Welcome, whiners, to the mid-December whinefest.
It's slushy and slippery outside, I'm solo-parenting this week, and family are about to descend for a fun visit. Which part will be less than fun remains to be seen, but I'll let you know next week. My SIL is bound to say something tactless, and my mom will find something random to criticize. I am somewhat immune to this since the time she told me I don't have enough medium-sized mugs. Big ones, small ones, but not enough medium! The horror! But I love them, and we will have some fun.
My real whine is that the weird new glasses prescription I've been trying so hard to get used to? Might just be wrong. It occurred to me yesterday to close one eye at a time, and I realized that the left lens is making my vision blurry, not sharp. Well, that makes it harder to see, doesn't it?
I think I'll run in to the glasses place tomorrow to see if they got the lens wrong . . . if not, then back to the eye doctor, hunh?
Don't fear for my safety, I am still using my old glasses when I drive.
What are you doing this week? Slipping and sliding? Groaning and moaning? Swearing and shouting? Wrestling other shoppers for the last Cabbage Patch doll? Share!
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44 comments:
ack, glasses trouble! not seeing really throws a person off -- hope that gets fixed pronto, madeleine!
daughter [age 18] had her wisdom teeth out today. she is a total riot on Rx narcotics, which i shall watch closely -- she wanted to finish the movie she was watching when she went under; requested a toy from the dentist's treat box, and a visit from the tooth fairy; and asked if that feeling she had was like being a "little drunk." i advised her it was more like being "really wasted." she doesn't like it much.
my real whine is that i know which of my buttons can be pushed, and why. and and evil relative just pushed a couple of them. so i'd like to propose a little sing-along for those similarly afflicted, to the tune [more or less] of tom lehrer's "be prepared":
Disengage! Bite your tongue and move along,
Disengage! Though everything she says is wrong.
Disengage to hold your sanity in place,
Nothing else will ever do, so do not race.
Disengage! And do nothing to provoke,
Disengage! Don't forget her master-stroke
Is nothing but the cheapest kind of fluff
Made of polyester insults -- just stay tough!
Don't be angry, flustered, or enraged!
Disengage!
It is way too early for style awards Kathy. Aren't you on the west coast? (do I make these things up?) If so, it's only Tuesday - I'd hate to see what your actual Wednesday will be filled with. Is it wrong of me to have an antiwhine of thank goodness I'm not Kathy? Yes? Okay, I take it back. I think relatives being evil are the worst. They say mean things while they are trying to play the "helpful" card but then you can't tell them where to stick their "advice" because that would just get you talked about at each and every family gathering for the next ten years.
Kathy A. you are my hero.
Gene Weingarten may be doing a Tom Lehrer themed chat next week! I'll keep you apprised!
Diane, I think it's worth being talked about for 10 years if the evilness STOPS.
Now for my whine - what is with doctors wanting to be called Doctor? Whether it be an academic doctor or a medical doctor I have found, on numerous occasions, that it really annoys some individuals to call them Mr or Ms Fancypants as opposed to Dr Fancypants. Today I had someone correct me on behalf of her husband and practically bit my head off because I didn't call her Dr and Mrs Fancypants. I work in a financial institution where I feel pretty proud of myself for knowing most of my regulars last names - now I need to remember all their educational levels too? A lot of you are much more immersed in academia than I am...can you shed any light on this?
Okay, that's all I've got.
Kathy A., you are a musical genius. But sorry about the evil relative. Isn't the drugged-out thing a hoot?
Diane, all those years of sleep deprivation, financial deprivation, and other forms of self deprivation that it takes to get a Dr. in front of your name can lead to an illness called egotism. Ugh, what an unpleasant customer.
"If you want to be called Dr...wear a stethoscope."
"Wrestling" is the right word for it. I killed our Christmas tree.
I was trying to just put presents beneath it, and I guess it decided to commit tree hari-kari. It took a major nose dive. Gouging me in the shoulder with the wires on the way down. (Artificial tree.) Ouch.
The upside of it was that we only lost one ornament. Of course, we had to get a new tree, but only one ornament bit the dust, so I'm thankful for that.
My father had a checkup the other day -- one of his post-surgery bypass checkups -- and they ultrasound technician saw a "flutter" where there shouldn't be. Turns out Dad now has an occluded vessel in his carotid. The doc says that the artery is now worthless, and there's nothing they can do for it. Dad's seeking a second opinion, but if he needs surgery, he wants to get it done NOW in this calendar year. That way, the deductible is already met, and he won't have to pay that again. I worry about him. Hopefully, we'll be able to travel to see him sometime between Christmas and New Year's.
Klee - you have to decorate a christmas tree twice??? You should definitely get an award for that.
Love the song, Kathy A.
klee, sorry to hear about your father. Hope everything's ok.
Whine: I locked my keys in the car on Monday and didn't realize it until the afternoon.
Anti-whine: No one else noticed, so the car was still there when I returned. And my sweet husband came out with the boys and rescued me, without complaint.
Whine: We knocked ourselves out cleaning before our big Hanukkah party on Saturday and now the house is a shambles again. (Not so much from the party, but from the many gifts with small pieces that the boys received, the kitchen mess from the 7 layer cake I made for my office party, and the sewing supplies for the one present I made.)
Anti-whine: The party was a success, and we're not expecting any more company, so I'm willing to live with the mess a bit.
I'm actually not too whiny today. I'm sort of in the lull between the running around making Hanukkah happen craziness and the driving 1000 miles (each way) to see my inlaws at Christmas craziness.
My whine: my almost-Ex is still only almost. I still have to speak to her. In fifteen years together, she never learned how to say a nice word to me, but she definitely learned how to hurt me.
{{{Scrivener}}} I'm sorry to hear the process has been dragged out and dragging you down.
Elizabeth is whinin' it old skool for sure. Yay for a lull between stressful festivities.
I'm sending good second opinion vibes for KLee's dad. That sounds scary.
(((David)))
klee, holding good thoughts for your dad.
scriv, that sucks. badly.
Klee, I'm keeping your dad in my thoughts. Are your gouges okay?
Scriv, you know I'm thinking of you.
Late breaking whine: I'm realizing that I'm sufficiently tired and achy that my late night last night is probably not sufficient explanation -- I think I'm getting sick. Sigh.
Whine: Flat tire this morning.
Anti-whine: MS changed it and we dropped off MM at school just an hour late, and it didn't make me late for my Cell Bio final this afternoon.
Whine: Cell Bio final.
Further whine: I have no clue how I did.
Last Friday, Primo came home from school and told me there was no homework.
So on Sunday, when I finally unpacked his backpack, I was surprised to find a note explaining that it was his turn for Student of the Week, and here was a list of things I had to do to get ready - send 12 pictures, plan to meet him for lunch one day (preferably bringing a special meal!), and write a letter telling him how much he means to us. For the teacher to read aloud.
Homework for parents. Two weeks before the holidays. "You could send in a video, or write a letter, or a poem..."
Primo HATES sappy crap. So I wrote a poem in the style of Dr. Suess. Took all evening, on a night I really had lots of other things to do. I sent it today, with strict instructions to give it to the teacher.
"Did Ms. S read my note to you all?" I asked this afternoon.
"Oh, I put it in her mailbox," he said. "She didn't read anything."
Trying to guess whether she just didn't get around to it or whether Primo hid it under papers on her desk.
Oh, Sara, that is the worst update on a school story ever. Grrrrr.
Here's my update: I took the glasses back to the store, and the nice lady in the white coat (who does not get called doctor) put them under a microscope and declared that the left lens has an "opacity" which is why it is interfering with my vision. Any opticians in the crowd who can confirm my suspicion that "opacity" is the technical term for "the lab fireplaced up the job"?
Maybe she'll give me an extra cleaning cloth as an apology.
Sympathy to Liz and Elizabeth on finals and flu, in that order.
Icky, ick ick.
old skool votes for elizabeth and liz.
sara, that parent assignment takes the cake. at great sacrifice, i'm willing to make a donation to the Fund for Re-Educating Distracted Teachers: the first re-gifted fruitcake of the season, from my MIL, who got it from her former cousin-in-law in texas.
Diane -- let me clarify: I have decorated my tree THREE times now. Once when we originally put it up, once again after the Tree Seppuku, and the final time was when we got shot of the old tree, and put the new, non-broken one in its place. Argh.
Many, many hugs to Scrivener. I can't begin to tell you how much your situation sucks right now. I wish that there was more we could do for you. You have our love and undying support.
Sara -- sorry. It's bad enough that you have to do all this stuff on the fly, and when your attention really needs to be elsewhere, but then to have it kind of back-burnered is seriously frustrating. Hugs!
madeleine -- opacity means it's hard to see through, no? you'd better get more than a cleaning cloth out of this one.
kathy, they'll replace the lens, presumably with one that improves my vision instead of making it worse. And I don't think they could improve on the nifty red glasses case, so . . .
Kathy A. - major style award to you! Now I'll be singing Tom Lehrer the rest of the afternoon, which is a good thing.
((((Scriv)))))
((((KLee)))))) thinking of your dad
Sara, WTF is with that assignment, without an email to the parents (so they know they got it), and/or a week's notice? especially this time of year, and ESPECIALLY the part about writing the letter/poem/etc. about how much he means to y'all. Oy. A lovely idea when, y'know, unforced and known to be appreciated. Not so much in this fashion.
Madeleine, I definitely call shenanigans on the "opacity". What, somebody didn't realize that glasses are meant to see through?
My whine: I didn't go over to my dearest co-worker's office quickly enough -- she's gone for several months now for medical treatment out-of-state, I missed the chance to give her a hug before she left and give her the present I brought for her, and it's my own damn fault. At least I can mail it to her and she can have that to look forward to, she said.
whine: my nose is cold.
anti-whine: fairy lights are finally up on the outside of our house. hopefully will look cheery next to all the snow.
anti-whine: cold nose necessitates the taking of hot bath tonight. (what, you didn't know that baths warm up cold noses?!)
possible whine: if i don't warm this nose of mine up i will never get to sleep. yes, that is 6+ hours away. i worry too much...
Anti-whine: I won a national award! I am one of a hundred and my fellow awardees are from places like MIT, Harvard, and Notre Dame and represent a variety of disciplines outside my field.
Whine: There are two people I want to share this with. Grandma died last month and the other I am not sure I can talk to these days.
And because I am an idiot, I broke down and called the person with whom I wanted to share my news AND WAS REWARDED WITH VOICE MAIL.
I think that whine is pretty Old Skewl though.
I nominate KLee for Elevated Risk of Mullet (as well as Elevated Risk of Nasal Coffee Blasting my Laptop) for "Tree Seppuku". Whether or not it wins an award, I think I'll use it for the title of my holiday album someday, if that's alright with you, KLee.
i concur with dr. corndog on the mullet award.
and turtlebella has an excellent old skool whine.
and MIRANDA! congratulations!
No good deed goes unpunished. I got co-opted onto the board of my kid's daycare, and I've been busting my ass to do stuff - like researching names for a fundraising appeal - a letter that has already raised money in excess of it's (modest) postage costs, and which got good feedback (including things like a woman sending in a check with a note that said "I've lived in this town for 25 years and your organization has never before asked me for money). Good, right? Well, some guy on the board is on my case because he thinks the whole thing should have gone past the whole board, even though he wasn't at the last meeting at which I, along with two other people, was elected to a FUNDRAISING committee. I'm still steamed about this. I need to get over it.
Kathy A - I do so love Tom Lehrer - and I do love your new lyrics. Danke.
Whiiiiine: I know there must be better ways to get wax off a menorah than use your fingernails, but either they have not occurred to me or they are less effective or they scratch the menorah.
But I always wind up with wax digging in between my nail and the nailbed at least once.
I think that if I start whining I won't ever be able to stop. It's been a week.
Kathy A. I will be singing your lyrics every time I'm in the same room with my son. Thank you for that lovely gift.
Tree Seppuku must win the Mullet award. Brilliant!
OK, so where was I?
This weekend BOTH of our toilets clogged up and we had 36 very long hours without any plumbing. Are you getting that plumbing is an ongoing theme in my life. Root doctor and then plumber came, both are working now, but still not with much umph, if you get my drift.
Being broke and all, I thought looking for a bit of freelance work would be a good idea. But the pay! $3/post for blogging. Why even bother?
Hanukkah is thankfully over, but the gift I got from my son defies all wonder: a Jack Bauer statuette with Jack pointing a gun at me. It is... odd. Now, I'm a big 24 fan, but do I need a Jack Bauer action figure at the ripe old age of 55? I don't think so.
Son's shrink really went after him yesterday and called him a gifted fuckup. Oh yeah. The thing is, son IS a gifted fuckup. But does he need to hear that from his shrink? I think maybe he did. He sure hears it from me.
Today was a huge party that I look forward to all year. It's the schools holiday party for the special needs kids and everyone from the mayor to the probation officers attend. I was up, dressed, and ready. My freaking ride DID NOT COME. I missed the party. Plus my kids did not bring back one morsel of food for me. Selfish bastids.
But that brings up the theme of the week: handicap transportation. Or, as my son says, Handicap Misinformation. They screw up almost every ride. They are never on time. The average wait time after their supposed arrival is 45 minutes. If they come. Which is often not the case. I need a car so badly.
But on the plus side, I started Cardiac Rehab at the Mind Body institute this week and it's at least 3 hours of ME time. So richly deserved.
oh, margalit!!!! Major votes for the plumbing nightmare and the transportation fireplaces (can we use that as a noun?). And I am going to try to send you better plumbing vibes.
Kathy, if you can do another Tom Lehehr rewrite, this time of "New math," about Everyday Math, I will send you the cheesy Beethoven statue that still adorns my parents' piano (The one that the piano teacher gave everyone after the recital in 1982).
Klee - I'm sorry about your dad's "flutter." What a pretty word for something so worrisome.
I'm in constant fear of losing my contact lenses, especially since I lost my glasses sometime last month. I always carry a spare set on me in case a contact falls out. The spare set is usually last month's pair that should probably not be worn anymore, but works in a pinch.
Anyway, somehow, my contacts have gotten crossed. I can't ever figure out which pair is old and which one is new, and some days I think an old one got switched in a new one. At any rate, every morning I've been switching three different contacts in my left eye trying to figure out which one is the fresh one, and just go with the one that hurts least. It's rather tedious.
S. The easiest way to clean the wax out of your hanukiah is to put it under hot water until the wax softens. Pry the soft wax out with q-tips or with a chop-stick so you won't scratch it. Or do what I do, gouge the fireplacing things to death to clean off all the wax.
But the hot water works great. I know some people with all metal ones put them in the oven to warm them up, but that seems excessive to me. And there is that blowtorch you only use at Pesach, right? :-)
Whine of OMGosh it's December 13th how can that be It was just January I was just pregnant Kid2 can't be turning one in a month All those people selfishly wishing for the future to just get here already are speeding up time and it's like 2007 went by in a week and I don't like this at all. Seriously, where did 2007 go?
The bar is fully stocked, so the drinks are on me this week.
Late to the ball, as usual. Hope this still counts.
My mom's intestines tied themselves in a knot and completely blocked off her GI tract. Again. Different place from three years ago.
The surgery for THAT went well, but she developed a rapid heart rate and a heart flutter in recovery. She spent two days in ICU wired to every medical device known to man.
It's been a week since the surgery and she's still just eating clear liquids. She has so much fluid in her lungs she's developed pneumonia. She's still running a fever. They're dumping three different antibiotics into her, giving her breathing treatments several times a day, and making her spend all her time sitting up or walking to try to break stuff loose. But she's also on a self-administered morphine pump, and she gets so loopy she forgets she's pushed it or even that it's in her hand and then she pushes it again. It's scary.
I was there from the day before the surgery until the day after she got out of the ICU. I'll go back if 1) she gets worse or 2) they let her out of the hospital. My husband took over some Christmas stuff, but he just couldn't do it all. And I've been so busy since I got back catching up normal household stuff that I haven't been doing much in the way of Christmas, either.
I can't make appointments or buy tickets for holiday-type shows or even tell my niece that we'll be in town for Christmas Day dinner (which was the original plan) b/c I don't know when I'll get called back to my hometown.
((Camera Obscura))
Sending healthy vibes to your mom and some Christms Cheer vibes for you. It is so hard to watch loved ones in the hospital and not know when they will get better.
That Mommy - I'm with you on the time passage lament. My babies are all in school full time and the oldest baby started high school. How is that possible if he was just born a few months ago?
Andy and Madeleine - Vision is such an important thing. I hope you get your respective vision-enhancing apparatuses(i?) worked out.
Kathy A - I don't know the original tune, but I've set your lyrics to my own tune and I've been singing since Tuesday night. That's Hall of Fame worthy, my dear.
Diane - a woman I work with swore that if/when she finished her PhD, her own mother would have to call her "Doctor." I don't think she was using hyperbole, either.
KLee - I still haven't put up my one tree and you've decorated, what? three? *bows* I hope your Dad is okay and I'll add my votes for the term "Tree Seppuku."
((Scrivener)) There is nothing I can say that will make it better or help. Just know that you will find a new "normal" and it will be so much better.
((Margalit)) I am hoping for a better 2008 for you and your children.
I hope you feel better soon, Elizabeth and that your finals go well, Liz.
Magpie - Been there, have the coffee mug with regard to thankless volunteer work.
Wishing all the pixies a good end to a long week!
Finals are done!
Now, I need to see if I can get a part-time job for the winter break.
And I have so many votes, I don't know where to start.
About getting the wax off of candlesticks? Put them in the freezer for an hour - usually the wax chips right off then.
((Margalit))
((Camera Obscura))
And an old skool vote to S. for wax under your fingernails.
Ooh, Andy, that's crummy. It's my contact lens nightmare (and I don't even wear them anymore).
Many congratulations, Miranda!! Yay for you!! And sorry that you can't talk about with the people you want to tell.
((Margalit))
((Camera Obscura))
Mazel tov, Liz, on the end of finals!
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