I was wondering when the Whining Brigadoon would appear, since I am feeling whiny. I navigated here looking for it and . . . this is a week I am responsible for making Brigadoon appear.
Oopsy daisy.
Pixies, let 'er rip. I'll be back later to join in.
~ Redzils, the little pixie that could
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Whatever Works
About Wednesday Whining
Wednesday Whining is a weekly blog with rotating hosts. Whines and Anti-Whines, both big and small, are welcome! Our purposes are mutual support and sharing a few laughs along the way.
The Wednesday Whining Community is diverse, and strives to be safe, welcoming, and supportive. To this end, comments that are personally abusive or otherwise disparaging [regarding race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation] will be deleted by moderators, along with spam and self-promotion.
The Wednesday Whining Community is diverse, and strives to be safe, welcoming, and supportive. To this end, comments that are personally abusive or otherwise disparaging [regarding race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation] will be deleted by moderators, along with spam and self-promotion.
FAQ
Q: When does Wednesday Whining appear?
A: The Whiner's Ball commences no later than Tuesday, and ends when Awards are given (usually Thursday in theory, but definitely before Monday).
Q: Awards? Really?
A: Yes, really. Traditional awards include Style [music, poetry, etc.], Old Skool [piddly little whines], and Elevated Risk of Mullet [funniest line in a whine], but other hand-crafted awards may be granted at the host's discretion, and nominations from commenters are encouraged.
Q: Can I whine about someone who just does not "get it"?
A: The Cluestick Posse is on hand for persons in need.
Q: Is there a mascot?
A: Ralph is the mascot.
Q: Are there other traditions I should know about?
A: The passing of virtual refreshments is appreciated.
Q: How did this all get started anyhow?
A: Phantom Scribbler was our muse and host for two years.
Q: What was the first prize ever awarded?
A: The Playdough Violin
A: The Whiner's Ball commences no later than Tuesday, and ends when Awards are given (usually Thursday in theory, but definitely before Monday).
Q: Awards? Really?
A: Yes, really. Traditional awards include Style [music, poetry, etc.], Old Skool [piddly little whines], and Elevated Risk of Mullet [funniest line in a whine], but other hand-crafted awards may be granted at the host's discretion, and nominations from commenters are encouraged.
Q: Can I whine about someone who just does not "get it"?
A: The Cluestick Posse is on hand for persons in need.
Q: Is there a mascot?
A: Ralph is the mascot.
Q: Are there other traditions I should know about?
A: The passing of virtual refreshments is appreciated.
Q: How did this all get started anyhow?
A: Phantom Scribbler was our muse and host for two years.
Q: What was the first prize ever awarded?
A: The Playdough Violin
56 comments:
yay, redzils!
OK, so i went to this place to do this thing, and -- something unbloggable happened. so, we all waited around while it got sorted, and finally heard that none of the planned things were happening today. 4 hours down the tube, but i did get to spend a couple of them chattin' around with colleagues, which is an anti-whine.
also, very sweet and lovely weather today.
Middle of the night stomach bug! Life passing before eyes, or at least everything I'd eaten in the previous 15 hours or so. Gosh it was miserable.
That was early yesterday -- spent the morning napping and heaving, and the afternoon sipping sprite and lying around. Today I'm weak but on the mend.
Oh, and Redzils, at least you figured it out on Tuesday. It was halfway through Wednesday the time I pulled that trick . . .
Got 2.5 hrs sleep. No one to blame but myself and Charlaine Harris. Obsessive reader + new book = WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF?
Madeleine, I hope your bug has truly passed.
Thanks, liz. I'm feeling ok-ish today. Not sure that turkey sandwich for dinner last night was a great idea, but I'm still in motion.
I discovered last night that I have a major passport expiration timing issue. Oops. That's what I was supposed to be doing in April. I figured out that if I can get an appointment for the day after I return from one work trip, I just might have a new passport in time for the next work trip. And the second one is less critical, so.
But the consulate isn't taking appointments for that day yet. So I'll be checking their site every day and feeling whiney about my own failure to properly handle a basic but very important problem for which I had five years of warning. Five years, pixies. Sigh.
Madeleine--
5 years is far too long for someone to be expected to remember something. Just saying....
(don't know if that made sense, but I'm just saying that for me, every time I think 'oh, I have five years to get to that', it is a total guarantee of a proverbial all-nighter the night before the time is up...and suddenly my oldest baby is eight....and where did the time go.....and etc.)
And, hope the stomach bug is over and done.
We are dealing with a somewhat virtual stomach bug with Neighbor Boy. Two weeks ago we had a small amount of bark after a mango lassi and some indian food (which not surprisingly, but sadly) has turned him off Indian food possibly for good. Since then, just repeated complaints that "my tummy feels funny" accompanied by sometimes sitting in front of the toilet, but then running and playing five minutes later.
Can't figure it out. Almost always happens before school, but then woke up with it during the night last night. SOmetimes in the middle of running and playing.
Not that I wish for bark (that being my phobia) but I just want whatever this is to reveal itself so it can be fixed....
also would like to fix some other medical things for him...
Sorry for so many medical whiny details---just needed an outlet for my motherly worries...
Thanks,
Neighbor Lady
ack, hope the passport whine gets resolved!
poor neighbor boy.
w: i just noticed that i scheduled both the mammogram AND the dreaded deep cleaning of the teeth for the same day. in different cities. could kick self.
Yay redzils - our Brigadoon hero again!!
Madeleine, hope you feel better soon. Teh Ick, well, it's ick. Been there, done that, the t-shirt got bark on it. Also, I hope the passport stuff gets sorted. When I lost mine last year, it wasn't very difficult actually. The staff at the passport office were very helpful.
NL - hugs for all of you, especially Neighbour Boy.
Kathy a - dontcha hate it when that happens. Schedule conflicts are just wrong on so many levels.
Whine: Was supposed to come home Monday night. A certain airline which shall not be named was delayed by two hours, so I missed my connecting flight home in the evening. There is only ONE flight into our city from connecting city a day. Thus, 24 hours of unplanned time waiting until the evening take-off.
Anti-whine: Extra day off. A bit of shopping at Uber Mall, but not much because I don't do so well in malls. Lots of airport time to read and listen to music.
Whine: Tired. So. Fireplacing. Tired. The weekend was so much fun, but it's caught up to me. I just want to curl up and sleep. Anywhere.
*head thumps on keyboard*
yay, glad you had a great weekend and finally got home, sue!
sadly, my mistake is not an actual scheduling conflict -- i can make both appointments. it's just that i hate both kinds, to the extent that i usually require deep breathing and the promise to reward myself to get through them, but instead the whole shebang will take most of the day, including travel. the deep cleaning will be worse -- love my dentist and staff, but omg i hate to be there, and she will be rooting around my gums for 1.5 hours -- and it is the second appointment.
On the upside, Kathy A, you get them both done in one very unpleasant day rather than having two ruined days.
To offset: schedule your favorite dinner and comfort film for after. Mebbe schedule a massage or other pampering thing for the next day?
Sue, glad you got home safely. You need one of those hotel "Do not disturb" signs for your office door...What? they frown on clergy using those signs??
Hope you find a nap spot more comfy than your keyboard! :)
Kathy a.: Definitely a massage or nice dinner day, if you ask me!
weird whine: The tip of my nose has this weird feeling like a cobweb or hair keeps brushing against it. But it isn't. Hope it is connected to some nerve weirdness like a crick in the neck (which I have) as opposed to something more scary (which I hope I don't have). Aaaagh. Pixies, my overactive imagination is not helpful with medical things!!!
Antiwhine: it is gorgeous here!
Also, since Neighbor Boy is currently on a lactose free diet, he misses "breakfast at lunch" which was the menu option for lunch today. he was sad, so we are going to have (lactose-free) pancakes for dinner!!! Yummmm!
--Neighbor Lady
Also, I keep thinking about our Anonymous from last week. Sending hugs her way.
--Neighbor Lady
p.s. and thanks for all the hugs for Neighbor Boy. I know in the scheme of things, these are small issues...but the hugs still help.
thanks Neighbor Lady.
I am ok. But a bit scared at how OK I am ... I feel frozen if that makes sense. I am not feeling intense anger or hurt or sad. Or happy or anything. I am just existing.
I cried myself to sleep every night last week until exhaustion won and now I just collapse at night. Having a toddler and a busy job has kept me distracted most of the time. But what to do? The only thing I have acted on is to take a chunk of money from our savings and move it to a separate account. I have tried to call a counselor recommended by our former pastor but the guy is not calling back.
That's it. I don't know what to do. I know eventually I have to decide... divorce or not? I don't know the answer to that. Right now, I want to try to work it out. But I don't know if that's because I am still having a hard time believing it even happened or if the prospect of being single (and a single parent) seems terrible or if that is really what I want. I don't know what to do.
Hugs and naps to Sue. Hoping for some GI relief for Neighbor Boy.
Anonymous, I think it is probably fairly normal to be in shock for a bit. You might need to let the feelings sit for a while before you are ready to do anything much with them. The anger will probably come later.
If that counselor doesn't call back, though, you might want to get another referral. Or just leave repeated messages until he gets the urgency!
Anonymous, take good care of yourself. Eat good things and stay hydrated. Then google up your local organization of social workers for a therapist recommendation (couples or individual).
Anonymous,
Sometimes "just existing" is more than good enough.
Hang in there...
Know that the pixies are pulling for you!
--Neighbor Lady
(((( anonymous )))) you don't need to decide anything right now, except to take care of yourself and your toddler, and hold some doors open. [which is why i'm glad you moved some money.] day at a time; hour at a time. xoxo
liz's suggestion of broadening the search for a therapist is a good one. your doctor may have tips; trusted friends, also.
UC berkeley has a "parents network" with loads of tips about every last thing you could think of, including therapists, and that was helpful to us during a big [different] family crisis; i don't know if there is something similar available in your area. we went with a family therapist, who met with us individually and also did some group sessions -- and he was great. in retrospect, though, i could have used a bunch more individual therapy. like they say on the airplanes, apply your own oxygen mask before helping others.
Hugs for Anonymous. I can only echo what the other pixies have already wisely stated. Take good care of you and your toddler. Try to pamper yourself if you are able - a nap, a lunch with a good listener who won't gossip after, a massage, pedicure...whatever will nurture you and remind you that you are worth it.
AW: Great work out today. Good run intervals despite no workouts since last Wednesday!
W: How on earth can Texas pack five pounds onto me in only five days?????? That is just wrong. Wrong, I tell you!!! Darn you Chicken-Fried Pickles!!!!!
Our favorite Chinese restaurant has Fried Mars Bars on the menu (a holdover from when it was a fish-n-chips place, I believe). We haven't ordered it . . . yet.
Whine: cannot convince Snuggly Girl that while it is quicker to *type* FTW than to spell out "for the win," it is in fact slower to *say out loud*. Two extra syllables. Srsly.
note to self: do not under any circumstances confuse FTW with WTF.
Self-awareness award for kathy a!
My whine is of the prom dress variety. Prom dresses are typically cut for the junior figure (small chest), but by 18, many girls have "blossomed". My petite, busty daughter is having a hard time finding a dress that fits her body, as well as her vision.
AW: DD said, without any prompting--"I don't want to spend a fortune on a dress I'll only wear once".
Sending virtual chicken soup for all ailing pixies!
Emily, I totally relate to this whine (and anti-whine!)
Expand the search to include separates. There are beaded or sequined tops that can be paired with a skirt (especially if you stick with black). Also, Nordstroms has quite a few not-too-pricey options for the petite yet busty. I can heartily recommend Eliza J. as a designer for this type of thing.
I wear this one quite often. I just found out it comes in purple and blue, too!
You may want to splurge on a good bra for your daughter that comes with adaptable and/or clear straps.
My whine is that I'm an introvert facing a task that requires extrovert-tendencies.
I'm doing surprisingly well with my training for the big 60-mile charity walk, but the challenge of fundraising is keeping me awake at night. It's a conundrum. I have received enough money from people I love and who love me that I feel driven to complete the walk, which means I *must* raise the rest of the money. But it's a daunting prospect because I am an introvert.
And because I've never done fundraising before, I don't even know what kinds of things I can do, beyond mailing letters. I'm researching and finding ideas that seem possible, but how to take those first steps? I don't even know how to find that inside me.
In other whines, for the third semester in a row, a third of my class failed my class. (It's an external portfolio review. If they pass portfolio, I get to assign grades. If they don't pass, well, they don't pass.) I'm worried about that rate, now that it's clear it's a pattern.
Amy, is there a link to a site for us to donate? If so, POST IT HERE.
And about the class, tell your next incoming class that a third of your students every year fall because they don't complete their portfolios and that there is NO WAY for you to pass someone who doesn't complete their portfolio. And that you will reward the class with a pizza party if everyone completes their portfolio.
Also, Amy, ask anyone who's ever sold you their kid's girl scout cookies or boy scout mulch.
Liz, I love the idea of a pizza party. I've been doing bagels and cream cheese -- maybe that's not incentive enough?
There is a more depressing statistic from these past three semesters. I started my class with 20 students (that's the cap for a developmental course at my community college). I have only taken 11 or 12 to Portfolio each time, all of whose portfolios *were* complete. It's just that 8 or 9 dropped out before Portfolio and 3 of the ones who did finish didn't produce passing work.
For one reason or another, I have had a higher than average attrition rate lately, but all the instructors agree that sometimes that happens, just like sometimes you get a group that is Teh Awesome! I plan to talk with my coordinator about my rates before next Fall, when I teach this particular course again. I will surely let you all know what he says about it.
Here is the link. Spread the word to anyone who is looking for a great cause to contribute to! Ask your employer about matching funds! It's a great way to maximize the impact of your donation. Also, there is a monthly plan, if a one-time contribution is not possible at this time. :)
www.the3day.org/goto/amy.pavlov
If you cannot contribute, it's cool. I love all pixies, just for listening to me kvetch out loud.
P.S. Liz, the reciprocal solicitation is another great idea, but I always buy my cookies and popcorn from tables outside the local grocery because I literally know only one person with a Scout connection, but she lives a zillion miles from me: KLee. :\ Does it seem to anyone else like I need more friends in my neighborhood?
It does sound that way. One thing that helps for soliciting donations (says someone who does it but HATES it) is having someone sit next to you and hold your hand while you do it.
Call your friends nationwide.
Email your friends nationwide (send out one email and get it over with).
amy, good luck with the fundraising! i'm no good with the hard sell, either. ;)
AW: some professional friends are expecting TWINS!
W: they expect the babies to be born extremely early, and spend a long time in NICU. [due date is august; mama's on complete bedrest.] so, crossing fingers.
AW: they live nearby, and are taking me up on my offer to help! they timidly asked how i feel about cats [hahaha!], and explained they want to line up some friends and neighbors to visit their cats while they are busy.
kathy a., babies and cats and a chance to be useful! It's an anti-whine trifecta! Fingers crossed that the bedrest works.
liz, great suggestion about the calling or emailing! my friend the fundraising queen likes to do personal calls; i really prefer emails so i can craft what i want to say nicely, and let them think it over.
I'm SO not good about the fundraising thing either, so I totally get that. Good luck AMy!
kathy a - congrats on your friends' good news. I have twin nephews and remember what an exciting yet anxious time it was as we waited for them. You are the perfect cat-looker-after person!
Anti-whine: Just had a great talk with a person in my congregation. She is so great and I really miss her when she heads South to warmer climate in the winter.
Whine: She was wearing a bunch of cologne/perfume. It was a lovely floral scent, but has almost instantly brought on a fierce headache that is making the computer screen VERY bright.
Anti-whine: I've clearly identified a trigger.
Whine: Gotta turn this computer off and take some Advil. ~sigh~
liz--thanks--I forwarded the links to dd. We already have various bra options--I think Nordstroms lingerie dept. should dedicate a fitting room to my family:-).
amy--how does the portfolio work--do the students have intermediate due dates? It's frustrating when students are unsuccessful!
sue--sympathies on the headache--certain fragrances are also a trigger for me. It's hard on my teenagers--I have to approve their fragrance choices (because they don't generally get the idea of *moderation* in scent).
fireplacity. my son really blew it. he begged for time off work to get his root canal, then slept until 3 hours past the appointment. called practically in tears because not only is his tooth not fixed, but he's afraid he'll be fired.
so, um, i guess the antiwhine is that son is apparently speaking to me again.
Lots of tears here.
9-year-old with leukemia died this morning. He had peaceful smiles for his family the last few days, and they are taking comfort in their faith, but it is still so hard.
Crying, and holding my children close.
(((PK))) I am so sorry.
(((( PK )))))
(((PK)))
(((Anonymous)))
Chicken noodle soup for the sick pixies, margaritas for the mamas(and others) in need of them, and prom dresses in reasonable cuts for real women.
W: Minor dental surgery for eldest child has become less minor and a bit traumatizing for everyone involved because OMG, TEH blood, the how of which remains somewhat unexplained but has led to a marked increase in the alcohol consumption of the parental units involved and probably lifelong dental anxiety for the child.
AW: Son's nighttime wanderings alleviated by allowing the dog to sleep in his room so that he has someone to talk to whenever he wakes up.
Hugs to PK and family!
Hugs to anonymous.
Hugs to Kathy a and her son.
Actually, hugs to all the pixies!
and chocolate. lots of dark chocolate.
And Days, what a brilliant solution with the dog and the sleep!
--Neighbor Lady
Oh PK, I'm so sorry. Kathy a - I feel so badly for your son. I can completely understand how upsetting that must be for him.
Hugs, chocolate and wine for all.
Clergy meeting this afternoon. No one warned me that it was going to be a soccer game and *I* was going to be the ball that was kicked around.
Remember all those damn breakfast meetings? Well, clergy jerk from that church decided today was the day to take a few kicks up my arse in front of all of our peers in the city.
Nice.
I responded with class, if I do say so myself. I made sure that his actions reflected more about him than anything he said about me. On the other and, my inside words are unbloggable, even here in pixie land.
days, i hope things settle swiftly on the dental surgery front. lotsa blood doesn't sound very happy. my beloved would totally approve of dog therapy for the other problem -- or all problems, frankly -- if i told him about this blog, which i'm not.
more hugs for PK, just 'cause.
sue, i'ma feeling my cluestick twitching.
my son didn't get fired; by good fortune, his boss only asked if he wanted to come in today, and he said no. i think he is going to see if the dentist -- who is really a wonderful dad we know, and likes my son -- might do a saturday appointment.
sue, thanks for your kindness. i know my son's upset, and the person he is rightly upset with is himself. he just keeps learning lessons the hard way, often more than once. he was fired from this job before for missing too many days, the last instance being when he overslept because one of his deadbeat roommates at the time didn't pay the electric bill, so the alarm didn't go off. and today? no excuse.
kathy a.--I think watching your kid learn lessons the hard way one of the most difficult parts of parenting. {{{HUGS}}}
Emily,
The portfolio system at my college is kind of complicated, but it's a pretty good system.
The reading assignments and writing assignments are universal to the program. I can add supplemental reading and writing, but the core work is designed by the full-timers who teach the course. (It changes each school year.) I set the specific due dates, but we all follow the same pattern of rough drafts and due dates so that the students have the minimum required number of drafts of each essay. Essays are 4-5 pages each. It's a 6-credit hour course with an in-class tutor, so we run it like a lab and they can do all their work in class.
So, it goes like this:
They write three major essays. The first two go to peer group two times, then get turned into me for feedback. Once they've gotten the second essay back, they choose which of those 2 essays they'll put in their portfolio. Then it goes to group one more time before a final revision for portfolio.
The third major essay must go into portfolio, so it goes to group twice, to me for feedback, to group again, then into portfolio.
They also have to write an impromptu essay on the last day before portfolio review that goes into the portfolio, and they have sundry assignments they turn in as well. The pieces most important to passing are the two major essays and the impromptu. Regarding the impromptu, it *is* possible to blow it but still pass based on the quality of the major essays.
So, in a nutshell, they have plenty of opportunity over 15 weeks to get their major essays polished enough to pass, but there are a couple of reasons why some still don't pass. First, this is a developmental course. The students in my class are often (not always) learning disabled or under-prepared, meaning for one reason or another, they missed critical writing lessons in high school. Second, this course also sees a lot of students who are, ahem, unwilling to put forth the work necessary. This group frequently is made up of first-semester students who think just showing up will get them their D so they can move on. Third, some students just don't learn what they need to learn in 15 weeks. For instance, I had one fail my class last semester who just passed it this time.
That was surely more info than you wanted, but I've gotta split to go feed a toddler, so I don't have time to edit it down. Sry! :\
Ever wonder JUST how messed up the church really is? Well, step right up folks, because we have Teh Dysfunction perfected. I give this one a definite 9 out of 10 - almost full marks.
Another church in our area just started life with a new minister. Within FOUR WEEKS the Presbytery is involved in beginning a process of CONFLICT RESUOLUTION. Sorry for the caps, but it's only been four fireplacing weeks!!! How much could possibly go wrong in that time????? Apparently quite a bit.
Anyway, it's not my church (whew!) and I've been asked to provide pastoral care to the church secretary who has been horribly triangled in the deeper matter here, which is about power and control (aren't they all?). Also, she has terminal ovarian cancer - is still working - and is a member of said congregation. Problem is, right now she has no minister because hers is busy causing troubles that will take years to unravel.
So - I'm here to listen and support this poor woman, who is dying but still working at "her" church because she feels it's the right thing to do. I will gladly be a listening ear and a non-anxious presence for her.
I think Jesus just brought up a little of his breakfast over this one. Just sayin'.....
Sue--don't even know what to say about that--definitely new levels of dysfunction.
Amy--thanks for writing all that--I'm a teacher, too, so I find detailed descriptions fascinating/useful. You must work very hard on that class!
Oh Sue, I'm speechless. Please send my sympathetic thoughts to her.
You all know that phrase, "Jesus wept"?
The new pixie version: "Jesus barked"
Or at least that's what hopped into my head.
Amy, that structure sounds really solid.
Thanks. I'm just glad I can be a listening ear to this poor woman whose own minister is such a tool.
And yes, I think we have a new Pixie translation of that verse: "Jesus Barked"
liz for some major award, for the pixie translation!
sue, that is really sad in so many ways. i'm so glad you can be there for that church secretary -- glad that someone thought to find alternate pastoral care.
amy, that sounds like an excellent system for helping students learn to write. got no sympathy for the ones who don't bother with the work.
AW: boobs are good! no need to go back for a year, which is a relief after the every 6 months schedule. my teeth and gums are very, very clean. i'm rinsing with a little beverage, to help the healing process.
Late to the party this week: Mini and I just got back from a retreat with some pastor friends.
AW for grandma who filled in with Sweet.
W for the respiratory virus which attacked Sweet, then me, then great-grandma. At least it has not morphed into pinkeye with the adults. Nor hives, which Sweet had for about 5 days off and on. (I think they were virus related, but could have had something to do with the pinkeye medicine or smoked turkey. Hmm). I am tired of coughing.
AW: Sweet's preschool promotion program was tonight. She "participated" in the "dance" by standing extremely still on her nametagged spot and not moving. She was still pretty cute, if the smallest child in the entire school.
It's hard to absorb all the whines in one reading, but special hugs for anonymous and p_k's friends.
oy, esperanza! the hives, the virus, the pinkeye...
so glad you had a good retreat! and yay for sweet baboo's promotion!! you are giving me a flashback to my youngest sister's preschool promotion -- she was a preemie, too -- it involved carrots. ??? but anyway, i'm going to go with "small but mighty," because sweet can swing it when she decides the time is right. ;)
Amy, I am having major deja vu reading about your developmental writing classes since my college job was as an inclass tutor. I stopped doing it in 2008 because, frankly, I couldn't handle the group of students who refused to get with the program. I loved the night class students the best because they would do whatever it took to pass and to learn.
However, the job taught me a LOT about using the fine art of persuasion on the unwilling. :)
Hugs to the other pixies.
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