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Monday, February 10, 2014

Fresh shiny whines

AW:  Three days of rain!  It's not a drought-buster, but at least we can call last year's fire season over.

W/AW:  Busy busy, catching up on other stuff after the Big Thing.

W:  Dentist this morning.  Just remembered that there might be drilling involved.  Not what I want to do.

AW:  My shipment of GS cookies came in, so I can pick them up this afternoon!

What's the news with you?

82 comments:

Sue said...

Whispered AW: I appear to be having a day off. And a good book to read. It's a new novel by the author who wrote "What Alice Forgot" - one of our book club selections. This one is very good so far.

W: I need to trim and file my nails but I don't feel like it. Wah.

Sorry about the *gulp* drilling kathy a. Glad to hear about the rain though!!

kathy a. said...

Ooh, we'll need a book report! I'm reading a good one called Devil in the Grove, about Thurgood Marshall and one case in particular that he handled while he was an NAACP lawyer. More generally, it is about the bad old segregated South.

Crown replacement -- my favorite [not]. I believe the old one lasted 35 years, though, which isn't bad.

kathy a. said...

10 boxes of cookies! My supplier apologized, because they were a little short on the weird experimental cookies [berry something?], and so I got more THIN MINTS!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

W: all of the Americans are talking about Girl Scout cookies, and we're more than a month away from Girl Guide cookies being for sale!

kathy a. said...

I have a source, so if anyone is in dire need, let me know. ;)

esperanza said...

W: unspecifically unhappy...feel like I'm frittering away hours while the Baboos are at school, yet unmotivated to tackle anything on the to-do list. Weather isn't helping.

Sue said...

Mmmmm.... Cookies. We only get the original Girl Scout cookies with half vanilla and half chocolate around here. QWP do you get the thin mints out your way?

Sorry about the unspecific unhappiness. I totally get the weather connection to mood. Bleh.

AW: watching the dog show. Love!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Sue: we get the thin mints out here (I was a Pathfinder when we launched thin mints in Canada!), and I'm very sad that I missed out on them in October. And I just realised that one of my friends is a Sparks leader, and didn't even ask me if I wanted to buy any Thin Mints! I'm going to have to tell her that I'm prepared to buy many boxes of the regular kind this spring.

Esperanza: I'm sorry about the unspecific unhappiness, and I also strongly sympathise.

Andy said...

Mouth sores. Argh.

Andy said...

Anyone else ever meet people who put their daughters in American Heritage Girls so they don't end up being godless Commie lesbians? I wonder if they sell cookies, and if they are only wholesome, God-fearing American varieties. None of that "dool-chay day lay-chay" crap for them.

esperanza said...

AW: Now I'm thankful that I have never heard of American Heritage Girls. Pretty sure I would think it is icky.

Liz said...

It is icky. Here's their website

Queen of West Procrastination said...

So, it's supposed to be a direct replacement for GS? Growing up, there were other clubs that we're similar to Guides and Scouts, some of which are more religious, but they weren't like "here's a non-evil alternative!"

W: my heart hurts for my little brother. He just had his heart broken by his first girlfriend since his wife died. She's really nice, but she's a lot younger than him, and she panicked about commitment. My brother' s in rough shape right now, and the break up is bringing up a lot of grief.

AW: he already has the week off (they just got back from a vacation), and I think I've convinced him to come here for supper.

W: I'm trying to teach my mother how to respond when someone tells you bad news. She's a wonderful, helpful person, but she struggles with social cues, and because she didn't know what to say to my brother, she just changed the subject after saying "I'm sorry." She doesn't understand how I knew to ask him how he was doing, express support, and offer to help.

esperanza said...

((QWP's brother))

Ok, the organization wasn't as icky as I had anticipated (remember where I live). Girls of different ethnic backgrounds in the photos. Using the term "women" instead of "ladies." I typed in my zipcode and was surprised to note that several troops are sponsored by Catholic churches, as well as Baptist ones (what I had suspected). Now. That's all I can find to say that's nice.

kathy a. said...

QWP, so sorry your brother is having a rough time. Sending hugs.

It may be easier for him to talk to you about this because you're a peer, and that mom/kid dynamic is not in the way. Just a thought.

AW: Fun breakfast with an old friend! We haven't done that in a while.

esperanza said...

W/AW: sick day home with Mini yesterday (ear infection); sick day home with Sweet today (coughing, wheezy night). It is nice to be with them one at a time. Hardly ever happens. They don't feel that bad, so it's been fun to play one-on-one.

AW: two days, stuck at home, with sick-ish Baboos.

kathy a. said...

It is good to get solo Baboo time! But hope everybody's better tomorrow.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Kathy a: yeah, I explained to my mom that he wasn't expecting her to counsel him or anything, but that the words "How are you doing?" or "I'm sorry that things are so rough right now. Let me know if we can help in any way" go a long way to acknowledge his feelings, especially with someone like my brother.

AW: my mom followed up her conversation with me by saying exactly those words to my brother, and it sounds like that helped. We're now working on a "Standard Kind Things You Can Say in Difficult Situations" script.

Esperanza: one-on-one Baboo time is lovely, even if they've been sick.

kathy a. said...

Go, mom! (Good job, QWP!)

Sue said...

QWP - sorry about your brother's heartache. Yay for you for being a wonderful sister for him and for helping your mom out with the script.

I hope both Baboos are feeling better tomorrow esperanza.

I don't even know what to say about American Heritage girls.

Andy - gargle with salt water? (for the mouth sores - it won't help with the heritage girls club - ha)

W: Hubby had another awful procedure at the hospital. We both feel so exhausted by it all. I'm overwhelmed by waves of helplessness. It's been going on for so long. These complications started the last weekend in September - now he's scheduled for today's procedure once a week for the next six weeks.

Just. Ugh.





Sue said...

Oh, I finished my book. It's really good - possibly even better than "What Alice Forgot." It's called "The Husband's Secret" and I highly recommend it!

kathy a. said...

((( Sue ))) Oh, I'm so sorry. Many hugs to you and hubby. The next 6 weeks??? Ugh. But maybe that measure will keep things from getting that bad again? xoxoxoxo

DAUGHTER GOT A JOB THAT STARTS MONDAY! Good, steady, full time, easy commute, great town. Yay!

Liz said...

W: Had to take work home tonight, because documents are due tomorrow that weren't given to the documents team until this morning.

AW: I am employed.

Liz said...

(((QWP's brother))). Good job, QWP in supporting your brother and giving practical advice to your mom!

(((Sue's husband and Sue)))

Yay, Kathy's daughter!

Anonymous said...

Yay, Kathy a!!!

((((Sue))))) and ((((Sue's husband)))))

((((QWP and family)))))-- I admire your ability to teach supportive strategies to your mom.

--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Oh Sue, I'm sorry it is awful, and I'm double sorry it has to happen so many times.

Yay for a job!!

Miranda said...

Oh Sue, I'm sorry to hear about all the procedures your sweetie has to endure.

Yay on the job.

Hugs to eperanza for all that was unsaid.

High 5 to QWP for her general awesomeness. I yell at my mom in similar circumstances. Your approach seems a lot, well, better.

My whine is that I found out that a woman I know died Sunday from the fireplacing cancer. Her son and Tween Son have known each other since preschool. She was doing better so this is a huge shock and I think Tween Son has a lot of feelings about it. Sometimes I forget how traumatic losing their father has been to my crew (for those new to the party, their father moved several states away two years ago due to various challenges). Between this and the low grade fever he has had for two days, he has barely left my side.

AW: I have a flexible job that lets me work from home so I didn't have to chose between my two major life roles.

AW: I have an actual date on Friday. I've never, ever, never had a date on Valentine's Day. Yes, I'm nearly 41 and was married for 18 years.

Sue said...

Yay to your daughter on the job kathy!!!

((((Miranda)))) so sorry about your friend's passing. Fireplacing cancer. It's good you can work at home and be with your son.

Valentine date!! Yay!

kathy a. said...

((( Miranda ))) I'm so sorry about your friend, and about all the bad scary feelings your son must be having.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

(((Miranda and tween son))) I am so sorry about both of your loss. I'm glad that you can work from home and support your son right now.

Hooray for A Valentine's date!

(((Sue and Hubby))) I'm so sorry that your husband is going to have to go through the awful procedure on a regular basis. I hope that it does some good for him.

Cheering for Kathy a's daughter!

AW: my brother came over yesterday afternoon, and stayed for the evening. We had a good talk about everything, including about understanding our family. And now, today, my mom and Mr. Q are going over to his house, to help him paint his basement. Learning to communicate and support each other in the ways we need is always hard.

W: I might have to put E to bed on my own two days in a row, because if my offering up my husband as a helper. We'll be fine, but I'm dreading that point in the late afternoon, where we both start getting squirrely and looking out the window for Mr. Q.

Liz said...

Advice for the afternoon squirrelly period: both sit down for a cookie and juice snack, and snuggle on the couch. And then do the hokey pokey (or as much of the hokey pokey that E can do at that age)

Sue said...

Yes! Great advice Liz! The hokey pokey is always fun.

QWP - it's so great the way your family is supporting your brother.

Seeking pixie advice: The funeral home that was handling last Wednesday's service usually pays me on the day of the service. They add my fee into the total fee for the family and cut me a check.

The funeral director didn't have the check with him (odd, never happens) last week and said he would deliver it to the church the next day. Still no sign of the check a week later. I think he's forgotten.

The obvious thing to do is call and ask where it is, but I break out in a sweat just thinking about it. I don't like talking about money and fees.

Would it be okay to send an email nudge instead?

Liz said...

Yes. Email is good for that.

kathy a. said...

Email sounds OK to me. You can compliment the funeral home's whatevers, say you're sure it just slipped his mind.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Yes, an email is absolutely fine in this kind of situation. Kathy's advice for how to word it is great.

Liz: I'm scheduling a 4:30pm special snack and hokey pokey for today.

AW: my MIL is going to come and help put E to bed on Thursday, while Mr. Q has to be at his school's open house.

kathy a. said...

Hokey Pokey! 4:30 p.m.! Everybody dance!!

Liz said...

Now, THAT's remembering what it's all about.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Laughing so hard right now.

Sue said...

Hahahahaaha!!!!

kathy a. said...

Eastern time zone -- are you ready? Loosen up, people!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

E's doing it right now!

kathy a. said...

Woo hooooo! She'll probably need to learn the bunny hop, too. But one thing at a time. ;)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

She tried to do the Elmo version of the Cha Cha Slide yesterday, which was super adorable.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

W: E skipped her afternoon nap. I'm now breaking into the baking chocolate.

esperanza said...

oh, man! I missed it!

Baking chocolate is a sign of desperation, QWP. I hope bedtime comes easy.

Miranda said...

My heart is heavy for people today. A cut in funding for at risk children means my friend is out of a job. Another youngish woman I know died last night because of the fireplacing cancer. Tween Son still isn't feeling well but dragged himself off to school for "count day" since the state foundation grant is determined but number of pupils in attendance on two days per year. Not enrollments - attendance.

AW: A thing I spent a lot of time on behind the scenes is getting national attention. I personally am not looking for glory but I am happy to help others receive their fair share of glory.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh, Miranda. So many hugs. (((Tween Son))) What a good kids, going to school on a day like that.

Andy said...

Hokey pokeys, dates, and standard scripts for appropriate responses to situations are all good things to be happy for.

So sorry for your loss, Miranda.

W: Going through divorce while still cohabitating with the soon-to-be-ex-wife is all kinds of confusing. Yesterday it was all slamming things and throwing fits and being angry all day for her, and today she's all peppy and happy and wanting to hang out and be best friends again.

AW: On the plus side, this plays right into our former relationship dynamic. She was always unpredictably and moody, while I was always the steady, unfeeling robot. As such, I'm bringing the stability to this divorce by spending all of our shared time in a state of mild dread.

Bonus AW: Going through divorce is much easier if one works at a mental hospital, because one is surrounded by mental health professionals. My friend and colleague who works in my building actually went through a divorce of her own 19 years or so ago after her husband began cheating with her while she was pregnant with their daughter. This has given me a built-in therapist. Our sessions go something like this:

Her: How are you doing today, Andy?
Me: Not great. My whole body is sore, like I had the most grueling workout of my life yesterday.
Her: What'd you do?
Me: Nothing.
Her: Ah. That's called stress.
Me: Right. I feel particularly sore at the bottom of my rib cage, kind of like your abs feel when you do lots of crunches, except not on my abs at all, and across my ribs instead.
Her: Scratch that. That sounds like "getting old" to me. You'll get used to it.

Miranda said...

Oh, Andy. I'm glad you have friends you can talk to you but having been in a similar situation as you, I feel for you. My level of achiness diminished greatly the moment I moved out. Once I no longer was a captive audience to his unpredictable moods my whole outlook on life improved.

QWP - I hope the baking chocolate is at least decent. I nearly broke into the chocolate chip stash at one point today. They aren't the good chocolate chips either but I was getting desperate.

Brag: My children, while often infuriating, also have beautiful, caring personalities. From Teen Daughter who insists on doing volunteer work for her birthday and who is often that one trusted friend when other teens have family crises, to Tween Son who is looking for ways to comfort his one friend who lost his mom last weekend and volunteers with the disable students at his school, I am so proud to call them mine.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

AW: we had white baking chocolate, which is about as serviceable as any white chocolate. And chocolate chips! The evening was saved.

Also AW: E was willing to go to bed earlier than usual, without her usual bedtime bath, and slept later than usual. I'm so much less tired now.

Miranda: you really should be proud of your kids. That's wonderful.

Andy, I'm so glad that you have mental health professionals to lend you support right now. I hope that it won't be too long before you can get some space.

Sue said...

Miranda - you have wonderful kids and they have a wonderful Mom. Hugs to all of you.

QWP - I'm glad hokey pokey time was fun! Baking chocolate desperation isn't fun though - hope today is better.

(((Andy))) I like your friend at work. She knows how important it is for you to have someone who can be honest and funny when not much around feels funny.

AW: I spent a great afternoon yesterday having coffee with a colleague. She's been here in our city for about two years. Every other time we've met it has been in the context of a "meeting" so we decided to just sit in her office where she has a fireplace (the lovely warm kind)and chat. It was delightful.

esperanza said...

white chocolate is an abomination. Blech. Glad you found it serviceable.

W:
Monday: Mini home sick
Tuesday: Sweet home sick
Wednesday: both at school, semi sick
Thursday: Sweet with fever, home sick, to the doctor to address non stop coughing.
Sigh

Sue said...

*shudder* White chocolate. No.

(((esperanza and Baboos)))

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Eh, white chocolate is just fine, in my books. It's less likely to make my acid reflux flare up, since it doesn't have any actual cacao. Sugar plus fat is all I was really looking for (since salty plus crunchy wasn't in the house).

Oh, that poor little Sweet. Esperanza, I'm glad you're taking her to the doctor today.

Sue, that coffee sounds absolutely lovely.

kathy a. said...

((( Miranda ))) Very sorry about the loss of your friend. And WTFireplace about cutting funds for poor kids? Yay tween son! And the thing important to you.

((( Andy ))) Sending thin mints. This draining part won't last forever, but it stinks. And I'm glad you have some smart [and smart-ass] friends to talk with.

Yay, Sue, for the time with your friend!

Esperanza, sending thin mints to you, too, and Germ-B-Gone.

Y'all stop harshing on other people's desperation chocolate choices! White choc is not the groovy popular choc, but Whatever Works. Also, thin mints for QWP.

Liz, heard there's a lot of snow; hope things are OK for you.

kathy a. said...

AW: Going to a conference of my work people this weekend! It will be good -- see my people, catch up on developments, it's in a cute seaside town, plus dinner with my aunt. Hotel room all to myself. Just like a vacation!

W: Senior diva cat is not eating so much, and the bad thing in her mouth and face seems to be advancing. She is still acting like a diva, and not obviously uncomfortable [tho cats are notoriously bad at reporting discomfort], but I'm thinkin' the bad day is approaching.

Hopefully, she'll be appropriately spoiled while I'm away.

esperanza said...

drooling over your vacation/conference, kathy a.

Sorry about diva cat.

I stand by my white chocolate statement. QWP revealed its contents: no actual chocolate. If it works for her, fine, but I'm not eating it.

Sweet has bronchitis, mild yet. But given Wimpy Preemie Lung Syndrome, she's got Rx's for antibiotics and steroids to beat off the possibility of pneumonia. I heart our pediatrician.

Liz said...

White chocolate is delicious, but it's not chocolate. Have y'all tried white chocolate covered pretzels?

Snow deep. Work from home good. Documents ugly

kathy a. said...

Chocolate is a made-up thing, and the essential part is cocoa beans. Cocoa butter [pressed from the beans] plus sugar = white chocolate. Cocoa powder + no sugar = something purists would call chocolate, but really that does not do a single thing for adjusting the mood upward. Personally, I adore milk chocolate, which purists argue is not real because of the milk part. But I say, to each his/her own. So there.

kathy a. said...

My opinion is not just based on life experience, or the fact that my beloved once did quality control for a superior manufacturer of chocolate products (leading all my sisters to mourn when he decided to get a job with more gravitas), but also is based on this well-known source.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Sandra Boynton! She's a very big deal in this household.

I think chocolate quality control is the greatest job I can imagine. Although it's probably like when I get baking wedding cakes, and am so sick of being around sugar that I don't want to consume the stuff myself.

Esperanza: oh, poor little Sweet. That is a wise pediatrician you have there. I hope the meds kick this infecting out of her system quickly. (My dad's lungs have always been delicate, thanks to childhood polio, and I know how scary the threat of pneumonia is.)

esperanza said...

So what do you have to make sure to do when you are taking steroids? Make sure you have food in your tummy. What does she not want to do? Eat. Hopefully this will improve soon.

kathy a. said...

Milk? Ice cream? Tortilla? Basically, whatever Sweet will take can serve as food right now. Whatever Works!

Liz said...

Kathy, I have that book!

Esperanza, so sorry 'bout the bronchitis. Does she like smoothies? Does she like cute food?

Cute food=make a sammich, cut it into 8ths.

Cute food=raisins and chocolate chips in a teacup.

Cute food=sliced hard-boiled eggs

Cute food=rolled up cold cuts (if you can stand doing that).

English-muffin pizza? So cute! Mini corn muffins?

Liz said...

(Muffin Man will eat anything that has the word "minature" in front of it).

Liz said...

OOH! Have you ever made eggs in a hole?

Take a slice o' bread. Cut a hole in it in the center

Melt butter in a frying pan. Put the bread in it. Crack an egg into the hole. Fry it. Flip it. Fry it.

Serve it.

kathy a. said...

Cute food for the win!

kathy a. said...

There is a lot of cute food for kids in Japanese culture. It can get pretty overboard! But making shapes, making it small, doing a little something to fancy it up -- sometimes that makes a thing enticing!

Does she like hot dogs? if you cut it the long way, not all the way to one end -- that becomes an octopus when you nuke or boil it.

esperanza said...

We're working on homemade pizza for supper. She's napping (put herself to bed and fell asleep). She ended up finishing a string cheese, a couple of pieces of apple and some milk. Probably enough. She's been on such a good eating streak that it took me by surprise.

kathy a. said...

Poor Sweet. Hope she bounces right back. xoxo

Sorry for the cute overload. It's Liz's fault; she got me going. ;)

Sue said...

Aw, poor Sweet. LOVE Liz's cute food list!!

kathy, I'm so sorry to hear about Diva Cat. It's hard to tell if they are in pain. Our diva tends to hide when something hurts or her tummy is upset.

Andy said...

I'm surrounded by chocolate snobs. White chocolate is delicious. So is milk chocolate. So is dark chocolate. So is the uber-dark chocolate from Chile or Dominica or some other foreign land that you buy in the bourgeois candy aisle at the store. I hear whining about chocolate is punishable by death in some parts of the world.

Speaking of chocolate, yesterday one of the units at work had a Valentine's Day candy sale fundraiser with a huge selection of amazingly delicious homemade candy. I bought two gigantic peanut butter cups (probably weighed at least half a pound, conservative estimate) for $2 each. I ate one last night and gave the other to Kelli because I'm a gentleman and shit, (my therapist: "You bought one for her? ...that was, um, big of you." I think that's code for "dumb") but she hasn't eaten it yet, so I'm thinking I'm going to renege on that gift. This shall be my new Valentine's Day tradition: I shall buy myself a present and a present for my significant other, and if I do not have a significant other, I shall use her gift for myself. New favorite holiday.

esperanza said...

I think that's a reasonable new tradition, especially if it involves homemade peanut butter cups.

Anonymous said...

Yup, falls in the "you snooze, you lose" category.
:)
Neighbor Lady

Sue said...

Agreed - a good new tradition.

Andy - your first sentence "I am surrounded by chocolate snobs" reminded me of my dad who used to throw his arms in the air during the chaos of my childhood and say "I'm surrounded by thieves and assassins!"

Ya, he was a bit of a drama queen. Or it may have had something to do with him living in a small house with five women. :)

kathy a. said...

Sue, your dad and mine would have been good pals.

PB cups for everyone!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Old Skool: clipping toddler fingernails. E has decided that she doesn't want to cooperate, and nothing seems to work. I just had to pin her down and trim her fingernails, because they were getting long and sharp. Many tears. So much squirming.

Anyone have any toddler-strength tranquilizers?

esperanza said...

TV? Watching slide show on the computer? Sesame Street clips?

Liz said...

Do it when she's asleep. That's what we did with Muffin Man at that stage.

Liz said...

AW: Virginia's ban on same-sex marriage has been struck down!!

I couldn't ask for a nicer Valentine's Day present. It's being stayed pending appeal, but it's obvious that I'm going to need to go summer dress shopping, 'cause there's gonna be weddings galore this Summer.

kathy a. said...

Second Liz on trimming while sleeping.

Also, yay Virginia!

Sue said...

WooHoo Liz!!!!!! A step closer to equal rights for all. Thumbs up for weddings and dress shopping too.

AW: House of Cards season 2 is out today.