Good Moooorning, Whiners!

Radio station WHNE (that's "whiney" on your AM dial) is pleased to temporarily present round-the-clock, round-the-week coverage of all your rock 'n whine favorites, provided that Bl0gger does not decide to perform more "maintenance" and crash the station and collaterally damage the collection of valuable 33 and 78 vinyl whines.

Grace under fire, good buddies. Praise the intertubes, and pass the ammunition.

Let's start out with a little number by Bruce Springsteen, Stolen Car. My day started at 1:00 a.m. with a cop pounding on the door; he came to advise us that our car had been stolen. And it was quite a tale -- the perp was being chased up the hill in another stolen car; he abandoned the car and ran through the nature center, hopped a couple of fences to get to our sleepy cul-de-sac; hotwired the car; then crashed the car and was in custody. The officer evidently had not seen so much excitement since Desert Storm, an accomplishment he mentioned in passing.

And my husband and I -- once the panic stage passed and we were wearing proper clothing -- had to do our best to keep from laughing. This criminal mastermind stole probably the crappiest car on the block, a car I've wanted to offload for years, a car my husband kept exclusively for taking the dogs to the regional park, a car we probably could not have convinced the "donate your car" people to take.

Our vigilant dogs -- the ones who alert us to the dangerous mailman's arrival every day, and to unauthorized racoons in the yard? -- they slept through the whole thing, including the strange man pounding the door and yelling "police." The delicate cat responded, as always, with a few pook accidents.

Special prizes this week for stuff that makes you laugh, and music references. Let 'er rip!

AWARDS!!

Wow, I don't think the awards have EVER been this late before. I apologize for my own tardiness --- blame it on Lego Pirates of the Caribbean for the Wii as well as the Blogger melt-down.

Speaking of, I'm sending a cluestick posse out to Blogger for losing some of our whines, as well as some lovely comments I got on a post elsewhere (and comments Jo(e) lost too).

Remembering What It's All About goes to P_K for her mammogram and to Esperanza who is weaning (FIFTEEN MONTHS!!! AWESOME!!)

Anti-whine of the week, P_K has joined the fibrous ta-tas brigade!! May all her mammograms be as clear as the one she had this week.

Golden Throne awards to all people dealing with self-flushing toilets and potty-training children. Word to the wise, the toilets at the Panera near my house are NOT self-flushing, but they resemble Old Faithful. Flush and jump out of the way quickly.

Elevated Risk of Mullet to Esperanza for

I don't know what was wrong with me, except I had the patience of a gnat, and everything they did was obnoxious and annoying and frustrating and snot-producing.

Who among us have not been there?

Cluestick posse being sent forthwith to Sue's problematic parishioner.
Good ideas are only good ideas if the people who come up with them are willing to put them into action as well.

Old Skool award to Sue for "burned my tongue on yummy supper made by hubby. Ouch."

The love and kisses award to Days, we can't hug you or give you chicken soup, but we CAN send you our thoughts and good wishes and prayers.

That's it for um....last week. Tune in....tomorrow! When our host will be Kathy A!

Turns out, nobody likes a tyrant

The broo-ha-ha from last week is gaining attention from folks who actually have the authority to do something about it.

I'm trying not to gleefully chortle...but I'm not trying very hard.

Meanwhile, several local blogs have written about it, and my blog has over 30 comments. None of them are "I know you are, but what am I?" Which is nice.

What's going on in your neck of the woods?

TGIF edition

I think we've had about enough of this week. So long, farewell... Without further ado, here are the prizes.

Amy takes home the Old Skool Award, for her pithy entry: "Chin hairs." Runner-up for Old Skool is Days, who has looked high and low and cannot locate her birth certificate.

Many Pixies feel solidarity around the issue of chin hairs, but Neighbor Lady wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award with her response: "All I can say is if the nice thick hairs that sprout on my chin could somehow switch with my poor thin, fine hairs on my head, I would have the hairstyle I always dreamed of."

Runner-up for Mullet is Sue, who discloses the secret location of her birth certificate and comments that she keeps it "just in case I ever become an elected official and some comb-over doofus needs proof that I was born, not hatched."

Winged Demons Award to Esperanza, who is struggling with a fruit fly infestation. Her residential tribe of fruit flies spits upon Dr. Google's kitchen-safe elimination methods, leading us to suggest going full-fortress: maybe keep their favorite food, kid bibs, in the fridge?

Meltdown Award to Esperanza, for the winning combo of Sweet losing it in the post office, a not-great therapy session, hours in the car and another medical thing, then the cooking for 2 families, cleaning, yadda. We feel like a meltdown, just reading about all that in one day. ;)

The "Would You Care for Some Poison With That?" Award was hard-won by Sue, whose dining experience was not enhanced by the inclusion of shallots after she had advised the waiter of allergies. Big of them to take it off the bill! But that is an insufficient gesture, and the Cluestick Posse is ready to go.

As soon as the Posse has warmed up, it is headed on over to present Liz's Former Dem Committee with a special award: What, Have You Lost Your Minds? We are not amused at middle school behavior in a grownup political group, nor at lobbing petty disrespect at The Doorbell Queen, a tireless friend who walks the walk in a more literal way than most. Middle-school bullying is not a good demonstration of democratic ideals. What led to your resignation is appalling. Members of the Posse may be moved to multiple visits to a certain individual.

Political Angst Awards to our Canadian Pixies, Sue and Days, following this week's elections. Silver Lining Sash (and crossed fingers) for a strong opposition.

Hugs and a Housewarming Award to Miranda, as she embarks on the single life in a new place! Long time coming, and much sympathy on the Whines Left Unsaid.

Chicken soup and a medical breakthrough to JenR, who has suffered with bronchitis for, like, ever already. Also hoping that Sarah and Sue are feeling better. Kudos to Sue for the latest round of Taming teh Headache.

Button, Button, Who's Got the Button Award to Amy, whose mother's criticism mode does not seem to have an off switch. This prize comes with a handy set of earplugs, and a great deal of chocolate.

Hugs to Sarah for her latebreaking whine -- on the up side, her brother's moved on and is getting married; and on the downside, not even his parents are invited. The Cluestick Posse will stop by. xoxo

Mother's Day is coming up, and we congratulate all who celebrate! But as several Pixies point out, there are reasons not everyone is thrilled with this Hallmark holiday. Hugs to Sue, for whom the day is a reminder of the loss of her beloved mom; to Esperanza, who found that becoming a mom (after the pain of infertility) didn't make her like the day any better; and for those of us whose moms bring mostly painful memories. The real celebrations of motherhood and moms is in the everyday, in our opinion.

Big and small

The news of last night is so striking. It brings back so many feelings and memories of 9/11 and all that ensued. I particularly remember my 12 year old daughter trying to process the horror, writing her thoughts out that night, saving headlines, making origami cranes for peace and love and remebrance. She knew that day would change our lives, and so it proved.

I cannot celebrate any death, even of someone who inflicted so much evil. But I feel relief that he can no longer call for acts of violence, that he can no longer brag of what he did. I am grateful that this development was so carefully planned, that it did not take more lives than it did. And I am hopeful that we can begin winding down from nearly a decade of fear and war.

Please share your thoughts, if you are so moved. (But please also note our commenting policy -- messages that are hateful or disparaging will be removed by a moderator.)

This development does not affect our custom of welcoming whines and antiwhines of all stripes! On the AW side, sunshine and perfect weather! W: zit on nose, very unseemly. AW: first pasta salad of the season, and it's yummy! W: cut my finger cleaning a knife.

How are things up your way?

Awards from the Spaghetti Factory

Ahem. Have been up at hubby's church for a large portion of the day to help with the HUGE spaghetti supper (they prepared 1100 plates). I smell like spaghetti sauce. Not unpleasant, but I'm done with it.

Without further rambling...

We have several Medical Whine Awards this week. One to liz, for a certain someone's reluctance to get something checked out. And another one to liz, for her own worrisome symptoms. (Really, liz, one of these per week would be plenty). And one to our headache queen, Sue (really, Sue, we'd like to remove that particular crown from your head). Another one to sarah at ratatat, for her little one's pneumonia and her bigger one's anxiety. And another one to p_k, for her own chronic illnesses and her daughter's troubling ones. And another one to kathy a, for her son's head injury and the cat's pook issues.

Special Medical Cluesticks will be applied (gently) as follows: certain someone at liz's house, people who create and require long forms, and kathy a's son, for getting himself into bad situations, more than once.

Weather Whine Awards to NUD, who managed to dodge most of the flooding for her big event, to all who have too much rain and too little, and to those who are afflicted with snow in April.

A Style Award to Sue, for the put-your-coffee-down-first Snow Log.

Many hugs to Sue for the non-supportive support group, p_k in the loss of her friend (sweetie, we all wish we could have done more/said more/been better friends), JenR for the house selling/hunting, and Days, who has apparently had all manner of livestock on her dining room table.

Kudos to insurances who cover needed treatments, well-timed breaks from the rain, gainful employment for offspring, and warrantied computers.

And a final cluesticking to Blogger, for being a twit.

Introverts Anonymous Whining Post

Whew, the marathon is over for preacher families. Grandparent visits, overflowing churches, new dresses, ouchy shoes, dinner invites, recovering from tummy bug, sniffles, oh my.

Sweet suffered from severe overload all weekend, I guess. She was overwhelmed by things that she usually takes in stride. It came out as silence and a chronic need to be held. Hopefully getting back into her normal routine will help this week.

Mini suffered from allergies, of the upper respiratory and skin rash variety and was generally miserable, night and day.

Mama suffered from the above maladies, plus way too much "face time" with the extended family and various churchy activities.

If you celebrated last weekend, I hope yours was more relaxing than ours. If you didn't celebrate, may I confess a teensy bit of jealousy.

Whichever is the case, let the whines flow...