Health care act stands!!

esperanza said...

I also have super itchy mosquito bites, Liz. For us, it's a direct consequence of all the rain.

Hoping for a good day for E. Sweet also slept terribly last night (we are at the grandparents' house, and I slept with her, so I'm quite positive that she tossed and turned for a good chunk of the wee hours). She's already pretty tired, but a nap will just make tonight terrible too. Sigh.

liz said...

Hugs for all the sleepless children.

Sue, you'd damned well better be given that Sabbatical, or there will be a cluestickin' like they've never seen.


kathy a. said...

The shame. I have just bought puppy training pads because my cat pees outside the box. And sometimes outside the mat outside the box. And just now, on the floor I just cleaned, but I was letting it dry, but NOOOOO.

kathy a. said...


Queen of West Procrastination said...

You guys! These are a huge couple of days in the US! A question of clarification: is marriage equality now for real for real, for everyone? Like, the ruling didn't just overturn the bans that were actually on the books in specific states, but legalized it everywhere? That's incredible!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

(And another installment of Questions From Ignorant Canadians!)

Sue said...

Liz, they don't have much choice about the sabbatical. They can object to the time frame (though I'm suggesting the quietest time in the church year for my absence) but sabbatical every five years is an entitlement in my call papers (contract). There will be some ruffling of feathers, but unless they would prefer that I be away for Christmas or Easter, I think it's a done deal.

Sorry about the pee pads kathy. Does the vet have any suggestions?

SCOTUS!!!! Yay!!!!! I was trying to remember when Canada ruled on marriage equality and the book of faces helped me out. It was 2005.

QWP - I wondered the same, let's go with Curious Canadians (no such thing as a bad question, yes?)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Curious Canadians! Excellent name for it. I immediately came to WW for further information, because we know some amazing experts here.

kathy a. said...

The ruling applies to everyone, everywhere, for all purposes. Taxes; inheritance; hospital visits; everything.

kathy a. said...

No more states making up their own rules. There will likely be protests -- can't really predict those -- but a state or county or city cannot flat deny marriage licenses to same sex couples.

I haven't read the opinion yet; this is my understanding, but the bottom line is very clear.

Boy, is Justice Scalia ticked off. ;)

kathy a. said...

This case actually combined 4 separate cases -- there was litigation about everywhere that gay marriage had not already been legalized.

The gay pride parade in San Francisco is Sunday. I'm pretty sure that is where the wave of progress started, so it may be even more joyous this year than usual.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Congratulations, you guys! Oh man, Scalia has had a bad end to his week, hasn't he? I heard he used the phrase "jiggery-pokery" in yesterday's dissent on the ACA.

kathy a. said...

The first marriages in S.F. were amazing. Lines way out the door to city hall. Tons of people coming by to cheer. A lot of people had flowers sent to anonymous folks waiting to be wed.

kathy a. said...

LOL! Yes, something like that. He sometimes runs out of real words to express his views adequately. ;)

Anonymous said...


My children and I just burst into spontaneous applause!! And I heard it here first!!

Yay!!! Good news!
--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

NL, your kids are awesome!

I think this is important in more ways than just straightening out who can marry and get the legal protections that go with that. It is a confirmation of dignity and humanity, even for LGBTQ people who don't want to marry.

There are still some issues, like housing and employment discrimination based on sexual orientation -- but hopefully this strong statement of non-discrimination will go a long way toward resolving those.

esperanza said...

Hey, I learned it here first, too! Hip, hip, hooray!

kathy a. said...

Obama's eulogy at Rev. Pinckney's funeral in Charleston was -- amazing.

kathy a. said...

KLee said...

I just saw a map of the US by county that are currently giving out marriage certificates, and my one little progressive county is the ONLY ONE in my state, and not only that, but the only county around in several states! I hate that it's the only one, but that will change. I have NEVER been happier to be a spot of purple in a sea of white!

kathy a. said...

Go, KLee's county! Did you see this, about the 82 and 85 year olds, together 50-something years, who got married today? Grab a hanky.

kathy a. said...

The scotus ruling will become final in a few weeks. Certain folks will file for rehearing, but be turned down. Some places are coming around; others just knowing the inevitable is happening soon.

Sue said...

Good morning pixies!

Such an exciting and emotional day yesterday. When I grow up I want to preach like the President. What a remarkable eulogy.

Speaking of preaching - I "worked" on my sermon most of yesterday but was very distracted. I have a total of just over 300 words and they are not great.

So, likely no prizes, but keep whining and I'll check in later.

liz said...

So much happiness the last two days. Everyone I saw was incandescent. Laughing. Crying. Laughing again. GLOWING.

I spent last evening in the company of several thousand happy progressive Democrats cheering ROARING in a sports stadium celebrating with Hillary Clinton, who was ON FIRE.

And I spent the day making calls, raising money from people who said, "how about I double that" because of their sheer JOY at the amazing progressive gains we've made this week.

And then I called my friend Mary who lives in the same senior center as my friend Linda. And it turns out that Linda, who I talked with just a couple of weeks ago, JUST A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, is now in hospice care. Her husband is the one I talked about here who was diagnosed with terminal cancer this past December and died in February. I can't express how devastated I am.

She doesn't want calls or visitors. She can just handle notes.

I sent her a note telling her as much as I could of what she and Richard have meant to me.

And now it feels like all the light has gone from the world.

kathy a. said...

((( Liz ))) I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Linda being so ill -- and so soon after she lost her own husband. She may change her mind about visitors, but writing as you did is perfect; she needs the love anyway.


kathy a. said...

The abundance of joy and the contrast of grief -- you got a larger dose of the latter, but life sure has been funny that way this week. xoxo

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh Liz, that's heartbreaking. Many, many hugs. A lot of high highs and low lows this week.

esperanza said...

So sorry Liz. Something like that can really take the wind out of your sails.

So glad for the whining pixies, for I was in Republican Land at my parents' house and couldn't celebrate properly.

W: So Daddy is out of the country. We just returned home today and haven't gone to the grocery store yet. I'm preaching tomorrow. What would be just perfect? That's right. Mini with 101.5 fever. The friend who was going to sit with them at church tomorrow is now going to sit with them at home. Which meant some emergency house cleaning. Grateful for friends who aren't scared of Baboo fevers. (Just putting my prediction here: strep throat).

kathy a. said...

Ack, Esperanza! Sending virtual chicken noodle soup, some rainbow flags, kidlet feverBgone, and hugs for your brave friend. xoxo

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh no, Mini!

Anonymous said...

((((mini and esperanza))))

kathy a. said...

Adult daughter is depressed. Lot of crying and yelling lately. Bad sleep. Not eating well. Keeps saying she will make a doctor appointment so she can go back on a mild anti-depressant, but never gets around to it. (She can make an appointment online. She is off the next 2 days.) Wants a new job; can't quite get the energy to update the resume and apply. Big loud meltdown last night. Trying to bite my tongue and remember this will sort itself out.

esperanza said...

(((kathy a and daughter)))

liz said...

Hugs to Kathy and Esperanza.

It is such a relief to be able to sad here.

esperanza said...

I'm rethinking my strep throat diagnosis. Could be an ear infection, given the amount of swimming we've done in the past week. It's happened before. Poor thing is running fever again this evening. She's napping. Sweet is all out of sorts for all kinds of possible reasons, but she's not being easy to live with.

kathy a. said...

Eeeps about the mystery illness, Esperanza. Hope everybody's less out of sorts soon.

Whine and you shall receive -- someone brought me a present to make up for yesterday, and is currently making an appointment.

esperanza said...

Well that's a nice turnaround.

Inspiration struck, and Sweet and I worked on a jigsaw puzzle while Mini napped (3.5 hours and counting now). Sweet is precociously good at puzzles, but Mini not so much. She does not add to the mood, which was already precarious. So, it was a good opportunity for Sweet and Mama time. Mama is still looking for the good opportunity for Mama time. Sigh. This single parenting bit is tough. I don't know how people do it all the time.

kathy a. said...

Oh, so good about the nap and the puzzle time!