...but not really. Sweet is excited, I'm excited, we're ready. The other mommies were crying at registration today. I guess that's their whine.
My whine is going to be that the kid who didn't speak for two years (remember that?) is going to get in trouble for talking in class. I'm pretty sure of it.
Not to mention the continuing behavior issues.
Pixies, where are your whines this week? Are they old enough to go to kindergarten? Or brand new?
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Crying at registration? First day of school is the traditional time to cry, IMO.
I'm waiting on something, and it turns out I am really bad at waiting.
My people say, "don't pray for patience; you might just get it."
AW: small victory. Red tape hurdles cleared at old/new doctor's office (we are returning to a previous developmental ped). I apparently answered the "why are you switching doctors" question correctly.
W: first opening: November.
Oh, good work with the ped! Why does it take so long to get in??
It's about as long as I was expecting. Part of it is that there aren't enough of this specialty in our area (they treat tricky cases of ADHD, autism, developmental disorders, etc). Also, this particular doctor has one-hour appointments, where your average pediatrician spends 10 minutes per patient. So fewer patients per day.
So I will join you in waiting for a thing.
Oh boy! Ped progress. Are you finished with fax machine nonsense, then? (And November?! I'm pointing to that whine whenever someone up here claims that Americans don't have to deal with specialist waiting lists and therefore we need to privatize.)
W: I spilled hot tea all over myself, and scalded most of my torso. And I was handling steaming-hot tea because my sinuses suddenly started hurting, this afternoon.
AW: ice packs FTW. The redness is mostly gone. Just have to deal with the burnt area immediately below the Remembering What They're All Abouts.
AW: the kid has been miraculously good through all of this. She has been really content to play by herself today.
AW: fancy banquet tonight, which means a child-free supper!
W: you guys, the library program on Friday didn't go well. E was a mess, and we were the only new people. We're trying again this week, and practising the nursery rhymes and the general routine (let's sit on Mommy's lap on the floor!) this week, and then we're giving it one more shot. I just want her to have time to play with kids: she doesn't NEED structured activities at 17 months old. If she doesn't like it, I'm not forcing the issue. (But she made a friend! So torn.)
Oh, QWP -- ouchie! Aloe gel can help sooth and heal ze burn.
The library program is a new thing, so it just might take some adjustment. You don't have to go every time, or stay the whole time.
W: No longer waiting; not a bloggable result, nor the one for which we hoped. AW: kittens.
oh, QWP, we *definitely* have specialist waiting. Definitely. Obnoxiously so. Done with faxing, I think. Receptionist initially told me they didn't receive it, again. I was prepared to be Not Nice, but she found it after all.
Sorry your waiting is over without the hoped-for thing, kathy a. Bummer.
OK, so super stressy week, with objectively bad things. Offspring lost it last night and vented in a loud fashion that I never shut up about the stressy thing, and I ruined his/her life. And today, I'm still a terrible person and I should "just get over it."
Somebody used to be on anti-depressants, and it is not good that he/she stopped.
a different a. nonnie mouse--
massive tantrum in process as we speak. had to remove myself downstairs before i too lose it.
so hard to not just give in to avoid this stuff.
hugs to the nonnies.
Nonnie II, solidarity. xoxo
(((Hugs for the nonnies)))
W: Unbloggable institutional inability to do really simple things in a timely or coherent manner. (Why yes, this entity is why I need a fax machine!)
AW: Kittens! W: one is using those sharp little toofies and the hunting instinct to massacre earbuds. AW: not my earbuds.
Institutional incompetence AND the need for a fax machine? We have a theme developing.
W: I'm sick AGAIN. I need to sleep enough at night, and because I never get enough sleep, I catch everything. E gets another day of Sick Mommy Lets You Watch TV.
AW: at least cold medicine is working today. Yesterday was rough.
AW: I told E that Mommy feels sick, and she went and got her toy syringe to give me imaginary medicine. <3
AW: the fancy fundraiser banquet was lovely last night, and E went to bed for my in-laws like a champ. It's nice getting out sometimes, even with a sinus headache.
QWP, hope you feel better soon. It sounds like you have a good nurse in Lil E. So cute.
W: Not to alarm you, but I have not gotten enough sleep in about 7 years.
W: I detest Mother's Day.
Yay for Q's night out! Boo on the feeling sick -- but you do have a little keeper there.
Esperanza, not a fan of Mother's Day here, either. Forced march h@llm@rk holiday, bah. Among other reasons, the whole blah blah leaves a lot of people in not so cheery places.
Cheer boosters: Mailed reunion postcards to 73 classmates! Finally went to the new annex to the natural food store, with wine and cheeses and pizza, etc., and brought home some of those. Trying to make lemonade out of the lemons, or something...
Is it kosher for me to java clue stick right up someone's nose? Headdesk headdesk headdesk
Jab a, not java
Yes. Please. Do you need reinforcements?
Cough. Perhaps I have issues...
That's not the spellcheck fail of the week. I think that would go to "LA waters," when the wanted word was "lawyers."
Would you like a slice of organic pizza?
Cluesticks: now with coffee!
Heh!
I definitely said to myself, "Oooh! Coffee cluestick!" And my autocorrect/spellcheck failure of the week involved texting my brother to tell him that E loves "children curry." Chicken! I meant chicken.
Kathy, my unbloggable is not on par with your unbloggable, it's just frustration with human stupidity as seen up close.
Auto correct errors are the best.
Human stupidity as seen up close -- how elegantly stated!
Working on the "we shall overcome" portion of the unbloggable.
Liz, no comparisons! We are all about the everyday, 'round here.
Wildlife report: active kittens on a hardwood floor = thump, scitter scitter, thump, gallop, wrestle 'n roll. Can hear the cuteness from the next room!
W: Right now, I feel like I never want to cook again. How is a person supposed to do the dinner every.single.day?
W: have I told you about my newest project? Re-upholstering antique chair. Super uncomfortable, so it's getting springs redone and everything. Taking it apart was fun. Refinishing the wood parts, not fun.
AW: now confirming, again, my decision to pay to have the giant cabinet refinished.
AW: in searching for tools and supplies, I got a whole box of stuff to borrow from my mom's cousin. And then found a super nice, friendly, helpful place yesterday in Big City for the rest.
Yay, Esperanza! You can do anything. Seriously!
I found this article on the high rate of c-sections. My first was a non-elective c-section, and when he was born nearly 27 years ago, everybody knew the c-section rate was too high. How could it have become higher still? My 2d was a vbac, and I really do not understand why that is not done more. Sigh. Anyway, interesting article.
Well, I know that there are hospitals that refuse to do vbac because of the liability risks. (My friend lives in HI and says she's heard that's the case at her local hospital.)
There isn't any automatic liability with vbac! They monitor closely for any complications, the main concern being rupture of the healed incision. Which I knew was a risk, but it is not at all common with the lower horizontal kind of incision that I had. My kids were born pretty close, 19 months apart, but everything held.
I did have to advocate for vbac. And I think the duty doctor really wanted to do a 2d C -- I went into labor 5 weeks early, spent a week in the hospital on meds to stop labor -- and then this idiot doctor tried a pitocin stress test, which put me back into labor. That test is rarely used any more; and there weren't any indications that baby 2 would suffer any unusual distress during birth.
Water under the bridge now, but there was a good reason for my C, and no good reason to do another one.
My OB said that the American College of OB & Gyn, and thus insurance co's, require the constant presence of the doctor throughout labor for a VBAC. No one wants to do that, thus the repeated C-sections. Also, "you're 35 years old, you worked hard to get this baby, you didn't do so great the first time. Let's not push it, ok?"
Oh, I agree. The risk seems to be largely imaginary. And I don't know of any Canadian hospitals that refuse to do vbac (a friend of mine did have to advocate for herself to do one, however). I'm pretty sure that a lot around here do refuse of the births are less than two years apart, but it seems to depend on the hospital policy/doctors. Is some of this a remnant from the old days of classical caesareans?)
(If I was able to have a second child, I would not be a candidate for vbac, according to my doctor, because my incision had to go up a bit. It wasn't enough to be a classical incision, but apparently I have an increased rupture risk.)
Well, now I've read through Canada's guidelines, because apparently I need to research SOMETHING. Midwives are allowed to preside over a VBAC here, but it can't be a home birth. Births 18-24 months after a previous c-section are allowed to be vbac (subject to hospital policy), but patients are supposed to be counseled on increased risk of rupture. And some forms of induction are allowed, but not all.
Of course, some doctors and hospitals aren't as into that, although apparently our regulatory body of OBGYNs advocate that women should be allowed to attempt vbac.
Canada: apparently different from the US!
And, as I continue to read, it turns out that the policies are slightly different, but the outcome is close to the same. Our c-section rate is high (only slightly lower than the US), and our vbac rate is under 20%. According to a study I read, only a tiny percent of women choose this for themselves; almost all said that it was the choice of their healthcare provider.
Want to be clear: there are good reasons not to do natural birth, and not to do vbac! Not criticizing individual informed choices. It is just the general trend that troubles me. And the wildly differing policies.
My "want to be your friend" person here is planning on a VBAC for baby #4. #1 was vaginal. #2 and #3 were C-sections. Local family practice doc who also does OB care: a rare creature these days. He probably will be present the whole time, because that's the kind of guy he is. (Also my doctor, but not my OB).
Oh. That sounds like a great doctor! Although I assume "present all the time" means he is on call for most of it, because I recall the full labor and delivery thing as lasting 400 years, and the nurses doing the heavy lifting for most of that.
No, I mean physically present. That's what my OB said, the requirement is so burdensome that it is almost impossible.
That's an incredible doctor!
Kathy a, I entirely understand what you were saying. I ended up going down an Internet rabbit hole, because I'm always curious about how these rates happen. (It drives me crazy when the media frames it as "too posh to push", especially since elective c-sections only comprise a minuscule percentage of sections.)
W: I've been working in our garage on this chair project. The mosquitoes are thick...the garage itself blocks the prevailing wind (smart design, no?). Bites all over me.
AW: I'm within sight of it being clean enough to finish up indoors. Maybe another week, depending on how much I get to work on it.
Esperanza. What is it with Texas and uteruses? (Or am I jumping to a conclusion again?)
But your DIY refurbishing project, despite the challenges, that is GREAT!
AW: Daughter's job interview went well! Doesn't mean she'll get the job, but seriously uplifting in light of all the crappity at her present job.
Could be TX, but I think it's US-wide? QWP can do the research on that :)
I am going to be really proud of myself when I'm finished with the chair. Expect photos and shameless bragging. I am also going to be glad to be able to do something else with my "free" time.
Esperanza, I'm looking forward to seeing the results! And I get it: I idealise about refinishing furniture, but there's a child-sized at of table and chairs sitting unfinished at my in-laws' house, begging me to return and so more annoying sanding.
Good sign that I'm drifting a bit, post-PhD: I'm jumping at the chance to research ANYTHING. I also read an entire chapter of my cousin's dissertation yesterday, and gave her a bunch of feedback. Don't ask me about my progress in getting the apartment clean.
W: I didn't get the online course job. So, now more emails to send and hustling to do. Probably too late to find anything for the fall now. (We'll be fine: it would be good to find a bit of something - - flexible, to minimize childcare costs - - to help pay off loans, but we've been living in Mr. Q's income since we moved back here, and so it won't be an emergency if I have to wait a little longer for one of my connections to come through on some university-adjacent work.)
Petty W: I guess this makes me a stay-at-home mom for the time being, and I'm not quite sure how to function in that role. (It doesn't help that my mom was pretty aimless and bored as a SAHM.) It's new to me, and I feel like I ought to be achieving a little more than just keeping E and me basically fed and clothed through the day.
AW: I'm so glad we moved back here. Mr. Q makes enough here for us to live on, and my cousin has built a basement suite for us to live in. It's not a fancy life, but we're incredibly privileged. I just need to figure out some direction in my life.
AW: you guys, the house is almost done, at last. We're moving in two and a half weeks! My cousin just emailed me a video tour of the progress on our site, and it's so pretty. I rewatch it, pausing on the walk-in closet, any time I feel sad.
(I hope that didn't sound like I have anything against being a stay-at-home mom! I just thought I'd be doing something different at this stage in my life, and I feel like I'm so far TERRIBLE at this job, compared to my ideal if stay-at-home Mom's.)
(Oh no! Autocorrect-added apostrophe!)
Re: SAHM and aimlessness: why do you think I'm reupholstering a chair?
I mean to say, I get it. I really, really get it.
QWP, sorry about the online job. Perhaps there are other opportunities? Community college? Extension courses? Tutoring at the high school? Or something else that catches your eye?
My year as a SAHM was overseas, where I did not speak the language, so take this with a grain - but there was a US community college extension on base where I taught a couple classes, and I had this easy-peasy English conversation gig. Because I seriously thought my mind would explode if I did not get to see grownups, and do at least something besides mommy.
I have advice, too, QWP, if you want it. (some of it in the "take it, I'm not using it" department).
Um, I write too much, and apologies if some of it is of the buttinsky variety, misguided, and/or just too much.
That wasn't a criticism of you, kathy a! Just trying to curb my own buttinsky-ness. Lord knows, I don't have it figured out, so I'm not sure why I think I should be spouting off. You at least have the "been there and survived" button.
Esperanza! You are not a buttinsky.
The Baboos might disagree with you :)
OK, yeah. My kids would join the Baboo chorus as to me, for sure.
W: So, those reunion postcards? I got bad info, used postcard stamps for 60 of them, but they are oversized and need full postage. This is what I get for doing the fun task first!
AW: Today I got to mail a rubber chicken with a good story. Postage all good on that one!
Thank you both! My next plan of attack is continuing education department, which runs the online courses etc for the regional colleges in the province. My old supervisor is also sending my name along to the local archives, because sometimes they have research projects where they need extra researchers. I need to send out some emails, and there are long-term possibilities, but it's too late to find any more teaching work for the fall, and so now (unless some research work materialises soon) I won't be working at all (unless I find non-academic work, but then it gets complicated) for a few months longer than I expected.
So, I'm just adjusting expectations and figuring out how to approach my day, where I really am busy (toddler!), but the work isn't always rewarding in the same way as other work I've done. (I'm working on setting since goals so that I can see results sometimes, and finding myself things to do that aren't dealing with E and attempting to deal with the apartment).
W: I may have just killed the vacuum cleaner in a spectacular fashion.
AW: a little more than two weeks until we no longer have carpets and have central vac.
W: I am worn right out. Meeting for Sweet with the special ed team this afternoon. Always leaves me a bit emotional. Alternating between excitement and panic re: kindergarten.
AW: and I should amend my earlier whine. I still detest Mother's Day, but the sweet cards the Baboos made me at school are pretty nice. Mini is acting like "Mother's Day" is a whole season, so we're rolling with it.
Esperanza: that combination of W and AW are heart squeezing.
AW: I spent the afternoon with a friend, and our kids played together nicely. (Last time, everyone has trouble sharing.) I helped make her life a little less stressful for a while, and she helped me figure out some of my angst. And we had lovely weather.
W: E must have been exhausted after that. She had an epic hour-long meltdown at bedtime, wherein Mr. Q and I had to take turns deliberately, because she was thrashing so much that it was hard to keep my cool. I can't remember the last tantrum that was that bad. (Maybe the afternoon before she came down with the stomach bug? I spent the whole hour worrying that maybe she was sick.) (So, I suspect our neighbours will be relieved when we move.)
AW: I gradually got her to calm down and to go to sleep. And I got her to calm down by getting her to hug me around my neck, which was really sweet.
Esperanza, the kidlet cards are a sweet exception! Hope the meeting about Sweet was overall good.
QWP -- the afternoon sounds lovely. Meltdown, not so much.
The kittens went back to the shelter. The girls have their surgeries today; all of them will be available for adoption this weekend. We might get them back Sunday (if they aren't adopted), or some others.
Having a hard time focusing on this thing that needs doing.
Here is a piece from Anne Lamott about why she doesn't like Mother's Day. It's on the book of faces, but originally 2010 salon dot com.
Oh, that's fantastic, kathy a.
Chiming in late....
AW: great appointment with doc in the big city. Dinner with friends on two nights.
W: came home last night and promptly got Teh Sick (aka fever, chills, head filled with goo). Bleh.
Time for jello and juice, then sleeps.
oh no, the dreaded airplane effect. Glad you had a great appointment, and I hope the sick passes quickly.
Oh dear, Sue! I hope you're feeling better really soon.
Sue, hope you are feeling better!
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