Good morning pixies!
How is everyone doing on this summer morning? Thanks kathy for hosting for two weeks!
I've got hot coffee and fresh fruit to share this morning. It's my day off and it will be a quiet one. We've got some rain coming in from the west and I've got a good book to read, so that pretty much sums up the day for me.
What's happening with you?
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Grocery run, grandparents coming, swimming lessons, then night one of VBS. Tired just thinking about it all.
MIL has, indeed, had a stroke. Left side affected, but not paralyzed, so far as they can tell.
MS and his sister are on their way to the hospital. My SIL is the primary health-care proxy, so next steps are her decision.
((( Liz ))) ((( Teddy ))) ((( MS, MM, SIL, everybody )))
Oh, Liz. Many hugs to all of you.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you everybody.
Much love, Liz. We'll all be thinking of you and yours. xoxo
OK, over in my support group for the bad disease -- everybody was really decent despite the extended lashing out yesterday. And Ms. Lashout has done a 180 mood-wise. It is tres peculiar. But another odd thing is, it's still all "me me me me." She has never once responded to anybody else's situation (which, you know, is usually the point of a support group). Maybe I spend too much time feeling weird vibes, but nobody needs that on top of this fireplacing disease my SIL has.
AW: My beloved is taking off tomorrow for a backpacking trip -- he and his friend haven't done this for 2 years, so he is very excited. He even got a collapsible fishing pole! Tonight will be all about packing the food and equipment. W: will miss him, and the dog will be miserable.
(((Kathy))) Could Ms. Lashout be a sufferer of the disease?
Not this neurodegenerative disorder -- it's rare and not contagious, and she says her husband has it. But something freaky is goin' on.
(((((Liz)))) So many hugs and good wishes to you and your family. xoxoxo
AW: Boy scouts are finally catching up with GS; the ban on LGBT leaders is lifted!
W: It's a good thing we don't normally need AC. Up to 80F in the house, and I'ma melting.
Ugh, I had a long comment, and Blogger ate it. Will try to explain...no. Is too much. Lemmee sum up......
I am so sorry about Teddy, Liz. Wish there was more I could do or say. Hope MM and MS are buddies again.
It is hot here. Car thermometer read 109. I am in mid immolation.
Bleah on the nasty people, Kathy. God don't like ugly. I often feel like all I post here lately is me, me, me, so I don't have much room to talk. It hasn't stopped me yet.
ICK! On pee cots and poops in the pool. Alas, my house is also too dirty for people to see, and I am lazy.
Sending hugs to all pixies, just in case.
KLee, you whine about anything you want, even if it is me, me, me. You have a lot going on right now.
It is the hottest week of the summer here too. 106 when I got in the car though supposedly the outdoor temp was "only" 95. All that lovely rain we got earlier in the summer has (and will continue to) raised the humidity level to "intolerable."
VBS. Day 1. Over. My 8th grade assistant, who is fabulous, already wants to throw rocks at them, if that tells you anything.
So even 8th graders hate VBS - all the more reason to opt out next year.
Sorry about all the hot weather folks. Try not to melt. We had a hot day here on Saturday, but it's over now. We're back to room temperature, which is fine by me.
So many hugs Liz.
kathy, that's horrible about LashOut person on the forum. Is there a moderator who could school her???
MM and MS are friends again. I pointed out to MS that he is being unreasonable though understandable given his circumstances and can he try to lengthen his very short fuse? He took that pretty well.
I explained to MM that it's not just that his grandmother is ill and near her time that's making his dad short-tempered. It's that he has to help make decisions about her care and about removing her from life support and he wants to go ask his mommy to make it all better, and he'll never be able to do that again.
Please God, when it's my time to go, make it so my son doesn't have to make any decisions about when or how.
((((Liz))))
((( Liz ))) Thinking of all of you. xoxox
KLee, you are never me me me! Besides, you've had a lot going on lately. xoxo
Sorry for whining so much about Ms. Lashout. A moderator was probably doing some things behind scenes. People mostly tried to address all these grossly inaccurate assumptions. A troubling thing is that she was clearly criticizing unnamed members for keeping their loved one at home, which is an individual decision that depends on many factors -- this one older man who cared for his wife until her death 3 months ago thought he might have said something to upset her!
No apologies for whining - that's what we're here for, right?
(((KLee))) You've got so much happening right now. Please whine freely. :)
KLee, whine away. I am all MIL MIL MIL right now, and you've got way more going on than me. Sending hugs and love.
Liz, that was an awfully tough conversation to have with MM. But you handled it very well. Just wish you didn't need to. xoxoxo
They've taken her off the ventilator. She's actually breathing on her own. Estimates are 3 days tops. However, she has surprised us before.
((( Liz ))) xoxox
((((Liz)))))
Oh, Liz. Blessings to all of you in the waiting time.
Thank you all.
She's gone.
I'm so so sorry Liz. I keep you and your family on my prayers.
How are MM and MS?
((( Liz ))) ((( MM and MS ))) Many thoughts about your amazing Teddy. xoxoxo
Oh Liz, I'm so sorry. xooxoxo
Oh, Liz...
I send you my most enormous hugs and wishes for peace.
XOXOXO
Oh Liz, I'm so sorry. So much love to you and your family.
((((((liz and family)))))) Oh, Liz. I am so sorry.
Many hugs to you and your family.
--Neighbor Lady
Hello all! I'm sorry to have been so absent.
Liz, I am lifting you up in my thoughts and wishing you and your family peace during this time. *hugs*
KLee, if I could lift some of your burden or fan you with some cool, dry air, I would do it in a heartbeat. xoxo
Much love to all the pixies!
Amy (the texture of things)
(((Liz))) (((everybody else))) I need to haunt Facebook less and come here instead. I've missed you, friends!
Liz- I know a couple of snipers so I could technically help fulfill your wishes in your final days, but that's probably not what you had in mind. My wish for you, then, is that you die peacefully in your sleep like my grandfather, and not screaming like the passengers in his car. Seriously, though- you know where to find me if you ever need someone to talk to- day or night. My cell's listed on my FB :-)
Much love to all the Pixies! I'll be back, I promise!
-Deb
I have an ongoing whine, and what better place to share it than here! I'm FB silent about this because I worry that if I say anything, I will end up saying something that hurts some feelings.
We have homeschooled for the past two years, during which time I have been working part time. I could not have done this without L, my longtime sitter. L has been watching my littles since the Tot (now 11) was 2. She was on board with homeschooling my kids, and she helped me by assisting them with their work on the days the kids were with her, usually three days per week. Understandably, over the course of these many years, we have become friends. She is the closest thing to an Auntie my kids have.
But that's over. After watching kids in her home for 14 years, she decided to get a day job. I find myself with no one to watch my kids for the three days a week that I work, and I had already signed my (annually renewing) contract for the 2015-2016 school year.
I am very sad. I want to say "heartbroken", but I feel like people will think I'm exaggerating. I'm really not. My kids were counting on spending time at L's house this summer with their friends (whom they have known their whole lives), but L gave us -- literally -- three weeks' notice. No summer care, no school year care, no more homeschooling (because I don't have someone to watch them). I feel stuck and unsupported because no one IRL seems to think this is a big deal.
Homeschooling works for my kids, as hard as it can be sometimes. We found a Montessori that is converting to a public charter, but it's a 25-minute drive one way -- not in the direction of work. We can't afford private. My other option is to find a nanny, but something about that idea feels like trying to find a New Mommy too soon after a divorce. Bleh.
Sincerely,
Whiny Whinerton (aka Texture Amy)
Oh, Liz. I'm so sorry. We're thinking of you out in CA.
So lovely to see all the long-time pixies bringing the care and concern for you Liz. We really are a great circle of women, aren't we?
((((Amy))) That certainly sounds like a big deal to me! Three weeks is not enough time to get your head around such a huge change, never mind all the practical implications.
Amy, what a mess! I'm sorry. Very disappointing to have so little notice after such a long relationship.
Liz, lots of love. xoxo
Thank you all. You are buoying me!!! Deb, I'll let MM know you're available should he have the need.
Amy, that sucks. I am so very sorry that you are being left high-and-dry like that. Are any of the other kids in her care being similarly left? Can you do a sharing/caring situation with their parents until you find something else?
Amy, that's such a distressing situation! And three weeks is such a short time for arranging for any childcare situation, much less one like you've had.
W: I think Li'l E and I are succumbing to the Traditional Camp Cold. Not surprising, considering how little we slept over the weekend, but still: summer colds are the worst.
So good to see all of you, YT and Amy and debangel!
Liz, I'm so sorry about your mother-in-law. Much love and hugs to you and MS and MM and everyone whose lives she touched.
QWP sorry about the summer cold. Blech.
Amy, I have no advice, but I know it's hard to have the rug pulled out from under you like that.
QWP, summer colds are THE WORST.
Thanks for the suggestions and support, all. My situation does feel very Rug-Pully-Outy. In a lot of ways, I feel like she broke up with me. Over the past few weeks, she's been texting me, telling me how much she misses my kids. smh. I want to tell her, "You Did This to Yourself. Quit Calling Me," but she still has tater's favorite swim suit, so I have to see her one more time.
Other families were also blindsided by this, but none are left too much in the lurch because they are all teachers who are off for summer. (L is a former teacher, watching teachers' kids. I was the oddball who found her.) L waited for the school year to end to close doors, which was the right thing to do by them. I was already off for the summer, being on the university calendar.
All of the other kids who would be coming back next fall are preK age or Kindergarten, so the other families are simply shifting their kids to day cares or school. I guess I am too. The tot is okay with it (she loved the Montessori school open house), but tater is NOT. He is 6.5y now, and he does NOT want to go to school. He doesn't do well studying something if he's not interested. While homeschooling, I have followed his interests. I am hoping the child-led approach at Montessori will work well enough. Fingers crossed!
Amy
(((Amy)))
QWP, may the cold depart quickly!
Liz, thinking of you and yours. Remember things being a little foggy with odd drizzles, the first few days. xoxo
Amy, sorry about your boy. Are you sending both to the Montessori school? Because that is probably a perfect philosophy for him -- even if he is not thrilled right now.
Yes, kathy, both kids will go to the Montessori. My daughter will be in upper elementary room, and my son in lower elementary. He went to a Montessori for preK/K, and it fit him decently. He doesn't like to do anything five days a week, though, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'm thinking that this is a one-year solution, with option to continue. KWIM?
Amy
Oh, Luz, I am so sorry about Teddy. She sounds like she was an amazing woman. MS did a wonderful job, bringing her story to everyone. I wish there were some words that would help. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and if there's anything at all I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.
Welcome back to Amy, Debangel, and YT! I really don't feel like YT ever really was "gone" because I see so much of her on FB, but I've missed Amy and Deb. Now, if we could just get Dr. Dog to come back for more than just one blip at a time, and have Phantom swing by, all would be right with the WWWorld.
I feel terribly guilty about dumping all my crap on the collective Pixies.... I know, that's what we're here for, but I'd really like have a long, uninterrupted time of good news so whining isn't necessary. Granted, there are good bits among the bad, so that's what I'm going to do today -- count my blessings, instead on enumerating my woes.
Mom had an MRI yesterday that we weren't expecting. A doctor who is working on the oncology floor comes to tell her that they've gotten a preliminary report, and there is shrinkage of the tumor. W her oncologist visited later that day (Dr. Butthead) and says that the tumor is fully half of what it was, and her white blood cell count is up to 1.8. Praise God, maybe she's turned the corner, finally!
I have a good friend in my theater company who has triplets. They are 24, and all such good kids. There are 2 girls and 1 boy -- daughter 1 was a math/chemistry major, and she's in grad school, getting her master's; daughter 2 graduated college with honors and is currently serving a year (at least) in AmeriCorps, which is like the Peace Corps, but based here in the US; and son is also a graduate student in something like sports therapy. Son is a cancer survivor, having lived through a cancer in his leg at 15 years old. This summer, Son is running across the US for cancer research. He's running as a survivor, and in honor of others who have touched his life. Unbeknownst to me, he had heard my mom's story from his mother, and put her on his list. Yesterday, he got up, wrote her name on his leg with a grease pencil to carry her spirit with him, and he ran in her honor. This is someone he's never met. It's the mother of a friend of his Mother's -- a complete stranger, but her ran for her anyway. I was so beyond touched. I have to admit I bawled, but it was a happy, feeling-very-blessed cry.
My daughter got word the other day that she was awarded a small scholarship to go towards her Study Abroad. It's only $500, but it's $500 we don't have to end up paying back.
I have so much to be thankful for. Things could be so much worse.
(((KLee)))) Yay for the good news about your mom, and also yay for awesome people like your friend's son making the world a better place.
Also, please let go of the guilt about whining here. That's what the space is for, right? And it helps us (at least me) whine less other places. Well, I should really be better about that actually, but anyway, that's what this space is for!
Speaking of that, my whine is that Neighbor Boy is off at sleepaway camp for the first time ever. And it is hard (for me, haven't hear from him yet, but in pictures he does not look happy. but, i know they are snapshots in time, but still.....) Realized he had never even had a sleepover (the ones he did were at our house)...how did we miss that!?!? Proud that he wanted to go, but then as he was going he was very very nervous and didn't want to go. Hoping this will be a good thing for him. He comes back in a week and a half, so if he doesn't like it at least it is short. But, the house is too quiet (even with daughter and her friends who have been around).
ok, thanks for listening.
--Neighbor Lady
KLee! What a sweet gesture from that young man! He has a big heart, and the world is a better place because of him. I hope your mom continues to improve. :)
$500 is nothing to sneeze at. Congrats to your daughter for the award!
Amy
**waves** Hi Jenevieve!!! So glad to hear from you!
Big hugs and love Pixies!! And NO guilt - this is Whine Central, so go to it!
NO GUILT. And NO GUILT OVER FEELING GUILTY.
NO. GUILT.
KLee, such wonderful news about the tumor shrinking! And -- what a sweet gesture from the friend of a friend, honoring your mom. Congrats, too, to Offspring on the scholarship!
NL, it was brave of NB to go. And a big adventure! Hope he has settled in and is having fun. (The anticipatory fear of doing something completely new -- very often it's much harder than the challenges of doing the actual thing itself. IMO.)
Stupidest whine: Our dog is in deep, restless mourning because Her Man has been gone for 2 nights so far. She cries in the night. Sadness abounds. It is like the sadness of seeing him getting dressed in work clothes (which means he'll be gone ALL DAY), only times eleventy.
kathy a, eleventy made me smile. thank you.
W: just got the first letter from Neighbor Boy. (It was written about 24 hours after we dropped him off so I take it in that spirit,but still....) My heart is breaking. He says he doesn't really like camp, and he has no friends, and that he only really knows 2 counselors so far. Then he writes, "Please come pick me up. (I wish you could)" Love, Neighbor Boy.
I know I have to be strong and trust him to get through this, but my heart is breaking for him. He is very shy anyway, and I am hoping this was a good choice. The camp is fabulous, though, and has a Camper Care Coordinator. They told the parents at orientation that if we do get a letter like that we should call the camp, so the coordinator can make sure the camper is doing ok, let the counselors know there is a little extra TLC needed etc. I got her in person on the first call, and she was reassuring and awesome and said she would do some stealth sleuthing to see if things had improved, and would call me this afternoon. Don't want to be a helicopter parent, but also want to make sure he is not absolutely miserable..... I figure I am doing well, since I am NOT getting in the car right now to drive there!! :) maybe the pixies could spare some good thoughts for Neighbor Boy adjusting?
sigh.
sorry--it's a small whine in comparison to all that is going on this week.
Also, forgot to say, KLee, congrats on the scholarship for your daughter!!! Wonderful!
--Neighbor Lady
Sending camp love thoughts to NB and a big hug to you and acknowledgement that you're doing it right, NL.
What Liz said, NL. Yay about the Camper Care Coordinator!
Probably told this story many moons ago, but freshman year, my daughter arrived at college early for the week of marching band camp. And that very first night, she told me she wanted to come home right away. (And I said no.) And then she told her band director she wanted to quit (and he said no!). And lo, she adored the marching band, it carried her through those first couple of years.
And also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jjiWS__Mp0
xoxo
I could stand to go more than a few weeks between mass shootings. How 'bout you?
You remember my friend Linda?
She died this morning.
Grief upon grief.
((( Liz ))) Oh, sister. I am so sorry. Way too much loss all at once. Sending so much love. xoxoxo
Sending good camper energy to NB and I'm so happy about the Camper Care Coordinator (I would LOVE that job!). Hang in there NL - you're doing great.
(((Liz))) I am so sorry. So much love and eleventy hugs to you. xoxoxoxo
Oh no, Liz. I'm so sorry. So many, many hugs.
Oh Liz Too too much. Much love,
((((Liz))))) I'm so sorry. Many many hugs and much love.
--Neighbor Lady
Oh, Liz, I am so sorry. :( :( :(
Amy
Thank you everybody.
W: The 1RS forces everyone to use their website to file for things like EINs when the trustee of a living trust is no longer living, and then they ask cryptic questions designed to make you do it wrong. Are they in the pay of the tax-preparer's lobby?
Ugh, Liz. (There is also a news report that 1RS help lines hung up on customers 8.8 million times this year.)
I wouldn't be surprised if they were, Liz. I'm so sorry about how terrible the paperwork is, when you're already grieving.
I need some pixie encouragement, because I'm gearing myself up for a small-ish but emotional (for me) confrontation, and I hate being direct.
(Related: is it just me, or is it really hard to say to a loved one, "We just noticed the evidence that you're preparing to build a gazebo that will completely cover our living room window, and eliminate half of all natural light in our already-dark basement suite, and that would be so bad for my mental health that we would have to consider moving. I know that this is your dream house that you built, but it doesn't mean that this basement suite isn't our home (a home for which we pay a lot of rent)." I don't know if I'll say that last part, but I've started practising saying it with my mom. )
Yuck, QWP. I don't much like confrontations, either. But is there a way to begin more gently, like maybe a friendly fact-finding mission? "Heard you're building a gazebo! What are your plans?"
They may not really realize the blockage/light issue with the location you suspect -- which might be a consideration for future tenants (or if they sell one day). And, a different location would provide a little more privacy for everyone if they are entertaining out there, no?
Just thinking out loud. At least there will be something to build on in a future conversation, if there doesn't seem any willingess to budge. Putting a threat to move in the first conversation might get someone's back up from the outset, and that's never good.
The trouble is that there really is no other spot, at this point. I feel like I should have had this conversation last summer, when suddenly they built a ground-level deck that extended all the way past our living room window. I was already concerned about it then, but at that point it didn't really block anything, and I thought at most there would be a few planters over in our direction (because surely they weren't going to block our living room window). And then they got outdoor living room furniture and put it right outside our window, in the past few weeks, and at first I thought "it doesn't take up much room, and so it didn't really make a difference," and then I realised that it has become their new hang-out spot, which is pretty awkward. And so I was already concerned about that when we saw the gazebo brackets, at which point I cried.
But you're right: fact-finding first.
"Dearest cousin, I'm not sure if you're aware of the fact that placing a gazebo there blocks all the light from our living room. Given that fact, can we discuss other options for placement?"
This message is delivered best with cookies. Store bought is fine.
I should have written "blocks all the light GOING INTO our living room"
If blogspot had 'like' buttons, I'd hit 'like' on Liz's suggestion, particularly the "This message is delivered best with cookies. Store bought is fine" portion of her comment.
Amy
So: pergola instead of gazebo, which I think means an open structure? But is still built for providing shade. I just sent off a fact-finding text, asking how much shade it'll be providing, and expressing our concern about light into the living room.
W: well, that turned into a fight.
Uh-oh, QWP! So sorry. Well, at least you know what they feel about it, eh? (Sorry -- my Pollyanna nature getting the best of me!)
Liz, first of all, I am sorry to have called you "Luz", though I think that makes you sound very Latin and Romantic -- I have FFS (fat fingers syndrome) and I always make lots of typos on my iPad. Plus, the iPad is quirky, and often will not let me edit or delete. (Probably mostly user error...) Secondly, I am so sorry about Linda. It's not been a good week for you. Sending you hugs, much love, and a prayer pathway directly to heaven.
Poor Neighbor Boy. First outings away from home are always rough, especially for those fraught with anxiety and shyness. Offspring freaked a little right up until we left her at college. She acted so nonchalant about it, and then I found out that she was a pile of Jello on the inside, but she braved it out. I think it takes a lot of guts to take yourself out of your comfort zone like that. She moved SEVERAL states away, knowing no one, and having no friend support structure to fall back on. I hope Neighbor Boy feels less miserable as time goes on. Do let us know what the stealthy check-up reveals.
Amy -- just had a thought -- have you asked around at the local colleges if someone might be available for a situation like what your former nanny/friend/jack of all trades did? Someone might be interested. Offspring set up a care.com account in Kentucky to pick up babysitting jobs for a little bit of extra cash, and she has a family that she helps out with during the school year -- she picks the two kids up from school a couple of days a week, and helps them with their homework until the mom gets home, and once stayed over night when the Mom had an emergency and had an early early meeting, and got the kids up the next morning and fed and off to school. Maybe something like that might be worth looking into? I hope that gives you at least a new direction to look in!
More good news in my little world -- Mama is set to be released tomorrow. White blood cell count is up to 5.2 (Thank you, God!) and her platelets are coming up, but still with a long way to go. She is looking and sounding better, but is still very weak. They delivered her a spiffy walker today, and I'm going to WalMart this weekend, and buying some handlebar streamers and a bell to deck it out. She'll be the fanciest bald lady on the block! :)
Heading to my grandmother's service on Monday. Her husband was a veteran, so he's buried in a National cemetery down here, and her ashes will be interred at his grave. I never met my grandfather, as he died before I was born, but I know Grandma is so glad to be back with him -- I'll bet he asked what took her so long! There was no wake or viewing, so those of us who gather for the burial will go out to lunch to remember her and swap stories. It's what she would have wanted, not crying and grieving, but a celebration of the many years that we all had together.
School starts soon. Ugh. Was hoping not to be there, but haven't found another job. I will pray for this, too. Hopefully, it will all turn out all right.
KLee, it's such good news that your mom is improving. And I'm praying for peace for you, as you travel out for your grandma's service. I like just gathering to swap stories. (That was basically how it was for my grandma, too, but with singing as well.) And oh boy, am I praying that something else turns up for you for next year.
KLee, thanks for checking in. So glad your mom will be able to return home.
AW: VBS is over.
W: That's about the only good thing I can say about it. 200 exhausted children. 100 exhausted adults. Still unsure why this is a good idea.
Oh, and QWP, sorry about the pergola mess
Klee, so glad about your mom. The plans for your grandmother sound perfect. And I didn't even notice you'd called me luz.
Thank you for the support, that goes for everybody!
((QWP))) a fight? My guess is your cousin knew this wasn't gonna be good for you and started from a place of defensiveness. But seriously, if they're going to rent out the basement, they can't block the little sunlight you get. Btw, is that window an egress? In VA, you can't rent out space that doesn't have a viable fire exit from every room except closets and baths
Liz, there's room for our window to open or windows swing out, and there's plenty of room. They built the deck (wooden patio? It's directly on the ground) just past that. She says that they have it planned so that the slats won't block much light for us, but then said she was hurt that we wouldn't trust them to think of us. Argh. I think we've hashed it out, but they aren't backing down.
I didn't type that out properly! I meant to say "there's plenty of room for our window to swing out."
Just checking in - we spent the day/evening catching up with friends we haven't seen for some time. It was lovely. Bonus: the house is clean.
QWP: oh, ugh. What a horrible position to be in. I agree with Liz, that your cousin started from a defensive place. She knew full well you would be unhappy about it. Cluestick posse is ready to saddle up.
KLee, that sounds like a nice way to honour your grandmother. I'll be thinking of all of you and praying.
esperanza, you had me at 200 children. Seriously, the 100 adults all deserve medals. Or alcohol if they choose. Or both.
Because of the aforementioned catching up with friends, my sermon simply did not happen today.
That means no awards tomorrow. Sorry!
Keep whining friends. It's been quite a week here in pixie world.
QWP -- ugh about the fight. Wish they had thought to discuss the plans with you. (Ugh that they don't bother mentioning it, then it's your fault for not trusting them. Ugh.) Pergolas around here tend to be more decorative than shade-throwing, so hoping that works out OK.
KLee, great news about mom's improvement!
NL, any word about NB?
Esperanza -- 200 kids? Oh, my. Badge of Honor for you.
Sue, so glad you had a good time with your friends!
KLee, I'm glad you mentioned care.com (and similar venues for finding a nanny/sitter). I have been thinking that I should check into it, but I have managed to procrastinate it for a handful of reasons. Primarily, my husband was immediately happy to discover that the kids "have to go back to school" because he was unhappy with my approach to homeschooling. In other words, I wasn't replicating school at home. (UGH! Also, WHY??) As such, the idea of finding a nanny became an option on the list *after* the Montessori. Add to this the issue of money, specifically that the Montessori will be free* but a nanny would cost money, and here I find myself, looking at back to school sales again.
*Except I have to drive there twice a day, five days a week, twenty-five minutes one way in good traffic, but neither the time lost nor the increased fuel expense registers with him because helping the kids with school has never been his responsibility, except on rare occasion.
Egad, I am ranting. Sorry.
Truthfully, though, the introvert in me is terrified of trying to hire someone to watch my kids in my home, but I suppose I just need to put on my big girl panties already. le sigh
Amy
esperanza, 200 kids? eep! I want to hide in my room at the thought!
QWP, :(
KLee, your plans for lunch out, swapping stories, sounds like what my family did after my gramma's funeral a few years ago. It was perfect for us. I hope it is everything you need it to be. <3
NL, how are you holding up while NB is off? Any word on how he's adjusting? I truly hope he has found his groove.
Amy
Yeah, well it looks like the happy lunch I'd envisioned, trading stores about Grandma won't be happening.
My S-I-L is a vegetarian, and while looking at the admittedly limited amount of choices available to us in this city, picks a seafood place. I remind her that I can't do that, as I am worried about breathing issues and cross contamination. (This is all done via text.) Her reply to me: "Have you been tested by a doctor for this allergy?" that ticked me off, but I answer a simple, "yes." Then she says, "How do you eat in restaurants in (your city)? They all have cross-contamination issues!"
I was offended. She basically implies that I"m LYING about having an allergy, and then has the gall to quiz me?! I finally just said that they could make whatever plans they wanted, and we wouldn't be joining them. She obviously complains to my brother, who chimes in that this should be all about my grandmother, and he has no idea how simple lunch plans got so far off the rails.
Was I wrong? Did I read her wrong? My husband says no -- she's very used to getting her own way, and not being told no, but I was very offended by this. I am 45 damn years old. I think I know if I have an allergy or not! What, I'm making it up for attention?! So, yeah. Skipping lunch. Not happy. Feeling very put-upon, and mad as a hellcat.
KLee, that SUCKS. My sister has a deadly shellfish allergy, her husband has a deadly nut allergy. We do not play games with their health. Allergies trump all.
Amy, if it's so important to your husband that the kids go to Montessori, can he drive them? Why should it be all on you? Please ignore the question if it's not helpful.
Xoxox
((( KLee ))) Hoo, boy. Breathe! She's wrong, but this is not fight-worthy. Only happening because everybody is so stressed.
Because she is veggie, she surely knows of the other places accommodating that and not focusing on seafood. You should be going to your grandma's memorial lunch (unless she can't bend a little to make it comfortable for all). Posse material -- but I hope she finds someplace. xoxo
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUE! xoxo
Thanks!!!
Liz, I do appreciate your question, and yes, he should be helping in some way. I need to find a way for him to help that is actually helpful, without adding more stress or burden to other people, like the kids. If he drives or picks up, they will end up spending an extra hour or two at school, which will also cost us extra money. If I *can* get there to drop them off or pick them up on time or close to it, it doesn't seem fair to the kids to make them have a longer day just so my husband can experience "helping". But, we may try it so he can appreciate the commute.
KLee, I'm so sorry that she is being so unreasonable about lunch! For goodness sakes!
Happy Birthday, Sue!
Amy
Amy, hope the shuttling can be worked out. It feels like a burden if you are doing it all yourself. This might not be true for your kids, but my kids liked the before/after school stuff when we had long work days -- playing, doing what they wanted, hanging with friends.
KLee, hoping for some kind of resolution. I mean, this was *your* grandma. The interrogation thing, the dismissing something serious to you -- really hate when that happens. Really.Hate.
xoxo
Happy birthday, Sue!!!
Amy, I really hear you, but I think it will not hurt the kids as much to have a longer day as it will to have a stressed out mama
((((KLee))) Also, may I say (thinking like posse here) that your brother should be the one taking on this fight for you, making sure his wife picks somewhere safe (if she is in charge of picking??) I have lactose issues, (not the same as allergies, but similar in limited menus to vegetarian needs) and may I just say that I have managed to find something even at ice cream shops occasionally, or have managed to sit and enjoy the company even when there was nothing to eat. And, there is almost never *literally nothing* for vegetarians!!! Sheesh!!!! Now I am mad for you!!! Nobody should have to skip, and certainly not you!!!
Growl!
Feeling growly anyway, and that pergola would tick me off too, QWP. Also, I have had it with people who do something thoughless, and then when you speak up, make it seem like it is your fault. Unfair!!! And not your fault!!!
Deep breath.
So, the original news from the camper care coordinator was that he said things were getting a little better. But then, when we went away over the weekend, we eventually got three emailed letters (all scanned the same day, so don't know the correct order they were written in) saying he still doesn't like it. Then, one to our daughter saying he has one friend (which is better than the zero he started with!) and then one describing a video game he is making with the one friend. So, assuming that's the order.
But, most pictures we see of him, I have yet to see a "real" smile on him. He does a good job of smiling for the camera, but as the mama I can tell the difference. Breaks my heart a bit, but we pick him up SUnday, and it I think it is important for him to realize he can do this. He might not love it as much as we thought and hoped. But, he can do it. I *think* this is the right approach, but the doubt about it and second guessing it is making me grumpy.
Well, everything is making me grumpy right now.
KLee, great news about your mom!!!!! Thinking you good thoughts about a new job!
Amy, thinking good resolution thoughts for your changing situation!
oy esperanza, VBS sounds.....unfun. Thinking you drinks of your choice..
Sorry for the grumps pixies. Thanks for listening!
Continued hugs for liz. Hope you are hanging in there.
Happy Birthday Sue!!!!!
--Neighbor Lady
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