Saturday, May 31, 2008

A Quick Annoucement: Change of Hosts

This is Liz, letting you know I'll be filling in for kathy a. this week. Kathy's mom has just had a stroke. Kathy, we are all thinking of you and your mom. I hope that she is able to make a full recovery. Sending prayers and love to you.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


Ice cream for everyone! Particularly Diane (it’s not her, it’s the baby who is eating it all) and Madeline. Extra ice cream for Esperanza – we hear it is good for lactating women and she needs the calories. Sugar free ice cream to Amy, along with sympathy vibes over a less than thrilling pregnancy. Yes, “there had better be a freakin' prize at the end.”

The Style Award (along with Amy’s aptly named ‘what fresh hell’) award goes to Margalit for her Mastercard worthy whines: ”Pictures of my daughter on Facebook smoking a bong. Priceless!”

We all can relate to, “Gas over $4.00/gal. Fantastic!” I am trying to look at this as an opportunity – after all, I like trains. I mean, 48 hours on Amtrak to travel 700 miles is an adventure, right?

The Elevated Risk of Mullet award goes to Kathy for the "Annual State Budget Rodeo and Standoff, wherein no checks get cut until 2/3 of the state legislature does the polka en masse and the governor learns to play the accordion," which we all think is the best way to describe the state budgeting process ev-ah.

Miranda’s anti-whine of “no one died this weekend” is indeed worthy. But, honey, we think that being your anti-whine, is whine-worthy in and of itself.

Klee, we are glad your performances (new choreography and all) are going well. Maybe Indiana Jones with the husband can be your victory lap when it is all over?

Liz, yay that the puking was a one time, motion sickness sort of thing, and the rash faded. Keep ducking those kid germ disasters!

Madeline, good save on the birthday! I am glad the art school was an acceptable substitute for Build-An-Alliterative-Stuffed-Animal.

The self-selected Old Skool prize to Purple­­_Kangaroo, for her situation with the housecleaners. Yes, yes, universe, she is grateful they make her life easier. But, could you please see if they could make her life easier without burning holes in her carpet and leaving her floors sticky with toxic chemicals?

Cluesticks to DevilMacDawg’s boss who forgets that DMD has, ya’ know, a LIFE, Sara’s micromanaging boss, and Sue’s stoopid “care” team.

Sarah at ratatat also gets an Old Skool prize for her deferred closet whine. We think you deserve a nice new closet, and wish you luck sorting out the dimensions of other people’s closets in the meantime.

DMD, good luck on the single parenting. We all know that “almost potty trained” is the worst, but have faith you are up to the challenge.

All the good vibes and (caffeinated) tea in China to Jenevieve, who is conquering finals and moving this week, so she can move on to the rocking summer.

Thanks for playing, Pixies. See you next week!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The ice cream edition!

This Wednesday Whining is brought to you from the southern coast, by a redzils who grew up much, much further north. The humidity is 50%, the temperatures are in the high 80s, and I feel like an icecream cone - I am melting.....

My anti-whine? Even though I wasn't signed up in advance, Miranda is letting me host my Very! First! Wednesday! Whine! Thanks, Miranda!

What are your whines, pixies? Any good anti-whines to cancel them out?

Anticipatory ice cream all around!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Awards! Brought to you by the number 325.

By my calculations, yesterday marked the start of my three-hundred-and-twenty-fifth period. To celebrate, I am adding a bottle of extra-strength motrin to every prize!!
Sarah at Ratatat wins "Most Heart-breaking" with the words "Anti-whine: she promises to try to keep my ovaries". Sarah, we are all thinking of you and so grateful that your girl is growing well and hoping that you get to keep all your girly bits intact and healthy. Love, love, love.
The "Happy Fireplacing Birthday" award goes to Kathy A., who also wins the style award for her haiku:

son's new bike, early

birthday present, was stolen

birthday is 6/5.

The "Timing is Everything" award goes to Diane. Two-person department! Two due dates! One! Day! Apart! Woo!

This week's "Elevated Risk of Mullet" goes to....Kathy A! for "There is significant local pressure for me to clean the fireplacing litter boxes again, already, as if I hadn't done that in the last 24 hours, too." I'm not sure, but I think this may be the first week that Style and EROM went to the same person for two different whines.

Debangel is, I think, worthy of a new award: the "Yes, my dear, you win" award for most worthy whines in a single paragraph. I'm so sorry, Debangel, about everything.

KLee, I know you are going to slay them! Congratulations on your opening night!

Hugs to margalit.

And congratulations to Esperanza's Baboo who does NOT have the horrible disease!!! May she now remember how to sleep through the night. Sending also patience to Baboo's daddy. Rome was not built in a day.

Hugs and air freshener to Amy and Amy's mom.

And...that's all for this week. Tune in next week when your hostess with the mostest will be the lovely and talented Miranda!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wednesday Whining: Aaaaggghhh!!! It's Wednesday Edition

My whine is I forgot it was Wednesday and I'm HOSTING!

Go to it people!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

News Flash

The WW community supports families of every sort. Today, the California Supreme Court -- which, despite the stereotypes about my state, is pretty darned conservative -- decided that same-sex marriages do not violate the California Constitution.
We therefore conclude that in view of the substance and significance of the
fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California
Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to
all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well
as to opposite-sex couples.

Here is a news clip. Here is the Court opinion.

I'm calling this the Anti-Whine of the week, and one a long time coming.

The "I'd Like a Refund" Edition*

Congratulations to Liz on her Graduation! Today!

Five Months Along Awards to Turtlebella, Diane, and Amy!

Hooray to Esperanza’s Baboo, who is adding developmental milestones!

Much love to Elizabeth, who heard the worst kind of news about a friend’s child and husband.
Hugs to Klee, who has worked so hard and made great progress, and cluestick to her director; Sue, whose specialist appointment was moved up, but is still weeks away; History Enthusiast, who is struggling and depressed; Purple Kangaroo, whose therapist advised there is nothing more to be done; and NUD, who did not get the job.

Old Skool Awards to Madeleine, who has a sore on the tip of her tongue, and Elizabeth, whose shoes have all conspired to give her blisters.

Duct Tape Award to Miranda, for creative car repair after an unfortunate incident that is probably the cat’s fault. Also, the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for: "Mailboxes and sideview mirrors were not meant to be BFF’s . . .."

Teeny tiny Violin Awards to Diane’s husband, and PK’s 5 year old, both injured so grievously that they can’t do anything except what they want to do.

Adventures in Teen Parenting Award to Margalit, for dealing with text porn. Yuckerino.

There are so many whines of substance this week. Hugs, brownies, and our best to all the Pixies suffering this week from: missing school already; achy belly; varicose veins; lack of sleep; velcro cats; children who need to be dragged places; caffeine deprivation; travel adventures; canker sores, allergies, and/or bloody noses; children with issues and their 504's; depression; puppy trouble twice a day; lack of progress on the dissertation; flimsy props; headaches; depressed spouses; fatigue; chronic health problems; overdoing it; spouses who la la la la can’t see the clutter; co-workers of such a magnitude of idiocy that work now monitors e-mail and internet use; waiting to hear about the promotion; baboos who will be a different gender than hoped; working in the "ivory basement"; working in the middle of freaking nowhere; and, of course, the perennial favorites of dirty dishes, dirty laundry, dirty bathroom, and piles of junk that multiply like bunnies.

Thanks for playing! See you next week, when the host will be our own Newest Graduate, Liz!

* Title inspired by PK.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Hills Are Alive

Afternoon serenade, 20 feet from my office window.
Our brilliant dogs have developed a new hobby, collaborating with a particularly rambunctious young deer: Inter-Species Standoff! The deer comes right up to our fence and says, "Nyah nyah nyah! You can't catch me!" The dogs bark their fool heads off. The deer prances; the dogs bark more. And so on. The deer is several times the size of the dogs, and could easily jump the fence, but the dogs clearly hold the noise advantage.

In antiwhines -- even though I enthusiastically endorsed the Mothers Against Mother's Day Movement last week, and expected a quiet [ha!] day alone with the domestic and native wildlife, my son rode the bus and his bike to visit Sunday. We've had our ups and downs, as some might recall, but it was terrific to just hang out with him. And he brought an anti-Hallmark card:

What's new by you? Bring your whines and antiwhines both big and small, funny stories and turns of phrase. Passing the virtual popcorn.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Awards That Nearly Were Not

Pixies, I have to say I forgot just how much work being a stay-at-home mom is. There is always "just one more thing" to do before I can read all the whines and do a proper award post. Then it was time to pick up the kids from their respective schools and start the whole evening routine.

I am beginning to think writing a hundred pages in under a month was easier.

And now for some richly deserved awards...

In a stunning consensus that the DNC could really learn from, the Pixies have decided to enact a protest holiday: Mothers Against Mother's Day. I like the political beginnings of the day but I hate the treacly sentimentality and commercialism attached to the current incarnation of Mother's Day. Sign me up for the protest.

Wishing Liz lots of luck as she heads into exams and a giant You Go Girl award for graduating! Isn't it nice to show the young'uns how to do school properly?

Giving Kathy A the Didn't You Learn Not To Take Things That Don't Belong To You Award And That Includes My Credit Cards Award because clearly someone, somewhere in her universe missed that lesson in elementary school.

Tied for the Didn't Some Common Sense Come With That Fancy Degree Award is Name Under Development and Devil MacDawg. Cluesticks for you both to use.

Name Under Development also receives a standing ovation by yours truly and an Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her hilarious whine about menopause:
I was also grumpy because Auntie Flo decided to show up this morning after several months away. I’d been hoping that menopause had become meno-stop, but obviously Flo has just been messing with me. (She really didn’t have to go to all that trouble.) Bert is out of town, so our cat is discombobulated and pesters me constantly, and I have cold sore on the inside of my lower lip that will be filling out a voter registration card of its own any day now.

There were many substantive whines this week.

I'd like to give Esparanza and the Sweet Baboo big hugs for all they have endured. I hope you have some answers.

Sue I hope the group therapy continues to help.

Purple Kangaroo I hope you can get some sleep and some competent help with the children to help you sleep better.

Magpie I hope you can find some space for yourself in this very trying time.

That Mommy I am glad you have not been the target of fraud but spendy months are hard on the bank balance.

Quinn I am glad your touchy student is no longer bothering classmates but it sucks that you are kind of responsible for it.

To everyone, thanks for stopping by and lending your shoulders and sharing your margaritas. We will be back next week with the inimitable and stylish Kathy A at the helm of the brigadoon.

Have a great week everyone!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Sneak Attack Whines

I have a friend who is a great dad who does all kinds of stuff with his son. Last summer, he drove his son Up North for a scouting trip with a vehicle with a small problem of unknown origin. He then spent the rest of the summer trying to coordinate repairs with Cletus The Undermotivated Mechanic from his home base in the suburbs. It was pretty ugly and exorbitantly expensive by the time all was said and done. However, it was blogged hilariously for all to enjoy*.

I am driving Teen Son and a few friends to a big conference Up North this weekend. Up North is three hours away. Upon leaving, Spouse said, "Uh, you may want to check out the brakes. They seem a little off." He took my sporty little Vibe, which I had lovingly maintained the last two years I have been the primary driver of it, and left me with the minivan. Since Out East is rather spread out, it was a prudent choice on his part to exchange the large, gas-guzzling vehicle for the nimble, less-thirsty one.

Now that I have a college degree, I know to approach problems with smarts. Since I am old, I've learned it is often smart to learn from other people's mistakes so as to avoid making them myself. The brakes on the van were most certainly off and I had no desire to experience Cletus in the flesh so I dropped the van off this morning with my trusted mechanic.

Pixies, I don't suppose I need to tell you that "the brakes may be a bit off" turned out to mean "Ma'am, all four of your brake pads are shot, your front rotors are rusted and pitted, and you need new struts, shocks, and your tie rods are loose."

The original estimate was for $1500. Oh, and Spouse tells me that the car payment is very nearly 90 days past due. He hopes that I can get it straightened out with the stimulus check.

Four days ago, I was over the moon because I had bypassed obstacles left and right and earned a bachelor's degree summa cum laude with honors. Today, I used the $300 in graduation gift money I received from family to fix the front brakes on my van. The rest will have to wait for the stimulus check.

Rather than cancel the trip, I am going to borrow my mother's car. I will owe my mother a favor, Pixies. That is never a good place to be in if you are me.

So any sneak attacks in your neck of the woods? The Clue Stick Brigade is fully stocked up on cluesticks. For other whiners, we have the leftover margaritas from yesterday are in the blender, and I have some leftover blueberry cake and chocolate chip pancakes from dinner.

As always, prizes for Style, Old Skewl, and clever turns of phrase.

Let the whining commence!

*Sadly, I can't link because my friend no longer blogs.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Awards (how's that for an original post title?)

Sorry guys, this week it's all about the bras: the titslinger award goes to all those whose bras are too small, too big, too itchy, too poke-y, too sweaty, too cleavage-inducing or otherwise just not working. With special regards for Sara, because bra shopping should never be an all-family event.

If it isn't about the bras, it's about the poop:
  • kathy a gets the golden pooper scooper award for dealing with her cats' prodigious output.
  • diane gets the creative use of a bathing suit award for using it to stop her daughter from removing her diaper
Elevated risk of mullet goes to Amy for "I have the longest, most beautiful, most luxurious, shiniest hair known to woman. In my nose." And I now have milk in my nose as a result.

Congrats to Miranda, Liz and Sue's son for their impending graduations. Good luck to esperanza and her sweet baboo on the doctors' appointments today. And good wishes to Margalit and her family for successful mediation of IEP and quick deposit of "rebate" check so they can buy some food. Geez louise.

Have a good week folks.