Passing the virtual GS cookies, with extra helpings to Esperanza, Jenevieve, Sue, and anyone else sensing a shortage of girl scouts on the ground. There, there, Pixies. It will all be better soon. But what a week this has been....
The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Liz, who complains: "So, I'm working on a doorstop. An unwanted 124-page (and counting) doorstop." "But it's gonna be the best damned doorstop EVAH!" Runner-up in the Mullet category is Sarah, who advises: "Maybe you can laminate it, Liz. :) More layers."
Old Skool Award to Madeleine, with her seasonal whine: "Spring coat doesn't have enough pockets thus requiring purse-carrying. Hate purse carrying. Don't wanna. Stay tuned for first 'got to the store with no money' whine of the new year, because it is inevitable."
When It Rains, It Pours Award to Amy, because everything they own keeps breaking, and the bills stretch out the door, and she took an entire day waiting for an installer who won't come until a different day. Icing on the cake? The coffee-maker was one of the lost items -- yeeps! "oh, and our coffee maker died, but my husband's dream coffee maker won't be available to ship for a month, so we're drinking instant. my husband ordered his dream back-up coffee maker, but it won't ship for another week BECAUSE HE CHOSE SUPER SAVER SHIPPING. WTF?! shoot me."
Liz wins the Don't Mind the Mess, That's Just My Head Award for: "That BANG! you heard? That was my head exploding. I. Am. FURIOUS. Too angry even to talk about it now. Steam....ears....anger....LIZ SMASH!!" Runner-up in the Head 'Splosion category is Elizabeth, whose ire was sparked by stupid politics. And a late-breaking runner-up is Sue, whose brain didn't quite make it through "THE BREAKFAST MEETING FROM THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL."
Best Condolence Award to Jenevieve, who offered Liz the following, post-explosion: "Um, margaritas? Kittens? Fluffy white clouds in a blue sky?"
Knuckle Sandwich Award to Redzils, who is so sad, and tired of inappropriate comments about the end of her long-term relationship.
Love and Hugs to Purple Kangaroo. We are so glad you are doing well! And so sorry that your young friend is so very ill.
Esperanza sweeps the Bodily Fluids category, with whines of lactation and potty-training. Much sympathy! Esperanza also wins the Baboo Road Trip Award, setting off to see the grandparents with approximately 48 metric tons of equipment and necessaries.
N'Sync Award to Madeleine, and her swift new technological wizardry.
Puddle Jumping Award to Days! That sounds fun!
The Tax Man Cometh, and the Tax Man Taketh Away Awards to Sarah, Sue, Madeleine, and others similarly afflicted. Sarah takes home the Computer Crash Sash, as her computer woes required her to do the darned taxes again. The thought of that gives us all chills.
Enough With the Bad Meetings Award to Sue.
That's Not Right Award to JenR, whose son's favorite daycare teacher disappeared suddenly. And it turned out she'd been let go. With NO unemployment benefits! Hugs to your poor son; best wishes to the teacher; this is all so unfair.
We Hear Ya Award to Sarah, who is pulled between work and family, and fears that those in her local circles just don't relate and won't understand.
The We'd Like to Give Those Cops a Piece of Our Mind Award goes to Jenevieve, whose traffic ticket arrived not, and now the penalties and such add up to $575. OUCH. Also hope the back is better, and the vet report gets done, so we can line it up in the Doorstop Hall of Fame.
We Should Own Stock in Tissues Awards to Sue, who is still battling her illness from heck, Esperanza and the Baboos, Sarah, Days, Jenevieve ["Oh, now the whole family is joining in on the Head Cold of Doom fun. Sigh."], and all others waiting for the bugs to leave the premises.
Mystery Malady Award to Sarah -- we hope your daughter is feeling better soon. And that you can locate a new therapist soon, too.
The Cluestick Posse is hereby dispatched to Amy's husband [for the coffeemaker debacle], Those People at Liz's work, Those Other People at Sue's work, Those People tormenting Redzils, among other deserving parties.
See you next week, when the lovely and talented Miranda will host!
7 comments:
As you see, got the computer running again, with freshly-installed antivirus. Not really sure what happened, though, and I don't trust the darned thing. Must do backups. Should put the V1$t@ out of its misery, once and for all. I hate being my own IT guy, because I'm so bad at it.
*applause applause* Excellent awards as always kathy a. Glad the 'puter is healthy again.
I hear you on the terrible service you get when serving as your own IT person. We bought me a new backup drive last summer, but first wanted to use it in the upgrade/clean up of the family computers. Still waiting on that.
Woot!! You made me laugh and sob at the same time.
Doorstop went down to 79 pages due to picture cropping but will be going up to 200+ pages due to the fact that my boss likes full-size pix and only one per page, thankyouverymuch.
Doorstop.
Just heavy enough to...but no, that would be wrong.
Esperanza and the Baboos would be a good rock band name, don't you think?
Ha! Sure, we'll have Mini on the "screaming" electric guitar, Sweet on the incessant drumming, and Esperanza on the vocals. You won't be able to hear yourself think at one of our concerts.
Great awards. I say that we arm the cluestick posses with doorstops from now on.
oh my freakin' fireplace -- i am whiney beyond all get-out, and it is only monday. and i haven't started packing yet.
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