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Monday, May 18, 2015

Happy Birthday to Me Whining

That's right, my birthday is Wednesday, just in time for whining. (Who am I kidding, I whine all the time). Someone asked me yesterday if I was about 30. Sure....we'll go for that.

Blub. Blub. Blub. We have been drenched with rain, which is overall good. But 4 inches in 1.5 hours in the middle of the night, when the ground is already saturated is not so good. Streets and homes flooded in town. Expecting "minor" river flooding, though that was before this latest storm. People are really mad that the school district didn't delay school for a bit this morning. Lots of teachers not able to make it on time this morning, buses having a hard time getting through, etc.

And. My major whine is that Mini's Monday/Wednesday preschool is already out for the year. The Tuesday/Thursday preschool has only this week. Leaving a little too much Mama-Mini time until kindergarten is out *next* Friday. Sigh.

How's it for you, pixies?

85 comments:

kathy a. said...

Let's sing it! Hippo birdie, two ewe!

Hoping that much kidlet summer entertainment comes your way, and that you find some relief from the 24/7. My kids had year-round daycare and then camps, which helped, but I was still ever so glad when they went back to school each fall. xoxo

kathy a. said...

Hugs to KLee -- glad mom's first treatment went smoothly. If your mom does lose her hair, someplace around here I have some links for head wraps, which my sister used during her treatment for breast cancer.

What exactly is the doctor suggesting you get checked? Is s/he suggesting a scan? Consulting with a neurologist? It is scary when family history means we have to be extra-alert -- but BREATHE! The chances are, you will *never* get this. The process of checking it out periodically will get less scary. Sending much love. xoxox

redzils said...

Happy birthday, Esperanza!

Hi Pixies! Big news from the Frozen North: I had a baby a week ago! He's darling and we're all well.

W: sadly, he seems to be nocturnal. I'm not nocturnal and lousy at naps so wow: the sleep deprivation is killing me.

More later, but I wanted to share this and let you know I'm reading (and sending mental hugs and clue sticks, as needed) every week.


kathy a. said...

REDZILS! Mazel tov! Welcome baby!!

xoxo

esperanza said...

Congrats, redzils! Sorry about the nocturnal. And the sleep deprivation.

I'm working on summer plans, kathy a. We already have some traveling lined up. I'm considering a summer day camp for a week at a place I've worked myself, know the director, etc etc. But. It's 1.5 hours each way. Still trying to convince myself the drive won't suck all the joy out of it. I doubt that I would return home each day (because if my math is correct, that would equal 6 hours in the car), but still.

Liz said...

REDZILS!!!! MAZEL TOV!!!

kathy a. said...

6 hours in the car does not seem like a good trade-off. 3 hours does not sound all that great, either, but maybe an option if you can line up Mom Camp Grownup Activities for that week. And car activities? ;)

W: my beloved visited his sister yesterday, and she was not the "mellow" person she reportedly was on Friday. She was in a flood of tears and utterly incomprehensible. (Her language skills have faded a lot, but usually he can still understand some of it.) They're going to start adjusting some meds and hopefully find a better balance. I honestly think everybody's doing their best, and this stupid disease is kicking everyone's butts. Again.

AW: Dinner will be pork roast, fingerling taters and Brussels sprouts, salad.

esperanza said...

Your dinner sounds way better than mine. Except for the Brussels sprouts. I am not enough of a grownup to appreciate them, I guess.

Sorry about SiL's not so mellow Sunday.

esperanza said...

AW: Mini was almost perfectly behaved during her solo day with me. She even added "You're my favorite mom. I liked spending time with you today" with a hug. More than once.

W: then Sweet came home, and Mini reverted to her poor behavior from the weekend.

KLee said...

Redzils, congrats! I have sent your pics of Baby on the book of faces, and he's beautiful! You look very happy, as you should be.

Esperanza, so glad to hear the good Mini report. :). Sorry bout the backsliding when sis got home.

Kathy a., sorry that the "mellow" didn't last. I was hoping you would all get a bit of a breather. Also, doc is suggesting brain scans for my brother and I. I would assume head CTs, but I will have to ask. I also have to go back to have my left breast reexamined in September, but I'm not expecting that to turn into anything.

Sue said...

Happy Birthday on Wednesday esperanza!! Our son, who happens to be visiting this week, also has a birthday on Wednesday!

Redzils!!!! Congratulations and wishes for sleep - soon!

AW: The wedding was lovely and it was fun to catch up with all the family. It's so great to see all the cousins together having so much fun.

W: There was some body shaming, but it was expected. Mostly it was sideways comments like "Wow, you've really changed in a few years" and the up and down body scan. *sigh*

AW: I had a great time in my fierce, fabulous, "changed" body anyway!

Sue said...

Oh, and the step-monster was on her best behaviour. Yay!!!

kathy a. said...

Sue -- yay, wedding! And OK, then, about the step-monster. (A previous posse destination.)

Big loud boo on the body shaming. Yeah, people change, get the fireplace over it.

Happy birthday, visiting son!

KLee, keep us posted, OK?

esperanza said...

Oh good grief Sue. I saw the pictures. You're gorgeous.

I'm reading more and more articles about body image and girls (you would see my interest in that, I guess) that advise parents, especially mothers, to say NOTHING about their own bodies, anyone else's bodies, nor their daughters' bodies. No "I hate my thighs," no "my belly is so fat," not even "I love your chubby cheeks." That girls are learning to dislike their bodies from culture yes, but also from home, from their body-shaming mothers. So there, Sue's silly sisters.

Also, this may be on a different note all together, but maybe not. I've learned something from Sweet. When she is describing what someone looks like (ie, the substitute teacher yesterday), she says "she has brown skin" rather than "she is black/Hispanic/whatever." (in the midst of a litany of hair color, shirt color, etc) I think this is a profoundly different way to look at people than I learned when I was in kindergarten, and I'm still mulling it over. But I like it.

kathy a. said...

Go, Sweet! And this is how I remember my kids describing other kids in their very diverse daycare / preschool / elementary schools and onward. Kids aren't born with prejudices.

About body images -- I get shamed from the fat haters. My skinny beautiful daughter gets lectures from the other side, often by the same people. Of course, those people lecture a lot anyway.

esperanza said...

W? AW? Interesting development in Albatross #2, that led us to suspend our work at the same time that Albatross #1-related committee was recommending that Albatross #2 suspend our work. Clearly a meeting of the frustrated minds. Hopefully the powers-that-be will see this for the sign that it is.

esperanza said...

Oh, and if you would send up a comforting thought and/or prayer: The son of "Coach" (beloved PE teacher at Sweet's school) and beloved former speech therapist died by suicide yesterday. He was 26.

kathy a. said...

That pretty much sounds like an AW, esperanza, except there will be disgruntled people. As there always are.

kathy a. said...

OMG. My last comment was about the albatrossi. I am so sad and sorry about the death of your family's friend. xoxoxoxo

esperanza said...

I knew you were talking about the albatrossi! There will be disgruntled people, but this is by far the lesser evil.

kathy a. said...

Suicides are just so awful for everyone left behind -- there are always, always the questions of "what could I have done?" And in so many situations, getting past that really dark place at the right moment means everything; people come up from the darkest spot. But that still does not mean that something could have stopped it, when someone was set on that course.

And someone so young. Sending so so so much love. xoxox

kathy a. said...

National suicide prevention lifeline -- call 24/7: 1-800-273-8255
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

esperanza said...

Thanks. I hadn't ever met him, and we know his parents separately (they have been divorced for quite a few years). Still, the ways in which people are intertwined in small communities makes these things affect everyone.

I told Sweet that Coach was not there today because he was very sad because someone he loved died. (She had speculated that maybe he was absent because he had the chicken pox). I didn't want her to hear something else from her friends. We're pretty frank around here about death--it's a regular topic of conversation, just because Daddy has done 16 fireplacing funerals in 2015 already. She was sad that Coach was sad, but not inappropriately so.

esperanza said...

And one last bit of Albatross whining. Some dude emailed to say he was sorry that he "overslept" for a conference call that was at 9:30 am his time. He is a grownup. Even if that were the case, just LIE about why you missed the call, sir. Or better yet, just say you're sorry for missing it. Period. Now I think you're an idiot.

liz said...

Sending my thought to coach and his family.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Happy birthdays and hugs to esperanza.

And hooray for redzil's new baby!

W: pain. Yesterday was one of my worse days, of the "my strong painkillers are insufficient" variety.

AW: at the worst point, Upstairs Cousin took E for a long walk. And I had a really good night.

liz said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESPERANZA!!!

Sue said...

Sending thoughts and prayers to Coach and his family. So very sad...

Sue said...

Happy Birthday esperanza!!!!

Happy Birthday to our eldest son!!! This is the first birthday he's celebrated at home (our home, that is) in 10 years. Tonight, we feast!

kathy a. said...

Happy birthday, Esperanza!

Sue, how great to have your boy home for his.

liz said...

Taking brief break to tell you that, this past Monday I brought MM to a Dem social, where everyone was wearing name tags.

MM put on a name tag, and then made a wee tiny little one for the Captain America that was on his tee shirt.

kathy a. said...

LOL! Gotta love that young man, Liz! :)

Gary said...

Liz, did the tiny name tag say "Steve" or "Cap"?

liz said...

It said, "Captain America" in teeny tiny handwriting.

kathy a. said...

GARY! How's it going?

liz said...

Did you know, I didn't even notice that it was GARY who asked!!! HI GARY!!!!

esperanza said...

Hey there Gary!

QWP, sorry for the bad pain.

Gotta love MM, and his fantastic parents.

Gary said...

Hey all. Things here are fine, if chaotic. Boys are finishing up 8th grade and 6th grade respectively. Impending end of school year is both a whine and an anti-whine. Other than a couple weeks of camp and maybe a week at the beach, they seem determined to play drums and/or argue about who gets to play drums all summer.

Happy birthday to Esperanza and Sue's eldest! Where's the cake?

purple_kangaroo said...

Hi. Nice to see you folks are still here.

Liz said...

Hi PK!!!

WOOT! It's old home week!!!

esperanza said...

PK!! How great to see you! How are you?

Gary, the Baboos and I will be making a Texas Chocolate Sheet Cake (yes, it's a thing) after Sweet gets home from school. We'll let you know when it's ready to eat.

kathy a. said...

Woo! Hi, PK! How ya doing? How are the kids?

Gary, how could your kids be so big already? Much sympathy on the drum wars. Hope y'all have a great summer!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

PK! Gary!

Old Skool Whine: I'm feeling older than usual today. You see, a guy from my high school graduating class plays for Big Local Sports Team. The first shock I experienced was when announcers stopped referring to him as "the young rookie, recently graduated from [Our University]" and started referring to him as "a veteran member of the team." Well, he announced his retirement today! Is "Retirement Age, If You Play Pro Sports" a milestone?

Gary said...

QWP, measuring your age against pro athletes is fraught with peril. So you must pick your comparisons carefully. For example, I'm the same age as Gordie Howe when he finally, this time for sure, retired from hockey. So I don't feel all that old. See also, Satchel Paige, who had these sage words of advice:

"Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you."

kathy a. said...

Gary, how we have missed you!

Sue said...

Gary!! PK!!

That MM knows what it's all about Liz!

We had a lovely cake with custard filling and fresh fruit on top. It was made at a great local bakery.

AW: We've had two great family dinners this week and my MIL has eaten heartily at both meals. Yay!

purple_kangaroo said...

Argh, I just wrote a whole big long comment from my phone and when I hit preview and logged in, Blogger lost it.

I read all the comments. Hugs and congrats and sympathies to all who need them.

We're doing great. I am still struggling with health issues, and half of us have some sort of cold/flu thing at the moment, but otherwise everybody is happy, healthy and thriving.

Having a baby later in life after the first batch are all teens and tweens seriously rocks. I actually get to hand N off to capable hands and take a shower by myself nearly every day, for instance.

As of next month we'll officially have two teenagers. And E (formerly Baby E) will be 10 this summer! Baby N is almost a year and a half old and an utter delight in nearly every way except the sleeping (or lack thereof). She is extremely healthy and happy and doted on by everyone.

Blogger and my cell phone *still* do not play nicely, so I'm going to end my comment and hit post without having been able to scroll up and edit for auto corrects I may have missed in the initial go- round of battling trying to scroll and edit in the little comment box while blogger just laughs at me and keeps bouncing way back up to the top of the page.

purple_kangaroo said...

And happy birthday, Esperanza. If it makes you feel any better, I pretty regularly get asked if I'm my youngest child's grandmother.

esperanza said...

Baby E is not 10. Oh my.

Thanks for the update, PK, and sorry for the phone annoyances. I just got a smartphone at Christmas (Mr E's hand-me-down), and I rarely use it for anything "smart," for reasons such as you describe.

W: scorpions

liz said...

TEN? I remember the summer she was born like it was yesterday!!!

kathy a. said...

Kids these days; growing like crazy when we aren't looking.... ;)

~~~~
AW: Some of you might remember that my former colleague S was killed a couple of years ago. I am very relieved that the accused, against whom there was abundant evidence, was convicted yesterday.

I wish he had not decided to put everybody through a trial -- but it is absolutely his right to do so. And now, thankfully, it is over. S's family, especially her teen daughter, can move along.

Mr. Wonderful will be in a nice safe place for the rest of his life.

esperanza said...

Oh, kathy a. I'm glad it's come to some sort of conclusion, at least.

The mother of the young man who died from suicide on Monday...now *her* mother is in the hospital with some sort of heart condition. They were doing a procedure today. If it doesn't work, then she won't make it. (Details are sketchy; I was hearing all this from a very upset friend of the mother/daughter). I mean, I'm not in charge of the universe, but this seems like a little much for one person to be expected to handle in one week, yannow?

Liz said...

Oh that poor woman. I'm keeping her in my thoughts.

kathy a. said...

Oh, Esperanza. Much love. xoxo

kathy a. said...

My, but it is quiet here. Hope everybody's OK. Passing the chocolate cake.

AW: Yesterday was my anxiety group/class. And I talked too much, which is not news to anybody here. But this talk stuff is helpful, reassuring; and I got some more useful little tools. W: which of course I have been obsessing over. But AW: still.

xoxo

esperanza said...

obsessing over tools eventually leads to making them habits, which is good!

Updates: the mom didn't die and shows some signs of improvement. Apparently there is an infection of unknown origin. Funeral for the son was "uplifting" (according to friend) and full of good energy. (Friend is a strange mix of evangelical Christian and hippie).

AW: spent a good morning with my buddies.

W: came home to a household devoid of all energy whatsoever. I am quite sure it will all reappear at bedtime.

kathy a. said...

Uplifting and good energy don't sound bad for a funeral. And good news the mom is improving. Oy, though.

Hope the energy situation gets back in order. So, BBQ night?

esperanza said...

leftover pizza

Sue said...

I'm glad to hear the mom has rallied. Also, the funeral sounds as nice as it could be in the circumstances. It's just all so sad.

Hugs to all the pixies who are heading into a long weekend. Ours was last week.

Keep up the good work with the anxiety group kathy. You've got this.

esperanza said...

I'm hoping that she'll let me come by on Sunday. I'm preaching in her town and Mr. E has nothing on the schedule after church (what miracle has brought this about I don't know, and I'm not going to question). I told her I'd call when I was done and see if we can get together. I think after the funeral has happened and the extra family has gone and reality sets in, she's going to need a listening ear. Trying to think of other things that might be helpful.

esperanza said...

Also, if I were ever going to write a book on the subject of helping grieving/traumatized people, I'd title it "Beyond the Casserole." Which sounds nicer than "For Heaven's Sake, Don't Bring that Nasty Stouffer's Lasagna"

kathy a. said...

I think "Beyond the Casserole" is perfect. xoxo

Queen of West Procrastination said...

"Beyond the Casserole" is perfect. Just perfect. As is your plan to give support after the rush of the funeral.

kathy a. said...

Esperanza, hope you can see your friend. Sending love.

If you're serious about a "beyond casserole" book, there are ever so many unhelpful things people do. And for your friend, it might be worse that usual because of all of the questions suicide leaves behind -- not to mention that losing a beloved child is unspeakably hard. xoxo

Sue said...

Beyond the Casserole. I would buy that book - perfect title. I hope you are able to see your friend tomorrow.

esperanza said...

My other alternate title: "Do Not Ever, Really I Mean It, Say, 'Let Me Know If You Need Anything.'"

Friend has received many helpful Facebook comments, I'm happy to say, most of the "I'm so sorry, praying for you" variety.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Esperanza, you're very right about the "let me know if you need anything." I sure know I've never followed up on anyone who's said that to me. (On the other hand, something along the lines of, "What do you need, right now?" or "Do you need/may I [suggestion]?" has more concrete results.)

W: my head. I've been on the edge of a migraine all day.

AW: I seem to have only whined about pain this week, but I've had many good days. The weather has been perfect, and we've spent a lot of time outside. Such a relief, since winter involved so many days when we were stuck inside.

kathy a. said...

QWP, hope that potential migraine thing can just get some sleep tonight. oxoxo

I am very much in favor of more concrete suggestions, and what can you use right now. Everybody's mileage varies at the practical things to do point, but -- every family needs food; errands run; chores done; maybe kid shuttling.

And "I am praying for you" is uplifting for some families, but not so much for others. Especially if there is a side of pious passing of the buck. Families need love, and what ever helps keep things going. xoxox

liz said...

My workplace of many years ago set up a thing where we each signed up for a day of dinner that got delivered to our coworker's home by the departmental secretary who lived near by. Those who couldn't cook donated gift cards to restaurants that delivered, and some donated grocery cards for those who could cook but had tight budgets. There were enough of us that we kept the bereaved in dinners for two months, with each of us taking two turns.

kathy a. said...

Go, Liz. That is an awesome setup.

W: I swear, just minutes after I posted something on the book of faces about head scarves that might help someone's mom in chemo -- mentioning that a sister used such things during her cancer treatment -- a meddling sister private messaged me with an admonishment. The formerly cancer sister might not like that, and I should take it down.

On the book of faces, I have yet another pseudonym. I do not list relatives. I did not list the sister who formerly had cancer by name or anything, and this is totally fine with that sister. (A question turned into a 1.5 hour phone call, so I'm really really sure.) But then I got interrogated again by the admonishing sister.

And people wonder why I'm in therapy. xoxo

Miranda said...

I'm really tired of toxic people using my offspring to get to me. I'm put in a horrible position too.

Miranda said...

My mother's called TeenSon and asked for help planinting her flowers. He agrees but she refuses to either ask me or provide rides. And it disrupts my plans for relaxation to drive him there. I've already lost two of my four days to other people. I can't do more but my son is so excited. Ugh.

kathy a. said...

Ick, Miranda.

Sue said...

Hugs all around...

QWP, I hope the migraine monster was tamed, or at least held back enough to minimize the hurt.

kathy a - that is totally ridiculous about your post on the book of faces. Ugh. Just ugh. You don't need this stuff.

(((Miranda)))

Pixies, I feel like I've been remiss in sharing the hosting duties. It's been a crazy time since mid-April. I never travel as much I have this past while. I'm away again next weekend, and the week after I return I'm gone again. I promise I will host once it's all settled down.

AW: The last of all these trips is to the Magic Doctor with All the Needles in the Big City (where I get to see my son and meet his new love!). The doc visit can't come soon enough. All the travel and accompanying changes in sleep, food, etc... well, migraine. Not unbearable, but still dreadful.

Miranda said...

Yeah. Daughter is really upset and doesn't want to go over either. It's causing friction between them and a lot of inner turmoil for Daughter. Poor babes! I don't know how to make it better.

kathy a. said...

((( Miranda )))

Sue, sorry about the fireplacing headache monster, but glad the visit is upcoming.

esperanza said...

So sorry for the family members acting poorly, kathy a and Miranda.

Y'all, there will be no awards this week. I am worn out. I did church this morning and then spent two hours with my friend whose son died this week. It was really good, but really exhausting. And we are in the midst of major flooding in our area. Our house will be fine but rivers are in major flood stage, our church camp has lost a lot of buildings in a historic (as in, highest it's ever been) flood last night. It's all just too much.

I'll leave the comments open till someone does next week's post. Or just keep whining here for another week.

kathy a. said...

((( Esperanza ))) Glad you got that good time with your friend. The flooding just sounds awful. xoxox

Sue said...

(((esperanza))))

KLee said...

Happy late birthday, Esperanza! Hope your day was awesome!

So glad to see you, Dr. Dog and PK! It's been a long time! Hard to believe the kids are so old, but then again, Offspring just finished her freshman year of college.

My mom just finished her second week of combined chemo/radiation. Four weeks to go. But, she's really starting to feel the effects. She's very tired and her memory is suffering a little bit. I'm hoping this will eradicate the tumor, but we'll have to see when she finishes this round.

Those of you on the book of faces will have seen that I shaved my head as a small gesture of support for Mom. I wish there was something more I could do.

Kathy a., that was me that you posted that to about head scarves, and I appreciated the information. If the relative who had cancer was fine with it, then the hell with the Meddlesome Sister.

Esperanza, is there anything that you need? Can we send anything?

kathy a. said...

((( KLee ))) Sending lots of love for your mom and you.

esperanza said...

Klee, thanks for asking. We personally don't need anything and are fine. They are still in rescue and recovery mode upriver. Red Cross arrived quickly yesterday and is asking only for volunteers. So if you're inclined, a donation to them would be appreciated, I'm sure.

Hugs to your mom.

Sue said...

(((KLee))) hugs to you and your mom.

Thinking of you esperanza and the recovery effort.

liz said...

Sending hugs to everybody.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh boy, hugs for everyone.

I'll do this week's whining thread. I'll get it going right away.